Emiya Clan: Fate School Days
by throwaawy
Summary: Series of omakes/snippets based off Gabriel Blessing's "In Flight" and the subsequent Emiya Clan meme from the forums. for-fun, not serious, take with a grain of salt. OC's abound.
1. Introduction

•••** Based off an imaginary GOOD-END for Gabriel Blessing's "In Flight" (_fanfiction. net/ s/ 6556187/ 1/_) **•••

The Emiya Clan is an imagined family filled with OC's assuming Shirou got a full-fledged harem ending with his flock... and then some. Various characters have been created/contributed by the members of the _TFF Omakes_ thread and expanded into the _Emiya Clan_ thread on the forums:  
>(<em>fanfiction. net forum/ The_Mechanics_of_In_Flight/ 88086/_)

For a full list please refer to **KittyBear's **(**_fanfiction. net/ s/ 7052893/ 1/ Emiya_Clan_Reference_Data_Sheet_**)

...

_**—Misc Dislaimers—  
>Nasuverse<strong> belongs to Type-Moon _  
><em><strong>Sekirei<strong> belongs to Sakurako _Gokurakuin_  
><strong>"In Flight"<strong> belongs to Gabriel Blessing  
><strong>Neon Genesis Evangelion<strong> belongs to Studio GAINAX_  
><em><strong>"Nobody Dies"<strong> belongs to Gregg Landsmann_  
><em><strong>Devil May Cry<strong> belongs to Capcom and Kamiya_ _Hideki_  
><em><strong>Ouran Highschool Host Club<strong> belongs to Bisco Hatori_  
><em><strong>Avatar: the Last Airbender<strong> belongs to M. DiMartino and B. Konietzko_  
><em><strong>Bleach<strong> belongs to Tite Kubo  
><em><strong>"Sword Dancers"<strong> belongs to ____Kiseki ____Himura  
><em>_

_The Emiya Clan collectively is the intellectual property of the members of the TFF Forum, "The Mechanics of In-Flight"_  
><em>My own personal OC contributions are Koyuki, Kumako, and Gekkou. Feel free to use them however you want so long as it is EC-related.<em>

...

**Artwork**  
><em>(emiya-clan-residence. deviantart. com gallery/)_ — Art Archived by HubiKoshi and the dA group #Emiya-Clan-Residence

_(img687. imageshack. us/ img687/ 203/ 4koma02. jpg)_ — nonspecific time, Reiko and her Pudding

_(img155. imageshack. us/ img155/ 5624/ koyuki. jpg)_ — Nerima18, Koyuki's 'battle costume' and stance

_(img850. imageshack. us/ img850/ 9231/ inflight. jpg)_ — In Flight poster, with sloppy coloring

_(img684. imageshack. us/ img684/ 8025/ ecfateclanwarsv2. jpg)_ — HS from maximorph1's EC: Black Knight/Clan Wars

...

**—Misc Errata—  
><strong>Gradation Air (Tracing) – we all fell victim to it at first, they're all kids of Shirou so _naturally_ they'd have his abilities, right? of course at some point a Type-Lunatic brought up just how weird Shirou was for mastering it, and not all of the kids have UBW so...

Rune-Created Dimensional Space – is our new answer. a research resulting from a collaboration of Rin, Bazette, and Shirou getting together to create... well, HammerSpace. if you see an example of (casual) projecting abilities for major items, it has been retconned into this (like Keiko and her guns; we let her keep projecting bullets though). the runes are either inscribed onto the user themselves (Victoria's Secret Compartment), onto favored clothing (Battle Costumes), or onto pendants (the Ultimate Keychain Accessories!)  
>there <em>are<em> still a handful of characters who can still use it, but we nerfed them hard so they cant just _(insertweaponhere)_-spam like Archer/Shirou does.

...**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>I guess the full title of these could be called, "In Flight-Omakes: Emiya Clan: FateSchool Days" ...which is really long. I'll just refer to this as "**Fate/School Days**"

...**  
><strong>

**F:SD** and its various sidestories take place 1-2 years before the 'main events' of the Emiya Clan omakes. The primary cast includes (sorted by age)

Elementary 1st Grade (age 6-7):  
>Gekkou<br>Kumako  
>Reiko<p>

Middle School 1st Year (AGE 12-13):  
>Keiko<br>Koyuki  
>Karin<br>Sakuya

This is my the primary cast for my series of Omakes, but various members of The Clan will make appearances here and there for possible continuity purposes.

...**  
><strong>

**Emiya Clan Misc OMAKES** take place concurrent with the 'main timeline' or later (there will be a note in the a/n if the timeline is different). currently this includes:

Nerima** — **_series; xover with Ranma 1/2_

NGE: Nobody Dies — _oneshot; xover_

Devil May Cry — _oneshot; xover_

Melty Blood: Neco-Arc — _oneshot (get it? it's a story arc with Necos... haha...)_

Ouran — _series; xover with Ouran Highschool Host Club_

Ba Sing Se — _oneshot(?); xover with Avatar: the Last Airbender  
><em>

Karakura — _oneshot; xover with Bleach_

Lorelei — _oneshot; xover with Sword Dancers  
><em>

...

* * *

><p><strong>Why is this separate from chronodekar's OMAKE collection?<strong> eh.. he asked us contributors to help him organize the collection ^^a  
>at least any new stuff. go see his story for the old stuff (<em>fanfiction . net s/6957555/1/_)

* * *

><p>...<p>

**In-Depth Character Profiles**_  
><em>

the guys on the forums are trying to revamp our character profiles to make them more descriptive. for my part, i added a 'powers' section... and wrote it up like a half-baked dnd character sheet. i feel moderately geeky. you'll also notice a section called 'personality tropes'. if you have no idea what this is, i encourage you to end your life as you know it and visit (tvtropes . org)

Keiko_'s written by mu-sensei  
><em>Koyuki_'s written by me__  
><em>Karin_ and _Sakuya_'s are a collaboration between me and mu-sensei  
><em>Reiko_'s written by _shadowzerover5_  
><em>

_we don't have one for the rest yet, though deus-rasengan2, HubiKoshi, and __Trooper1023 have made some for their own respective 'main' characters on the forums_

..._  
><em>

* * *

><p>...<strong><br>**

**Name (+creator):  
><strong>Keiko Emiya _(Mu-Sensei)_

**Age/Gender:  
><strong>13-f (School Days); 16-f (Nerima)

**Parent:  
><strong>Rin

**Appearance:**  
><em>Physical: <em>Dark Red haired, with one or two side tails, Cyan eyes that seem to sparkle in glee or burn in rage. ~155cm (5'1") and light in build.  
><em>Wardrobe:<em> Usually favors indigo blue and golden and skirts ans short sleeved blouses, and sometimes wears bloomers and bike shorts instead of panties. Always carry a small stylized silver cross in her waist (With her M24 inside), and wrist-chains (that stores her Heaven & Hell Wings, see below).

**Personality/Description**:  
>She is somewhat between Aloof and easygoing when calm, and Tsundere(A) (specially towards Karin) or Anti-Pervert (only towards her), to Hot or Cold fury (if her family or friends are threatened for some reason). Can be somewhat of a sadist when pissed off (or PMSing, some said). Keiko plays harmlessdamsel in distress when fighting those who don't know her, and really hates perverts, thieves, and open perverts even more. Teasing a sore point of someone who carry weapons is never a sane thing.

_Loves: _Weapons and explosions!  
><em>Likes: <em>Cakes, sweets, and music  
><em>Dislikes:<em> Costumes or frilly clothes as well as restraining clothes, closet perverts  
><em>Detests: <em>When people underestimate her (though she'll usually play the role of an innocent when not in a battle), being teased about her relationship with Karin, having her weapons confiscated, open perverts (nobody knows why Karin still lives...)

**Pairings:  
><strong>Karin Emiya (Sekirei)

**Powers:**  
><span>Magic Circuit Activation Aria:<span>  
><em>—I imagine the gun within my soul, the hammer ready and waiting to be cocked. I pull it back, trigger it and let it release deep inside, flooding myself with prana. <strong>I<strong> am the gun,_ "Action open." _My **mind** is the shooter_, "Charge." _**Prana** is the shell_, "Load." _My **intent** is the trigger,_ "Fire!" _Od shoots through my circuits.—_

Basic Skills/Proficiencies:  
>Marksmanship, Weapon Crafting, Reinforcement, Runes<p>

Special Skills:  
>Projecting Rune Bullets, Jewel Crafting, Mana Burst.<p>

Finishing Skills:  
>Mana Break Bullets, Jewel Bullets<p>

_**Typical **_**Arsenal:**  
>• JTL-E .500 (pair)<br>• Smith & Wesson's 1911 Auto (pair) (Custom Black & White design, Upgraded calliber (.45 Winchester Magnum) Rune-treated barrel (designed to function as a rail gun and accelerate the bullets)) - Karin dubbed them 'Heaven & Hell Wings'  
>• Contender (Pistol, 30.06, chrome &amp; fiber finish, magically treated armor-piercing bullets, Thermal scope.)<br>• Pfeifer Zeliska (Zel did it, as a birthday present)  
>• M24 (.338 Lapua Magnum, 5 riffling Rune-treated barrel, Leupold Mark 4 6.5-20x50mm M5 scope, engraved metal finish including runes for reinforcement, expanded internal cartridge with 2 extra bullets, black seamless leather sling, built-in silencer with thermal sleeve)<br>• Browning Citori  
>• Various Grenades<p>

...

* * *

><p>...<strong><br>**

**Name (+creator):  
><strong>Koyuki Emiya _(throwaawy)_

**Age/Gender:  
><strong>13-f (School Days); 16-f (Nerima)

**Parent:  
><strong>Akitsu

**Appearance:**

_Physical: _160cm (5'3") 77b/56w/78h; shoulder-length grey-blue hair, grey eyes

_Wardrobe:_ Commonly wears t-shirts and shorts, with a vest or tank-top over the shirt; ankle-socks and slip-on shoes; chain-link bracelet on her left wrist. Her current 'battle' uniform adds rune-enhanced knee-high stockings, elbow pads, and fingerless gloves.

**Personality Tropes**:  
>Kuudere (Type 2); Spock Speak; I Want My Beloved to Be Happy; Determinator; An Ice PersonWeak But Skilled

**Description:  
><strong>Unfailingly polite for the most part, even to her own family. Is most comfortable around Akitsu, Karin, Keiko, Sakuya, and Shirou (in that order), not-coincidentally these are the family members most likely to provoke an extreme reaction from her. She's most comfortable being led around by her more outgoing siblings, but if she does find a goal she really does want to accomplish for herself, she will become the Determinator.

She is socially inept - by her own choice - and is not used to being out in the world without a member of her family to filter everything for her. She has a minor inferiority complex due to her lack of offensive abilities - especially compared to her mother. She is content to play the role of a support/defense class for her family, but quietly dreams of being a front-line combatant. She lacks the overarching thought process to be a good strategist, but has a good grasp of small-unit tactics and using her abilities for herding opponents.

Recently she has been undergoing rigorous training to improve her speed and agility in order to offset the large charge time her attacks require from her. Though her improvement is relatively small, she augments it with a set of rune-enhanced equipment Keiko and Uzume put together for her to further increase her speed closer to NWC levels.

_Likes: _Family, puppies, being useful, origami, ice cream, snow sculptures  
><em>Dislikes:<em> Strangers, sunny days, being useless, threats to her family or her Ashikabi

**Pairings:  
><strong>Ranma Saotome (Ashikabi, Ranma 1/2)

**Powers:**  
><em>Affinity: (normalenhanced)_  
>Snow – Rank B(A+)<br>Ice – Rank E(C+)

_Abilities:_  
><span>At-Wills:<span>  
><strong>Snow Adhesion:<br>**_passive - _Exactly What it Says on the Tin. Aids in snow collection, opponents who come into contact with the snow are slowed. Also very, very useful when making snow sculptures.

**Snow Manipulation: **Rank B(B+)**  
><strong>_minor action -_ Freeze moisture in the surrounding air into tiny ice particles and mass them into snow balls  
><em>standard action<em> - Range 10 (~15m). Telekinetically moves and propels any available snow (max volume roughly 5 cubic-meters). Opponents hit take damage and are slowed. During _Enhanced Mode_, freezing/icicle attacks are possible.

Special Attacks:  
><strong>Icicle Fall:<strong> (combination attack) – Rank B(A)  
><em>standard action - <em>Burst 1 (~1.5m across) within a 10m zone. Summons a large spread of snow across an area over the targeted area. An additional cold spell can freeze the snow into harder ice-crystals, which are then manipulated into saturating the targeted area with thousands of ice-blades. Dependent on a stronger ice spell to be available, or Koyuki to be in _Enhanced Mode_. Sometimes has a 'safe' zone the size of a bus. She's working on that. ⑨

**Storm Wall:** Rank C(B+) – _at initial cast_**  
><strong>_standard action _- Burst 3 (~4.5m) within a 10m zone. Summons a localized snow storm to encircle a target area. The storm lowers visibility both into and out of the area, opponents that cross the boundary take damage and are slowed. The storm will also absorb small projectiles and add them to its boundary, inflicting additional damage based on the object absorbed.  
><em>minor action - <em>The zone persists, power increases the longer the zone is maintained

Final Attacks:  
><strong>Enhanced Mode:<strong> (requires norito)  
><em>passive -<em> Koyuki's collection rate, speed, and power of her abilities are all increased. _Snow Adhesion_ has the possibility to prevent movement completely. She is able to utilize fully-realized ice spells and can cast _Icicle Fall_ at-will. _Storm Wall_'s AoE and damage increase.

**Arashi Nadare (Tempest Avalanche):** (requires norito, startup aria) – Rank A+  
><em>—"The Frozen Heavens hear my pledge  Inundate the foes of my Ashikabi"—  
>standard action -<em> Burst 10 (~15m) centered on Koyuki. Summons a wave of snow and ice spears from origin, pushing out. Ground-level opponents take damage from the snow, are knocked back, and knocked prone. Airborne opponents take damage from the ice and are knocked prone, taking additional fall damage. Using _Arashi Nadare _ends_ Enhanced Mode_, requiring an additional norito to recast.

...

* * *

><p>...<strong><br>**

**Name (+creator):**  
>Karin Emiya <em>(Mu-Sensei)<em>

**Age/Gender:  
><strong>12-f (School Days); 15-f (Nerima)

**Parent:  
><strong>Matsu

**Appearance:**  
><em>Physical: <em>152cm (5'0") 73b/54w/76h; red hair to mid-back length, usually braided into two tails; round wire-framed glasses

_Wardrobe:_ Pastel/white long-sleeved fitted shirts; sweatpants while at home or capris for outdoors; slippers for footwear

**Personality Tropes**:  
>GadgeteerGenius; LoveableSexManiac (PG-13 version...so far); TheNicknamer; PlayfulHacker; SkewedPriorities; TheSmartGirl<p>

**Description:  
><strong>Childish, she is very fond of teasing her family and muggles. She will generally refer to her family members either with the least-formal form of address (blah-chan) or give them a shortened nickname. To outsiders she will start from the nickname and downgrade into nonsense titles. Like her mother, she enjoys making innuendos in everyday conversation and making others squirm.

As one of the half-sekirei whose powers are least likely to be detected, she enjoys abusing the family's Secrecy Laws and regularly 'dives' into local digital networks – especially surveillance systems. She is not above gross acts of voyeurism or inciting other family members to do the same. She has a photographic memory, and on the occasions where it fails, she has continuous access to her own personal data 'cloud' on the networks.

_Likes: _Teasing, violent/suggestive movies, computers, giant mecha, family  
><em>Dislikes:<em> Physical activities, script-kiddies, lack of knowledge

**Pairings:  
><strong>Keiko Emiya (Ashikabi)

**Powers:**  
><em>Affinity:<em>  
>Digital Networks<br>Networked Machinery  
>Mechatronics<p>

_Abilities:_  
><span>At-Wills:<span>  
><strong>Network Access:<br>**_passive – _Can access her personal tabletPC (MBiPAD) and download/upload any information from or to it while it is within 1km from her position, or at an infinite distance so long as it is connected to a nearby network.  
><em>standard action –<em> Can remotely access any nearby network within 500m and download/upload/edit any information on it. Firewalls and encryptions can be broken (they're literally like puzzles for her) but use up more prana.

**Remote Control:  
><strong>_standard action –_ Actively manipulate a network's dataflow, directing or redirecting data packets in realtime; imposing her own firewalls or encryption protocols; or simply locking out further access to a specific network from outside intervention.  
><em>minormovement action –_ Must be sustained, Karin loses all physical mobility while _Remote Control_ is active.

Special Attacks:  
><strong>Mechatronic Access:<strong>  
><em>standard action – <em>Higher level of access, requires more prana to maintain. Can access a full range of mechanical, electrical, computer, software, and control networks/systems.

**Mechatronic Remote Control:  
><strong>_standard action –_ Actively manipulate any mechatronic systems in a similar manner to _Remote Control_, but now includes hardware controllers. Basically, she can control power switches, servos, electric motors...  
>(ex. if your car is computer controlled or connected to a network she can play GTA with it.)<br>_minor action/movement – _Must be sustained, she loses all physical mobility while _M. Remote Control _is active.

Final Attacks:  
><strong>Gradation Air (Trace):<strong>  
><em>standard action -<em> Only possible due to Karin's near-perfect memory. She requires a comprehensive set of blueprints for whatever she needs to trace, as well as a complete production history from the designers in order to properly sympathize with her target object. If she wishes to modify an existing object she would need those two requirements from every element she wished to combine together and formulate her own blueprints.

(ex. if she wanted to take a normal squirt gun and modify it to squirt glue, she would need both design history and blueprints for: 1) the gun, 2) the glue, and 3) probably a type of tubing that would not stick to the glue so it could even be fired)

It takes Karin several minutes to properly process all of the information in a manner suitable for projecting. _Gradation Air_ uses up half of her maximum prana reserves, more complex objects or higher quantities of objects require additional prana. If she does not have sufficient reserves by the time she finishes sympathizing her object, the trace will fail and burn through her remaining prana.

**Enhanced Mode:**_ (requires norito)  
>passive –<em> Reduces the prana cost for all of Karin's abilities to 25% of their original cost.

**Gradation Air (Enhanced)****:**_ (requires norito, startup aria)  
><em>—"Lights of my pledge, give me the means to protect my Ashikabi."—<em>  
>standard action – <em>Can summon powerful and complex devices for relatively little cost in prana, the limit of what she can do is a 5mt mech, but she can be rea~aly devious and summon exotic devices. _Gradation Air_ also ignores the limitation of needing to know everything about the device in question, allowing some imaginary, but reality-almost-possible stuff to be summoned. Using _Gradation Air (Enhanced)_ ends_ Enhanced Mode_.

_...  
><em>

* * *

><p>...<strong><br>**

**Name (+creator):  
><strong>Sakuya Emiya _(Mu-Sensei)_

**Age/Gender:  
><strong>12-f (School Days); 15-f (Nerima)

**Parent:  
><strong>Sakura

**Appearance:**  
><em>Physical: <em>151cm (4'11") 71b/52w/74h; shoulder-length purple hair

_Wardrobe:_ Pastel cardigan over a light shirt, knee-length skirt and outdoor slippers

**Personality Tropes**:  
><strong>CombatTentacles<strong>; Covert**Pervert**; GollumMadeMeDoIt; **LivingShadow**; PerpetualSmile; YamatoNadeshiko; **Yangire**

**Description:  
><strong>Sakuya aspires to be like her mother, Sakura. Calm, collected, the ideal feminine beauty. The only problem is herself. She inherited her mother's Elemental Affinity of _Imaginary Numbers_ and control over the ether. Unfortunately, Sakura's body was so ravaged by the Matou Clan's Angra Mainyu tainted worms, that when Sakuya was born she was found to have absorbed some of this corruption. This gives Sakuya control over the _Shadow_ element, capable of manifesting her shadows in the material world in the form of tentacles and creatures capable of limited autonomy.

The downside is that Angra Mainyu also manifested itself as a literal split personality in her psyche. As her initial caretaker, Gilgamesh nicknamed her Yin and Yang.

_**Yin**_– The Shadow, is cruel and sadistic. She enjoys embarrassing her host greatly, often engaging in rampant perversions and other means of inflicting pain on others. She's generally the dominant personality during a fight, or if Yang begins thinking anything remotely romantic.

_Yang_ – The Light, is shy, delicate, and good-natured. She strives to be in constant control of herself to keep Yin from taking over, trying to mold her personality as close as she can to her mother's. Yin's constant pressure on her sometime starts her thinking slightly perverted thoughts, which makes it easier for Yin to take over as the dominant personality, and Karin _really_ is no help in that regard.

_Likes: _Family, sports, cooking, **boys**, brightly lit places, **shadowy places**, helping people, **tormenting people**, friends, **boys**  
><em>Dislikes:<em> Bullies, perverted people, shadowy places, **bright lights**, Yin, **disregard that I'm awesome**

**Pairings:  
><strong>_N/A_

**Powers:**  
><em>Affinity:<em>  
>Imaginary Numbers<br>Shadows

_Abilities:_  
><span>At-Wills:<span>  
><strong>Spontaneous Regeneration:<br>**_passive – _Allows recovery from debilitating wounds within minutes. Mortal wounds will still kill her, but even minor medical treatments are significantly more effective on her. Side effect of Angra Mainyu's possession.

**Shadow Tentacles:  
><strong>_standard action –_Range 3 (~4.5m) Summons shadows to pierce, ensnare, or bludgeon opponents – or all three at once. Opponents ensnared take a -5 penalty for escape rolls.

Special Attacks:  
><strong>Shadow Illusion:<strong>  
><em>standard action – <em>Burst 3 (~4.5-5m diameter) Requires a shaded area. Creates a bounded field which hides anything inside in the shadows. Anything within the zone is immune to visual, auditory, or magical detection, but can still be hit by physical or magical attacks. Anything not in the field at the time of casting can enter the zone, but will not be concealed by it. Anyone inside the zone can leave concealment at any time.  
><em>minor action – <em>The zone persists.

**Summon Creature:  
><strong>_standard action –_ Spawns a semi-autonomous creature created from the ether and gives it physical form using her Shadows. Creatures are limited to traveling no farther than 20m from her position and are only capable of basic physical attacks. Multiple simple creatures can be summoned, or few large/complicated ones.  
><em>minor actionmovement – _All creatures persist.

Final Attacks:**  
>Corruption:<br>**_standard action – _Range 3 (~4.5m) Injects a portion of Angra Manyu via prana-infused blood inside a target either corrupting and putting it at her service for a limited amount of time, or destroying inside-out. Sakuya also takes feedback damage for 80% of her remaining health, incapacitating her for a brief period.

...

* * *

><p>...<strong><br>**

**Name (+creator):  
><strong>Reiko Emiya _(shadowzerover5)  
><em>Eiko Emiya_  
><em>

**Age/Gender:  
><strong>6/7-f (School Days); +600-f (Origins!timeline)

**Parent:  
><strong>Karasuba

**Appearance:**  
><span>Child (Reiko)<span>  
><em>Physical: <em>98cm (3'3"), Ash blond hair and gold eyes, Sekirei crest on her forehead hidden by long bangs  
><em>Wardrobe:<em> Black Goth Loli with suspiciously flesh like rag-doll about the size of half her body.

Adult (Eiko)  
><em>Physical: <em>160cm (5'3"), 80b/55w/78h Waist length ash blonde hair, Half-lidded golden eyes that seems to see something beyond mundane, Sekirei crest displayed proudly on forehead_  
>Wardrobe:<em> Bare-shoulder battle dress/Goth loli with armor plates inspired by Saber's own armor.

**Personality Tropes**:  
>Trademark Favorite Food (pudding), Creepy Doll, The Quiet One, Beware The Quiet Ones, The Unintelligible<p>

**Description:  
><strong>She is expressive but quiet, very quiet and often mumbles her words into her doll. Shirou, Gil and Karasuba understands her words due to practice while Arika seems to understood her immediately. Stares at the night sky often. Even given the gift of foresight, Reiko often gets into trouble when she tries to "help" out. While being perfectly fine afterwards, the same cannot be said to the victims of her well meaning actions.

Being Scrapped at such an early age, had a severe effect on her personality. As the feeling of utter emptiness is something a child cannot comprehend or understand, she became severely withdrawn to those she did not personally know. She also craves attention to the point that it will cause her physical harm if she is not careful. This will turn into a somewhat boon later on in life as it allowed her to keep a level head in almost any situation.

Her powers are great and as she grows she will develop physical skills to augment her lack of control over them. Aspires to be like her mother when she grows older but her powers limit her role in combat till she gets better control of them till then her role is scout and transport, provided that she can get the coordinates right. Her visions are random and is active when she is awake which is why she prefers to stay asleep.

As of 'recent', future!Reiko succeeded in preventing her grimdark!Origins future from coming to pass, at the cost of not being able to return to it. She remains in the current!NewFate timeline, taking on the name 'Eiko' to reduce confusion amongst her family.

_Likes: _Pudding, playing with Gil and Shinra, sitting in Shirou's lap to nap, going rides with Primy and torturing the Kaleidostick (Rin: _"Karma is sooo sweet..."_) Among her siblings she is closets to Shinra, Arika and Kyon, her Crest, Her older/younger self._  
>Dislikes:<em> Denied pudding, Cosmic Horrors, Zombies, her Crest

**Pairings:  
><strong>n/a

****Powers:****_ (child/adult)_**  
>Time Manipulation<strong> – Rank C(EX)  
>God like level of control over the power of Time to a degree that Space, its closest companion, can be manipulated to a lesser degree. But her powers are hard to control so its appreciable rank is lower than its true rank. At this level, it grants Agelessness, Clairvoyance, Spatial Distortions, Time Reversal, Time Travel, Loop Effect, Tesseract Creation etc.<p>

**Weaponry:  
>Sankakukankei – <strong>Rank B(A+)  
>A sword crafted by Emiya Shirou to control his daughter's powers. Appears as a dull edge nodachi made of a gem crafted from the powers of the Second Magic and covered in silver lines along the length of the blade; They are runes the size of a hairs width.<p>

_Neutral: _Allows the user to accelerate and decelerate local time around him. Increasing speed and reaction time by two ranks. Reiko is unable to use this ability due to the blade exerting its more powerful abilities over the world

_First Corner: Kagizaki (Tear)_ – In Reiko's hands, it can invoke an unblockable edge made from by warping space upon contact. This also make the blade selective and only cut the target and nothing else. Cannot be used in conjunction with the other corners.

_Second Corner: Taru (Suspend) _– Isolates its wielder in a separate time frame mimicking Avalon but does not grant absolute immunity the sheathe has. The barrier can be broken but it will be very difficult to do so. Reiko cannot move while this is active, barrier size is dependent on amount of prana infused. Cannot be used in conjunction with the other corners.

_Third Corner: Fuuin (Seal) _– Its most terrifying ability. Functions almost like a curse. Allows Reiko to turn an instantaneously fatal blow into slow lingering death by isolating the target in mini tesseract slowing the passage of time while keeping the targets perception of time normal turning seconds into days or years or centuries.


	2. F:SD 01

**Fate/School Days - 01**

* * *

><p>"Fufufufu~ middle school at last," Karin proclaimed. "I can finally work on achieving one of my life's ambitions!"<p>

Her bluenette of a sister looked at her askance as they entered their homeroom. "Which one is this?," Koyuki asked.

"Yuki, I'm hurt you don't remember!" the redhead cried. "It's always been my dream to become the Class President!"

"Ohayo, Emiya-san, Emiya-san," a boy near the front desks greeted each of them in turn. "We're in the same class again!"

"Hello hello, Nameless Extra #4!" Karin returned cheerfully.

"When will she ever remember my name..." came the grumbled reply.

"Sato-kun," Koyuki inclined her head at the boy politely, then returned her attention to her sister. "...Why Class President? I acknowledge that you are definitely one of the most intelligent students of our age group. However, your treatment of our fellow classmates is... ah... lacking."

Karin's glasses reflected the light, which somehow cast her face in shadow as she continued chuckling. She shook her head slowly, "Yuki, I'm disappointed in you. It is a well documented fact (in certain anime/manga) that boys can never resist bringing in to school their *special* magazines and DVDs to trade with their friends. As Class President the duty falls to me to save their minds from such things and confiscate them for an indeterminable period!"

The normally stoic snow girl couldn't help but take a step back as her sister continued chuckling as she continued, "And it's an excellent way for me to start collecting the research material mother still won't let me look at..."

Nameless Extra's #1-5, all coincidentally their repeat classmates from elementary school, nervously stared at each other as the younger Emiya's laughing turned from the vaguely troubling to the downright disturbing kind. It was probably a trick of the light, but somehow a small area in the back of the heads had suddenly turned reflective and... blueish.

* * *

><p>"Koyuki-chan!"<p>

Koyuki paused in the hallway and turned back the way she had come. A short girl with her brown hair cut to her jawline smiled as she stopped in front of her. "Kaori-san," she greeted.

Kaori Aida, aka Nameless Extra #7, grinned shyly back at her. "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to get into the same class as you, Koyuki-chan! I'll make sure to work harder next year so we can be together!"

Koyuki blinked slowly. "I am not so sure that is how the system works, Kaori-san," she said evenly. "I believe the homeroom classes are divided up mostly by chance the initial year. Our teachers would have more of an influence on the following years beyond that, but I do not think we as students have much to do with that."

The other girl maintained her earnest expression. "Still, I'm very sorry I can't be with you this year! But-!" she whipped her arms from behind her back to display the two bentos she had stacked on each other. "Perhaps you can forgive me if... we... ate lunch together? I happened to make a bit extra today!"

_And every school day for the past year_, Koyuki mused as she regarded the girl with the same even expression. She really was too careless in measuring out her ingredients for the day. Shirou-tousan would never have made such a novice mistake. Even Gil-jisan would throw a fit if he'd ever caught one of them wasting food in that manner. "As always, I am afraid I must decline today," she bowed as she displayed her own packed bento. "I already possess sufficient rations for the lunch period and would not be able to consume beyond this much. In addition, I have been tasked by my sister to locate our siblings and have tarried too long already."

Kaori's expression didn't exactly change. She had more or less expected this anyhow, but somehow her smile became somewhat weaker. "I-I see. Sorry to have bothered you!" She bowed low and scampered back down the hall. "I'll see you later, Koyuki-chan!"

Koyuki waited a few beats before she turned back the way she had been heading, and wasn't too surprised when she found her three siblings standing right before her with large grins plastered onto their faces. "Sisters," she greeted. "Shall we eat?"

"Oh we will, Koyuki-chan~" Keiko stretched out the last syllable, sounding eerily like the girl who had just departed.

"Maa~ Koyuki is so lucky to have a friend who thinks so highly of her," Sakuya said happily. Her smile remained the same but somehow grew much darker, more ominous. **"So *very* highly of her**," she continued, her tone now somehow sending shivers down the snow-girl's spine.

Koyuki stared between the three blankly. "What?"

"No~othing," Karin chimed, absolutely the picture of innocence. "We don't mean a~anything by that, 'Yuki." She spun on her heel and marched down the hall towards the cafeteria. "Lunch?"


	3. F:SD 02

**Fate/School Days - 02**

* * *

><p>Seven children walked through the gates of the local middle school. They bantered back and forth with each other, talking of their classes for the day, clubs and activities they had planned, etc.<p>

"Science test today," Aoshi complained. "Sensei is being a real jerk this week. I'm so not ready!"

"You'd probably be more prepared if you hadn't spent all night playing your console games," Sakuya remarked.

"Aoshi never takes his studies seriously," Keiko said, holding her hand in the traditional Tohsaka lecture pose. "I could count the number of times he's actually opened a book on half a hand."

"I study more than that!" came the retort. "More than you, I'll bet!"

Keiko angled her hand towards him, unfolding her fingers into the universal pantomime of a handgun. "I'll hold you to that wager."

"Nevermind."

"Speaking of tests, I have to go see Haru-kun about yesterday's math notes," piped up Fuuko. She inclined her head in thought. "...and Yoshi-kun for science notes, and Taka-kun for classics..." She began ticking points off her fingers as mulled.

Koyuki made a soft querying noise from her position in the back.

"She ditched after lunch yesterday," Karin said, interpreting her question. "Went off to see a high schooler~"

"Oh?" said the other meganekko among them. Riko adjusted her glasses, a new idea for a prank already forming in her mind. "Anybody we know?"

"I can find out," Karin answered. Her own glasses were starting to fog up as well. The rest of the siblings quickly moved to put space between the two as they huddled together with whispers and ominous giggles.

"...Junpei-kun for english class," Fuuko continued on, obliviously.

* * *

><p>The group made their way into the shoe-locker room and split up to their grades' sections. Fuuko meandered on towards the third-years while Aoshi moved towards the second-year area. Riko followed him after a few final words with Karin, who rejoined the remaining first years at their respective block.<p>

"Do we want to know?" Keiko asked.

Karin's glasses were still fogged up as she stared at her sister. "I don't know, do you? Fufufu~"

"**I'd like to know,**" Sakuya said absently as she pulled out her school shoes. She paused as she heard the giggles and blushed. "Don't! I don't want to!"

"If it includes Riko-nee, I would be interested to know," Koyuki said. She was very partial to her older sister ever since she'd loudly made it known that winter sports were the best thing ever invented by mankind. She listened carefully as Karin whispered into her ear. To any students looking on she was as impassive as ever. To her siblings who could read her far better, she had gone wide-eyed. "I...see. I will now ask to be left out."

"**Now I really want to know,**" Sakuya moaned. Her eyes suddenly widened. "NO. I. DON'T!" She started banging her head against her locker.

Keiko, in the meantime, was looking over her locker with a critical eye. With a sigh, she reached in and pulled out a small envelope with a distasteful expression. "Fuuko will never let me hear the end of this," she groaned. "Not after I teased her about her boy toys the other day."

Sakuya leaned over her shoulder to try to peek at the handwriting on the envelope, only to be batted away by an irritable hand. "Think of it this way," she said as she tried to maneuver around the obstacle. "You can claim another point over Rin-kaasan. I'm guessing Saburo-kun," she concluded as she leaned back.

Keiko gave her the evil eye as she renewed her own inspection of the note. "Won't work. Mother already said she was her own school's idol. In fact, with Fuuko here at the same time, I'll probably be a year late on her scoreboard. I say Takeshi-kun."

"I can find out~" Karin chimed in. Keiko and Sakuya both perked up while somewhere in the distance, a security camera whirred to life.

"Father," Koyuki said simply. The other three slumped at the reminder and the sound faded off.

"Spoilsport," the redhead sighed.

* * *

><p>Later that day...<p>

Six children peeked around the corner of the school's gym equipment building where they found their seventh number marching back and forth along the grounds.

"She's not...?"

"She is..."

"..._really?_"

Keiko wasn't pacing. She was striding in a precise sequence of loops and arcs, stopping at near-random points to plant a hand against the ground. To an outsider she was nervously plucking at the grass and mumbling to herself. To her magically inclined family...

"Is she *warding* the meeting spot?"


	4. F:SD Sidestory 01  Koyuki

**Fate/School Days - Sidestory 1: Koyuki**

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful summer day. The sun was high, cicadas were chirping, not a cloud to be seen for miles.<p>

It was the worst day in my life.

The day had started out well, I woke up in the room I shared with Karin-imouto, hopped over her empty bed to use the necessary since the floor was taken up with various laptops and tablets. If my sister ever slept, I have never been witness to it. Once I left the bathing room I headed down to the primary kitchen room to break my fast, but I paused at the entryway. It was completely empty.

This had never happened before, Father had always made it a point to wake up before the rest of the family in order to make breakfast. It was a matter of pride for him, even Gil-ojisan was unable to beat him to the kitchen. Even if those two were away for some odd reason, Miya-kaasan would usually step in to take over. The fact that none of the three were present was... troubling.

I took a moment to consider the previous night's events, making sure I had not missed any family making plans for a trip away. Finding no such recollections in my memories, I moved on to remembering my family's usual morning habits and plotted out the most likely rooms they would be in given the calendar date. I turned to head towards the master bedroom.

As I ascended the stairs, a sense of unease began to grip me. Karin-imouto was very fond of forcing me to watch various horror films; while I would never let her force a reaction from myself, it was always the movies which took their time to build up the tension that affected me the most. My anxiety was not lessened in the least as I approached Father's bedroom and heard voices and saw light spilling from the open doorway. There were several voices, all of them keeping low to avoid waking the rest of the house and I picked up my pace slightly.

"The brat's found us," Gil-ojisan was the first to notice me as I let myself into the room. Miya, Rin, Matsu, and Chiho-kaasans all turned towards me and began talking animatedly. One of them was saying soothing words while she came up to me, to hug me or turn me away, but I pushed around her and headed for the bed.

The small table next to it held a bag with the imagery of the local grocer, a small pile of obviously brand new bottles spilling out. Father was in a chair beside it, holding the hand of the woman laid out under the covers. She was pale, more than usual, and her face was wet with sweat. A cold towel was pressed against her forehead, but it slipped off as she turned to look at me.

No, this wasn't happening. This *never* happened. Maybe to the others, but never *us*. I was smart enough to recognize the signs, It wasn't anything dangerous, but it was still unexpected, world-shattering even.

The woman on the bed looked at me with shadowed eyes, "Koyuki...," she whispered.

The room went blurry as disbelieving tears welled up in my eyes. "Mother," I gasped out.

My mother, the Sekirei of Ice, had a cold.

My day went downhill from there.


	5. F:SD Sidestory 01  Karin

**Fate/School Days Sidestory 2: Karin**

* * *

><p>Class just wasn't the same without 'Yuki around. Oh the other students were all very interesting in their own ways, but there was none of the challenge in getting a reaction out of a literal kuudere that only my sister could provide. Or her Mother. But Akitsu-kaachan is Mommy's responsibility.<p>

Yuki staying at home off to care for her sick mother somewhat made sense. Daddy couldn't take the day off, he was just too crucial for his job. Many of the other kaachans had their own duties to take care of. But where did that leave me?

Bored. Absolutely bored out of my mind.

Sensei was busy pointing out the finer points to a mathematical question that would have been solved in just a few derivative calculations rather than this algebraic he insisted on using. I felt safe in tuning him out while I mentally connected with the camera setup in Class 3. Keiko's class was having their own lecture in chemistry, and I could tell from the view that she was finding it equally dull, more so perhaps since none of the compounds being discussed could explode in any satisfying manner.

I extracted my consciousness from the school's surveillance system and regarded the small monitor built into my desk. MBI's communications technology had grown by leaps and bounds over the decade and microPCs were now pretty standard fare in the classroom. As I watched, the image on the monitor changed to reflect the theorem behind the calculations Sensei wanted us to discuss, and comments began to pop up along the side as the class posted their interpretations. I scribbled my own contribution onto the screen using the provided stylus and then dived back into the system.

In addition to networking the student's computers with their teachers, the school network also provided a rudimentary mail/chat system so public notices and club announcements could be circulated. Naturally student's also tended to use them to pass along notes of a more personal nature, but what the majority never seemed to understand was that everything that went through it was logged and monitored on a weekly basis.

Well, everything that went through the normal channels. For me it was child's play to circumvent the whole thing and simply take control of any particular machine, but I usually limited myself to dodging the whole transmission loggers.

I found myself in Keiko's desk as she scribbled down various doodles in her notebook program. Taking control of my own virtual pen i scribbled onto her screen.

_Keiko-chaaaan~_

There was a slight pause as the user reacted to the unexpected interaction before another word scribbled its way into existence beside my own. "Bored?"

_Booo~oored~_

"Do you even need to *write* like that?"

_Yes._ The advantage of writing directly like this was as far as the system was concerned, Keiko was more or less taking notes by herself. The notebook program didn't use any transmissions of any sort and thusly this was a completely untraceable way to communicate with each other. Assuming nobody was looking over her shoulder at least.

"What do you have this period?"

_Math._

"That sounds quite dull."

_=(_

"Are you sure your teacher isn't going to call on you to answer a problem?"

_O.o; ...wait one._

I pulled enough of myself back to pay enough attention to my physical sight and hearing, to find three other students at the front solving the problems Sensei had placed up there. I dived back in.

_Nah, I'm good. How's chemistry?_

"How did you... never mind, I don't know why I keep getting surprised. What's Sakuya up to?"

Mm... let me see~

Another few moments, I had to split off a full quarter of my consciousness for this dive to find our sibling in Classics, watching a period documentary about the Second World War. Her class seemed to spend the time scribbling out their comments that would scroll along the bottom of the screen. Sometimes during a particularly interesting scene the comment section would flood with text, making the whole thing unreadable. Sakuya herself seemed to be holding two pens and jotting down comments ranging from the unremarkable to the incendiary.

_She's fine,_ I noted back at Keiko's desk. _Her class is watching the History Channel or something._

"Lucky her."

_Are we doing anything for 'Yuki after school?_

There was a slight pause as her sister thought about it. "I think Riko and Aoshi will want to head back right away. Sakuya and Fuuko don't have any plans as far as I know, but knowing Fuuko she might have something going on..."

_...and you~u?_

"...I might... have... something... to do..."

_:D Should I be starting a search through your inbox, sister?_

"You do and you're so dead."

_Would you even know?_

"You just told me."

_...right. =(_

I noticed the timekeeping program in the corner of my awareness and saw that class had about five minutes to go before the bell rang. I said as much to Keiko so we could both recenter ourselves. Literally for me. I collected my consciousness from the various networks I had infiltrated and pulled myself back into my body. No one was the wiser, to the outside world my body was merely studiously, continuously taking notes. I had the grades to match so Sensei never had any cause to suspect.

I did notice the last portion of class had been set for a pop quiz, but with five minutes to go I had all the time in the world. After a brief glance at the problems on my screen I took the time to scribble down the answers, and enough work using plain, boring algebra so as not to give Sensei any reason to suspect. The remaining time I used to quietly hack into Sensei's lecture notes and slides, and copied them directly into Yuki's desk so she would find them the next day she came to class. After that it was a long four minutes waiting for the bell to ring with the promise of freedom.


	6. F:SD 03

_(a/n) - here is where i made the decision to drop everybody's age a few years, one because i didn't want to screw with my own continuity to fit in some of the craziness other omake writers were doing for their own works, so this takes place "earlier." two, i wanted to drop the age for the elementary school group to insert some chars from a manga i've been using to get into the childish mindset (and even then i probably failed). brownie points to whoever gets it._

**Fate/School Days - 03**

* * *

><p>Shinta had just left for the second year area when Kumako's ahoge bobbed excitedly.<p>

"More kids are coming!" she cried. The hyperactive girl bounced around happily in her old preschool uniform which still fit even after a year's worth of growing.

"Kumako... school," said the quiet girl by her side. Reiko had her bangs trimmed to a hime-cut, hiding the crest which had caused her so much grief in preschool the previous year.

"Yes," said Gekkou from her other side. "School is for us kids, there's obviously more than just us coming here."

"Oi~" a loud voice called from the gated area. "Is this the place for the first-graders?" A messy haired boy with smudges on his face walked through the gate like he owned the place, followed by a girl with long, light brown hair.

Kumako was over by the two in a flash, which caused the newly arrived boy fall backwards in surprise. "Hello! My name's Kumako! Who are you?"

The boy blinked up at her. "Kouki," he said from the ground. He settled in, unfazed by the dirt he was smudging all over himself and jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards his companion. "This is Rin."

The other girl waved shyly.

Kumako threw her hands into the air, "Yay! New **friends** already!" Equally heedless of the dirt, she reached down to grab Kouki's hands and hauled him up to his feet with seemingly little effort. She spun around and pointed towards the two now walking over at a more normal pace. "That's my brother, Gekkou and my sister, Reiko! Gekkou! Reiko! **FRIENDS**!" she concluded.

Rin slid to put herself between Kouki and the hyper brunette, but faced the other two. "H-hello."

Gekkou put a hand on his hip and the other rested against his chest as he took a pose he'd seen his mother do far too often. "I will gra... gracio... I will let you be my friends!" he proclaimed.

Reiko simply waved.

Kouki stared between the three, brunette, blonde, and ashen-blonde. "You're all related? You don't look very much alike."

"We all have different Mamas," Kumako said easily. "Our Papa is the same though."

Kouki's face took on a look of distaste. "Divorce?"

Gekkou looked offended, "Of course not! Father loves Mother very much!"

Reiko looked down and wordlessly shook her head.

Kumako simply looked confused.

"What's divorce?"

* * *

><p>A few childish explanations later...<p>

"Thats! Just! So! SAD!" Kumako bawled. "Why would your Papa leave your Mama?"

Kouki shrugged, "Beats me. But I hate him for it."

"I confess I don't understand why that would happen either," Gekkou said grumpily. "I could never see Father leaving Mother like that... nor would I think she'd let him..."

Rin jumped as she felt a sudden tug on her sleeve. She turned to see the goth-loli staring at her intently. "Y-yes?" she squeaked.

"Parents?" Reiko asked.

"Huh?"

"She wants to know what about your parents," Gekkou interpreted for her.

"Oh, I... don't know who my mom is," she said sadly.

"What about your Papa?"

"My daddy is grandpa," Rin replied matter-of-factly.

Kumako paused at that. "Huh?"

"I don't know the whole thing, but Rin's dad is dead," Kouki said. "She's got Daikichi, though!"

"I see!" Gekkou dropped a fist into an open palm. "Your dad died and is with your grandpa now... and this Daikichi is your stepdad!"

Rin shook her head. "No, grandpa is my daddy. Daikichi is Daikichi."

There was a pause...

"Your family is weird," Kumako concluded. The other two nodded.

* * *

><p><em>(an) - if you haven't heard of it, the series is 'Usagi Drop' by Yumi Unita. i'd leave you hanging some more if i didn't drop the name of every major character in the series. as it is, if you really didn't guess just google most of the names and you'll probably find it... im horrible at puzzles._


	7. F:SD Sidestory 01  Sakuya

**Fate/School Days - Sidestory 3: Sakuya**

* * *

><p>I hate Physical Education.<p>

It wasn't that I was not capable; you won't find any child of the Emiya Clan who wasn't physically active to some extent. Even Karin, computer nerd that she is, could keep up with the upper range our class. It wasn't that I didn't like the uniforms, though I did feel they didn't have to be quite as tight as their designers made them out to be. It wasn't even having to put up with the attention of the boys from the far side of the field. They were annoying to be sure, but Fuuko and Keiko seemed to like the attention and I wouldn't begrudge my sisters anything. Even if I didn't share their attraction for sweaty, filthy boys trying to act all macho to impress giggling schoolgirls.

**They're pretty hot, though. Especially when they're sweaty.**

...No, I hated PE because I had to deal with *her*.

'Yin and Yang', Uncle Gil called us. Karin called her my 'True Self,' for which I'd have to smack her. Most of my normal friends thought I had a very odd case of Tourette's. The sad truth was I had a very active subconscious. A very *strong*, very active subconsciousness.

**But you love me anyway.**

I don't remember when I started seeing her as a distinct entity from my own. I do remember shortly after I started acting out, Mother took me to the side to try to explain it to me. Apparently a long time ago, a young Sakura Matou had been possessed by an Evil Shadow who also made her act out and gave her horrific powers to match. Fortunately Father was able to save her. He wasn't able to exorcise the Shadow, Angra Mainyu, from her, but he did help her control her impulses. When I asked what her Shadow had made her do, Mother just blushed and told me 'Bad Things'.

**Amongst other things~. Have you ever noticed when the other kaa-sans talk about Mother's 'Time of the Month', they aren't talking about the usual kind?**

Apparently some portion of the Shadow had done something physically or genetically to Mother's body, because when I was born I inherited some of It. Yin's presence gave me some control over shadows themselves, kind of like that guy from the anime that came out a while back. Except while he was limited to naturally created shadows to bind his opponents, I could manifest my own from a boundary space.

**We don't need to wait until after dark! Happy, kinky, bondage time, 24/7!**

She was also a major pervert. Although to be quite honest, I'm still not sure how she compares to Matsu-kaasan and Karin.

Scary, I know.

* * *

><p>Physical Education for the day was merely running laps around the track. Once we'd gotten through that we were encouraged to walk around to cool off, though some simply collapsed on the grass off to the side.<p>

"Sakuya-chan!"

I turned and smiled demurely at the girl jogging up to me. "Saori-chan! How did you do?" We both continued along the track at a leisurely walking pace.

Saori _hehe_'d and puffed out her chest proudly. "I got in two more laps than my previous best! I'm improving!"

**Yeah you are,** Yin said as I involuntarily eyed the way her chest bounced with the motion. My Shadow is an equal opportunity pervert.

Saori suddenly blushed and looked off to the side.

Oh _crap_, I just said that out loud, didn't I?

"I-I mean your running!" I stammered out. I waved my hands in a placating gesture. "I mean, I actually did worse today, I was short by a lap from my usual."

Saori still took a few extra steps to place her slightly in front of me before turning to look over her shoulder. "That's because you're always thinking too much, Sakuya-chan. You've always got your head in the clouds."

**Or in the the gutter.**

I paused a few moments to make sure nothing had escaped my lips before i responded. "I've had a lot on my mind."

"Hmm?" Saori looked thoughtful, before a cat's grin grew on her face. "Is it a boy?"

**Yes.** "No! Nothing like that!" A boy, no. Lot's of boys? Unfortunately. Damn Yin.

She looked unconvinced, though. Rounding the corner she looked to the side towards the far end of the field. "Hey, the boys are playing soccer, let's go watch!"

**Woo-hoo! Hot, sweaty boys time!** My body suddenly jerked and I involuntarily took a shaky step after her.

"Um, okay."

I _really_ hated P.E.


	8. F:SD 04

**Fate/School Days - 04**

* * *

><p>Gekkou had decided he liked this school. The teachers always praised him, either for his neat hand when writing out the alphabet or for his very mature manners. He knew he had Mother to thank for that. Tsukiumi-kaasan would never let any child of hers grow up without proper manners and a sense of propriety.<p>

It probably also helped that his teacher had Kumako and that uncouth Kouki Nitani to compare to. Both of them were messy, hyper, and unruly to a fault. He expected that from his sister, any child of Musubi-kaasan was a little odd - even Shinta-niisan to a degree. But that boy was not just oblivious, he was actively acting against the teacher's wishes!

Gekkou didn't quite like Kouki so much.

It sometimes made Gekkou worried about Reiko, forced into the other first-grade class with the boy's companion, that Rin Kaga. If the boy was this bad, what would his friend be like? He knew his little sister was nervous around strangers and he was worried about her being by herself without the security of her siblings.

The whole grade was out by the school's flowerbeds for their "Life Class". Each student had been given a large artboard and colored pencils and they were told to draw the morning glories. Peeking around his own board, Gekkou looked around for his siblings. Kumako wasn't hard to find, her ahoge bobbed excitedly as she made a very colorful mess across her paper.

Over by the other end of the field, Reiko's black dress stood out starkly against the other girls' light pastel clothes. She was drawing slowly, carefully from what he could see. Rin was just next to her, concentrating on her own sketching. Gekkou had quickly learned that the quietness Rin had displayed when they first met was just the usual shyness of anyone meeting new people, as opposed to Reiko's habitual reservedness. She seemed to get along well with the other girls, and she seemed nice enough with Reiko.

A loud shout suddenly drew his attention and he looked back to find Kouki being chased by their teacher. A group of boys from a third class had apparently finished and were playing around, and it seemed Kouki had decided to ditch and join them. Reiko's teacher joined in the chase and soon it became a wandering melee of squealing children running around the two adults.

Such a barbaric display, Gekkou decided as he turned back to his sketch. Something in him twinged and he absently he reached out an arm to grab Kumako and keep her from joining in.

There was a sudden commotion from Reiko's direction and he looked up again to find Rin marching over. Several girls girls were belatedly calling out for her to come back; Reiko hugging her doll to herself tightly in silence. The whole grade not involved in the melee watched silently as Rin disappeared into the mob and came back out holding Kouki by his ear shouting something as she dragged him. From their distance they couldn't hear what was being said, but everybody was surprised to see the boy suddenly stop fighting and wordlessly head back to his fallen art board. The rest of the boys and teachers were frozen in place as the girl went back to her own board and resumed drawing without a word.

_What in the world?_ Gekkou thought.

* * *

><p>He saw them again after school, while waiting to be picked up. Reiko was talking quietly with Rin as he walked up with Kumako in tow.<p>

"Isn't he scary?" his sister was saying. "Ignores... teachers... always... mad... Rin-chan... bullied."

"Eh?" The other girl seemed to understand the disjointed sentence, which surprised Gekkou even more. She waved her hands frantically, "No! No, he's not like that! He's really not like that!"

Reiko seemed unconvinced, judging by how she hid herself behind her doll.

"I went to the same preschool as Kouki-kun after all," Rin continued. "Kouki-kun has never once been scary..."

"He looks FUN!" Kumako jumped into the conversation, both figuratively and literally. "I want to spar with him!"

Gekkou looked pained. "Kumako, no fighting..." he said with a dull tone born of constant repetition. He turned to the other girl. "I am surprised, though, Kouki-kun never listens to our teacher."

"She's just boring," said the boy now walking out of the building. "All the other kids were doing it first, I don't see why that hag had to pick on me."

"Kouki-kun!" Rin warned. The unruly youth waved his arms in a dismissing gesture but dropped the topic. "Who are we meeting today?" he asked instead.

Rin and Kouki's parents both were single adults who worked somewhat late, so they usually stayed in the afterschool daycare. Usually one of their mothers would come by to pick them up, typically Musubi-kaasan or Tsukiumi-kaasan. On occasion Arturia-kaasan or even Gil-ojisan stopped by, but those were rarer occasions.

"Hm, I don't remember who Mother said was coming this afternoon," Gekkou mused. He looked over at Kumako, who's antennae-like hair had suddenly shot up. "But whoever it is, I think they're here."

"Hey, brats," a tall-blond teen stepped through the gates. "I'm picking you up today. Some family meeting came up for the moms and I drew the short straw." Green eyes looked around the field, "Where's Shinta?"

"Arika-nee!" Kumako squealed. "Shinta's still inside somewhere, but have you met our new **friends?**"

Arika Emiya made as if to answer when she was suddenly tackled by a black blur, "Not ye-Oh! Hey Reiko."

The black-clad girl simply dug her face deeper into her sister's side.

Kumako would not be denied when it came to **friends**. She waved towards the other two, "That's Kouki. He's a **friend!** And and... where'd Rin go?"

"She's hiding behind me," Kouki said, completely unsurprised at his own friend's reaction whenever she met a new person. ("She's another **friend!**") "So is this another one of your mothers?" he asked. He'd still not gotten over just how many parents the Emiya clan seemed to claim as their own.

Arika twitched.

Reiko froze.

Gekkou shook his head, wide-eyed, "Ah, no she's our older sis-"

"**What. Did. You. Call. Me?**" the eldest Emiya daughter hissed. "Do I *look* old enough to be their Mom?"

Kouki looked around nervously as the air temperature seemed to rise for no reason. At Kumako and Gekkou who were frantically shaking their heads 'no.' He looked for Reiko who had suddenly disappeared from her sister's side. Back at the person in question and... was that lightning crackling around her?

Still, the only adult who deserved to be listened to was Daikichi, because he was cool like that. And... maybe his mom. He met her stare evenly and shrugged. "Maybe."

The air suddenly grew a quality that implied imminent explosion, and he had the very bad feeling he was sitting at ground zero.

Reiko, meanwhile, had dashed back over to Rin who was cowering behind Kumako now, a safe distance away. She pulled on her sleeve until the brunette looked at her with wide eyes. "Wha-?"

"Stop him," Reiko pleaded. "Arika-nee... mad... very bad. Kouki... quiet... _now_..."

"Ah..." wide eyes turned towards her childhood friend who was still standing resolutely with a scowl on his face. She looked back at Arika, if she didn't know any better she'd think her hair was starting to crackle with static... or something. She made up her mind and charged her friend...

...and socked him in the back of the head, forcing him to bow over with the pain. "We're very sorry!" she cried. She kept her hand on Kouki's head to keep him bowed. "He didn't mean to say what you think he said! We're both just so happy our friends have a big sister who takes care of them so well! A _very pretty_ big sister!"

"That's laying it a bit thick," Gekkou muttered.

Arika still looked like she was about to lay down some unholy explosive smack-down on the area when she felt a tug on her sleeve. She looked down to find Reiko back at her side, tearfully clutching her doll.

"Arika-nee... please..."

Arika simmered for a moment longer, then finally sighed as she let her... annoyance subside. "My bad, I guess I overreacted a bit..." She studiously ignored her other two siblings nodding enthusiastically at that statement. She pointed at the still bowing pair. "You. Keep a tighter leash on his mouth. It's going to get him in trouble some day."

Rin and Kouki both nodded, still facing the ground. Seemingly satisfied by that response, Arika scooped Reiko into her arms and moved past them to head into the school building. "Kumako, let's find your bookish brother and go home."

Kumako eagerly bounced after her, "Yay! Shinta hunt!"

Gekkou waited outside with Rin and Kouki as they collapsed to their knees and regained their composure. "So," he said conversationally. "That was Arika-nee, she's our oldest sister and Arturia-kaasan's - I think you've met her - daughter. She has something of a short-fuse, so be careful what you say to her."

"Good," gasped Kouki, "...to know."

He passed out.

Gekkou suddenly liked his eldest sister a lot more than he had before.


	9. F:SD Sidestory 01 Keiko

_(a/n) started writing this before you all made your arguments against gun-tracing so there is some here. i mostly took them from counterstrike, how's that for 'history'? |D_

_and yes i've said before i didn't want to do battles, but this plot bunny got stuck in my head and i did try to keep it toned down. tell me how i did._

**Fate/School Days - Sidestory 04: Keiko**

* * *

><p>Koyuki was still an emotional wreck when I got home. Akitsu-kaasan was being looked over by Chiho-kaasan and Chiyo-nee, so there was nothing for my sister to do but fidget around the house feeling useless. Karin and Sakuya were off doing something I'd rather not know anything about, while many of the older children were at after school clubs or activities. It fell to me to distract Koyuki from her own mood.<p>

Being an Emiya, my fallback distractions tended to be housekeeping or sparring. Thank goodness Uncle Gil was around to take care of the former, it gave me an excuse to engage in the latter.

We met in the large open space in the back yard as I laid out the rules for the spar. Having so many children with so many different abilities made it almost completely useless to have a single set of rules beyond 'Do Not Kill Each Other,' so fights were generally ruled on a case by case basis. Koyuki was listless as she listened to the limitations I had placed on the both of us, so I decided to take a bit of pity when I laid out her victory conditions.

For her to win this spar, she simply had to collect a large enough snowball that would smash me into the ground and cause a minor amount of property damage if it hit. She didn't even have to actually launch the attack, just create it. I knew if she kept herself focused she could create a ball of that size within a few minutes, which gave me a time limit for me to defeat her. My goal was to break her concentration with my own attacks. I was limiting myself to soft rubber bullets, though I did warn her I'd be using most of my rune combinations to distract her. If I could keep the spar going past the five minute mark, then it was my own victory.

Musubi-kaasan offered to officiate, though I think it had more to do with a desire to watch the unfolding battle rather than any desire to actually referee for us. I took my position across the field and watched Koyuki move into place on the far side as we waited for Musubi-kaasan to begin the fight.

She gave the signal and immediately the air temperature around us dropped by a good ten degrees. I had dashed to the side, anticipating an immediate snowball barrage, and I frowned when none came. Instead, Koyuki hadn't even moved from her spot, a small sphere of snow collecting over her head. I frowned at her lacking enthusiasm and pointed a finger towards her.

_Trace on..._

An MRI-Mark VII Desert Eagle was not generally considered a good weapon for actual battles, but it was a hand cannon in every sense of the word and it was useful for making a point. A single 0.44 rubber bullet was enough to completely vaporize the snow Koyuki had gathered and I let the pistol vanish as I watched her eyes widen.

"Gotta step it up, Koyuki-chan," I wagged a finger at her. "Just because I'm making it easy for you doesn't mean you've got a free win."

She blinked for a few moments and started to smile ruefully. A flicked hand in my direction sent several tiny pellets of snow my way, avoided by simply twisting out of their path.

"Better," I mock yawned and held out both of my hands. Two Beretta M9 semi-automatic pistols, the primary sidearm for US Armed Forces, materialized in place and I slid into a Form IV Gun Kata stance. "Wake up, Sister, here I come."

Koyuki launched another hail of tiny snowballs at my former position as I exploded towards the side. Pistols ablaze, I sent my own attacks split between various parts of her body or the snowball she was reforming over her head. This time, small explosions of snow marked where she had focused her powers into the stream of projectiles and successfully deflected them. One particularly large cloud erupted between us, blocking my vision, and I used to the chance to reverse direction and reload my weapons with more traced bullets.

Moving past the cloud, I sighted on Koyuki's back and her snowball. She had continued turning in the direction I had been moving before, and it seemed she had lost me when I pulled my reversal. She was just managing to turn around when a clip caught her in all along her side.

She exploded in a puff of white snow. For a second I was shocked into motionlessness, when suddenly I was blindsided by a renewed attack from my own side. Nothing but my pride had been injured, unlike her mother, Koyuki's abilities with snow left her fastest attacks suitable only for a friendly snowball fight. Since snow was most dangerous in quantities suitable for a small avalanche, she had always needed large amounts of time to gather enough snow for anything worth considering. Defensive strategies were her best forte, hence the rules I had set for our duel.

That didn't mean she didn't enjoy getting in a few hits of her own, though. For the first time this week she had a slight smile on her face as she stared triumphantly at my annoyed expression. Absentmindedly I lifted an arm to the side for a potshot at the large snowball still collecting in the air, but the surface barely reacted as the gathering snow simply absorbed the bullet. Her attack had reached the point where the handguns I was limiting myself to couldn't affect it directly, which meant my time was running out.

My primary-handed weapon dissipated and I poured more mana into creating its replacement. The Heckler & Koch USP 0.45 ACP was used by law enforcement agencies around the world, and the variant I had traced included its LEM-trigger modifications, which allowed for much faster follow-up shots. What made it even more special was the bullets I had traced were saturated with my od. Using my affinity with runes, I could 'prime' each bullet with a word, allowing for some interesting tactics.

_Sowelu _- Sun.

My first shot hit the ground right in front of Koyuki, setting off the equivalent of a flash grenade right at her feet.

_Kano _- Fire.

Spinning around, I fired a quick succession of bullets back at the growing snowball. This time, as each bullet was absorbed, the snow around it melted into water and fell from the construct as they melted from the fire spells. My other hand still holding a Beretta sprayed bullets back towards Koyuki, forcing her to reflexively dodge and shield herself as her eyesight recovered.

_Ansuz _- Communication, _Teiwaz _- Courage.

I'd never known why these two combined they way they did, but Father swore by it, and I'd always seen its effects first-hand, so I wasn't going to question it too much. The next two bullets I sent directly into the hollow left by my _kano_-bullets, and an explosion quickly tore out a fairly large chunk of the snowball, setting back Koyuki's progress quite a bit.

Behind me, my sister had finally noticed the assault I was launching and had begun to create a second ball. This one was still smaller than the one already formed - and recently reduced - but she packed it in tighter and launched it directly at my runic weapon.

_Thurisaz _- Protection, _Algiz _- Defender, _Berkana _- Growth

I spun to meet the new threat and fired a trio of bullets into a small wedge in the ground before me. A barrier spell quickly grew into place and the snow attack splattered against it. From behind its protection, I turned my firearms back towards the growing snowball and looked back over my shoulder.

Koyuki's face was flushed with exertion. She met my eyes with her own and I was pleased to see no trace of her previously dead expression. I grinned cockily at her and mouthed one final rune. She shook her head slowly and I felt a puff of cold air as she let the snowball completely disperse into the air.

"Keiko wins by forfeit~!" Musubi-kaasan declared, almost but not quite bouncing on her feet. "That was AWESOME! Rin-san would be so proud!"

"You didn't do as badly as I thought, Yuki" Karin said from behind her. I started; I hadn't even noticed her arrive. "You made Keiko use her runes pretty quickly."

Koyuki was still struggling to get her breathing under control. "It was still not sufficient," she gasped.

"Well," I began, "You protected yourself pretty well, and you got me good with that snow-clone. But you completely forgot that your primary objective was to protect your snowball."

Koyuki blinked.

"You should have either kept your defenses around it. But if you were going to relocate like that, you should have taken it with you," I concluded.

"Ah..." it was times like these Koyuki really resembled her mother. "I forgot..."

Karin sighed dramatically.

"My turn, my turn!" Musubi-kaasan cried out excitedly. I broke into a sweat at the thought of facing the powerful close-range combatant.

"Ooh, I want to watch this," Karin said. I turned towards her with a betrayed look.

"I, too, would find this interesting to see," Koyuki said with a narrow grin.

"Uh..."

"WHOO!" the 'adult' was shouting. "Oh wait, we need a new referee! I'll get Landlady-sama!" A small afterimage and a puff of smoke was all that remained as Musubi-kaasan vanished into the house.

"I think... I'm going to go... somewhere else for now," I said weakly. I started to head in, but my legs wouldn't move for some reason. Looking down, I noticed two shadowy appendages binding my feet to the ground. I nervously looked over my shoulder.

"Maa~" said a smiling Sakuya. "It's a champion's duty to accept their challengers, is it not?" She leaned forward, her bangs shadowing her face somewhat ominously. "**Besides, I want to watch too.**"

I whimpered. "I hate you all..."


	10. F:SD 05

**Fate/School Days 05**

* * *

><p>Karin dropped her bento box onto the table with an irritated clatter and slid onto the bench opposite Keiko and Sakuya. "This place is boring!" she complained.<p>

Keiko lifted an eyebrow at her sister as she cleaned off her chopsticks and prepared to dig in to her own lunch. "Why is that?"

"Nothing interesting ever happens here," came the reply. "I was expecting things from my school life!"

"She failed in her bid to become Class Representative," Koyuki said as slid into place next to the redhead and opened up her own bento.

Keiko and Sakuya both made _ahh_'s of understanding.

"Take Kyon-chan's school," the irritated redhead continued. "He's got some sort of conspiracy going on with a demi-god and an alien. Next thing you know he'll get some psychic or something... or or a time traveler!"

Sakuya frowned, "That sounds a little far-fetched. Even assuming he's somehow inherited Father's Chaos attributes, having them all focused in one area stretches the limits of belief."

Keiko stirred her curry before scooping up a few bites. "Is this demi-god the one he almost reacted to?"

"I believe so," Koyuki said softly. "Matsu-kaasan was also eagerly looking forward to meeting this alien but Father cautioned we didn't know what Type she was yet so it wouldn't be safe."

"**Is she hot?**"

The other three turned to stare at a blushing Sakuya, then ignored the question and resumed their meals.

"Think of it this way," Keiko said thoughtfully. "Kyon-nii is in high school, nothing seemed to happen to him... ever before then. Just be patient or something."

Karin snorted, "Like what, some mysterious high school student will transfer in and suddenly turn out to be a long-lost sister?"

Sakuya frowned. "I would think Father would tell us if he had another child. If nothing else, our mothers would never let him hear the end of it."

"Perhaps," Koyuki said. "However, recall the circumstances that led to Shinra joining our family. Perhaps this would be something similar? A tragically lost wife this time."

"Too contrived," Keiko retorted. "Maybe she was kidnapped at birth and Father simply finds her during his travels. Some school half-way around the world."

"If it is one of our sisters," Koyuki mused, "she may also demonstrate unusual abilities of some sort. Perhaps she would be a Mahou Shoujo?"

"With a pretty dress!" Sakuya chimed in. "She'll be like Superman. Mild-mannered glasses-wearing student by day. Ditch the glasses and she's suddenly a Magical Girl by night! **With an idol webpage!** **And stalkers!**" She abruptly slapped herself into silence.

There was a moment where only the chewing and the clatter of chopsticks against their bentos could be heard.

Keiko was the first to break into a chuckle, "As if..."

Karin sighed, "It'd be nice though..."

* * *

><p>In a school a bit closer than halfway around the world, a red-haired spectacled girl suddenly sneezed. She looked out the window to the brightly glowing, giant tree in the center of the academy and narrowed her eyes.<p> 


	11. F:SD 06

**Fate/School Days - 06**

* * *

><p>"Emiya-san!"<p>

Karin paused in the hallway and turned to face the student calling out to her. "Hm?"

The girl in front of her twiddled her fingers anxiously, "I was wondering if you could tell me if your sister is okay... I haven't seen her all day."

Karin blinked, then a grin slowly spread across her face as she finally recognized the face in front of her. She'd been so bored since Koyuki took the day off to help care for Akitsu-kaachan, but maybe she could alleviate that somewhat...

She pointed at the girl, "Nameless Extra #7, yes?"

The girl frowned at her. "It's Kaori, Emiya-san."

The redhead waved dismissively, "Same thing. Unfortunately, Koyuki had to deal with something that came up. A person very close to her fell ill and she's at their house taking care of them."

Kaori paled. "Somebody close to Koyuki-san? Who is it?"

Karin tried to keep her face neutral, but her eyes mischievously twinkled. Not that the girl before her noticed. Kaori's eyes were wide with sudden horror, and Karin could almost see exactly what she was thinking.

_This will be fun._

"I don't think you've met them," she said thoughtfully. "They don't go to our school, but 'Yuki's known them for... I guess practically her whole life."

The Japanese language was so helpful, one could describe a person to a T without even mentioning a gender pronoun.

"A childhood friend?" Kaori moaned piteously.

"Hm... I suppose you could say that. 'Yuki's definitely had strong feelings for them since childhood I guess. They're normally inseparable."

The girl whimpered.

Karin leaned forward to meet her eyes. "So yeah, 'Yuki will probably not be in classes today, did you want me to pass her a message?"

"I... er... no, I was just worried about her... in case she was sick herself!" She sniffed softly as she nodded. Ah, the poor thing didn't know she was so transparent.

Karin smiled openly now. "I'm sure 'Yuki will be touched to know you're so concerned for her acquaintance."

"I.. ah... yes!" Kaori blushed and bowed. "Sorry to disturb you, Emiya-san!"

Karin continued smiling as the other girl walked away.

* * *

><p><em>A few days later...<em>

"Koyuki-chan!"

Koyuki sighed as she and Karin both stopped in the hallway and turned around. "Kaori-san," she greeted her. "I am sorry to say I did remember to bring my lunch today and do not-"

"Oh, no! No no no," Kaori said quickly. She fidgeted even more than usual. "I just wanted to to say I hope your friend was feeling better."

Koyuki blinked as she realized her Mother was being referred to as her 'friend'... not that she disagreed, but it was still an unusual term to address her by. She acknowledged the comment with a short bow, "Thank you, Kaori-san. That means a lot to me."

She blinked again when she realized Karin was snickering softly, but refocused her attention on the stricken girl in front of her. It was nice her schoolmate was so concerned about Mother's health, but she seemed to be overreacting just a bit.

"I-I also wanted to say," Kaori continued. Her voice voice seemed to be trembling. "I wish you both the best! And that you'll be happy together!"

Koyuki's blinking increased with confusion. _What?_

Karin began to cackle.

Kaori's eyes were shimmering now as she met Koyuki's eyes. "And... and I hope he makes you happy!" She bowed quickly and spun around.

_Wait __what? **He?  
><strong>_

Koyuki opened her mouth to answer when she felt a hand clap over it, silencing her. She turned her eyes to glare furiously at a bemused redhead.

"Thank you for your concern, Nameless Extra #7!" Karin gushed. "She's so touched she's speechless!"

Kaori was already making her escape.

Koyuki managed to pull the hand away and stared wide-eyed at her sister, scandalized. "What did you... why does she think...?" She turned down the hallway where Kaori had disappeared into.

"_It's not like that!_"

Karin broke out into full-fledged laughter.


	12. F:SD 07

_A visual guide for The Clan has been drawn(!) up for the children and most of the wives. head on over to the link to view it_

**_(andarion. deviantart. com/ art/ Emiya-Clan-212798888)_**

_(a/n) - random thought which prompted this omake. fuuko is described as a shameless flirt, but she's a half-sekirei, which means she WILL react to somebody in the future... so _why_ does she do it?_

_here's my own answer. beware of info dumps, but i like world building._

**Fate/School Days - 07**

* * *

><p>As was common nowadays, four girls sat by themselves at a table near the edge of the school cafeteria. They were a small island of calm, the lunchtime chaos somehow flowing around their table by a wide margin and giving them a semblance of peace for them to discuss... whatever happened to pop up in their minds at the time.<p>

_I love runic wards_, Karin thought happily for the umpteenth time. She turned to her sister responsible to say as much when she noticed the girl in question poking at her bento with an unhappy look on her face. She mentally changed tracks with a blink and made a querying noise.

Keiko frowned a bit more before she spoke, still not looking up from her meal. "It's not right," she finally complained.

Karin shared a glance with her third sister, sitting beside the morose gunslinger. Sakuya returned her glance with a shrug, then turned back to Keiko.

"Is this about Fuuko?" she asked. The redhead nodded in response as the other leaned back with an audible '_ahhh_' breezing from her mouth.

The middle schoolers of the Emiya Clan tended to organize themselves by their grades, so it wasn't a common occurrence to find them all together in the same place during class periods. On the other hand, it wasn't uncommon either for them to pass by each other in ones and twos as they traveled from class to class. Fuuko, the sole third year amongst their numbers, was more or less alone in her grade since her birth date was just shy a few weeks from the cutoff which had kept her from the other siblings in her age group.

Her relative isolation was one theory the family had to explain her reputation. Many of the more cynical members simply said she was channeling her mother. Either way, it seemed Keiko and Sakuya had recently walked past a hallway where their elder sister had been enjoying one of her latest 'conquests.' The reminder of that memory made Sakuya suddenly flush and break into sub-vocal chuckles.

Keiko ignored her and stabbed at a strip of meat with her chopsticks. "She really shouldn't be playing around with boys at her age," she said grumpily.

"This isn't some jealousy popping up, is it?" Karin was well aware of the stories passed around her sister's mother. Though Rin-kaachan had hardly taken advantage of it, it _was_ well known that she had been a popular idol during her own school years. It was entirely possibly her sole child would have her own expectations for her life.

Keiko chewed on the idea as well as her food. "Partially," she admitted. The same thoughts had apparently been running through her own head. "But it's not just that." She lifted her head finally to stare across the table, taking in the girl who had stayed out of the conversation as well. "She's almost 15 now."

Beside her sister, Koyuki suddenly froze. The snow-girl's uniform seemed to flutter as she settled into immobility, her eyes locked onto Keiko. Karin, on the other hand, continued eating without comment, as if the words held no meaning to her.

"So?"

Keiko frowned, "She shouldn't be fooling around with boys because she shouldn't be getting into a relationship. Not at that age."

Karin wouldn't meet her sister's eyes. "What's so wrong about having a boyfriend at 15?"

Cyan eyes narrowed at the opposite redhead. "You know. You were the one that helped Matsu-kaachan come up with the statistics."

"Statistics for what?" came the artificially light reply.

Sakuya was blinking rapidly as she looked back and forth between her arguing siblings. Koyuki was still frozen in place.

Keiko sighed. "Sekirei Reacting."

Karin finally did look up to meet her sister's stare, "Oh?"

Nobody knew what constituted maturity for a Sekirei. A few assumptions could be made given their human-like forms, but even despite the massive amounts of research MBI had put into the subject - both before and after the Emiya takeover of the company - a Sekirei's Winging Ritual still defied any single set of guidelines.

In various countries the 'legal' age for adulthood was anywhere between 18-21 years of age. Biologically, humans reached maturity between 12-15 years of age. Sekirei, for all that they looked human, had a huge range of time for them to mature - judged by when their biology felt it necessary to seek out an ashikabi and perform the ritual. Some like Kazehana-kaasan didn't react to anybody until she was well into adulthood, and wasn't even winged until many years after that. On the other side, Kusano-kaasan and Shiina-ojisan had both winged at ages a human would be considered adolescent.

The statistics Keiko was referring to was a wide survey of Sekirei from the previous generation as well as the offspring from the surviving numbers. First generation Sekirei-Human half-breeds had a tendancy to not display any Reaction behaviors until after they had matured their human sides, which generally took place during their highschool years. There had been a few notable exceptions, like Reiko-imouto, but by and large a large portion of their generation - especially the older Emiya children - had found themselves 'married' long before they had graduated high school.

That the situation was the cause of a great deal of stress for Shirou-tousan was well known.

Keiko was poking at her food again. But surprisingly it was Sakuya who spoke up next. "She doesn't even _have_ to flirt around... so why does she do it?"

What was less well known is that it was an unacknowledged rift between the children of The Clan. It varied from child to child but it was generally split between the 'normals' - the offspring of purely human pairing - and... well, everybody else. The Sekirei were only the largest group in their large family. There were also vampires, materialized spirits, and if Shinra-imouto's story was to be believed, the _planet_ itself that had lent their genetic material to their offspring.

The normal children had to put up with society's expectations from their mothers; find a mate with good grades, good jobs, and a good upbringing if possible. For the immortals, it was more of: find somebody who won't annoy you for all of eternity. And for the Sekirei, it was more or less: the first person you feel like jumping onto and ravishing. Needless to say, normal courtship rules sort of flew out the window from the start, though there was some lingering envy between the children about how 'easy' one group or another had it.

Karin decided that Keiko and Sakuya's comments were based on that situation. For Keiko, she had been half expecting becoming Queen of the Campus and following in her mother's footsteps. She had always been a sociable child and was looking forward to building up her own little clique. Sakuya... well half of her would jump the closest boy if given free reign and though she kept Yin contained admirably, it was inevitable that some portion would color her Yang personality.

For both sisters, seeing Fuuko more or less Queen of the Males for the entire school was an affront to their sensibilities. Not only was it a wasted effort in their eyes, but she also took away potential attention from themselves.

Envy went both ways though.

"Try to think of it this way," Karin mused. "I'll be the first to say, yes _we_ don't really need to have an active dating life. Our biology will find somebody compatible for us and *bam*, instant family." She looked up to make sure both her normal sisters were looking at her.

"But if you think about it another way, we have very little chance to find somebody on our own."

There was a handful of blinks around her, even Koyuki was staring at her now.

Karin lifted her glasses from her face and propped them on top of her head. "Can you imagine what it'd be like if I reacted to somebody like Hikaru Gosunkugi?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

Even Sakuya blanched at the mental image involving the _extremely odd_ cultist.

"Now this is pure speculation," the redhead continued. "But I think Fuuko-neechan is doing her own version of training."

Keiko stared. "What."

Karin replaced her glasses and grinned at her sister. "She dates her current boy-toy and gets herself all hot and bothered. She goes however far she wants to with him... and then breaks it off to find somebody else."

"And this is training... how?"

"Simple. When she finally reacts to somebody she'll have two advantages I don't think any of our siblings ever had." Karin lifted a finger, "First, from her _very wide_ range of experience she can decide if this is somebody she actually would like. She's probably dated over half the school by now and that compromises a lot of personality types."

Sakuya was fanning herself now. "**Do you think she can give pointers?**"

Karin ignored her and raised a second finger, "Next, she's probably had more experience controlling herself than the rest of us combined. I don't think even her mother has that kind of experience."

Keiko snorted. "I don't think Kazehana-kaasan ever bothered to _try_."

"Point taken. My point, though, is that until the Winging Ritual is completed we are completely free to chose who we want to. Reacting just makes that very, _very_ hard. Fuuko-neechan is just setting herself up so she can actually settle in with a boy... or girl... she actually likes."

All three other girls looked thoughtful at her conclusion. Keiko still wasn't letting the matter go, however.

"That does sound reasonable... but why aren't you two doing it then?"

"Ah," Koyuki spoke quietly. "I feel that for whoever I have a Reaction to, love will find a way..." she said with a blush.

Karin simply shrugged. "A few reasons. For one, I'm not old enough yet where I think I have to worry about it. Also..."

Keiko and Sakuya looked on curiously as their sister rummaged through her school bag for a tablet PC, which she placed onto the table's surface.

Karin's glasses seemed to opaque as they reflected the light from the powered on device. She poked her way through several menus then leaned back.

"Who said I _wasn't_ training myself?" she grinned as she watched her siblings.

Keiko and Sakuya's faces both flushed a deep crimson as they stared at the screen. Koyuki poked her head over Karin's shoulder.

"Ah, I _like_ this one."


	13. Emiya Clan Misc: Nerima 01

_(a/n) - this omake came nearly as a direct result of an omake written by Khagerou on the TFF-Emiya Clan threads (page 18, #868). this omake detailed a scenario where Karin ended up Reacting to and forcefully winging herself on Keiko. i threatened retaliation by winging Koyuki with somebody ridiculous (i threw out ranma) if the omake was considered canon. that probably poured oil to the flames, and now the majority of the thread considers it canon._

_so._

_i give you the first of the Nerima omakes. this takes place when koyuki is 16-17ish, so long after i set F/SD_

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan - Nerima 01<strong>

* * *

><p>Koyuki was lost.<p>

In the literal sense, because she was stuck in some odd section of Shin-Tokyo without any idea or plan of how to return home beyond a phone call and an MBI Rapid Response Team... or one of her siblings, whichever was faster.

In the metaphorical sense because she had literally been dropped into this location by her own Mother and Matsu-kaasan. Stranded with only vague instructions to wait for... someone.

"You'll know him when you see him," was not a very reassuring statement.

So she stood there, on a somewhat isolated street corner, waiting for god-knows-who. Idly she passed the time trying to come up with reasons for her being there. Meeting a family friend? Indirect information gathering by her information-obsessed mother? Picking up a dead-letter drop for a spy-ring run by the same?

But though a great deal of scenarios all flew through her head - nearly all of them based off Matsu-kaasan's involvement - she still could not fathom a reason why Akitsu-kaasan would volunteer the use of her daughter in her schemes.

Her musings were interrupted with sudden cries and shouts and she looked up just in time to see a boy in red Chinese martial arts tangs fly through the air and crash into the wall beside her. He peeled himself gracelessly out of the cracked stone and caught her eye as he brushed himself off.

Something rushed through her as she met his stare. She couldn't seem to identify the feeling that suddenly made her catch her breath or cause the air temperature to rise by an uncomfortable margin. The sudden thermal shock made her light-headed and she suddenly wanted to grab this strange boy who had literally fallen at her feet.

"Sorry 'bout that," his voice interrupted. She blinked, seeing him with new eyes as she took in his body in greater detail as he nervously looked over his shoulder. "If anybody asks for me, I wasn't here." Black hair tied into a pigtail flicked through the air as he glanced around.

He was escaping some thing, she realized. For some reason the thought of anyone else catching and harming this boy made her feel uneasy, and the air temperature rapidly dropped. This caught the attention of the stranger, making him pause just as he was about to leap away from their location.

"Allow me," she said to his unspoken question. Without any further notice, the boy was suddenly buried under a large snow drift, forming an almost comical looking snowman-shaped lump beside her.

Just in time, for a slim girl with long violet hair landed on the street in front of her. She angrily looked around before glaring at Koyuki and barking out a question. "Where is _airen_?" Koyuki gave the girl a vacant-eyed stare, as if she knew nothing of what she'd been asked. The purple girl seemed about to ask more when she suddenly bound away, just as a white-robed boy with thick glasses propped on his forehead landed in her spot.

"Curse you, Womanizer!" he shouted to a streetlamp his right. "Give me back my shampoo!" He then jumped away, miraculously in the same direction as the first girl, leaving Koyuki to wonder what a womanizer had to do with hair products.

Several other people came and went past the spot. Some jumped in from the rooftops, a very few walked or ran in from the street. All of them were grumbling and cursing things ranging from 'sorcerers' to 'cross-dressers' to 'perverts'. None of them seemed at all surprised to find a large pile of melting snow in the middle of the street on an otherwise hot summer day before they ran off.

Finally after several moments had passed without a new chaser appearing, Koyuki finally turned her attention back to the snow pile. Melted water was pooling along the sidewalk, and she saw two large blue eyes staring back at her from around head-height. Koyuki felt the flush of emotion again and finally understood this as her 'Reaction', one like her siblings had all previously gone through.

The voice that emerged from the snow pile was higher in pitch than before. But Koyuki didn't seem to notice as she reached in to brush off the remaining snow. "Thanks for hiding me. I dunno how you did that but it really helped ou-_mMMph!_"

The voice was cut off as Koyuki grabbed the body by the shoulders and yanked it out to press her mouth against lips frozen with the snow exposure. Wings as delicate as snowflakes erupted from her back, bathing the wall behind her with a bright, blue light. The light and wings slowly flickered away as the girl pulled away from her stunned target, eyes closed as she relished in the sensations of the Winging Ritual.

"I am Koyuki Emiya," she formally declared. "and I will faithfully serve you, my Ashikabi-sama - forever and ever..." She slowly opened her eyes...

...and stared at a female redhead a full head shorter than she was. Melted snow-water dripped through her clothing and a pigtail styled in the exact same manner as the boy she had seen earlier.

Koyuki froze for several heartbeats. This was definitely not the same person she had been reacting to earlier. However, the feeling she had from being near her ashikabi was unchanged. It was most puzzling. Another small part of her was surprised she had ended up winging a female... but after putting up with her sisters...

"I suppose a girl is fine, too," she finally decided.

The redhead in front of her passed out.

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere...<em>

"So... sixteen or seventeen years ago, while you were carrying Koyuki-chan. Some guy claiming to be a martial artist finds you while we were on vacation in Osaka?" Matsu leaned back in her chair as she spun around idly.

Akitsu nodded from her place beside the desk. "I believe so, yes."

"And he was - as you put it - 'dying of heat stroke after vanquishing a cruel and monstrous master?'"

"That is what he claimed. And you know how I feel about 'Masters' abusing their servants."

"...So you gave him a popsicle."

"I made him one, yes."

"And he was so relieved he promised you his first-borne son to your daughter as repayment."

"So he said. He was somewhat delirious by that point."

_"He traded his son's hand in marriage for a popsicle?"_

"Indeed."

"..."

"..."

"...and you didn't tell any of us this until now...why?"

"Ah, I suppose I forgot about it."

Matsu's desk rattled as its owner's forehead impacted the writing surface.


	14. F:SD Sidestory 02 Reiko

_(a/n) - since my first set of FSD sidestories were more or less connected, i've decided to relabel the first 4 as 'sidestory 1', these next few will be 'sidestory 2'. the chapter titles are being edited, but i'm leaving the chapter text themselves alone for now. hence the funky numbering on this one._

* * *

><p><strong>FateSchool Days Sidestory 02(5) - Reiko**

* * *

><p>If mere words could sum up my life, the phrase, "I saw that coming," would fit the best.<p>

I inherited from my Mother the ability to transcend time. My power was certainly not perfect, but it allowed me to view flashes, snippets of the world to come and the possibilities that existed amongst the multiverse. Time passed unusually for me, my visions imparted wisdom upon me and granted me experiences beyond what my six years would normally allow me.

There were two unfortunate side effects resulting from this. Barely after my fifth physical year, I pushed too hard in an attempt to make sense of a vision. Though I learned much from it, the effort involved overstressed my magic circuits and I... was broken. The small shred of control I had over my abilities evaporated and it wasn't unusual now to find me lost to the world for hours on end.

The second side effect was compounded by this event. When I say I had visions of the myriad futures, it wasn't anything like simply watching a movie or television show. I took the feelings and impressions from whoever I was using for my viewpoint. I also experienced Time much differently in a vision. For however many minutes or hours I spent entranced, I might live out hours or - rarely - days at time. I was bombarded with sights, smells, and sounds all out of proportion with what I could normally understand.

So I learned to understand them.

The problem then lay in the fact that everything that I experienced was purely in my head. I still had a five-year oldmind to try to frame everything around. My command of languages was insufficient, I had no way to voice the thoughts and ideas my mind would come up with. My early attempts were dismal and disappointing. Frustration mounted as time and time again I was unable to verbalize what I really wanted to say.

By my fifth and a half year I retreated. I used my limited vocabulary to space out short messages. Limited warnings or statements for my family to piece together. Oddly enough, my siblings seemed to find it easier to piece together the meaning of my words the less I said. It still wasn't a level of communication I was comfortable with, but I had a reasonable compromise.

My only refuge was with myself. Many times during my visions I would have an older version of myself as a guide or companion. For a figment of my imagination, she often provided me new insights and interpretations for what I saw. Many times they were things I would never have found myself thinking, and it were almost as if she were an entity completely different from myself. Though my words were nonsensical, they still held meaning for the both of us and I found I could converse with her more freely than anyone else alive.

Outside of my dreams, I was still alone. The doll I carried became her proxy. Whenever I needed a second point of view, I would talk to her as if she were my phantom self, using her as a second conversation piece. Despite also being a figment of my imagination, I could never quite achieve the same companionship I had achieved with my dream self.

It was something that frustrated me to no end.

* * *

><p>Today I foresaw disaster.<p>

Today was an off day. While the majority of the family spent their free time out and about the city, us younger children - plus Karin-neesan and Koyuki-neesan - stayed home under the watchful eyes of Uncle Gil and Akitsu-kaasan. With Uncle's hands-off approach to day care, the activity for the day was babysitting by the television.

Gekkou-nii, Kumako-nee, and oddly enough, Karin-nee were pleased with the decision. However, despite their initial indifference, when it came to deciding what to watch, Akitsu-kaasan and Koyuki-nee somehow swung the vote into watching an ancient - not mention completely out of season - movie called "Frosty the Snowman". Once Kumako-nee was told a brief synopsis of the story, she was all for it and the future I had predicted was locked.

One thing I knew, however, was that the future was never immutable. It was always changing, and even if destiny could not be completely altered, it could be manipulated.

I quickly removed myself from that possible future by fleeing the room as fast as I could.

* * *

><p><em>(an) - this is my take on why child!reiko is so quiet all the time, and also why she tends to mumble into her ever present doll almost continuously. the idea of future!reiko influencing her visions and slowly guiding her development also seemed an interesting idea. anyhow my overall goal is to suggest reiko having a mental maturity at least a few year above what she should, even if she cant vocalize properly to suggest it. however it seems all i did was make her sound too mature, for which i am sorry_


	15. EC: Nerima 02a

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 02a**

* * *

><p>Emiya Shirou, patriarch of one of the most powerful families in Shin-Tokyo, was sitting at a table across from a stern-looking man. In a situation he was finding himself in far too often recently, he struggled with how to explain the fact that one of his children had suddenly, recently become permanently attached with the other man's own child.<p>

Fortunately, the young black-haired youth took the decision out of his hands. "Let me guess," Ranma Saotome said with a weary sigh. "Pops here got me another fiancée?" Akitsu shifted slightly at her customary position beside her husband but was otherwise silent. Koyuki sat on his opposite side, but rather than the impassive expression she usually displayed, she had a hungry expression on her face as she stared at the speaker.

Shirou simply raised an eyebrow at the boy's statement. "_Another_ fiancée?" he repeated, his voice artificially mild.

"Oh yeah," the Ranma said, heedless of the shushing noises his father was making at him. "I've got at least half a dozen people after me, with roughly half of them directly because of Pop here. There was the arranged promise, the okonomiyaki stand, the Chinese prize food..."

Shirou's eyes snapped over to Genma Saotome, who suddenly developed an interest for a smudge on a wall to the side. Frowning, he raised his hand to stop Ranma from continuing his list.

"Although I am finding this extremely interesting," he turned a glare on the elder Saotome. "I must point out that amongst my family, there are several... customs involved which have escalated our claim."

Ranma narrowed eyes at the Emiya patriarch. "You ain't Chinese are ya?"

Shirou blinked at that. "Um, no. However I would like to ask you to confirm something." He indicated his daughter with a wave. "When you kissed my daughter-"

A large mallet, glowing brightly and promising painful vengeance slammed into the chair where Ranma had just been sitting, interrupting the conversation. The whole table turned as one towards an equally brightly glowing girl, trembling with rage as she pulled the weapon from the shattered remains of the furniture.

"**Raanmaa~**" growled the short-haired girl.

"It wasn't my fault, Akane!" The protest came from above and Shirou turned away from his study of the unique weapon to find his prospective son-in-law clinging to the ceiling. "_She _kissed _me!_"

The youngest Tendo, Fiancée #1, merely growled something unintelligible and cocked her arm to hurl her weapon... only to find it pressed firmly against the table by a steady arm.

Shirou met her glare with an even stare, then turned his attention back upwards. "When you kissed my daughter," he continued. "did you happen to notice anything unusual?" Ranma seemed to double-check that the tomboy had been safely contained before he noiselessly dropped back to the floor. "She... uh, started glowing?" He turned a critical eye towards Koyuki who smiled faintly at the sudden attention. "She doesn't have a curse, does she?"

"Oh, no," Shirou reassured him. "Not at all. However, if what you said is true, then according to... her people's customs, you two are now married."

_"What?"_ More than one set of eyes suddenly turned to stare at the now blushing Emiya teen.

"You... you _pervert!_" Akane shrieked at Ranma. She hefted her mallet high - the same mallet Shirou suddenly realized was no longer in his grasp.

Had she somehow dematerialized it and reformed it? Golden eyes suddenly focused on her more closely as an aura visibly manifested itself around her.

Ranma leapt back to avoid her attack, landing near the wall when it abruptly exploded into splinters. A purple-haired girl dual-wielding Chinese chúi jumped through the gaping hole and took an aggressive stance.

"_Airen_ no can marry New-Girl! Shampoo kill!"

Shirou's eye twitched.

Another girl dropped in behind the first, this one wielding what seemed to be a grossly oversized cooking utensil. "Ran-chan, ignore that hussy's claims! You've got me!"

Yet another wall across the room burst into pieces and a stocky boy staggered in, leaning on a large bamboo umbrella. "Saotome!" he growled. "You made Akane cry, _**prepare to die!**_"

One by one, the Nerima Wrecking Crew made their appearances with their usual battlecries and death threats. Shirou noted with interest that though half of the death threats were aimed at his family - Koyuki in particular - each of their attacks were aimed at the black and red blur that was now frantically dodging all over the room.

_"Die Saotome!"_

A puff of snow exploded into existence beside him, and he turned to see an odd assortment of blades, spears... and was that a potty-training toilet?... rebounding off the improvised barrier. One of them had just attacked his little girl...

"I'm over _here_, you blind quack!"

He closed his eyes and grit his teeth. "Akitsu."

The sound of crackling ice was the only indication that she had heard his command, and he opened his eyes to find almost every combatant's arms and legs frozen to the floor. One of them, a Chinese boy in flowing white robes was completely encased in ice. A series of chained weapons stretching from his sleeves along the floor suggested the reasoning for his wife's ire to that particular individual.

Ranma, left completely alone from the attack, stood in the center of the room in a low combat crouch, watching the sitting family warily. A shaky hand reached up from below the table, pulling a nervous looking Genma Saotome back into his seat.

Heads all around turned towards the Emiyas still sitting casually at their table with measuring eyes. Some looked nervous, others looked murderous.

"Who _are_ you people?"

Shirou smiled.


	16. EC: Nerima 02b

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 02b**

* * *

><p>Nabiki Tendou prided herself on her information gathering skills. Very little happened in the Nerima ward of Shin-Tokyo without her knowing about it and she often used that knowledge to make a little money on the side.<p>

To support her family, of course.

Ranma getting himself into trouble was not really a news-breaking incident. That the trouble involved large scale property damage might rate a footnote in the neighborhood newsletter. That a new fiancée was involved was newsworthy, but only to a small circle of individuals that made up nearly eighty percent of her personal income.

When a small envelope arrived in the mail informing the family that a 'Shirou Emiya' would be stopping by to discuss their daughter's engagement to the heir, naturally the first thing she did was turn to her phone's speed-dial and inform the rest of fiancées and other involved individuals that collectively made up the so-called Nerima Wrecking Crew.

A short but profitable afternoon was spent dropping just enough hints to extract bribes and other payments for this 'exclusive information', and she laid out plans and contingencies to best take advantage of the incoming chaos she knew would arrive later that day.

The remaining time was spent shaking down her contacts while looking up any public references to this 'Shirou Emiya'. Public information was surprisingly scarce on the net, and the only mention her contacts could give her was a decades-old internet message board that the pharmaceutical/technology conglomerate known as Mid-Bio Informatics had run for some alternate-reality game. The website was defunct now, and she couldn't find any details on the event MBI had been promoting with their ARG.

The only mention she could find of the name was a small adoption filing in the city records for the town of Fuyuki several decades back by a Kiritsugu Emiya, but she couldn't find any more detailed records for anyone by that name either.

It was a mystery, and she didn't like mysteries.

A noise from downstairs told her guests had arrived. Ordinarily she would try to sit in on the meeting and gather information that way, but usually she would have some information on their guests to compare her observations against. She didn't like going into a meeting cold like this, and bent over her laptop to try a deeper search.

The sounds of small talk continued to float up from below as she tried various terminals and websites with no success. A shout from below made her pause for a moment, but she quickly identified the voice as her baby sister and put it down to the usual Ranma-caused chaos.

Her hard drive suddenly ticked and sputtered with the noise of data being read and she frowned as she checked her open applications. None of them should require accessing this much data...

Her eyes went wide open as she checked her 'net connections. A large upload was taking place and she paled as the only possible scenario ran through her head.

_I must have hit a security trip wire somewhere,_ she thought. _Everything on this computer is being copied to an offsite server!_

She quickly unplugged her networking cable from its port, but a flash in the corner of her screen showed the wireless was still active. Reaching across her desk she powered the whole modem off, but even without any live connections, the screen still showed the data-upload taking place.

Shouts, crashes and explosions heralded the arrival of the NWC but she paid it no mind as her mind furiously thought of ways to cancel the hack. Just as she was about to consider forcefully powering down her computer, a small window popped up in the middle of her screen and she stared at it with wide eyes.

_**IF YOU WANTED TO KNOW, YOU ONLY HAD TO ASK ~M. EMIYA**_

Nabiki shoved herself away from her desk and rose on shaking legs. She made her way to the corridor outside and all but threw herself down the stairs, only to pause at the landing.

Before her was chaos. She had expected that. What she didn't expect was for the entirety of the NWC frozen in place - literally. Shampoo was hanging from the ceiling, twin blocks of ice holding her arms and weapons in place as she kicked at it furiously. Kuno was unconscious in a wall, Ranma's usual handiwork. Akane and Ukyo were both pinned to the floor in the middle of a catfight. Ryouga was held down by all of his limbs by more ice which reinforced themselves periodically as he struggled and cracked his restraints. Mousse was covered completely in a single large ice cube with his face frozen in surprise. Numerous holes and craters outside the shattered walls indicated the locations of the remaining members.

Sitting in calmly at the family table were a trio of strangers. A well built man who's spiky red hair was going gray at the tips. Flanking him were two women, the elder brown-haired with light blue highlights, the younger with longer hair tinted the same shade as those highlights. The two elders wore identical hard expressions on their faces. The youngest was simply staring at the Boy of Chaos with flushed cheeks on an otherwise impassive face.

Nabiki took all this in at a glance, but refocused her gaze on the man sitting at the table. Though his head was still turned towards Ranma and Genma, the latter now retaking his chair, she could have sworn he was looking straight at her.

Her mind flashed back to the mysterious hacker that had breached her computer's defenses.

"Who _are_ you people?" she demanded.

She was not reassured to see the man smile.


	17. F:SD Sidestory 02 Kumako

**Fate/School Days - Sidestory 2: Kumako**

* * *

><p>I had a new hero, and that hero was made of snow.<p>

He was a hero because he was on TV, and everybody knew that being on TV meant you were all sorts of _awesome_.

He was even more _awesome_ because he was brought to life through the Power of Love. The other kids on the TV (who were also _awesome_) demonstrated the Power of Love when they put that hat on his head.

Frosty the Snowman was the Ultimate Hero of Love!

...and Justice! Because Justice is also _awesome_.

I decided to show my appreciation for the TV Hero by acting out the way a proper Hero of Love and Justice would. I zoomed around the room, punching and kicking the air. I had to do it because Frosty wasn't here. It all fell to me to punish the invisible enemies!

Then I had the idea. The greatest, bestest, most _awesomest _idea ever!

We should bring Frosty the Hero here! Daddy could bring swords. Uncle Gil could bring swords... and candy! Akitsu-mama could make ice cubes for drinks! And.. and... hey Big Sister 'Yuki was here too! I quickly dashed over to her.

"Yuki-nee! Bring Frosty here!" I asked, very nicely, very politely like Mama had told me to. Still, for some reason Big Sis was covering her ears and making a face.

Well, Big Sis had always been a wierdo.

"What?" she asked quietly. Too quietly. I always have a hard time hearing Big Sis 'Yuki.

I showed her the proper volume to talk to me with as I answered. "Frosty!" I said with my bestest indoor voice. "The Snowman!"

She looked at me and tilted her head. _Gawd_, why was she so slow. "The one on TV!" I said very carefully.

"I know," she said, clearly not getting the message that she was too quiet. "But what do you mean by, 'bring him here'?"

I stomped my foot on the floor. _Geez_, sometimes Big Sis was so _stupid._ "Du~uh. Frosty is a _Snow_man! You make _snow_!" I waved my arms around the room. "Bring us snow and we'll bring in Frosty!"

"I don't think-" Big Sis was interrupted by Big Sis Karin. I beamed. Big Sis Karin always knew what I wanted. Even when I didn't know what I wanted. She was _awesome_ like that.

"C'mon, 'Yuki. It's just a bit of fun," Karin said with a large smile. She _knew_. She understood the Power of _Awesome_.

"I don't think it's such a good idea," said Big Brother Gekkou from the couch. I made a face, Gekkou was a brat sometimes. He didn't _get_ Awesome. "We're just going to make a mess and Gil-ojisan will get mad at us."

"We're not making a _mess!_" I said back to him, still using my bestest indoor voice. "We're making _Frosty_. The Ultimate Hero of Love and Justice." I thought about it some more. "And FUN!"

"You can't _make _Frosty," he retorted. "He's just a TV character. He's not real!"

Not real? _Not real?_ Wait... but the TV said... but...

Big Sis Karin saved me, "No, that Frosty isn't real. Just like Father always complains about that one movie not being real. But we know there's a _real_ Frosty out there somewhere, just like there's a real Father that's not on the TV either."

Gekkou's eyes widened, "Really?"

I looked at Karin hopefully, "Really?"

She nodded. "Indeed, we just need magic to do it! 'Yuki here has the magic to make the snow. But who has enough magic to make Frosty himself? Hmm?"

Oh no... I don't have magic. I can punch Frosty's enemies to death but I can't make him. I fail as a Hero of Love and Justice!

Big Sis Karin must have seen my expression because she suddenly spun towards Gekkou. "Gekkou-chan, making Frosty is your job!"

"What? I don't have any magic like that!"

"Hmm... if you say so I guess you don't..." Karin put her finger to her mouth. I knew that pose, she was _thinking_. "I thought you always had it in you, but I suppose I was wrong..."

Gekkou's eyes widened. "Wait, I really do?" He suddenly stood up and put his hands on his hips. "I- I mean, of _course_ I do. Just watch, you'll see the _best_ Frosty the Snowman ever made when I get done with him!"

I cheered happily, not noticing Big Sis Karin turning to give a thumbs-up to Big Sis 'Yuki.

'Yuki sighed and snow started to fall in the living room.

I beamed, this was gonna be _awesome._

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile...<em>

Akitsu shifted slightly as she sat on the couch, all but forgotten by the children around her. When Gilgamesh had left the house to do the grocery shopping he had left explicit instructions for her to watch the children.

She watched Kumako running around the knee-high snowdrift only to trip and fall flat on her face. She watched as she picked herself up with a giggle and continued her course.

She watched Koyuki concentrating as she summoned enough moisture from the air to freeze into the snow, no small feat considering it was a hot summer day. She felt a swell of pride in her chest as she watched her daughter at work.

She watched them all very carefully.

* * *

><p><em>(an) - these last two sidestories were a prequel to one i wrote last month, it's on chronodekar's omakes fic at:  
>(<strong>s /6957555 /220 /OMAKES_for_In_Flight**) which was actually my first introduction for kumako, gekkou, and koyuki to the forums.  
>obviously some portions of the characters' personalities have altered slightly, i did try to keep changes to a minimum, however.<br>_


	18. EC: Nerima 03

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 03**

* * *

><p>"So..." Ranma began carefully. "Tell me something."<p>

He lounged in the chair provided to him, running a critical eye over the teenaged girl sitting across from him. She was slender, not nearly as built as Shampoo but she certainly had points above Akane. She wore a sleeveless vest over a somewhat baggy t-shirt and shorts, leaving her arms and legs bare. It was a curious choice of wardrobe considering the day had been overcast and somewhat chilly.

Her posture when she had been moving around was tight and constrained, as if she was carefully planning out her motions before she made them. She lacked the fluid grace that suggested a practitioner of The Art, while her exposed limbs lacked any visible muscle definition. She was no fighter, it seemed.

Her face had a sharp profile. Her eyes were almost always half-lidded, combined with her spiky, blue hair and high cheekbones, she presented a rather severe expression. Her mouth was almost always flat, or slightly frowning, which furthered the impression he had of a rather _cold_ personality, but when she spoke her voice was surprisingly warm, although very, very quiet.

"What would you like to know?" Koyuki asked.

Ranma also noticed that whenever she seemed to look at him, though her expression wouldn't change a furious blush would bloom on her cheeks. She seemed to try to avoid this by refusing to look directly at him, her own chair was turned slightly to the side as she sat stiffly in it.

A clinking sound filled the room as the martial artist shifted uneasily. "Well, I guess I should say I'd like to know about your people or country. I'm curious to know your combat skills - how you measure up to the rest of the girls back home. I certainly want to know if you're going to bring any magical princes or monsters coming to rampage around town or kidnap a certain tomboy."

Ranma straightened in his seat and lifted his arms, displaying his manacled wrists chained to the floor. "But I guess I'll start with this: _Why _am I here?_ Let me out!_"

A small window set in the heavy metal door slid open, revealing a narrow pair of gold eyes. "Not until you've had some happy-fun time with Little Sister there!" Fuuko shouted. The opening slammed shut again.

Ranma dropped his head into his hands and sighed.

* * *

><p>"So... you're not Chinese."<p>

"No, my... people are from Japan. Near it, at the very least. I believe our origins lie in an island known as Kamikura."

"Never heard of it."

"Not many people have, it would seem."

* * *

><p>Ranma stretched as far as his restraints would let him, which was to say: not much. Rolling his head and popping a few stiff joints, he turned his attention back to his co-captor. "You didn't capture me," he stated flatly. "No offense, but you don't look like somebody I'd even consider sparring against, much less getting into a fight with."<p>

He glanced towards the door. "A friend of yours?" he indicated with a tilt of his head.

"My sister," Koyuki coolly replied. "I do not know the details of how you came to be here, but I admit to being pleasantly surprised when my siblings informed me of this opportunity to speak with you alone. Matsu-kaasan told me such opportunities were extremely rare given your lifestyle."

"Matsu, your mom? She's the one who came with you and your pop to the dojo?"

"Ah, no that was my Mother. Akitsu-kaasan."

_"...huh?"_

* * *

><p>Ranma blinked as he absorbed the info dump he had just received. "You have... quite a large family."<p>

Koyuki nodded. "Nearly all of my family is combat-capable to some degree. However, from watching the videos my mother has compiled of your combat potential, I believe very few of us could keep up with you in a purely physical confrontation."

Ranma nodded, a prideful smirk growing in spite of himself. "I _am_ the best," he boasted. Then he blinked. "Wait, videos?"

The window slammed open again. "We didn't put you in there to _speak_ with him! Make with the happy-time! We're wasting film!"

* * *

><p>"You've mentioned 'ashikabi' a few times, tell me about that."<p>

"Ah..." Koyuki's face flushed. "Amongst my family, there are a few of us that have parents that... came from the island. We have a... custom where we find a compatible match for us." She finally turned to face him, her blush growing as she did so. "My father studied our people and found that individuals strong in magic seem to incite a stronger pull for us, what we call a Reaction. We are curious about you; you do not seem to utilize magical enhancements, but raw life force. Yet at the same time you seem almost saturated with magical energies."

"Eh," he made a face. "Curses. More curses than I care to remember or count. Long story." He waved to try to brush her off from that line of questioning. "So you React to someone and then?"

"If both parties agree, we perform the Winging Ritual." Koyuki looked at his raised eyebrow and looked away, her blush increasing in intensity. "We, ah, kiss each other. If a Reaction holds true, then my body undergoes a brief but lasting physiological alteration."

"You glow and grow wings."

"Yes."

"And then you said something about forever."

"Yes..." Koyuki looked down contritely. "I apologize, my Reaction to you was very strong and I took away your choice in the matter. I will do my best to serve you so you never have cause for regret."

"Serve me?" the cursed boy choked out.

"You are my ashikabi," Koyuki said simply. "We are bonded for life. For as long as I exist I will protect you with my life. For as long as you live you will have my sole attention and devotion. For as long as either of us live, we will sense the other's feelings and can never be truly alone."

"...Akane's _so_ not gonna like this..."

* * *

><p>Koyuki held up a hand and focused her magic above it. A small snowball formed and slowly grew, thin streamers of tiny water and ice crystals arrowing in from the surrounding air. "My Mother has great skill with her ice powers. Unfortunately I am not nearly so strong, my own capabilities limit me to much smaller crystals: snow."<p>

Ranma stared wide-eyed. He knew of magic, that wasn't what was so surprising. It was that he couldn't feel any usage of _ki_. Up until now, all of the major opponents he'd faced used _ki_ to empower their attacks. While a few did possess elemental abilities of their own, they often 'shaped' their _ki_ to do so. Even the Kinjakan and Gekkaja, the fire and ice treasures of the Phoenix Tribe required a flow of _ki_ from the user to utilize them. This was pure magic, which meant Koyuki could not exhaust herself physically even if she ran through all of her mana.

If the martial artist tried to do the same - and he bet he could...eventually - exhausting his _ki_ would probably knock him out for the better part of the day. If Koyuki or anyone in her family trained themselves in the Art and was able to use both magic and _ki_, it was entirely possible they'd be able to press continuous attacks for a duration even Ryouga couldn't match.

"It's not very impressive, I know," the snow-girl said in a somewhat resigned tone. She didn't seem to notice his astonished look at the beach-ball sized sphere. "It takes me quite a while to focus even this much snow for just a single attack." She turned and launched the snowball at the far wall, where it exploded and left a very minor chip in the concrete."

She waved her other arm and a swarm of snow flakes began to circle her, each having almost no physical mass but numerous enough to cloud the air between them. "My role in combat has generally been supportive. I can hinder an opponent's vision, deflect minor projectiles, or even create very fragile clones to aid in distractions." As she spoke the minor snow storm dropped to the ground and a very pale facsimile of herself rapidly built itself into place beside her, only to collapse after a few seconds.

She looked at him shyly, then turned away with another blush. "I have always hoped... with the aid of a norito I could aid my family more directly."

Ranma tilted his head as he processed her brief display of her skills. "A what?"

Koyuki simply ducked her head and blushed even more.

* * *

><p>Karin was spinning in her chair in front of the monitors showing the room from all corners when Fuuko walked in. The older girl took one look and squealed.<p>

"Did she do it?" the raven-haired girl asked excitedly.

Karin shrugged and took a potato chip...**and ate it!** "It took her about fifteen minutes to stutter out her explanation. I'm _really_ glad I'm taping this now, 'Yuki-chan _never_ stutters... Then it took her another ten minutes to convince him to even try. And now... they've been sitting there just staring at each other for the last five minutes."

"Oh," Fuuko's shoulders slumped slightly. "But this is still really good for her."

Karin nodded and munched happily. Suddenly she sat up in her seat. "Ah."

All the screens flared into white as their visual pickups were suddenly overloaded. A cold wind blew over the speakers as their sibling's powers manifested themselves. Fuuko pumped a fist.

"Woo-_HOO!_ Happy-fun time! Now we gotta convince her into REALLY-happy-fun time!"

* * *

><p>Ranma blinked and turned his eyes from the after-image of delicate looking wings burned into his retinas. He looked up into the suddenly wide eyes of the girl standing over him and waited.<p>

And waited.

He leaned back into his chair as he stared at her immobile face. _I think I broke her..._

* * *

><p>Koyuki jerked with a start as her brain rebooted itself and she stumbled back into the table beside her. Her fingers lifted to her mouth on their own accord and gently traced her lips as she relived the last few moments again... and again.. and.. she shook her head and focused back on her ashikabi staring at her.<p>

"That better not have been a really odd prank designed just to get me to kiss you," he said drolly.

"Ah," Koyuki's mind raced as she struggled to remember what she had to do next. "No," she assured him. It wasn't usually this hard for her to search her memories. Even a kiss shouldn't... a kiss...

_aa~ah..._

**erk.**

Her magic came to her rescue then and words spilled out before she could even process the thoughts that suddenly flowed through her. Streams of snow snaked around her and large crystals of ice formed stubby wings on her back.

_"The Frozen Heavens hear my pledge  
>Inundate the foes of my Ashikabi"<em>

Instinctively her arms swept out to her sides, pulling the streamers of snow alongside and shooting them out in all directions.

_"Arashi Nadare!" _(Tempest Avalanche)

The room exploded under the omnidirectional barrage of heavy snow and piercing icicles.

* * *

><p>Fuuko cautiously unbolted the door, then jumped quickly to the side as the pressure from inside blew it open and a waist-high mini-avalanche poured from the doorway. She took note of the ice shards peppering the inside, penetrating even the ten-centimeters thick armor plating and whistled softly. "Not bad," she commented.<p>

"It's too bad she took out the cameras with that," Karin said as she walked up beside her elder sister. "Note for future reference, snow does not mix well with recording equipment."

"Mmm," Fuuko agreed as she gingerly stepped into the room. She took note of the shredded remains of the furniture half buried in the snow drift and winced slightly.

"Hello," she called. "Anybody still alive?"

A noise from across the room drew her attention and she saw Koyuki slowly spinning with her eyes closed and an arm extended out in front of her, as if dowsing. Her sister suddenly paused and flicked an arm, and a plug of snow nearly a meter thick and two meters across lifted out of the floor and flew across the room to create another dent in the compromised wall.

A wet arm rose from the hole and pulled a cold-looking figure upright. Snow still covered Ranma's head and another arm lifted up to brush it clear.

Fuuko couldn't help but notice the chains slashed through, frost coating the edges as they dangled from a set of manacles that seemed oddly loose. _I could have sworn I had tightened those properly..._

Finally the last of the snow fell from the figure and a shaky Ranma-chan rose to her feet. "That," she proclaimed, "was impressive."

_Yum._ Fuuko stared at the sudden change that had come over her little sister's ashikabi. Red hair, slender waist, and a figure that was absolutely to die for. She let a catty grin grow on her face and unconsciously shifted into a more provocative stance. "Well well well..."

Ranma-chan's face shot up at her tone and instinctively stepped back, just as Karin peeked her head into the room.

"What's going on- _is that Ranma?_" She adjusted her glasses which suddenly opaqued with the reflected light. "Fu fu fu.. 'Yuki-chan, gotta say. You sure know how to pick 'em."

Ranma-chan backed up nervously some more, dragging his... her way through the snow in an attempt to get further away from the suddenly predatory siblings. She hit an obstacle and nervously turned around to see Koyuki staring back at her, furiously blushing once more.

"So, I was not mistaken earlier," the snow-girl commented. "Is this one of the curses you mentioned?"

"Er, yeah," the redhead said, relieved that the other girl was not acting like her two siblings. "Just one of many, like I said. Lot's of magic... hehe.." Despite her passive expression, there was something about the girl's eyes that made her wary... and that blush...

Koyuki tilted her head and a light seemed to come on behind her eyes. Suddenly, snow rose up from all around to encircle and pin Ranma-chan in place. The cursed martial artist frantically tried to escape, but the snow was packed in tight and she had no wiggle room or leverage at all.

"I would now like to test if my norito will be altered depending on which form you perform it with," she stated evenly, but heatedly as she leaned down into the trapped figure.

The room flashed with reflected light once again.

_**"WHOO!"**_ cheered Fuuko again. "Me next!"

* * *

><p><em>(an) - so a review made a suggestion that Nodoka was possibly a Sekirei Prime/00 for one of the missing sekirei landing ships, mostly based on a comparison between the Saotome matriarch and Miya. i think the idea has merit, but most of the humor from a lot of these crossovers lies in the invaded universe being completely unaware of what they're getting into. so i'm not sure if i'd ever use that idea._  
><em>i admit it sounds intriguing though...<em>


	19. F:SD 08

**Fate/School Days - 08**

* * *

><p>Keiko wandered down the school's hallway. It was after hours, so most of the students had left for the day, except those who took part in the after school clubs. Sakuya had joined the track team after discussion with Sakura-kaasan and Rin-kaasan. Mother had also tried to get Keiko herself involved, but their arguments for 'taking advantage of the high jump bar' only confused her.<p>

She'd briefly considered the archery club, but the slow rate of fire a bow was capable of didn't satisfy her need for projectiles; not to mention the club captain wasn't too pleased when she'd pulled out two air-guns from her school bag out of frustration and proceeded to demolish the target range.

Koyuki and Karin had been touring the remaining clubs, looking for something to catch their interests. She'd found Koyuki watching the shogi club with some interest, but no sign of her other sister. A brief discussion with her quiet sibling had pointed her down this current hallway.

Just before she reached the other end of the corridor, Keiko had to stop suddenly when a door burst open to reveal an annoyed redhead stomping out of the classroom. A cluster of students could be seen through the doorway engaged in some sort of frantic activity. Some of them were half bent over, scuttling across the floor as if chasing something. Keiko shrugged, spun on her heel, and followed Karin back down the hallway.

"What was that?" she asked curiously.

"Idiots," came the curt reply. "They call that a computer club... _hah!_ All they wanted to do was talk about flashy hardware and video games!"

Keiko blinked. "What were you expecting from them?"

"I don't know... coders, programmers, scriptwriters, something!" She pulled at her hair in frustration. "Some of them didn't even know anything about virtual terminals. And none of them knew how to crack the encryption for the school's messaging traffic."

"Um..."

"And they complain so much about the video cards on the school's machines when it's _clear _that their main problem is the lack of a multi-fractal processing system. There's no way you could hack into government systems with this stuff!"

"You didn't actually..."

"Don't you start too; I've had enough of _'Emiya-san I don't think you should..'_ or _'Emiya-san isn't that illegal?'_ I mean, really. I shouldn't have to dive into their Cyber Counter Terrorist networks to redirect a counter probe if I don't have to..." She marched several more steps before she turned around and noticed Keiko had stopped keeping pace with her.

"Do I need to call in an MTS?" Keiko said warily.

Karin fumed for a few moments more, but she did seem to be seriously considering it. Suddenly she blinked and looked sheepish. "Er, I might have... animated the president's cell phone into physically attacking him too..."

Keiko nodded slowly. "O..kay then," as she pulled out her own phone.

"Um."

Keiko paused, her thumb hovering over her speed-dial. "What?" she asked warily.

"...and the rest of the club's phones too." said the suddenly quiet hacker.

_Sigh..._ "Gestalt capabilities?" Keiko asked, her voice sounding resigned.

"Not this time..."

"...M-1/MTS-1 then, just to be safe. And I'm forwarding it to Father, too."

"...'Kay," came the meek reply.

* * *

><p><em>(an) - the TFF thread has decided the chaos of the Emiya Clan warrants their own shorthand codes for the situations they find themselves in. hopefully it'll be on the Data Sheets soon but for now:_

_M-1: rogue mechas (lv1 human sized or smaller)_  
><em>MTS-1: masquerade threatened school (lv1 small group, 1 family member involved)<em>


	20. EC: Nerima 04

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 04**

* * *

><p>Karin yelped as she dived to the side, narrowly avoiding the axe kick that cratered the ground where she'd been standing. She tucked herself into a somersault, rolling smoothly back to her feet as she dashed towards Keiko laying down a burst of suppressive fire. Her assailant avoided the barrage with a blur of movement.<p>

She was panting as she reached her ashikabi, supporting her hands on her knees as she watched Keiko attempting - and failing - to tag the red and black blur zig-zagging across the field. "He's faster than I thought," she wheezed.

Keiko simply grunted as her alternating fire emptied the chamber of one of her revolvers. She brought the weapon behind her back, hidden from view as she let the spent casings dissolve and traced in new bullets to rearm. Bringing it back out, she resumed firing as she repeated the procedure with her other weapon.

Sakuya and Koyuki ran up to their position from the other side under her cover fire. Both looked winded at the extended exercise, but otherwise unharmed. Sakuya glared at their opponent - now standing still some distance away from them with a very smug expression on his face.

"We should have brought Haru-niisan," the shadow user said between breaths. "Or Chiyo-neesan. We just can't keep up with him as we are."

Koyuki said nothing, focusing only on catching her breath.

Keiko frowned at the snow girl, "Four on one is bad enough; I don't think this plan of yours would work if we brought in more people."

Koyuki flushed slightly, and not simply from exertion. "That's... my ashikabi...for you..." she said, almost sounding proud of herself.

Keiko looked the others in the eye, then back at the martial artist now making a show of yawning and stretching for the watching crowd. She grimaced, "Matsu-kaasan said these people were used to magic?"

Karin straightened up and adjusted her glasses, "Yep. Thanks to Koyuki's boyfriend and his friends, we'd probably just be filed with the rest of the odd happenings in their lives."

"Good." Making sure her movements were clearly visible to their opponent, Keiko stopped the flow of mana and allowed her weapons to dissolve into the air. Reaching over her shoulder, she began a new trace and seemingly pulled a Remington M24 from behind her back. She watched the boy blinking in surprise and grinned. Bringing her other arm up, she traced a magazine box-cartridge filled with rune-enhanced rounds and slammed it home, throwing the bolt with a satisfying click.

"Gloves off then, Sisters."

* * *

><p><em>The Previous Day...<em>

"You want to _what?_" Ranma looked up from his position along the fence to stare down at the girl walking on the sidewalk at a more sedate pace.

"I wish to challenge you," Koyuki repeated. She looked up at him, "You mentioned that there were individuals around you that would not take my claim seriously; that in your circle the preferred method for settling disputes would be honorable combat."

After some shenanigans that went well into the late afternoon, Karin and Fuuko had finally released the boy from their hidden bunker. Koyuki naturally volunteered in escorting him off the Emiya grounds and back along the roads leading to Nerima.

"That's true..." Ranma rubbed his chin thoughtfully, still balancing himself on the fence. "But I think I also mentioned, you wouldn't stand a chance against me in a fight. You're simply not fast enough."

"It is my understanding that you would say the same thing about many of your opponents," she replied. "However, I have also observed you tend to find yourself in situations where numerical superiority is not in your favor."

"If you mean everybody gangs up on me, yeah."

"That means there is a precedent for an implied level of skill. I wish to challenge you with the aid of my sisters." Koyuki looked up to find him watching her... while walking backwards on the narrow chain-linked fence. She blinked at the casual display of balance. "We often work together in matches against our elder siblings much the same way. I am confident our teamwork will suffice in closing the skill gap between us."

Ranma shrugged. "If you say so. Tomorrow afternoon, at Furinkan High School. Do you know where that is?"

"I believe so." She left out that Father had been considering transferring her to that school to allow her to be closer to her ashikabi.

"Just look for the crowds when you get there. Stakes?" She looked up in confusion at his question. "Proving something to the fiancées is fine, is there anything you want from _me_ if you win?"

"I do not wish to incapacitate you, Ashikabi-sama." She ignored his frown over her use of his formal title and blushed. "My victory conditions for this battle will be to claim a norito from you. I will settle for that as my reward as well."

He nearly fell off the fence at that, but managed to keep himself upright - barely. "And...if I win?" he asked cautiously.

Koyuki blushed even further and looked away. She pressed her fingers together shyly, "If you win... you may do with me whatever you wish?"

There was a splashing sound as her ashikabi face-faulted straight off the fence and into the artificial river on the other side.

Koyuki smiled slightly and continued walking.

* * *

><p><em>Present...<em>

It was Ranma's turn to evade as the report of a rifle shot cracked through the air. He twisted to the side, letting the project pass over his shoulder by a safe margin... when it suddenly exploded behind him, throwing him back to the ground. He blinked in confusion, but his danger sense went off and he was back on his feet, speeding away from a shadowy appendage that tried to tangle itself up in his legs.

Sakuya was already on the move, avoiding a retaliatory charge as Ranma blurred past her former position. Her earpiece crackled and she suddenly dropped to the ground.

_"Duck,"_ came the belated warning over the radio channel as another shot cracked over her head. Like before the shot went wide of the martial artist, only to explode in front of him this time.

Keiko chambered the next round into her rifle and whispered, "_Isa_ (Ice)." The rifle in her hands thrummed with stored energy as she primed the next round. "Koyuki, your turn."

* * *

><p>Ranma frowned as he emerged from the fireball. Not only had Koyuki's Sniper sister forced him to break off his attack runs, but the explosions had been placed in such a way as to keep him from approaching from certain vectors. His tactical mind went alive, capturing all four sisters' positions at a glance. Shadow was off to his right but moving across the field. Sniper was also to the right, but seemed to be training a shot just to his left, setting up a shot in case he moved to pursue Shadow.<p>

Looking taking a quick glance in that direction he saw Koyuki standing in front of the last sister. Glasses hadn't done much since they'd broken formation again, she was simply kneeling with her hands pointed at the ground. He started to turn his attention back into figuring out what Koyuki was doing when he suddenly noticed Glasses' hands were faintly glowing.

_Magic,_ he grimaced. Sniper and Shadow were trying to delay him while Glasses did... whatever she was doing; Koyuki acting as the final defense line. Well, if they were bringing out their big guns - and he glanced warily at Sniper, wondering if that really was the biggest gun she had - it would be rude of him not to return the favor.

Barely a second had passed as he finished his planning. Spinning, he threw out a hand towards Sniper and focused his _ki._

_Mouko Takabisha!_ The energy attack seemed to catch Sniper by surprise but she managed to duck and roll out of the way in time. By doing so, however, she lost her shot and he launched himself in a blur of motion directly towards Glasses.

Shadow and Koyuki both responded almost instantly. Koyuki sent a barrage of snowballs forward, but rather than aiming it directly at him, she peppered the ground along his path with snowy patches. If he let himself run over those he'd probably get bogged down, slowing him down enough for him to be caught by a followup attack. Shadow sent tendrils snaking along the clear patches, which made him break off his attack entirely and find a new vector.

Taking to the air wasn't an option. Out in the open field he had no way to redirect himself, and Sniper seemed good enough to track him on a simple ballistic path. No, he had to stay low for this. Concentrating, he threw out his arms again, this time towards Shadow, and launched another energy blast at her.

Shadow dodged like he expected, but instead of throwing herself to the side she had moved forward, _underneath_ the blast and pressed on to get into melee range with him. He set himself into a stance, but noticed a collection of snow forming in mid air just above him. He remembered what Koyuki said about needing to take the time to form a strong attack. If she launched it too soon he'd just have a few tiny snow balls to deal with, which he could easily handle. He turned his attention back to the more immediate threat.

His danger sense flickered again just as Sniper took another shot and he ducked reflexively. However, the shot hadn't been aimed at him but rather the snow formation. As before, the rifle round exploded, but this time the explosion spread a wave of cold around the immediate area. As the snowball exploded from the impact, the cold wave solidified all the pieces into ice shards.

Ranma suddenly found himself underneath an umbrella of thousands of icy daggers, which would deal significantly more damage. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his newest fiancée smirking slightly.

He threw his arms up just as they began to rain down by the hundreds.

* * *

><p>"Ranma!" Akane stood on the sidelines, her hands hovering over her mouth in shock.<p>

Beside her sister, Nabiki narrowed her eyes as she watched the purple-haired girl continue her charge forward. Shadowy tendrils rose from her body and shot into the dust cloud, while a localized snow storm appeared to saturate the ground with white. "He won't go down that easily," she said nonchalantly.

"Of course not," said a slender girl dressed in the school's male uniform from behind them. Further behind the girl stood the Amazons, content to sit with the rest of the crowd, although Mousse was apparently watching the baseball club on the other side of the field.

Ukyo crossed her arms, "Ranchan's barely warmed up." She nodded back towards the cloud, just as a red blur shot out and knocked the shadow girl flat on her back. Tendrils reached out instinctively but were beat back as Ranma retaliated with rapid-fire fisticuffs. A palm strike finished the combo and cratered the ground around the poor girl, the shadows around her vanishing as she was knocked unconscious.

* * *

><p><em>"Sakuya!" <em>Keiko shouted over the radio. She recentered her aim on Ranma as he was straightening up from the strike which had downed her sister. As she squeezed the trigger she noted a few scratches here and there on his clothing, but nothing else. Had he dodged their combination attack almost entirely? Her shot cracked through the air and he flickered away, faster than she'd seen him move yet. "Karin!"

_"Busy..." _came the strained reply.

"Fast analysis, he came out of Icicle Fall almost completely unscathed, then he just batted away all of Sakuya's attacks with his bare hands!"

_"Wait one..."_

Koyuki stood her ground as Ranma bounced around her, throwing up a wall of snow each time he seemed to vector in and attack. Without Sakuya to help keep him away from her, he seemed to be content with probing attacks, testing her defenses. Grimacing, Keiko squeezed off one last shot from her sniper rifle and dismissed it, tracing out a handful of fragmentation grenades.

_"Fire in the hole!"_ She threw out three in a spread, then traced out her paired JTL-E .500 S&W revolvers as she closed in under the cover of their detonations.

Karin's voice was back, still sounding strained from splitting her attention between her complicated tracing and holding a conversation. _"Records show the boy's capable of throwing hundreds of punches per second in short bursts. As silly as it sounds, he probably punched away the icicles before they could hit him."_

"So, don't let him punch you," Keiko summarized. She sighted on a blur at the far edge of the detonations and laid down a burst between him and Koyuki. Ranma peeled away from the renewed assault and backpedaled, giving Koyuki some more breathing room as he planned out his next move. Keiko used the time to run up to her sisters. "How are you holding up?" she asked.

"Assuming he keeps with probing attacks I can defend indefinitely," Koyuki replied. "I am not, however, very confident about withstanding his energy attacks or his punch-combo."

"I'll try to keep him off balance as best as I can," Keiko assured her. "Gonna go check on Sakuya."

The radio suddenly crackled to life and a pained moan could be heard over the suddenly live channel. _"Ow..."_

Keiko's hand went to the receiver in her ear, "Sakuya! Are you okay?"

_"Did somebody get the plate number for that truck?"_

Karin snorted from her position.

Koyuki continued watching Ranma, circling them slowly while he waited for them to start up again.

Keiko wasn't amused, "Do you need us to get you?"

_"mmrgh... Give me another minute or so and I should be able to move. You know I heal fast.."_

Keiko nodded, though her fallen sister couldn't see the action. "Right... Karin?"

The other redhead lifted up two fingers. _Two minutes._

"Okay." Keiko concentrated on her two pistols, flooding the next three shots in each one with prana.

_Thurisaz, Algiz, Berkana..._

"Koyuki, you're up," she said as she fired the three shots from each pistol into the ground evenly spaced behind their position. As her barrier spells went up, protecting her rear and flanks, she dissolved the handguns once more and replaced them with a Browning-Miroku Citori shotgun.

Koyuki stepped behind her sister and lifted her arms. The air temperature dropped and snow began to form and circle their position. As the seconds passed, more and more snow was collected and soon it became difficult to see through the barrier.

* * *

><p>Ranma charged in with a probing attack and was met with a shotgun spread of rubber pellets. Quickly he backtracked through the barrier and noted how the pellets were picked up by the growing storm. Circling around he tried charging in from the back side, but whatever Sniper had done resisted his punches quite well. He backed off again and circled around to the front, shaking out his hand slightly.<p>

He cautiously approached the localized storm, noting how the snow spiraled through faint patterns with Koyuki at the center. As he stepped closer, Sniper lifted her shotgun in warning, but he simply grinned in response.

"Eh, I dunno how much you guys really know about what I can do... but this," he indicated the spiraling snow. "This is probably not a good idea."

Somewhere in the crowd, an elderly Amazon Matriarch half choked as she recognized the pattern as well.

Backing up a bit, Ranma charged up and launched another confidence-powered energy blast at the defensive barriers. This time, the storm picked up the attack and caught it, adding the energy to itself and increasing the potency of the barrier. Koyuki stared impassively, but quirked an eyebrow. Ranma's smile grew even wider and he stepped back a bit further.

His battle aura flared and he charged up an energy bolt using hot _ki_.

* * *

><p>"Got it!" Karin cried out triumphantly.<p>

The radio crackled again, _"Uh...girls?"_ Sakuya's concerned voice floated out.

Karin held her hands out over the open space on the ground and chanted, "Trace on!" Four large objects began to take shape simultaneously against the ground.

_"Sisters? Can you see what's going on out here?"_

The objects were roughly cylindrical, with an open cap at one end. They almost looked like a bazooka sized flashlight.

Keiko was still watching the space immediately in front of her. "What is it Sakuya? Visibility is low but he hasn't tried to get in yet."

_"He's, uh... he's throwing those energy blasts into Koyuki's Storm Wall. They're a different color, kinda reddish instead of blue like his other ones."_

Karin, who had been cackling with her success, suddenly stopped. "Wait, _what?_"

Keiko looked back over her shoulder, "What are those things?"

"They're oversized net-guns," Karin said quickly. "I also added an adhesive to the mixture. Each shot should be able to cover almost half the field, if all of us fire at once we stand a good chance of pinning him down for 'Yuki to have Happy-Fun Time. But, Sakuya, _what did you say?"_

_"I said he's shooting red energy blasts at you, like fireballs or something."_

Karin paled and hugged one of the net-bazookas to her chest. "Yuki!" she shrieked. "Stop the storm! _Now!_ _Stop the storm __**now!**_"

"Ah?" Koyuki hesitated at the unusual command. Even as she processed the words, a red blur shot through the vortex, knocking an unprepared Keiko flat on her back, and landed in a crouch in front of the snow girl.

"Sup," blue eyes stared into wide grey ones. Ranma held a chambered fist ready, cold ki swirling around the limb.

Karin's face paled. "Oh..."

_**"Hiyruu-"**_

"Crap..."

_**"...Shoten-"**_

"We're _SO_ dead..."

_**"...Ha!"**_

* * *

><p>Sakuya watched in horror as her sister's Storm Wall took a life of its own, twisting and spiraling into the sky like a vengeful dragon. She screamed as several specks ejected themselves from the top of the vortex, tumbling out of control through the air. She struggled to her feet, running towards the closest one, extending her shadows to try to catch or even cushion the falling body...<p>

...and stared in confusion as a giant flashlight fell into her waiting arms.

"Eh?"

She looked the object over, noting the anchor weights connected to the oversized gas-powered launchers, the high-tensile ropes leading into the handle-cavity and she suddenly realized it was a net gun. A monstrously oversized one, but still recognizeable.

Turning back towards the storm's origin, she saw Ranma standing unaffected by the force he had unleashed, fist still held in his uppercut pose. Latched on to his arm, hanging on for dear life to keep from being pulled away, was Koyuki. Hanging on to her leg by one arm was Keiko, her weapons long since vanished. Her other arm was wrapped around Karin's waist, who was clutching another one of the net-bazookas to her chest with her eyes squeezed shut.

The storm gradually died, sending the latter two falling unceremoniously to the ground in a heap. Koyuki somehow managed to get her legs underneath her as she landed gracefully, her hands still clutching Ranma's. It was a very picturesque sight, one Sakuya would have been happy to indulge in - and take a few pictures of - if she'd been in any state of mind other than relieved panic.

The flash of a camera and a sudden sound not unlike grinding teeth from the bystanders suggested she was not alone in that opinion.

Ranma stared smugly at the girl holding his arm.

"I think I win," he said proudly.

Koyuki stared back at him wide-eyed, a renewed blush on her cheeks as her mouth moved soundlessly. From behind the two of them Karin blinked as she realized: one, she was still alive; and two, her weapons hadn't vanished. She waved to get Sakuya's attention, and the radio crackled to life once more.

_"On three! Onetwo__**three!**__"_

Sakuya frantically searched for the trigger on the odd weapon she carried, but managed to get it properly aimed and fired in the general direction. The recoil knocked her flat on her rear as the ginormous weights shot out, dragging the very large, very sticky net behind them.

Ranma, his attention mostly on her sister, reacted too slowly to get out of the way. Koyuki, having been forewarned, jumped him just as they were bowled over by the projectile. The martial artist landed on his back, Koyuki literally glued to his front as the net wrapped around the two, just barely missing Karin and Keiko as they scrambled out of the way.

"Yes! I caught a pokémon!" Karin shouted happily. She cringed as Keiko thwapped her sister over the head.

A sudden bright flash made Sakuya look back at the pinned couple, just in time to see her sister's wings bursting into existence, cutting away the net from her back. Clearly she was taking advantage of their current immobility. Angry shouts and shrieks, as well as numerous camera flashes, showed that the crowd had noticed as well. The fiancées were already in motion, weapons at the ready to deal out swift punishment. The rest of the Wrecking Crew soon followed.

Still blissfully unaware of the rest of her surroundings, Koyuki reached up to stroke Ranma's cheek with a newly freed arm. "No, Ashikabi-sama. I believe it is _my_ victory."

"Er," Ranma's wide eyes flicked to the side, taking in the sight of the angry NWC closing in on their position.

Koyuki followed his gaze and frowned, closing her eyes and tucking her head into her chest as she began chanting.

Karin went wide eyed again, "Shields! Code: AoE-N!" she cried.

With no time spare, Keiko simply slapped her hands on the ground in front of her to create her three-point barrier for the two of them, while Sakuya summoned her shadows to wall herself off. Obliviously, the NWC finally reached the couple, extreme-violence promised in their eyes.

Koyuki's voice resonated through the air as she finished her norito chant. _**Arashi Nadare!**_

The field exploded into a fast moving avalanche of snow and ice spears; fortunately the ice was mostly aimed upwards, which prevented anybody from being skewered. The wave of snow knocked over and buried all the combatants, cresting and coming to a stop just before it reached the line of spectators. The hastily erected shields helped keep the sisters from being buried too deeply and they were soon peeking cautiously from behind them, staring across pristine field.

Their eyes turned back towards the epicenter, where Koyuki - having dispatched the distractions - lay comfortably on her ashikabi's chest with a pleased expression on her face. Ranma, for his part, looked almost as white as the snow around him, his eyes flicking between the girl lying on him and the field around.

Karin scratched her head and adjusted her glasses.

"So... we won, right?"

Keiko threw a snowball at her.

* * *

><p><em>(an) - i really wanted ranma to win, because ranma _never_ loses. on the other hand, i reaaaally wanted koyuki to win too... so._

_inb4 'overpowered!'. yes i think noritos should be overpowered. is koyuki OP with a norito? if you don't know it's coming: _yes_. i'm also taking liberties and assuming its something like powerstone. boosted stats all around, but once you actually use the norito, you go back to normal_

_can koyuki beat a NWC without a norito? not a chance. her basic abilities can barely stand up to a probing attack from ranma, she can stop mousse's projectiles, but thats it. shampoo can bust through, ryouga can definately bust through, heck even akane can bust through. and koyuki isn't fast enough to dodge akane like most the rest are._

_more or less she's completely dependent on ranma to be nearby AND willing in order to not get completely bowled over. while he tolerates her now cuz he sees her as weak, that may change. after all, she is acting almost as clingy as shampoo does, she's just somewhat nicer about it._


	21. Emiya Clan Misc: Nobody Dies

**Emiya Clan Misc - Nobody Dies**

* * *

><p>It was chaos in the Emiya Household.<p>

_"I can't track her!"_ Matsu-kaasan cried over the intercom. _"I can't get a signal!"_

_"Mongrel, I expected better security even from _you!_"_ Gil-ojisan's voice growled over the channel.

_"Why did you even bring her home with you, oniisan?"_ a shrill voice echoed.

I wisely chose not to answer.

There was a muffled explosion, felt more than heard as one of my siblings unleashed their power in one of the distant corridors. Panic, sheer panic raced through me. What _was_ I thinking?

_"Report!"_ cried the family patriarch.

_"She's in the walls!"_ replied a frantic voice. _"Arika just tried to blow us all up to get to her!"_

_"Contact!"_ another panicky voice shouted over the channel. _"Second floor, West Wi-"_

That transmission was lost in static as another explosion, this one slightly more concussive, rippled through the walls. My eyes widened, Arika had been in the _East _Wing.

_"Weapons Free!"_ came the order. _"Try to keep damage to a minimum but Weapons are authorized!"_

_"Heck yeah!"_ crowed Keiko.

A sudden clatter came from a room down the hallway. Swallowing, I nervously sidled up to the door, back against the wall. With a mental countdown I threw it open and spun into the room, taking a stance...

...and facing an empty room. I sighed audibly in relief and tapped the microphone bead in my ear. "North Wing is secure," I reported as I turned around.

I froze.

The air-conditioning grate was on the floor at my feet. Steeling myself, I looked at the ceiling from which it had fallen... and stared into two glowing red eyes peeking out from the darkness.

_"Heee~ey."_

And a pale arm snaked down to haul me up by my collar.

* * *

><p><em>(an) - this omake is an old one. i blame Silver_Sun_17 for this one (_Emiya Clan thread, pg18 post #855_). the original bunny was for NobodyDies teh!Rei to wing one of the children. she's naturally the most obvious choice because ND! has their own canon example for universe hopping._

_after this omake the idea evolved somewhat, a few of us were trying to figure out which of the sekirei kids were still unclaimed, which could possibly SURVIVE the Ree, etc. then this discussion happened:_

Silver_Sun_17: Kaien, he has _FIRE_, so...  
>throwaawy: ...oh dear god... Nana, then?<br>Silver_Sun_17: **BOOM FOR THE BOOM GOD!**

_of course once Nana was more or less selected, people like Aoshi were suggested just on account he's got the power of the Blue, we had a Gendo vs Shirou staring contest complete with lasers and...  
>...and then the whole thing was shoved deep into crack territory and forgotten. i think the main Omakes thread started their own too so... shrug?<em>


	22. F:SD 09

**Fate/School Days - 09**

* * *

><p>Lunch time.<p>

A cheerful looking boy walked into Class 1-1. After scanning the room briefly, he made a beeline towards a desk at the center of the room and waved. "Oi, Sato!"

Another boy looked up from his bento at the call and lifted an eyebrow. "Yo, Harima. What do you want?" he asked bluntly.

Harima's grin didn't waver, "Information." He dropped in the desk next to his friend and leaned forward. "What can you tell me about Emiya-san?"

Sato froze, chopsticks halfway to his mouth. "Which one?" he asked, suddenly wary.

"There's more than one? Excellent." Harima clapped his hands and rubbed them together excitedly. "The.. redhead?"

The other boy didn't visibly move, but his eating utensils creaked under sudden pressure. _"Which... one?"_

Harima's smile got even wider, if possible. "Ooh, this should be good. The one with the glasses."

_*snap*_

"No. No no no no. Nononononono_no_." Sato stabbed the remains of his chopsticks towards his friend. "You want to stay away from that one. She's _crazy._"

The smile wavered, just slightly. "That just makes it more interesting, right?"

Sato stared at his lunch with a forlorn expression. He slowly put his chopsticks away and buried his face in his hands. "What brought this on?"

"Well..."

* * *

><p>Harima was walking through the hall on the way to art class. Turning the corner, he succumbed to one of the most overused cliches for meeting people.<p>

He bumped into a girl and knocked her down, scattering books and school supplies everywhere.

There was even an outcry. It wasn't anything close to a "Kyaah!" but that's all the boy heard.

"I'm so sorry!" he said, leaning down and reaching out a hand. "Here, let me help you with those."

The girl stared back at him, eyes vibrating in sudden emotion, her face blushing as red as her long hair. Her braids gently floating in the breeze. She stammered something he couldn't hear, obviously flustered, and quickly gathered up her various papers and books back into her arms. She grabbed at one of the papers he'd picked up as she brushed past him.

"Thanks a lot!" she gushed as she ran down the hall.

* * *

><p>"She was so cute, so shy. I had to ask another student passing by for her family name." Harima sighed as he rested his head on an upright hand.<p>

Sato's eye twitched. "That... does not sound right."

"So!" Several nearby students jumped as hands slammed down on the desk. "I heard she's in your class. Do you know what she likes? What are her hobbies?"

"You can't be serious."

Harima tilted his head and schooled his face into... some sort of expression. It was probably supposed to look refined. "I'm always serious."

Sato had no words for that.

* * *

><p>In the cafeteria, a red-faced redhead slammed her bento box onto the table, making her sisters jump.<p>

Koyuki and Sakuya exchanged glances as they saw their sister's expression. Wordless communication jumped between them in looks and minute gestures, finally Koyuki sighed.

"What is the matter?"

Karin was fuming. "I was using the free period today to do an analysis on the new OS Mom was putting together for next year's tablet PC. I had it finished, had everything nice and collated together, and then some blind idiot knocks me over and scatters it all across the floor!"

* * *

><p>"Firstly," Sato said, his head in his hands. "She's not a shy girl. Not. At. All. I <em>really<em> think you're projecting too much."

"Ah, a genki-girl? Even better!"

"..."

* * *

><p>"I'd spent the <em>whole class period<em> on that! I was just so furious I was seeing red!" Karin stabbed at her bento viciously. "That son of a-"

* * *

><p>"I won't deny she's cute, heck, all of her sisters are."<p>

"Yes... about those sisters..."

Sato's head slipped out of his hands and landed on his desk.

* * *

><p>"And <em>then <em>he gets his greasy paws on the circuit diagram I'd been working on too. He rubbed out an entire sector!" Karin groaned and scratched at her head. "Argh, the one time I use a _pencil_ of all things, and he has to smudge the graphite everywhere. Thanks a lot..."

* * *

><p>"Four of them all the same age? Quadruplets?"<p>

Sato shuddered at the mental image that formed, unbidden, in his head. _Four Karins..._

Harima leaned forward, an odd glint in his eye. "Do you think they all share the same interests?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"Oh _GOD_ no!" Sato clutched at his eyes as if to claw them out.

* * *

><p><strong>"Was he cute?"<strong> Sakuya asked.

Karin lifted her head long enough to give her sister a murderous glare.

* * *

><p>Sato sighed, staring at his very oblivious, very doomed friend. "Harima, if you don't listen to <em>anything<em> else I say, just hear this."

Harima leaned forward eagerly.

Sato clapped him on the shoulder. "I will miss you, old friend."

Harima looked confused... but undeterred.

Minutes later, after the still-cheerful boy had left, another classmate walked over to Sato's desk.

"Nobody will blame you," Nameless Minion #1 said as he clapped #4's shoulder. "You tried."


	23. F:SD 10

**Fate/School Days - 10**

* * *

><p>Sato was somewhat surprised to still find his friend still alive the next day. He was even more surprised to find him wearing a large grin on his face. He looked around cautiously as he walked up to the other boy standing in the middle of the hallway.<p>

"So?" he asked. "How did it go?"

"Didn't" Harima replied easily. "Couldn't find her after lunch at all. But~" He pulled a small envelope out of his pocket and waved it. "I found _this_ in my locker today."

Sato looked at the the small paper, then glanced out the nearest window. Nope, the sky was not falling. "So... that's-"

Harima nodded. "She must have heard about me! She wants to meet me... right here! She's so cute, she's got this whole cloak and dagger thing going on too."

Something about that raised the hairs on the back of Sato's neck and he looked around nervously some more. "How so?"

"Oh she's got this weird sign/countersign thing going on. Like, according to this letter, I'm supposed to say 'Emiya-Jack' out loud and then I wai"

There was a sudden rush of air and Sato spun back around, only to find an empty corridor. Eyes wide, he nervously backpedalled, trying to keep sight of everything at once. Nothing, no signs of movement. No signs of life. No sign of Harima. Not even a scream.

Terrified, he turned and ran for the safety of homeroom.

* * *

><p>It was dark.<p>

It's a cliche phrase, but it really was. He shifted around a bit; yep, he was tied down to a chair. All that was left was for-

_*click*_

Ah, there's the spotlight. He squinted against the glare as his eyes slowly adjusted to the sudden light. He still couldn't see anything but there was a faint whisper of movement, and then a voice - female - echoed from behind him.

"He doesn't look that bad." A flurry of sounds, the sounds of somebody getting slapped and fighting back.

He coughed to grab their attention and grinned for his audience. "Ladies, there's no need to fight. There's plenty of me to go around."

There was a sudden silence, then another voice from in front of him. "That was _terrible_."

"Does he ever think of anything else?" asked third voice.

"Unfortunately, no," said a fourth. "Harima-kun is unfortunately fairly single-minded. He has.. a reputation in the class."

"_Really_ now~" drawled the first voice. Slow, measured steps stalked around him just outside of the circle of light until they sounded from in front of him. "Hm, he's a bit younger than I normally go for, but if you don't want him, Little Sister, then I could always-"

"No." That was voice three, from directly behind him. He craned his head back to try to get a glimpse but winced as he accidentally stared directly into the spotlight above him.

He blinked his eyes as Karin Emiya walked past him and spun around to stare closely at his face. She tilted her head to one side, then the other as her eyes roamed over his body. Finally she straightened with a small sigh.

"Nothing," she said as she spun around to leave the lighted area.

"You shouldn't give up that easily," voice number one said reproachfully. "You hardly know him."

"I know _of_ him," Karin replied.

He stared back and forth into the darkness, trying to pick out signs of the people involved. "Um, what's going on? I have a note...?"

The fourth figure stepped into view, revealing a girl he recognized as one of his classmates. "Harima-kun," Sakuya greeted him. "What are your intentions towards our sister?"

"Sakuya-chan?" He gaped, then blinked. "Wait, Karin-chan is your sister?"

"When did I suddenly become _'Karin-chan'_?"

"Hush."

Sakuya simply stared at him and he began to sweat slightly. "Well, um, she's... cute?"

His classmate smiled sweetly at him, but otherwise didn't move. "And?"

"And... she's got a great personality?"

There was a sudden spout of laughing from voice number two. He watched as Karin crossed the lit area to the opposite side and there was a renewed sound of catfighting.

Sakuya was still smiling. "And?"

"And... uh..." he tried to ignore the sudden yelps and shrieks from the two girls. "...she's cute?"

"Wow, you really _do_ have a one-track mind," snorted voice number two, a bit breathy after laughing so hard.

Sakuya frowned slightly and something about her expression sent off warning bells in his head. **"I expected better... even from you, Harima-kun,"** she said sadly. She thumbed a switch in her hand and the lights clicked off again.

...

He jolted, "Hey, what poked me?"

* * *

><p>Koyuki idled outside in the hallway, pretending to watch the PE classes outside through the window. She studiously ignored the sudden unmanly shrieks and cries coming from the room behind her, keeping most of her attention for any movement at the open end of the corridor.<p>

There was the sounds of whips cracking, more screaming, and what sounded like a buzzsaw from the door, but she paid it no mind.

She perked up as she felt the thin layer of ice she'd laid down be tread upon and she took one step away from the wall to rap on the door in a short pattern. The noise quieted down into silence and she was back at the window just as a member of the school staff turned the corner and walked past. Koyuki nodded respectfully as the teacher made his way to the other side and disappeared into the cross-traffic.

She leaned back again to tap out an all-clear signal, and the room behind erupted into chaos once again.

She paid it no mind.

* * *

><p>Harima slumped in the chair. That... there... such things were not <em>meant<em> to bend that way...

The lights clicked back on and he flinched.

The handle of a whip was tucked under his chin and lifted his head up, he flinched away from the smiling face of voice number one; the school's idol, Fuuko Emiya. Emiya,_ Emiya_... how had he not made the connection earlier?

Fuuko hummed in approval and stepped back again. "He held up pretty well, actually. Are you sure you don't want him?"

Karin threw an annoyed glance to the side, where Keiko continued smirking. "_Quite_ sure," she growled. "He's even useless as a minion... But still." She stepped forward and made sure Harima was looking her in the eye. "I probably won't be using you fairly often, but when I do, you do _exactly_ whatever I say. Got it?"

He immediately nodded.

She leaned back and crossed her arms. "You're now Nameless Extra #18. And in case you didn't quite realize, I'm turning down your confession."

"That's... perfectly fine!" Harima said quickly. "Completely understandable!"

Karin stared down at him a few more moments then spun on her heel and walked over to the door. She tapped on it twice, and stepped out without hesitation when it opened. Sakuya and Keiko trailed after her; the former waving happily, the latter still trying to hold in her laughter.

Fuuko stepped back into view, a catty grin on her face. "So," she chirped, hands on her shapely hips. "You think of yourself as a ladies man, hmm?"

Harima squirmed nervously.

* * *

><p>Koyuki closed the door again as she watched her sisters heading back to their classes. She leaned against the window to watch the fields again, her back to the closed off room.<p>

She paid it no mind.


	24. EC: Nerima 05

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 05**

* * *

><p>Koyuki was lost.<p>

Not physically, she knew where she was this time. It came from the repeated visits necessary to acclimate herself with her ashikabi's habits and the people around him.

She was stepping into a world she had avoided for most of her life. Despite the wishes of Father, she had maintained her closest connections with her family, rarely allowing herself to step away from that comfort zone. Even if most of her siblings were considered introverted by 'normal' standards, they still had some experience in interacting with outsiders.

Father wished to accompany her, but she had declined. Karin, Keiko, and Sakuya had likewise offered their companionship, but she had also turned them down. Nervous as she was, she realized this would be something she had to do herself.

Fortunately she wasn't entirely unprepared. She reached into the small bag hanging from her shoulder and pulled out a tablet computer. Powering the device on, she navigated her way to a bookmarked location and briefly scanned the screen.

_How to Make Friends_

She swallowed nervously and looked at the building in front of her. Steeling herself, she opened the door and walked into _Ucchan's Okonomiyaki._

* * *

><p><em>Meet a Friend of a Friend<em>

The door chimed as a new customer pushed their way through, causing the proprietor to toss out a greeting reflexively.

"Welcome to _Ucchan's!_ Take a seat and... oh it's you." Ukyou Kuonji frowned as she finished grilling up a customer's order. A flick of her spatula sent the pancake flying through the air, deftly caught by a cute-looking girl serving the tables. "Go ahead and have a seat," she told the newcomer. "I'll be with you shortly."

Koyuki nodded and wordlessly made her way to a corner table far from the populated areas of the small restaurant. She waited patiently for several minutes as the last of the weekend lunch-rush was served. Ukyou walked over to the door to flip the sign on the door from 'Open' to 'Closed', then made her way to the table where the snow girl was nursing a glass of ice water Konatsu had given her.

"So, why are you here?" the chef asked. Her voice was even, lacking any hostility, but not displaying any warmth either.

Koyuki was silent for a few moments, long enough for Ukyou to wonder if she had fallen asleep with her eyes open. But finally she spoke in a voice that was far quieter than she had expected. "I wished to get to know the people close to my ashikabi." Ukyou quirked an eyebrow at the unusual word but waited for her to finish. "I wished... to be friends."

Ukyou regarded her steadily. This quiet girl seemed very different from what she had seen at Furinkan. That girl seemed composed, especially when faced with the overwhelming ability of her Ranchan. There was also no mistaking how forward she had been, stealing a kiss from the boy when he was immobilized. The thought made her clench a fist slightly, but she slowly relaxed it.

This girl in front of her seemed almost timid, self-conscious, like a shrinking violet. The type that would shrink away from holding hands with someone. It was a very odd contrast.

She decided not to address it directly just yet. "Ashikabi... is that another word for fiancée?" she asked.

Once again the girl was silent for several heartbeats, as if she was collecting her thoughts. "In... a matter of speaking," she finally said. Definitely not a conversationalist. "Ranma-sama and I, we are tied together by the... rules of my people."

Ukyou narrowed her eyes. "You're not from China, are you, Sugar?"

Koyuki shook her head. "No. Why does everybody keep asking that?"

"Never mind." Ukyou gave her a frank stare. "I'll have to be honest with you. A lot of people have claims on Ranchan. I'm not going to claim anything like seniority or anything like that-" _because if that were true, Akane would win..._ "but you should know some of us have agreements with his family that go as far back as when we were children."

"From what Mother has told me, ours was arranged before our birth," Koyuki said matter-of-factly.

Ukyou gritted her teeth. _Just like the Tendou's!_ "Like I said... we're not going by seniority. Nothing gets decided until Ranma chooses one of us himself." She noticed the girl ducking her head, as if in apology. "I'm curious, though, you seemed a lot different when you were fighting him."

Koyuki's head remained lowered. "My sisters. They... encourage me."

"Are you like this all the time if you're not with them?"

"I do not know," the other girl said meekly. "I am rarely away from my family for any length of time."

Ukyou sighed. Seeing her like this triggered some maternal instinct in her, she almost felt like giving the girl a hug. It was almost like Konatsu in reverse... she suddenly straightened in her chair.

"Quick question, you're not a guy cross-dressing are you?"

Koyuki blinked in confusion. "Ah?"

* * *

><p><em>That went well<em>.

Another hour of talking, and a peace offering of okonomiyaki sent Koyuki on her way. It was still the early stages, but it seemed Ms. Kuonji was at least neutral, if not leading towards friendly. Koyuki munched contentedly on the piece of takeout as she made her way to the next destination. On the way, she pulled out her tablet again and consulted the guide again.

Buoyed by her earlier success, she turned the next corner and walked down the street towards the _Cat Café_

* * *

><p><em>Make Eye Contact and Smile<em>

"Welcome to the _Nekohanten!_"

Cologne, Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku, watched the idiot boy jump to greet the new customer. That was good. The fact he was talking to the plants flanking the doorway was not so good. It was an opinion apparently shared by the girl who had just walked in, she was staring at the bespectacled boy with wide eyes and an odd grimace on her face. She quickly threw a chopstick with her usual force and accuracy, braining the boy and nearly knocking him into the wall.

_"Idiot boy,"_ she snapped in Mandarin. _"Put on your glasses and help our guest to a table!"_

As Mousse dutifully corrected his eyesight and began leading the customer, she recognized the unique blue hair and narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. She shrugged and turned towards the back of the store. _"Great-Granddaughter, please come out to the customer area."_ Without waiting for a reply, she balanced herself on her staff and hopped her way out to the tables.

"Put up the 'Closed' sign, boy," she ordered him in Japanese. She dropped herself into the chair opposite of her guest and ran a critical eye over her. She didn't have the build of a fighter, which matched what she had seen in that entertaining display earlier in the week. She sensed the presence of magic on the girl, though it didn't seem as strong as when she had brought out the snow which had flattened her granddaughter and the idiot boy.

Shampoo had emerged from the back, throwing a curious glance at the snow girl as she padded over and took a seat next to the matriarch. Mousse maintained his position by the door, not joining in the conversation as was proper for a male.

"What brings you here, child?" she asked without preamble.

Like she had with Ukyou, Koyuki explained her desire to connect with the other fiancées and other people close to Ranma. The girl seemed slightly nervous in front of Shampoo, which was also at odds with the Amazons' initial impressions of her. As she concluded her request, Cologne composed herself in a manner that befit her status as an Elder.

"The boy Saotome belongs to the Joketsuzoku," she said with authority. "Strong males are rare in the world, my great-granddaughter has already laid down her claim. By our laws, he is to be her husband so that we may strengthen our Tribe."

Koyuki nodded. "I do not dispute your claim, ma'am. But if I may correct you on one assumption. For my people, the term 'Ashikabi' does not imply such a simple link towards a particular individual. When we choose our Ashikabi, we bond with them on a metaphysical level. Today's society would call it 'marriage', but for us it goes beyond that."

Cologne's eyes became ice-cold. "The Joketsuzoku do not recognize any claims made by outsiders. Ranma _will_ be Shampoo's husband. We are biding our time now to allow the boy to come to his senses on his own, but we will not suffer any interference that has potential to threaten that goal." She arched an eyebrow. "Despite your impressive display the other day, I don't think you're in a position to question us. Also, my proper title is 'Elder', or 'Matriarch'."

"Or old-hag."

Cologne sent another chopstick directly into Mousse's forehead, earning a yelp from the boy.

Koyuki conceded the point with a nod. "I do not wish to override your claim, Elder. I would like to point out, however, that my people have a history of an Ashikabi 'Winging' numerous individuals. There need not be any conflict over this matter."

"Your people practice polygamy?"

"It can be called that... You may have noticed I had the aid of three others during our dual with Ranma-sama. Each of those individuals are my sisters, though we share the same Father, we are born of different mothers."

"Sisters in Battle?" Cologne mulled over the thought. "There have been rare moments in our history where we have accepted such women into the Tribe as such." She gave the snow girl a narrow glare. "As I said before, however, I'm not entirely sure you qualify."

Her great-granddaughter sniffed, "Shampoo can beat New Girl easy. Can not accept weakling as Sword Maiden."

Koyuki's eyes danced nervously between the two. "I-I would like to point out I am not a front-line combatant," she stammered, "my role is usually supportive and-"

"Are you refusing my great-granddaughter's challenge?" Cologne snapped. "I can assure you cowardice will void your chances completely."

Koyuki's mouth set in a thin line as she considered her options. "If for some reason I do not meet your expectations, will I be allowed the chance to make a further attempt?"

The other girl smiled tightly. "Shampoo always accept challenge."

Koyuki closed her eyes and nodded slowly.

* * *

><p><em>That... did <em>not _go so well_.

"'Yuki-chan!" Karin was the first to notice her sister staggering through the door.

"What? Koyuki?" Family members pressed in as they helped the limping snow girl to a nearby couch to lay her down.

Chiyo was over in a flash, running a hand-held scanner over her body as she consulted her tablet computer. For once the girl wasn't smiling as she read off the screen. "Fractured arm, dislocated shoulder, bruised ribs, mild concussion. Koyuki what happened?"

"Negotiations temporarily broke down," she replied weakly.

There was another noise of movement and she felt the comforting presence of Father hovering over her. "Koyuki, _what happened?_"

"I was judged, and found lacking."

"Koyuki..."

"The Amazons respect strength, Father." Koyuki coughed, the motion sending another flash of pain through her chest. "I did not possess a sufficient amount of skill to answer them."

There was another whisper of movement and she felt the air chill around her.

"Akitsu," she heard Father call out sharply.

"Mother, don't... please," Koyuki called out as well. The temperature rose, just barely, and she felt her mother's hands on her own intact one. She opened her eyes and tried to smile at her through the pain. "I will answer them in my own time."

Akitsu-kaasama didn't say anything, but her eyes spoke of her worry.

Koyuki turned her eyes towards the Emiya patriarch. "Father," she said. "I would like to request training."

"You don't need that, 'Yuki!" Karin shouted angrily. "Just let me get one of Mom's satellites and I'll-"

Chiyo turned her smile on the redhead and she quieted down with a sudden _'meep'_.

Shirou turned warm eyes on his injured daughter. "We'll talk about this later, Koyuki. You should get some rest." He looked up and scanned the growing crowd. "Chiyo, find your mother and take Koyuki to the infirmary."

" 'Kay."

"Everybody else, back to what you were doing. Clear out, _now_." Not waiting to make sure the remaining children and parents followed his orders, he spun on his heel and headed for the door.

With a final glance at her daughter, Akitsu rose from her position and followed her husband.

Nobody decided to argue.

* * *

><p><em>(an) - erm... major problem i have with inserting new love-interests into ranma is that they tend to 'fix everything' in an unbelievable/OOC manner. that was the main reason i didn't want to do an xover in this 'verse to begin with. this caused a dilemma, i wanted to show koyuki interacting with everybody, but i didn't want her to fix relations her way either. if suddenly everybody went, "oh a harem is fine!" that sorta kills the whole universe. likewise if they magically just accepted (themselves + 'yuki), that'd be out of character for them too._

_naturally i don't want to have them all antagonistic for the same reason, it's another silly trait which does nothing but 'drive' ranma into her arms since she's the only sane one._

_i decided to have the amazons be the antagonists because they're very hidebound, and if you can think of a way within their code to act in some way, it'll drive all three of them. the 'shield maiden' or 'battle sisters' idea has been used in a couple other fics so i tried it out here. it also gives koyuki a way out, she doesn't need to BEAT shampoo, she just has to impress her enough to be accepted._

_ukyou is the most level-headed of the fiancées so i had her accept her almost unquestioningly, if grudgingly. still haven't thought of a method for akane. kodachi i plan to just have every beat up. i hate kodachi._

_•• if you DO think she's still heading down that path, feel free to leave a review - **or better yet, post it on the forums** - and let me know which parts seem Sueish to you so i can try to correct it ••_


	25. EC: Nerima 06

_(a/n) - i guess everybody likes nerima omakes better than my other original ones. sad :(_

_on the other hand i was running out of original ideas for a slice of life anyhow. yay?_

_anyhow, for all that i was dreading this, it was remarkably fun to write. beware of info dumps. i tried to space it out as much as i could. more notes at the bottom_**  
><strong>

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 06**

* * *

><p>"Welcome to the <em>Nekohan-<em> ...urk!"

Shirou held the door open as Akitsu walked past him, then turned to smile at the white-robed greeter. Mousse, for once, had his glasses on and was staring nervously at the ice woman as she entered the café proper.

"Hello," Shirou said warmly, drawing the boy's attention back to himself. "I would like to speak with the proprietor of this fine establishment."

Mousse grimaced, "Ah, she is-"

"She is available," interrupted a gravelly voice. Shirou and Akitsu both turned to regard the Elder, balanced at eye-level atop her walking stick. "Close the store again, Idiot Boy," she ordered, keeping her eyes focused on Shirou's. She tilted her head, inviting the two further in as she spun around and pogo'd towards a nearby table. "Shampoo!" she called out, taking a seat nearby.

Shirou felt Akitsu stiffen at the mention of the girl's name. He reached back to still her hand with his own, then led her to the table occupied by the owner. After they each took a seat, they joined Cologne in waiting for her great-granddaughter to come out from the back rooms.

"I'm taking the liberty of assuming you require her presence for this discussion," the Elder explained.

"That would be the case," Shirou replied neutrally. "I appreciate your foresight."

Nothing more was said in the short period it took for Shampoo to enter the room. Like Mousse, she broke step slightly as she noticed Akitsu's presence, but otherwise made no other reaction as she stepped up to the table. Stopped beside her chair, she bowed formally to her ancestor. "Great-Grandmother, Shampoo come as requested."

The Elder nodded, "Have a seat, Great-Granddaughter."

She did.

Cologne finally turned her full attention to the man before her. "You have questions," she said bluntly.

Shirou narrowed his eyes as he regarded the woman before him. She was easily the one of the oldest persons he'd ever seen. Though her body was frail, her casual balancing on her gnarled staff suggested great dexterity and control. In addition, he picked up the strong scent of spring water and forests from her, indicating she possessed a mastery of magical energies, not just life energies. The little byplay left no doubt in his mind that she knew _exactly_ why he had come, whether she knew who he _was_ was another matter entirely, but he made a note to be on his guard around this woman.

He smiled tightly and acknowledged her statement with a stiff nod. "I come seeking answers," he clarified subtly. "But where are my manners? I am Emiya Shirou, a humble repairman." He held up Akitsu's hand between his own, the very image of a doting husband. "This would be my lovely wife, Akitsu."

Akitsu kept her stare locked on Shampoo, but blushed slightly at his introduction. "A pleasure," she said softly.

Cologne's eyes were twinkling in amusement as she acknowledged his words. "I am Cologne, a humble proprietor of this simple ramen shop, the _Nekohanten_. I believe you are familiar with my Great-Granddaughter, my heir, Shampoo."

"We've met," Shirou said. He knew she didn't believe one piece of his backstory, though it was completely true. Much the same way he knew her introduction was completely factual as well, though equally lacking in useful information. He lowered his and his wife's hands below the table again, but kept her hand in his own.

"I've come to address a concern I have regarding a certain incident that occurred on these premises not a few hours ago."

Cologne inclined her head politely, "The _Nekohanten_ does not wish our customers to be displeased with our services. Please let us know the nature of your concern."

"My daughter was assaulted." His smile was the same, but his eyes hardened fractionally as he turned to their fourth member. "By your great-granddaughter."

He felt the air temperature drop dramatically and he squeezed Akitsu's hand in warning. It was several seconds before she got herself under control and let it warm up again.

Cologne did not look perturbed, in fact she looked faintly relieved she would not have to maintain this air of civility. "Your daughter," she said carefully, "challenged a fully-trained Warrior of the Joketsuzoku to honorable combat."

"What was the nature of this challenge?" Shirou said, maintaining his own calm expression and tone.

"If you can manage to keep your woman under control for the next few minutes, I will attempt to explain." Cologne made no secret of the contempt she felt for a woman who allowed herself to be controlled by a man. Her eyes twinkled merrily as Akitsu's glare shifted from Shampoo to herself.

* * *

><p>"The Joketsuzoku are an ancient and honorable tribe that goes back well into the millennia. We are small in numbers and beset from all sides by various other factions and powers. To help keep our people strong, we have several binding laws."<p>

She raised one gnarled finger. "The first is the Law of Secrecy; we cannot afford to let our tribe's secrets and techniques fall into enemy hands. There are various penalties for spies, traitors, the usual riff-raff. Furthermore, if a warrior from outside our tribe should defeat one of our numbers in honorable combat, they are left with two choices. She will be given the choice to join the tribe as an Honored Sister and learn our ways, but she will be bound by all of our laws as well. If she refuses to join our tribe, she is then an enemy who has witnessed our secrets and will be put to death at any cost."

"She." Shirou jumped at the pronoun. "Not all warriors are female, no matter how much you wish that fact to be true."

Cologne conceded the point with another nod. "That would bring me to the second of our laws, the Law of Expansion; we are an tribe isolated from the world by choice. Our community is naturally a small one and within several generations we are unable to be self-sustaining. We require new blood."

"The Honored Sisters."

"Indeed, that is one way can acquire new warriors and techniques directly. Still, as much as we dislike the notion, we require our males as well." There was a sudden blur of motion, nearly too fast for Shirou to see, and the door-guard yelped in pain as a chopstick bounced off the crown of his head. "Watch the door, Idiot Boy!," the Elder snarled. "This conversation is not meant for you!"

"As you can see, even for a village of warriors, our males tend to be clumsy and useless."

Shirou nodded, though he really didn't see it...

"There are times when we send out our warriors. They travel across the land, looking for promising males. Males that are good breeding stock. Males that will work hard in the fields. Occasionally, we find something even better; a male that is a strong warrior themselves. Even if they never train up to our standards, they ensure very healthy offspring, and the tribe will prosper."

Cologne threw a glance at her silent relative as she continued. "On the _very rare_ occasion, we find a male capable of besting a Sister in honorable combat. At that time it becomes imperative that we stake a claim on that individual and bring him back to the tribe."

* * *

><p>Shirou was silent for a few moments as he ran it all through his mind. The very presence of the Joketsuzoku - a Chinese tribe - in Japan, the presence of a tribal Elder, and their combined fixation on a certain chaotic martial artist...<p>

"Saotome was in China."

_Score one for the male, he wasn't _completely_ clueless._ "You are correct. Ranma Saotome displayed a level of skill not seen outside our village for centuries. My daughter has laid her claim, one our people will back fully. She _will_ return to our village with the boy, or not at all."

Again, Shirou was silent for a few moments. Finally he looked at the younger girl directly, "You don't seem to have made much headway in your goal. You certainly have not managed to impress your claim on the rest of his... admirers."

Shampoo glared back at him, carefully avoiding Akitsu's eye.

"The situation is more complicated than we had anticipated. This is true," the Matriarch admitted. "The boy is strong enough and stubborn enough that a direct confrontation is not feasible. The force required to subdue him would also damage him so much it would make him useless for our purposes. He also has a great deal of emotional ties to this area as well, my great-granddaughter has been unable to convince him on the emotional level thus far.

"The only option left available to us," the old woman's eyes narrowed, "is to take out the competition."

"The other fiancées," Shirou bit out harshly.

"They are merely obstacles to our goals," Cologne said, equally hard. "To a Warrior of the Joketsuzoku, an obstacle is to be overcome, to be eliminated..."

She turned her gaze on Akitsu, "... to be killed."

The air flash froze in a heartbeat. Shirou all but pulled Akitsu into his lap to control her, holding down her arms with his own as icicles formed in the air around the table, ready to impale their targets. Shampoo was half out of her seat, ready to spring away from ground zero at a moment's notice.

The Emiya patriarch turned to glare at his opposite number. Cologne was still casually perched on her walking stick, looking relaxed and amused at the demonstration. Her casual dismissal of the threat incensed the normally passive Sekirei even further, and it was a long minute before she finally calmed down enough to dissolve her attack.

"I know what you will ask of me next," the Elder said evenly. "This area attracts fighters like locusts to a cropfield. All the _obstacles_ here are battle-hardened enough to be able to hold their own against my great-granddaughter. Unfortunately she cannot defeat them before the altercation attracts more combatants. With two exceptions: the Tendou girl is one, but she is under the direct protection of the boy, else she would be the first to fall. Your daughter is the other."

She finally addressed Akitsu directly. "Your control of your element is very impressive, my dear. But like your daughter, you have no skill in the martial arts. Should your magic be compromised you would not survive a single assault from one of my Sisters in Battle. For an Elder such as myself it would be child's play to to evade you long enough to strike mortal blow. _You_ are _not_ a warrior."

"Enough," Shirou's voice was cutting. "While I admit Koyuki is not the most physical of combatants, that does not give you leave to insult her or my wife."

"On the contrary," came the retort. "When a woman requires the _protection_ of a male to safeguard herself, it is an insult to Joketsuzoku everywhere."

"Welcome to Japan," Shirou said, abandoning all pretense of civility. "That aside, you told a very _fascinating_ story and I'm sure I've learned much from it, but it still doesn't answer why my daughter was used as a punching bag."

"Your daughter, weak as she was, had the gall to challenge my great-granddaughter to the Rite of Equals."

"Let me guess, it involves 'Honorable Combat'."

"In_deed_. As I may have mentioned before, the Joketsuzoku are often in shortage of available breeding stock. It is not common, but neither is it unheard of for a single male to be shared amongst various warriors. Such benefits are only available to Sisters of the tribe, for obvious reasons."

At this Shirou could only gape. "... She tried to join the Joketsuzoku?"

"If she were to achieve the status of an equal - a Sister in Battle - then by our customs it would be _possible_ for her to share the boy, though that would depend on my great-granddaughter's charity once she achieves her claim."

Shirou's head fell into his hands and he groaned. "She wants to re-challenge you," he said, his voice muffled.

"I commend her spirit, if not her abilities," Cologne said. "However, this is the only way the Joketsuzoku would possibly allow her own claim on the boy. Any further attempts to claim him for herself will be met with deadly force. This is also why my great-granddaughter punished her so severely."

Shirou's head lifted slightly. "Excuse me?"

Shampoo sniffed, "It not right for New-Girl to kiss _airen_. Shampoo only allowed." She suddenly jumped back as a short-sword embedded itself in the table between her arms. "Wha- _Mousse?_"

"Whatever it was, I didn't do it!" came the shouted reply.

Cologne had been on the verge of throwing another chopstick at the boy, but narrowed her eyes at Shirou, head still mostly down, hands flat on the table. "Mr. Emiya..."

"You broke my daughter's arm, dislocated her shoulder, cracked her ribs, and gave her a concussion... because you were _jealous?_" His voice was ice cold.

"Shirou Emiya," Cologne's own tone was deathly quiet. "I will not have you raise a hand against myself or my great-granddaughter. If you, a male, wish to challenge us to honorable combat, we will of course accept." She turned her glare on Akitsu. "However, I see you clearly have a family of your own, so there will be no possibility of you joining our tribe. That leaves only one option for you."

Shirou shook his head, "I assure you there will be no 'honorable combat' between us. I also promise you I will not raise my hand against you this day." He tilted his head down, "Look, my hands are still right here."

Cologne broke her glare for a brief moment to ensure, yes his hands were flat on the table. His arms not tensed for sudden movement. And then she had to throw her head back as another sword, a claymore dropped down in front of her as well. "What in _blazes?_"

"I do not suffer threats against my family lightly," Shirou said quietly. A falchion dropped where Shampoo's hand would have been, had she not pulled it back with a yelp.

"If Koyuki decides to challenge you again, I will allow her to do so. She is old enough to be making such decisions on her own." He said that as much for Akitsu's hearing as the Joketsuzoku's, while another three blades thunked down on the chairs opposite them. Shampoo and Cologne had long since abandoned their seats for the open space of the restaurant floor.

Akitsu was still for a moment, but she grudgingly nodded.

"Shirou Emiya!" Cologne hissed, "I do not know what tricks you are playing, but cease this at once!"

Shirou remained seated, his hands still in plain sight. "This is a _warning_ for you..."

A broadsword dropped in in front of Shampoo as she backflipped out of the way.

"I honestly do not care what happens to the rest of the fiancées, but you will only harm my daughter as far as it takes to determine a combat victory, and no more."

Another flurry of throwing daggers avoided as the cat girl spun into a cartwheel.

"There will be no _punishing._"

A spear shot out at an angle, forcing her to duck as it embedded itself in the wall behind her.

"There will be no _poisoning._"

A cloud of blades flew at her from all directions. She evaded them skillfully but her clothing bore new tears and rips for her efforts.

"And _when_ my daughter finally beats the snot out of you, you _will_ allow her to be with her Ashikabi if _he_ so chooses."

A pair of swords chained at the hilts tripped her up as they flew past, when she slammed into the floor she was outlined by a series of wicked-looking crescent swords.

"Know this: she is giving you the chance to be with the boy out of the goodness of her heart - not the other way around. If she really wanted to, she'd ask her family to help her out. Together we could steal him from you or your tribe without even breaking a sweat."

Shirou finally rose from the table, looking at the Elder holding herself rigidly so as not to impale herself on the dozen or so blades sticking out of the floor, from the ceiling, and from the counter she had tried to take cover behind in order to recover her equilibrium. She glared back furiously as Akitsu rose to take her position beside him.

"Elder Cologne, thank you for your hospitality," he said, in control of his voice once more. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a wad of high-denomination bills, laying them on the table. "I apologize for the mess; this should take care of the property damage and lost income while you fix up."

He made his way to the door and held it open for his lady, turning back to the interior once more. "Next time I'm around, I hope I get the chance to sample your menu."

As Akitsu passed him, he saw the frozen popsicle Mousse had been turned into - again. He shook his head ruefully and made his way outside himself.

"Good day," he said as he closed the door.

* * *

><p>Back at the Emiya Mansion's infirmary, Koyuki smiled softly.<p>

"What's up?" asked her sister. Karin was seemingly engrossed with her tablet PC, but that didn't stop her from keeping a close eye on the bedridden bluenette.

"I do not know," came the quiet reply. "It felt like something very pleasing had just happened in the world..."

Karin blinked for a moment, then shrugged and returned to her browsing.

"Sounds nice."

* * *

><p><em>(an continued) - so yeah, going from disgustingly civil, to barely cordial, to antagonistic, to flipping out and killing everyb-(REAL ULTIMATE POWER!) - i mean, sword-chucking...fun_

_i probably should have had shampoo saying more in that discussion, but trying to do an info dump in her broken speech is... headache inducing._


	26. Emiya Clan Misc: Devil May Cry

_(a/n) - this omake is based off one deus-rasengan2 wrote, (EmiyaClan, pg28 #1378) which introduced Mr. Anthony Redgrave (aka Dante) to the clan. fortunately as a literal guest... as in he doesn't plan to stay and will not be paired with anyone... maybe._

_we hope._

**Emiya Clan Misc - Devil May Cry**

* * *

><p>"You have guns."<p>

Dante took a break from demolishing the targets down-range as he turned towards the speaker. Hmm...

_Teenage human female: +2_

_Red hair tied in a cutesy - too cutesy - off-center ponytail: -1_

_Pretty well built for her age: +5, reminder to check back in a few years_

_Eyes shining with adoration. Hm.. not ordinarily a bad thing, but it gives her something of a fangirly air: -5_

_Moderately dressed, long sleeved shirt and shorts. Not a bad color scheme.. +2_

_**Total points: +3**_

He gave her a winning smile as he turned to face her, spinning Ebony and Ivory in a casual, but complicated series of flips and twirls before he holstered them under his long coat. "I do indeed. The better to protect young, pretty girls like you."

She didn't reply at first. He noticed her eyes tracking the two pistols, which was expected. She didn't, however, return her adoring gaze on his handsome self once they had disappeared. In fact, she seemed to have her eyes glued on where they'd disappeared into their holsters.

Finally she opened her mouth, and Dante mentally prepared himself for the gushing praise most fan girls gave him whenever he sauntered into their lives.

"Paired Colt Em-nineteen-elevens*, heavily modified," she said breathlessly. "Heavily reinforced slides and rails supporting muzzle compensators, suggesting rapid firing; although the increase in barrel length helps keep accuracy high."

Dante blinked.

"The silver one has standard combat sights while the black one has adjustable targeting sights, suggesting the black one is designed for longer-ranged applications than the silver one. The ejection ports on the black one are modified to release the spent casings on the left side, which suggests the two are designed to be used in tandem, if at all. The handgrips are larger than normal, suggesting double-stacked magazine clips."

Her voice trailed off and finally lifted her head to stare directly at him. She blushed slightly and looked away again, shuffling her feet. "Can... can I see them again?"

He stared in disbelief for a few moments, mechanically drawing out his pistols at the request before he could think twice about it. "Um... what did you say your name was?"

"Oh!" she fought to tear her eyes from the weapons and meet his eyes again. "Keiko Emiya, sir." She bowed, then gave in and focused on the pistols in the same wide-eyed adoring gaze she had before. She carefully took them one at a time, cradling Ebony and running her fingers over it lovingly. "So beautiful..." she whispered to herself.

Dante's eye began twitching as she traded the black gun in for Ivory and repeated her actions, this time rubbing her cheek over the pistol. He gulped, his throat suddenly dry.

Suddenly, she lifted her head and raised her voice. "Daddy?"

"No," said a voice from behind him.

Dante spun around to find the Emiya patriarch somehow not two feet away from him, staring at his daughter with furrowed brows. _When did he...?_

Keiko's voice took on an adolescent wail. "You didn't even let me ask my question!"

"Still no."

"But-"

"_No._ Now give Mr. Redgrave back his gun and go help out with dinner."

There was a childish grumble entirely at odds with her appearance, but she reverently held out Ivory for Dante to claim again before she spun on her heel and stalked back towards the mansion proper. She gave one last withering glare at her father as she stomped off.

Dante stared after her...

_Extremely knowledgeable about firearms, especially given that she'd barely had a few seconds to deduce all that: +5_

_Fangirly towards my guns: +2_

_Not at all fangirly towards _me_. That's a bit off-putting...: -2_

_**Total Points: +8...**_

He was mentally rubbing his hands together when the sound of a throat clearing caught his attention. He turned to face an annoyed Shirou who was staring back at him with narrowed eyes.

"She's taken," his friend warned him. He very carefully did not mention by _whom... That_ would have been a conversation on its own.

Dante raised his hands defensively. "It never even crossed my mind," he said airily.

_Overprotective father who can fight me to a standstill if pissed off about his daughter: -10_

_**Total Points: -2**_

Dante smiled to himself and made a mental note to drop by for a visit in a few years...

* * *

><p><em>(an continued) - *M1911s, pistols Ebony and Ivory were based off_

_this omake resulted in an interesting nugget on the forums. given that Shirou possesses Kanshou and Bakuya, his own set of black and silver weapons, Keiko's creator jumped at the chance that she would absorb and be able to reproduce Ebony and Ivory. this spawned a minor continuity thing where the creators of the Clan started picking out paired black & white weapons for their own creations._

_don't be surprised if some future omake has B&W weaponry become a calling card for the Clan..._

_on another note, Keiko's childish tantrum at being denied... something... by her father when faced with impossibly cool weapons also inspired this fanart...  
>(<em>**_img696. imageshack. us /img696 /7281 /4koma01 .jpg_**_)  
>...yes, nanoha is part of the clan too - see "Devil's Wings" by trooper1023<em>


	27. EC: Nerima 07

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 07**

* * *

><p>Koyuki looked around cautiously as she opened the door to the main entrance as quietly as she could. Seeing no one else around, she opened it just enough to squeeze through, then turned to close it just as carefully.<p>

"And where do you think you're going, brat?" A shadow fell over her and she turned around slowly, staring into the annoyed visage of the family caretaker.

"Uncle," she solemnly greeted. She tried to shrug, one shoulder moving while the other was held in place with a cast and sling. "I was merely about to go for a walk."

The Golden King-turned-Nanny snorted. "The Faker warned Me you'd try to pull this. In spite of Myself, I find I would agree with him." His eyes softened fractionally. "You shouldn't be walking around like that, kid. Go back inside and get some rest."

"With respect, Uncle, I must refuse." The snow girl walked past her guardian, who simply stepped aside without comment. "I have not yet properly introduced myself to the remaining competition. I cannot leave this task incomplete."

Gilgamesh watched her silently as she took the steps from the entrance towards the main gate. "It's on your head if you make your condition worse," he called as she reached out to open it. "I'll not have the Faker laying any of the blame on Myself!"

Despite his harshness of his words, she heard the undercurrent of worry from the man who had almost single-handedly raised her and her siblings. Koyuki smiled as she pushed her way out.

* * *

><p>The King of Nannies stood in silence for a few moments, watching the main gate slowly swing closed. Turning back towards the house, he looked up and called out into the heavens. "So, what now?"<p>

A blur detached itself from the roof and dropped lightly to the ground before him. "I can't - in good conscience - allow my injured sister to wander off by herself." Chiyo smiled at him as she rose to her feet. "Especially not when I haven't finished patching her up again."

Gilgamesh simply snorted and looked off to the side. "You too?"

"Like we'd let 'Yuki run off on her own like that," scoffed Karin. She and Keiko stepped away from where they'd been hidden in the shadows as Sakuya dropped her concealment. The three walked up to join Chiyo as they presented a defiant air towards the grounds keeper.

Gilgamesh let out a theatrical sigh and shook his head as he stepped out of their way. "Such uncouth youths," he lamented. "Clearly that Mongrel didn't raise his children properly if they disobey authority so easily."

Chiyo smiled as the four children headed towards the gates. "Then it's a good thing we have you around, Gil-ojisan," she said cheerfully. Turning back around, she bypassed the gate entirely, leaping over the walls, then to the rooftop of a nearby building.

The other three followed their roof-hopping sister at street level, chasing the trail Koyuki had left into the city.

* * *

><p>Koyuki's knock on the door was answered fairly quickly by a smiling woman in an apron. She looked to be Arika-nee's age, but she possessed a maternal air that reminded her more of Miya-kaasan when she wasn't in one of her moods.<p>

"Ara, are you a friend of Ranma-kun?" she asked politely as she stepped to the side.

Koyuki accepted the implied invitation and stepped through into the foyer. "I am, but I have come seeking Akane Tendou."

"Ah," somehow the woman's smile tightened. "Fortunately Akane is home today... helping to prepare dinner. I'll go let her know she's being asked for so she can meet you without delay!" She extended an arm down the hallway, "Please make yourself at home in the living room. She should be out shortly."

Koyuki nodded as she pulled off her shoes and followed the directions to the large room she had visited with her parents not a week ago. Already seated at one of the couches was a girl with close-cropped hair, flipping through a newspaper. The Tendou's middle child, if Koyuki recalled correctly.

Nabiki noticed her walking in and glanced over her shoulder. "You're looking for Ranma?"

"Akane-san," Koyuki corrected. "I wished to speak with her regarding our... situation."

Nabiki eyed the newspaper, which Koyuki could now see was a large spread of family-restaurant coupons. "Well, if you can, try to keep her talking for a while. Otherwise we're eating out."

Before the snow girl could puzzle out that statement, the middle Tendou had gathered up her belongings and headed up the stairs to her room.

* * *

><p>Outside the Tendou dojo, the other four Emiya children made themselves comfortable on a neighboring building's rooftop. Karin immediately pulled out a set of binoculars and focused them through the ground-floor window while Keiko and Sakuya surveyed the property. Chiyo was perched on the chimney stack, using her higher vantage point to scan the surrounding streets and rooftops.<p>

"I only see Koyuki and the Tendou girls," Karin finally reported. "The grownups and Ranma must be out or something."

"Did you check the dojo itself?" Chiyo asked.

"Er, not yet."

"I got it," Keiko said. She had traced the Leupold Mk4 scope attachment from her sniper rifle and was using it as an makeshift telescope. She studied the view for a moment then dissolved the accessory. "No movement, he must really be out."

"Pity," said Sakuya. "I was **looking forward** to seeing him again."

Above them, Chiyo sniffed the air a few times in confusion. "What is that _smell?_"

* * *

><p>An annoyed Akane stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room, slapping a towel over various grease, food, and other unidentifiable stains on her clothing and arms. Her eyes narrowed as she saw the newest proof of her fiancé's perversion rising from the couch to greet her, then blinked as she noticed the girl's arm in a cast and sling.<p>

"You're not here to fight in _that_ condition, are you?" she blurted out.

"No, Tendou-san," the girl quietly replied. "Unless there is no other alternative, I would much rather try to talk our way through our differences."

Akane's thought process momentarily stumbled at the deference the other teen was offering her. It quickly reasserted itself in its default mode - suspicious. She eyed the girl speculatively as she moved towards the couch on the opposite side of the table. "Koyuki, was it?" she said as she sat down.

"Koyuki Emiya," she affirmed. She waited until Akane was seated comfortably before taking a seat herself. "I wished to open a dialogue between us, hopefully reaching a compromise regarding Ranma-sama."

"Ranma is _my_ fiancé," Akane bit out. "The only compromise is for you to accept that and walk away from this whole nightmare."

Koyuki frowned, "That is not an acceptable outcome. Ranma-sama and I are bonded and-"

Akane's mind took the phrasing and interpreted it in the most negative way possible. "He did _what_?" she shrieked. "I will _kill_ that pervert!"

"What?" The other girl was blinking rapidly, her face growing pale.

"You... and he..." Akane struggled to to keep the mental image out of her head, failing miserably. "That's disgusting! That pervert!"

"It was just a kiss, Akane," Nabiki wandered back down the stairs. "And she was the one to initiate it, not the other way around."

Akane's face went red, "B-but it sounded like..."

Nabiki's mouth curled into an amused smirk. "Only you would take an innocent innuendo and run off with it like that..." She made her way back to the couch and sat next to her sister. "Here, I'll help you out since you're obviously to distraught for delicate negotiations."

* * *

><p>Karin's binoculars creaked as she glared into the eyepiece. "They're double-teaming her now..."<p>

"Are you sure?" Keiko peered over her shoulder. "It looks to me like the other girl's there to control her own sister."

Karin offered the device over to her sister. "Look though, they've got 'Yuki-chan sweating. She never sweats."

"Oh?" Chiyo suddenly looked concerned. "She shouldn't be... unless..." She suddenly groaned. "That girl..."

"What?"

"She still hasn't recovered her strength. I'd say the physical strain of walking over here combined with the mental strain of trying to talk to a Grade-S tsundere is finally taking its toll on her," their elder sister explained.

Sakuya cocked her head to the side, "Grade-S?"

"Think Rin-kaasan and Tsuki-kaasan, combined."

"Eew."

Karin pressed the binoculars into Keiko's hands. "I'm gonna go help her out."

* * *

><p>"So," Nabiki said casually. "Koyuki, was it?"<p>

"Yes, Tendou-san."

"Call me Nabiki. I admit I haven't heard much about your circumstances. Tell me, why would you say you and Ranma are 'bonded' together? Are you from China, by any chance?"

Koyuki blinked. "Why... does everybody keep asking me that...?"

* * *

><p>Chiyo suddenly sat up straight. "Hum."<p>

Sakuya turned towards her, "What is it?"

Chiyo motioned towards the skyline being outlined by the sunset. "There's another person roof-hopping... I think they're coming this way."

**"Is it Ranma?" **Sakuya asked eagerly.

Chiyo turned an amused smile on her younger sister. "Doesn't look like it. And I thought you had better control than that, Sakuya-chan."

The purple-haired girl frowned, but let the comment slide. "If it's not Ranma... should I hide us?"

"Please. Until we know what they want, we should probably stay out of sight."

The shadows rose up to surrounded the three girls, and soon they had completely vanished from sight.

* * *

><p>Akane clenched her fists in a futile attempt to control her temper. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! You expect us to believe that just by kissing him, your entire existence is dependent on him?"<p>

"It's more or less true," said a new voice. All three girls turned towards the entrance to see Kasumi leading a new girl - a redhead with glasses - over to their table. "Thank you, Kasumi-chan."

She moved over to stand before Koyuki. "You should really take care of yourself better, 'Yuki-chan. You'll never convince them if you keel over in mid-sentence."

Nabiki turned her attention back to the bluenette, suddenly noticing that the girl had been sweating profusely, something she didn't see at first because of her pale complexion.

"Karin..." Koyuki slumped into her sister's side as the redhead sat down next to her. "Why are you here?"

"Just relax," the redhead replied. She ignored the question and she wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Go ahead and listen in, but don't exert yourself by trying to answer." She turned back towards the Tendous.

"So, Akane-chan~" Karin smiled as the other girl bristled at the casual form of address. "You were asking about the Winging Ritual. Well..."

* * *

><p>A shadowy figure landed on a nearby roof, chosen for its clear view of the building next to it. Silently making its way to the edge, the figure peered down to look at the meeting taking place.<p>

"Hm, it appears my loyal servant was correct," a melodious and haughty voice proclaimed. "I shall have to find a way to reward Sasuke for his efforts."

There was a flurry of movement and Kodachi Kuno appeared, her cloak draped over one arm and a gymnastics ribbon-baton held at the ready in her other. "Such a clear opening!" she declared. "Time to take out the pesky Tendou girl and this new harlot that has appeared. Once they are out of the way, Ranma-sama will have no choice to but to accept my love! OHOHOHOHO-_erk_"

"That doesn't sound very nice."

Chiyo stepped out of the shadows, one hand holding a blade at the ready while the other pressed a second sword against the gymnast's throat. "Threatening innocent people is not a very smart thing to do, that goes double when my sisters are involved."

Kodachi turned her head slowly, exposing herself to the full measure of Chiyo's Angelic Smile of Doom. A part of her quailed at the sight, mentally withdrawing on itself into a shivering wreck.

The other, much larger part of her simply did not care. She turned a bright-eyed, insane smile back on her captor. "How amusing! Yet another wench is trying to keep me from my Ranma-sama!"

She vanished behind a sudden curtain of black rose petals.

Chiyo frowned and carefully dropped into a combat stance.

* * *

><p>Nabiki leaned back, frowning as she sorted through Karin's explanation of the Winging Ritual, Ashikabi, and noritos. She noticed Akane had gone slightly cross-eyed, apparently having much less success in processing the idea that kissing equated to marriage for Koyuki's culture. She frowned as she realized the redhead had managed to avoid saying <em>which<em> particular culture they were part of though...

Koyuki had remained collapsed onto her sister's shoulder. She still looked pale but her temperature was back under control. She had sat through the explanation quietly, eyes watching them carefully but otherwise immobile.

Karin pulled out her tablet - which she'd affectionately named her MBiPad - and flicked it on. She navigated her way through the database she had stored on it, finally coming across the entry she was looking for.

"Akane Tendou," she read aloud. "A few months ago there was an incident in the Qinghai Province in People's Republic of China. This involved a demi-god, a race of flight-capable demons, and a majority of the Nerima Wrecking Crew - including Ranma... and you." She flipped her tablet around to show a satellite picture of what was unmistakably Saffron's _Tenka Shunmetsu Koukyuu Dan_ being pierced by Ranma's _Hiryuu Hyou Toppa_.

After a few seconds of letting them stare at the image in shock, she spun the 'pad back around to let Koyuki see it. "Your boy's pretty impressive... Anyhow, the situation was resolved with the death of the demi-god - although he's supposed to come back to full strength in a few years - and Akane was... killed." She peered over the screen to look at the shocked girl in question. "Clearly you got better."

Nabiki narrowed her eyes to glare at Karin. "You've been spying on us."

The redhead waved her free hand dismissively, "Oh no, not at all. We didn't even learn about you people until 'Yuki-chan here got winged. We did have to pull the satellite images from the PRC's own database, but the notes here are all from you."

The middle Tendou's eyes widened, "You're the one who hacked my computer!"

"That was my Mom. But she did share the results with me." Karin grinned at the stunned girl, then turned her attention back to Akane. "I wanted to bring that up because I had a question for you, Akane-chan. It was Ranma who saved your life, ya?"

"...Yes," she said quietly. No doubt she was in the middle of reliving her memories of the whole episode. "I heard him... he told me..."

Karin and Nabiki both waited patiently, knowing exactly what happened.

"He told me he loved me..."

Koyuki sighed in defeat. Karin reached over to pat her on the head comfortingly. "Do you love him back?"

"_What?_" Instantly her energy was back. "Why would I love that masochistic, perverted -" She broke off as she noticed the two Emiya siblings glaring at her. Beside her, Nabiki breathed out an exasperated sigh.

Karin rubbed her forehead, "'Yuki-chan, tell the girl how you feel about Ranma."

There was a pause as Koyuki levered herself back into a sitting position. She stared at Nabiki and Akane in turn, holding the younger Tendou's eyes as she opened her mouth.

"For Ranma-sama I would do anything, I would go anywhere. When I think about him it hurts, as if my heart does not know whether to leap for joy or to shatter into pieces. When I think back on my life before I met him, it feels so empty. I would stay by his side forever if I could. If we were separated I would seek him out for eternity. Every day I thank the Root of the World that I am able to be with him.  
>"No matter what has happened to me in the past, or what will happen in the future; I would consider all of that a trade in my overwhelming favor for this chance to be with him. I love him."<p>

As she spoke, her voice rose and gained in strength from her normal quiet murmurs. By the end of her declaration, her eyes were alight, a beatific smile spread across her face. When she finished, though, she suddenly blinked and withdrew back into herself. She slumped back against the cushions as if all the strength had suddenly left her body, and Karin pulled her back to lean on her shoulder.

Nabiki blinked. "That sounded like a very nice speech," she drawled. "Now what do you _really_ think?"

Karin and Koyuki both glared at her.

The redhead turned back to address Akane. "For all the perceived faults you find with him, you were still willing to marry Ranma," she brandished MBiPad to prove her point. "...and he was willing to marry you."

Akane frowned, "Well... he only did it because Daddy had some water from the _nanniichuan_..." Nabiki quickly shushed her sister.

The redhead continued on obliviously. "Despite everything he went through, despite the fact that you _died_ on him, he still risked everything to bring you back. You _know _he loves you. You should treasure that love, you'll never find anything else like it again."

Karin patted and ruffled Koyuki's hair, drawing an annoyed look from her sister. "Koyuki knows - we both know - this too. She's not asking to steal Ranma from you. Honestly that would be ideal, but it's probably not going to happen. All she wants is for you to allow her to remain close to him. You heard her, if you keep them separated she will be miserable for the rest of her life."

Akane stared. "Do you really feel that way?"

Koyuki nodded slowly.

"I mean - not that I love that jerk," she protested. Karin and Nabiki both sighed. "But... if... we... marry... " she blushed, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to let you visit... sometimes."

"Wee~ell," Karin adjusted her glasses, which suddenly became opaque with reflected light, "_**ideally**_ we'd have all three of you, and maybe the rest of those nice girls in a sweet little harem; but I _suppose_ she can settle for just that, right 'Yuki?"

Koyuki nodded much more enthusiastically.

The Tendou sisters both gaped openly at the redhead, now softly chortling to herself. "You... _you're a pervert too!_" Akane yelled, standing up and hefting one of the couch cushions.

Just as she was about to throw it, the ceiling collapsed in a mess of wood and tiles and a body flew through the opening to land on the floor beside the table. Closer inspection revealed a very dazed, very bruised gymnast in a familiar black leotard.

Chiyo poked her head through the hole in the roof. "Whoops, sorry about that!"

* * *

><p>The rest of the visit went moderately well. Once the Tendous had adjusted to the presence of all five Emiya siblings - and Koyuki adjusted to the idea that she'd been followed - a truce of sorts had been reached. Nabiki had attempted to wrangle whatever information she could get about the Clan, but once Chiyo had entered the conversation she suddenly decided to spend the rest of the evening in her room. Kasumi had played the role of gracious hostess, telling them amusing stories about "Ranma's many friends" and other events which were used to update the database on Karin's MBiPad.<p>

Kodachi had been unceremoniously dumped onto the street in front of the dojo.

Finally it grew somewhat late, but before they could excuse themselves Kasumi came to them with one last request.

"You can have dinner with us! Akane was working hard to make a meal for Ranma-kun, but he appears to not be coming home tonight. We have more than enough food left for you and your sisters."

Nabiki suddenly paled and dived out of the window... from her second-story bedroom.

Chiyo glanced at each of her siblings and got shrugs in return. Sure, why not? _Free food!_

* * *

><p>Gilgamesh narrowed his eyes as he peered into the darkness. Five ghastly figures emerged from the gloom, shuffling in a manner normally reserved for the living dead. The otherwise quiet nighttime air was filled with the moans and wails of the damned.<p>

With a flash, the Golden King's armor manifested itself and he keyed open Gate of Babylon, ready to purge the living world of these monstrosities. In the light of the opened Gate, however, he suddenly made out details that were previously lost to the darkness. Scarcely believing his eyes, he drew on the comfort of Ea as he approached the intruders. One by one, as they reached the gates they collapsed, twitching on the ground.

He cautiously reached out and flipped one of the bodies over with his sword's tip, only to confirm what he'd seen previously. With a sigh, he shoved Ea back into the Gate and dismissed it, letting his armor dissipate as well.

"What. _Happened._ To. You?" he glared at a near-comatose Chiyo.

"I have tasted from the Recipe-Book of the Necronomicon," she whispered, her voice raspy. "I have witnessed what lies beyond the Veil of Death."

_"Kill me..." _Keiko's voice floated from somewhere behind her.

There was another cry of sheer agony. **"Help me, please!"** Sakuya wailed. **"I think she killed Yang!"**

Koyuki simply lay where she had fallen, face embedded into the concrete.

Gilgamesh started as a trembling hand grasped his leg. He stared down as Chiyo struggled to lift her face up, _"Remember us..."_ she whispered. Her hand went limp and she fell, moving no longer.

The King of Nannies sighed as he turned to fetch one of the parents from the household.


	28. EC: Nerima 08

_(a/n) - sorry for the sudden break in updates. actually, i'm not sorry. i was at anime expo and i got to see the miku concert. not sorry at all! hahahah!_

_*ahem* back to business i suppose. the 'school of hard knocks' mentioned is from Syroc's Omake (fanfiction . net /s/7056610/12/). for those of you who might not remember, reiko is the emiya clan's version of a slider. or at least her future self is. ALL omakes are canon!... sortof._**  
><strong>

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 08**

* * *

><p><em>"Father, I would like to request training."<em>

_"We'll talk about this later, Koyuki. You should get some rest."_

Father left. He wouldn't let her do it. Not anytime soon. She needed training _now_ if she were to have any hope getting to the level she wanted. She turned her head and watched the chaos around her as Chiyo-nee left to find Chiho-kaasan. Her eyes fell on Takeshi-nii, on Haru-nii, on Musubi-kaasan and Karasuba-kaasan. They came to rest on Arika-nee before she succumbed to the shock of her injuries and darkness began to nibble at the edges of her vision.

_I will seek training... elsewhere._ She decided as she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Koyuki flew through the air. She wasn't graceful. Twisting her body, she just managed to get her feet underneath her and break her fall, only to trip on her heels and slam in to the ground on her back.<p>

Or she would have, if the ground hadn't erupted into a cushioning mass of writhing darkness. Sakuya glared from across the field as her shadows gently lowered her sister to the ground. "You idiot," she yelled, "her arm's still not better yet!"

"She should learn to land on her feet then," Arika pointed out bluntly. She turned her head slightly. "Koyuki-chan?"

"I am fine." The snow girl looked back at the sidelines, where most of the Emiya children were sitting, watching, cheering. Keeping her discomfort from her face, she rose to her feet and moved back into position near her elder sister.

"When you're airborne like that, try to get your arms like_ this._" The eldest Emiya daughter demonstrated the position and Koyuki mimicked it. Most of the adults were away from home. Musubi was still at school officiating an intra-club sporting match, which left Arika running her sister through simple unarmed-combat drills. "You need to be able to control your spin and reorient yourself as soon as possible in order to stick the landing." Arika tilted her head casually as she checked Koyuki's stance, then grabbed her arm - her uninjured arm.

Unfortunately for Koyuki, the Emiya Clan's idea of 'simple combat drills' took a page from the fabled 'School of Hard Knocks' Reiko had once told them about. Musubi and Karasuba, of course, had been ecstatic about the idea. Ever since then, hands-on learning took on a whole new meaning for the family.

With a brief application of reinforcement and a judicious use of mana burst to increase her arm strength, Arika spun into a circle, pulling Koyuki off her feet and flinging her into the the sky once again like an olympian's shot put. Once again, the snow girl flailed her limbs as she flipped end over end through the air, this time managing to control herself properly enough to drop into a textbook three-point landing. She skidded across the ground as she shed her momentum, but drew herself back up as she slowed, shaking out her hand.

**Emiya Clan Combat Lesson One: Learn How to Fall**

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Two: Learn How to Redirect Attacks<strong>

Koyuki rapidly brought her arm up, shoving Arika's knife-handed thrust off course and just past her torso. Unfortunately she wasn't able to get that same arm back up in time to catch her sister's followup attack, suffering a chop to the junction between her shoulder and neck which sent her to her knees.

Arika frowned. "You should have used your other arm for the first strike, rather than trying to do a cross-body parry."

**"It's still **_**broken**_**, you moron!"** Sakuya shouted from the sidelines.

"Ooh, right..."

Koyuki gasped as she clutched her shoulder.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Three: How to Dodge<strong>

Takeshi and Keiko frowned as they stood in front of Arika.

"I really think this is a bad idea," the eldest son commented.

"_Really_ bad," Keiko echoed. "...and that's saying something, especially coming from me."

Arika waved her hands dismissively. "Nonsense, I'm sure Musubi-kaasan would agree with me."

Takeshi narrowed his eyes, "I really don't think Musubi-kaasan is the best example to be going with here..."

Keiko turned to look over her shoulder. "Are _you_ okay with this, sis?"

Koyuki eyed the repeating crossbows her two siblings were carrying with an uncertain expression. "Ah... uh..."

"She'll be _fine_," Arika insisted. She pointed towards the field. "Now get out there and do your stuff. I want arrows that will blot out the sun!"

Koyuki gulped nervously.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Four: Improve Physical Conditioning<strong>

Arika ticked points off of her fingers. "Need to improve your speed, your reflexes... hm... you may not need to improve your strength just yet. We should work on your stamina."

Koyuki was on the ground, flat on her face.

"Oh come _on!_ That was barely eight kilometers!" Arika fumed at the poor showing.

"Maybe it would help if you let her take off the ankle weights?" Karin asked archly. The rest of the children were still present, watching the 'training' in horrified fascination.

"It's only five kilograms," Arika insisted.

"Um..." Kumako interrupted nervously. "I know Koyuki-neechan is a snow lady, but is she supposed to be turning blue like that?"

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Five: Take Care of Your Body or Els- OH SHI-<strong>

_"What's going on here?"_

Arika paled and turned towards the house. Chiyo and Haru were standing on the steps with a look of shock on both of their faces as they stared at the comatose snow girl and the blonde teen barking at her like a drill sergeant. Chiyo's expression rapidly darkened, her mouth curling into a kind-looking smile. Haru gulped and took several long steps to distance himself from the girl.

"Eheh, Chiyo-chan!" Arika laughed nervously. "This isn't what it looks like... I can explain!"

* * *

><p>"Take her carefully to the infirmary... again," Chiyo directed Sakuya. She turned towards Riko, "Find Mother, please, and let her know what's going on."<p>

The two purple-haired girls nodded and departed to their respective tasks.

"And as for you..." the eldest Emiya daughter gulped as the second daughter turned back to her.

Whatever she was about to say was interrupted as the wall on the far side of the property abruptly exploded. The rest of the children were on their feet in a flash, all orienting themselves towards the dust cloud raised by the destruction.

"What the hell?" a voice shouted from within the cloud. "I could have sworn I was in a cave, why is there suddenly grass in here?" A stocky boy with a large traveling bag slung onto his back stumbled into view. He blinked at the apparently unexpected sunlight, looking around at the wide field around him. His eyes fell on the assembled crowd and his mouth twisted into a grimace, sharp canines pinging with reflected light.

"Where the hell am I now?"


	29. EC: Nerima 09

_(a/n) - i'm half starting to wonder if i should retitle this story... it's getting to be more nerima omakes than school days :_

_in other news, the Clan has been updated, a few wives which were there earlier but not on the chart, then one additional wife with accompanying kids. the babies have been aged up too, just for aiding description purposes...  
><strong>(<strong>_**_img836. imageshack. us /img836 /4246 /emiyaclanv6. jpg)_**

_for anybody wondering about the "ranma 1/2 as a manga" reference_, _this is from an older omake even before ec:nerima__ was even thought of, by deus_rasengan2 on the forums (pg7, post #329). as said before, _everything_ is canon so long as you have The Wizard do it..._**  
><strong>

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 09**

* * *

><p><em>"Ittai koko ha doko nanda?"<em>

Ryouga growled at nothing in particular as he took in his new surroundings. Large, well-maintained open field; large crowd of people training weapons on him; humongous, sprawling building in the distance... wait what?

He refocused his attention on the approaching crowd. The majority of the front-ranks were young adults, behind them were several groups of teenagers that looked to be his age, and several clusters of even younger children behind them. A school? An uncomfortable proportion of them were brandishing weapons of some sort at him; he could see several sets of swords, staves, daggers, and one of them appeared to have a large gun trained on him.

A tall purple-haired man approached him, his eyes narrowed behind the glasses he wore. "Who are you? How did you get here?"

Ryouga blinked sheepishly and held his hands out in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry about the wall, but I'm not exactly sure how I got here. My name's Ryouga Hibiki." He looked nervously at the crowd, "I, uh... mean you no harm?"

There was a shouted oath, then the crowd began to split up as somebody pushed their way through from behind. "Wait up, Takeshi! I know this guy!"

"You do?" there was confusion in the first man's voice.

"Oh yeah!" A black-haired teen pushed his way out and ran up to the two. He took a close look at Ryouga's face and all but cheered. "Ryouga Hibiki, I can't believe it!"

"Um, do I know you?" the Lost Boy asked.

Takeshi turned to the youth with an annoyed expression. "Haru?"

"Yeah, remember the boulder training I went through, how I got it from that manga?"

Takeshi's hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Chiyo doesn't let me forget. What does that have to do with... wait... _no..._"

Haru beamed, "Yep."

Ryouga looked between the two in confusion. Things didn't get any clearer when the apparent leader of the group swore openly, cursing something or somebody called 'Zelretch'.

* * *

><p>"This... is quite a large house you have," Ryouga said in wonder as he was led through the halls.<p>

"It works," said the excited black-haired teen - Haru. "Try not to get lost." He grinned over his shoulder and Ryouga had the uncomfortable feeling he was being mocked.

Takeshi had dismissed the rest of the children, then appointed Haru to deal with the wayward martial artist. The two made their way to the kitchens, since Haru had just recently returned to the house himself and was 'quite famished' in his words. Along the way Ryouga had plenty of time to wonder at the odd circumstances he currently found himself in. Usually the places he found himself in were public areas. The few times he'd stumbled onto private property he'd been driven out almost immediately. Although, this group had pulled weapons on him...

He decided to blame Ranma for this confusing situation.

"Wrong way," he felt a sudden tug on his sleeve and a voice suddenly spoke up from behind him. Ryouga half jumped and spun around to find a short preteen girl in a black dress staring at him from the cross-corridor. She lifted a lace-covered arm and pointed down the other corridor. "Haru-nii," she said tonelessly.

Haru poked his head from around the corner, "Wow, I can't believe it's really true. Thanks, Chibi."

The goth-loli simply nodded and released his sleeve as he turned back to follow his guide.

"What's really true?" he asked.

"Your sense of direction," came the light reply. "I've read all about it but never expected to see it in action."

"You've _read_ about it?"

"So, I was gonna make myself a sandwich," Haru said, dodging the question. "You want one? Chibi how about you?"

"Pudding," said the girl from behind him.

Ryouga's mind was swimming in total confusion now. These people knew him? And they'd _read_ about him? This was definitely Ranma's fault somehow...

He came to the next intersection and turned the corner only to feel another tug on his sleeve.

"Other way."

* * *

><p>Two sandwiches and a pudding later, the three were sitting at a table in what Haru called, the kitchen. It was certainly the largest kitchen he'd ever seen. His companions were also a very odd pair. The girl was happily scooping through her snack, swinging her feet childishly in her chair. It would have been a cute sight, except she maintained an utterly blank expression and was clutching a very creepy doll as she did so.<p>

"So where do you know me from?" he turned to the other boy.

Haru froze with his sandwich halfway to his mouth. "Ah... well, my sister mentioned you."

Ryouga turned to look at creepy girl.

"No, not Chibi - I mean Reiko - my other sister, Koyuki mentioned you."

He frowned, "I don't know anybody by that name either."

Haru frowned through his own sandwich. "Weren't you at that fight of hers last week? Where she and three others challenged Ranma?"

"No," Ryouga tried to search his memory. "I heard about it, but wasn't able to find the school in time."

"How about the Saotome Dojo the week prior? I'm pretty sure I heard you being there at that time."

"I remember a new fiancée," Ryouga growled. "That bastard got himself another one, just to spite sweet Akane..."

"Whoa there," Haru cautioned him. "Wasn't his fault. He happened to trigger a reacti - er, a rule that caused Koyuki to engage herself to him."

Ryouga blinked, "A rule? Is she -"

* * *

><p><em>"Why does everybody keep asking that?"<em>

Chiho jumped at the unexpected outburst from her patient, then double checked to make sure she was still unconscious. Oddly enough, she'd felt the temperature drop briefly in that instant as well. With a shrug, she turned back to her desk to continue her work.

* * *

><p>"- Chinese? <em><strong>*splat*<strong>_ HEY!" Ryouga looked around wildly for whoever had just thrown a snowball at his head. The room was completely empty save the three of them, though.

"Huh, I didn't know she had that kind of range," Haru commented.

* * *

><p>"A <em>manga?<em>" Ryouga roared.

"See, this is why I didn't really want to tell you," Haru grumbled. "I knew you'd react like this."

"You've read about my life in a manga? _How?"_

"A wizard did it."

_"Bwuh?"_

* * *

><p>"...and so long story short, one of my sisters is now engaged to Ranma Saotome, while also involved in an ongoing deathmatch of sorts with the heir of the Joketsuzoku," Haru concluded.<p>

Ryouga rubbed his temples. "I just _know_ this is all Ranma's fault..."

"Well, they are technically fighting over him, so you're not actually wrong there..."

"And she's training?" Ryouga perked up slightly. He was interested in seeing what sort of styles this family produced.

"Well," Haru looked a bit subdued. "She's actually resting in the infirmary right now. She got pretty beat up by that Shampoo girl, but she insisted on training immediately and just made her condition worse. I think Chiyo's giving Arika a good lecture right now."

"She is," Reiko piped up.

Haru shuddered. Then turned to a speculative eye on the martial artist. "You know Shampoo better than the rest of us..."

"I know _Ranma,_" Ryouga corrected him. "I have no interest in getting involved with his harem."

"Riiight... but you could still tell us how Koyuki would fare against her. Or give us tips for training her." Haru suddenly leaned forward, his eyes twinkling. "Or how _I_ would fare against her."

Ryouga looked resignedly into the other boy's eyes. "I know that look. You just want a match, don't you."

Haru nodded unashamedly, "Yup. Hey if I win, can you teach me the rest of the _Bakusai Tenketsu?_"

Ryouga sighed. "Lead me back outside..."


	30. F:SD 11

**Fate/School Days — 11**

* * *

><p>"...and so we'll be accepting suggestions for the cultural festival now," Sensei concluded. Class 1-1's homeroom teacher finished her presentation and made way for the class representative to make their way to the front of the room and start polling his classmates.<p>

Karin propped her head on her hand in boredom as the usual suggestions were made for the upcoming festival: cafés, haunted houses, plays, and the like. She glanced across the room where Koyuki was passing the time folding and combining small origami modules into a larger ball-shaped piece. She took a closer look, it appeared to be the beginnings of a buckyball. Apparently 'Yuki was anticipating a long discussion. Great.

The class had decided on doing a café, which took far less time than Karin anticipated. Unfortunately it seemed the bottleneck now was for what _kind_ of café it should be.

"Maids!" came the first enthusiastic suggestion. There was the expected cheering from the rest of the boys, perfectly counterpointing the glares most of the girls sent towards the speaker.

"Cosplay café, then?" Class Rep summarized. He scribbled the note on the teacher's own desk, where it was duplicated on every student's screen. He lifted his head back up and looked around. "What else?"

"Stuffed animals?" asked one of the girls timidly. There was a bit of good-natured laughter at that, but the suggestion was marked down as well.

"S&M!" shouted a voice from the back.

"Vetoed," came the instant response from Sensei. The whole class erupted into laughter.

"Super Sentai!"

"That goes under cosplay, I'd think." Class Rep looked around the room again. "Any other themes? No? Let's add 'generic uniforms' to this too. Something where we can make a unique design but its not quite cosplay." The notation was marked and he leaned back from the teacher's desk. "Okay, Cosplay, Stuffed Animals, and Generic; cast your votes."

The desks' screens unlocked and soon everybody was entering their votes. After a few minutes, Class Rep displayed the results, showing cosplay had won by quite a large margin.

"Alright, so we're doing a cosplay café," he had to shout over the cheers erupting from half the room. "I think we had votes for maids and super sentai, what else?"

* * *

><p>It was another half-hour of voting before a consensus on costumes had been reached. Suggestions from the students included: popular anime series, swimsuits (vetoed), hadaka apron (vetoed before the second syllable was even said), popular games, military uniforms, sports team uniforms (that one took a while, but was eventually vetoed because there was too much argument on <em>which<em>team), and the like.

Finally, though, it was decided to have maids (cheers) and butlers (louder cheers) serving flavored snowcones or shaved ice. Class Rep began splitting up the tasking for the room's decorations, the costume designs, food prep, budgeting, and assigning student leaders to oversee each one.

"Emiya-san?"

"Hm?" Karin lifted her head to see the Class Rep looking straight at her.

"Would you mind taking charge of the costume designs?"

"Ah, _iincho_..." a hand near the front shot up nervously. "That might not be such a good idea..."

"Hm? Why not, Sato-kun?" The Class Rep frowned. "Emiya-san's family runs a costume store doesn't it?"

"You... could call it that," Sato replied nervously. "It's actually a bit more... risque."

"How would you know?" a girl across the room asked suspiciously. Sato wisely chose not to answer.

"Ah?" Class Rep glanced at the teacher for permission, then brought up the webpage for Uzume's Clothing Boutique. His face suddenly flushed and he slapped at the screen to close the window. "Well..."

"It's alright," Karin said with a grin. "Kaa-chan's done plenty of stuff on the side before. I'm sure she can still help us out."

"I'll need to see your design sketches before we commit to anything," Sensei interrupted. "Let's not go too overboard with this."

"Deal," the redhead replied easily. "Although personally I don't think it would hurt to have a little _service..._"

The whole class struggled to ignore the sudden chuckling that came from her corner of the room.

"...Right then," Class Rep said nervously. "Moving on, food preparation... Takara-san?"

* * *

><p><em>Later that evening...<em>

"Café? That's so cliché," Keiko complained.

"What is your class doing then?" Karin asked.

Keiko grinned, "I got them to agree with a shooting gallery. We're setting up random prizes, old toys and plushies and the like. You might get our budget officer visiting yours and trying to wrangle some coupons for your place."

"Sounds fun," Sakuya said wistfully. "Our class is going to be putting on a haunted house."

The two siblings stared at her.

"...What?"

Karin leaned back in her chair. "Nothing! Just... go easy on your customers, Sakuya-chan."

The shadow user smiled. **"I have no idea what you're implying~"**

Koyuki entered the room then, Uzume following her.

"Yo," the adult greeted. "What's this I hear about a cosplay café?"

Karin beamed.


	31. F:SD 12

**Fate/School Days - 12**

* * *

><p>"Skirt length?"<p>

"Let's try a few: thigh, knee, and calf."

"No ankle length samples?"

"Too boring."

Uzume scribbled into her notepad for a few moments, then tapped her pen against her chin. "Colors?"

"Hm, we could use the school colors..." Karin glanced over at Koyuki, who merely shrugged back at her. "Nah, let's go for the usual black and white."

"Full apron or half?"

"Half, I think. I have plans for the upper body, nfufufufu~" Karin's glasses were misted over.

Uzume gave her a look over her notepad. "You're _thirteen,_" she pointed out.

"Has that ever stopped you before?" Karin retorted.

"Good point."

* * *

><p>Keiko walked past Sakuya's room with her bundle, then paused and backtracked until she was in the doorway. "What'cha reading there?"<p>

Sakuya didn't look up from her book. "_Monsters of the Occult and Legend_ by... some guy. It has pictures."

Keiko quirked an eyebrow and stepped inside to look over her shoulder. "Kappas... Karakasas... oh come on, you can do better than that."

"..."

"You see those in every horror flick nowadays. Nobody's going to be scared from those things."

Sakuya didn't reply.

Keiko suddenly jumped as she felt a cold hand wrap around her ankle. She looked down to see a shadowy demon _rising from the floor_, using the leverage to pull itself up and out. Her wrapped bundle hit the floor as she leapt back, her contender pistol produced from a subspace pocket and trained on the demon before she got herself under control. She turned to glare at her sister, now smiling with smug satisfaction back at her. "When did you learn to do _that?_" she demanded.

**"This morning,"** Sakuya replied airily. "I believe you were saying something earlier?"

"Ha ha, very funny," Keiko said sourly, dismissing her weapon and reaching down to pick up her bundle.

Sakuya's eyes shifted, "What do you have there?"

Keiko unwrapped the cloth to reveal a set of toy spring-loaded rifles. "I was gonna take these down to the workshop and, um, tweak them a bit."

"Tweak them," Sakuya repeated blanky.

"Yup!" The gunslinger's eyes unfocused slightly. "They'll become fragile... they'll become dangerous..." Her mouth twisted into a pleased grin as a light shone in her eyes. "They'll make pretty, _pretty_ explosions!"

"..." _Stare._

"..." _Smile._

"Dad's gonna flip when he hears you bastardized his pre-asskicking one-liner."

* * *

><p>"Uzume-kaasan~ Oh, there you are." Fuuko sauntered into the room and grabbed a seat.<p>

"What's up, Fuuko-chan?" the designer asked absently as she made rough drafts on a fresh sheet of paper.

"I need you to design something for me." Fuuko stretched out languorously on her couch. "Whenever you have time, of course."

"What's your class doing, Fuu-chan?" Karin asked from the other side.

"No idea!" The other girl smiled saucily. "I volunteered for the nursing station. Helping all those poor students dealing with the summer weather, suffering heat strokes and dehydration, needing somebody to give them close, personal attenti—"

"I have leftover nurse costumes in my closet," Uzume said.

"Will they fit?"

"Do you _want_ them to?"

"Excellent point," Fuuko rose to her feet and marched for the door. "Thanks, Uzume-kaasan!"

Karin stared at the door where her sister had disappeared through, then back at her stepmother. "I wish I'd thought of that."

"Clearly, Matsu has not been teaching you properly," Uzume replied.

All but forgotten by the other two, Koyuki soundlessly stood up and exited through the door after her elder sister.

* * *

><p><em>The next day...<em>

Sensei stared at the stack of papers Karin handed to her. "What is this?"

"It's the design concepts for the maid costumes," the redhead replied.

"No," Sensei snatched the top sheet and held it up for inspection. "What is _this?_"

Karin put on her best innocent face. "A _hadaka_ apron?"

"Why is it here when I specifically said not to?"

"To give you perspective."

"What?"

"No matter how the rest of these will look, you'll know it's not as bad as it could be."

Sensei stared at Karin for a few long moments, then sighed in defeat. Tossing the first sketch to the side on her desk, she picked up the rest of the stack and began leafing through them.

* * *

><p>"Sakuya-chan," Saori made her way through the chaos that was Class 1-4. "Did you get any ideas for the scares in our haunted house?"<p>

Sakuya smiled and lifted up a completely empty duffel bag. "Better yet, I have them in here."

"Ooh, can I see?"

"Um," Sakuya looked over to where a group of boys were setting up black-curtained areas. "I haven't really had a chance to uh... paint them. Besides I think it'll work best in the darkness. Want to try it out?"

"Sure!"

Saori let Sakuya lead her over to a completed section and they both stepped inside. After a few moments, there was a blood-curdling shriek and the girl all but flew out, tumbling over a desk in her haste to get away. Sakuya followed her at a more sedate pace, making motions as if stuffing something back into her bag. She walked up to the hyperventilating girl and smiled.

**"Do you think that will work?" **she asked.

Saori gave her a wide-eyed stare and just nodded.

* * *

><p>"Emiya-san," Class 1-3's Representative walked up. "Have you got the... oh good."<p>

Keiko grinned and brandished her bag, "Twelve spring-loaded toy guns. Perfectly safe for indoor use."

"Great, do you have the shots for them?"

Keiko blinked. "Shots?"

"Shots, bullets, things-to-put-in-guns-to-make-them-go-boom?"

"Hehe... _boom_. I mean, uh," Keiko laughed nervously. "I used them all up last ni– I mean... I'm still looking for something other than just plastic pellets. They just don't have quite the kick I'm looking for."

The Class Rep frowned, "Aren't plastic pellets reusable? Why not just pick them up after you were done with them?"

Keiko simply chuckled nervously and looked away.

* * *

><p>Sensei lifted an eyebrow at the last sketch in the stack. "Cat ears?"<p>

"_Kemonomimi_ is _moe~_" Karin cooed. "I was thinking we could customize them, ask each student what they wanted and try to make some for each one."

"Vetoed," Sensei said. "I know you're getting a family discount, but let's keep it simple and not go over budget."

Karin's face fell.

Sensei shuffled back through the stack, picking one out and handing it back to her student. "Let's go with this one. Make a copy of it and give it to the room-design team so you can coordinate stylistic colors and frills, or whatever."

_"Hai~"_

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere in the school...<em>

Two girls walked the halls of the school. Nothing special. They just walked. Nearby students helpfully moved out of their path.

"Bwah?"

"Whoa."

_"Niiice~"_

A teacher stepped into their path and blocked their advance. "Emiya-san, that is _not_ an appropriate dress!"

Fuuko looked down at her nurse uniform. At least two-sizes too small, it hugged her figure quite nicely, with a miniskirt that was just long enough to keep from being completely indecent. Her legs were bare except for her pantyhose, ending in strappy high-heeled sandals. A tiny cap perched on her head with a red cross emblazoned on the front completed the ensemble. She looked back at the teacher with wide, innocent eyes. "What, this?"

"Yes, _that!_" The School's Nurse pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Go find and get changed back into your normal uniforms. _Please_ don't wear those again on the day of the festival, or I might reconsider letting you sign up as a volunteer." She turned towards Koyuki, who was dressed in an identical set right down to the choice of relative dress size. "And I don't recall letting your sister sign up at all. You too. Uniform. Now."

"Ah," Koyuki looked down at her own attire. "But I liked this."

Fuuko grabbed her sister's shoulder and spun her around before she could say anymore. "Yes, Sensei, sorry about this!" She turned on her heel and marched back down the way they'd come.

She _might_ have added an extra sway of her hips with each step. She _might_ have caused more than a few nosebleeds and given the School Nurse some extra patients she might not have had. But let's just say she didn't.

She and her sister were just walking down the hallway. Nothing special.

* * *

><p><em>hadaka apron<em> – naked apron

__kemonomimi_ _– literally animal ears, generally refers to mostly-human chars with animal characteristics, like tails, paws, etc.

_moe_ – if you don't know what this means you fail as a weeabo. it's also... kinda hard to define

_hai_ – same as above. but it means 'yes'

* * *

><p><em>(an) – (imageshack. us/ photo/ my-images/ 708/ fsd12maidv2. jpg/) — cuz you KNOW you'd be picturing it in your head otherwise..._

_also just because i dont want to deal with the hassle of moving stories over (especially since i dumped my files once i posted them here) i'll just keep this as a single story. at least the chapters are numbered so you wont get TOO lost... much._

_maybe._

_in other news, we've been doing some more detailed profiles for our chars, unfortunately KittyBear has gone missing so we haven't been able to get him to update the data sheet. i took the liberty of posting them to my intro page, along with all the art pieces that have been collecting until now.  
><em>


	32. Emiya Clan Misc: Archer in the House

**Emiya Clan Misc — Archer In the House...Again?**

* * *

><p>Emiya Shirou was well known as an early riser. Years upon years he had taken care of handling the early morning chores and breakfast preparation, the only threats to his claim being Sakura, Miya, and – once he had been summoned – Gilgamesh. There had been good-natured competition between the four on occasion, each party trying to get up earlier and earlier in their attempts at claiming The Kitchen. There had been days where Shirou would be up and preparing long before the sun even began to rise.<p>

This was not one of those days.

"Mrrghlblrb..."

In his defense, the Emiya Patriarch had quite a stressful night previously. To start with, there had been a freak accident in the MBI labs that involved radioactive chemicals, samples of a rare and new crystal, an experimental power generator, a catastrophic failure in the containment systems for all three connected labs, and a potato. Somehow the situation had escalated beyond the ability of MBI's own Rapid Response Teams, and so both Shirou and Arturia had to step in with a few Excaliblasts to take the resulting monster out of commission.

"Mffle..."

After that there had been cases various emergency codes sent to the family, ranging from simple out of control powers to massive large-scale property damages that had to be covered up. By some miraculous coincidence, each and every one of the schools his children were enrolled in were involved, which meant jumping all over the city to take care of them.

"Mergle..."

And of course when he finally managed to get back home, a few of the wives were feeling rather frisky.

"Blergh."

Needless to say, Shirou was not quite feeling one-hundred percent this morning. He finally managed to make his way into the bathroom adjacent to the master bedroom. Even after a short shower and wash later, he was still not feeling any better. Stumbling back out into the bedroom, he headed for his closet – stepping over unconscious bodies in various states of undress – and grabbed the first set of clothing he could reach. After getting dressed, he stepped out of the room in search of coffee.

* * *

><p>As the door clicked shut, one of the bodies on the floor shifted slightly with a groan of her own. Blinking slightly, Rin Tohsaka-Emiya shifted herself into a sitting position and rubbed her eyes...<p>

...Then smacked herself in the head and rubbed her eyes some more. She looked back at the door. "Was that...? It looked like... _Nah..._"

* * *

><p>Gilgamesh was enjoying one of the few rare days He was able to enjoy a hearty breakfast fit for a King. He knew it was so, because He made it. He heard the heavy tread of footsteps well before the door opened and grinned as He fried up the next batch of eggs.<p>

"Too slow today, Faker!" He said cheerfully, turning around. "Your women and mongrels will have My cooking to break their fast this day! Soon you'll remember this as the day where your reign over The Kitch— What are _you _doing here?"

Only the the god-given reflexes that were His to command allowed Him to save the frying pan and its precious cargo as it nearly dropped from His surprised hands. With a flash, the Golden King's armor phased into existence and the Gate of Babylon flared open behind Him. "Speak, Faker. Which fool summoned you this day?"

"Crrfffiiii," mumbled the figure shambling through the door.

Gilgamesh reached into the Gate and drew forth Cortana, sister blade of Durandal, wielded by the legendary French Monarch Ogier the Dane. As Morgan ley Fay had preserved Ogier in Avalon for two centuries, only returning him to France during its time of need, the sword posessed the ability to temporarily remove its target from reality, banishing it for a period of time dependent on the prana used to empower it.

"This is My final warning to you, Faker," Gilgamesh growled. "State your reasons for intruding on the Mongrel-Faker's domain or I shall send you away myself."

"Coofffeeeeee..."

The Golden King blinked. "What?"

* * *

><p>One steaming cup of coffee later, Shirou was feeling much better, much more... coherent. He blinked eyes still heavy with sleep at the housekeeper as he sipped the life-giving substance. "What were you yelling about earlier?"<p>

Wordlessly Gilgamesh reached behind Him and withdrew the Mirror of Discovery, an ancient treasure said to have been used by Ptolemy himself when studying the properties of light. He set it on the table in front of the drowsy Emiya, then sat back and waited.

Shirou blinked.

He reached up slowly to brush his hair – his _white_ hair – watching in horror as the reflection matched his movements.

He blinked some more.

He brought his hand down, staring at the tanned coloration. A coloration matched along the rest of his arms, his chest, and – he stared at the mirror in disbelief some more – his face.

His eyes began to twitch. In the mirror, Counter Guardian Archer matched him movement for movement.

The clothes that he'd put on while half asleep — which he now noticed were a set he had never recalled owning before — consisted of a black tank top, black slacks, and a red trenchcoat. Though they weren't an exact match, with his new coloring the resemblance was close enough to nearly give him a panic attack.

"I hate to stoop down to the level of your primitive culture," Gilgamesh said conversationally, "But I think you've just been 'owned'..."

_"...gerk"_

* * *

><p>Karin let an excited giggle escape her as she stared at the camera feed. "It worked! I can't believe it worked!"<p>

"The resemblance is uncanny," Chisame commented. "White hair dye _and_ tanning solution?"

"Riko you're a genius!" Karin cackled. "Spiking his shampoo and his body wash really did the trick!"

"It probably would work better if we could have gotten custom shirts for the outfit to match it more closely, but that still works pretty well," Chisame said.

"Um, girls?" Kyon said from behind them.

"Wow... look at Daddy flipping out," Karin giggled some more and popped open a bag of potato chips.

"Uncle Gil looks like he's having the most fun I've ever seen him have since I got here," said the other redhead.

"Girls?"

The two spun in their seats to glare at their brother. "What?"

Kyon pointed towards the other end of the room, where the door had been knocked off its hinges. There was a purple blur as a body whipped around the doorframe and threw itself down the hallway. "I think you made the resemblance a little _too_ close. Riko just snapped."

"..."

Chisame stood up abruptly, knocking her chair back. "Oh _HELL_ no. I am _not_ ready to call my younger sister 'Mommy', this family is messed up enough _already!_"

* * *

><p><em>(an) – this was inspired by a series of posts/omakes where the kids were gradually screwing with shirou. in one, there was a side mention where one of the kids got INTO UBW (no idea how) and found the time to paint everything inside with various pastel colors. then there came my previous omake where they 'bastardized' his HoS!chant for breaking his phantasms._

_then we get "no! all his badassness is being destroyed! what's next somebody dyes his hair?"_

__the ending joke is from a series of omakes by neogoki –"Archer in Emiya-Clan" (pg19, #919) — where EMIYA is summoned to be a second nanny and eventually riko ends up chasing after his ... um... bodily fluids.__


	33. EC: Nerima 10

**Emiya Clan – Nerima 10**

* * *

><p>A young woman wearing a black dress walked quietly across the lawn towards the dojo. Despite having a foundation of concrete and framed by sturdy, heavy wood planks, the building was well known to be a temporary fixture – a fact proven when a strong impact from inside made the whole structure shudder. As she drew closer, the girl could see several cracks in the masonry along the walls. Another impact bowed out a small portion, cracking the wall further and breaking off small chips to fall porch.<p>

Without breaking step, the black clad girl pushed aside the door, then stepped to the side quickly as a flying body passed through the space she had just vacated and impacted the ground.

"Sorry about that!" a voice from inside called out. Ryouga jogged up to the door and peered outside.

Behind her, Haru groaned as he picked himself up off the ground. Aside from the dirt smudging his clothes, he appeared to be uninjured. "Good hit," he complimented, assuring the Lost Boy. As his gaze came up and saw the visitor, he froze.

Ryouga, for his part, turned towards her in apology but she brushed it to the side as she stepped past him and moved over to the other spectator in the dojo. "No harm done, really. I just came to watch."

"I see," the martial artist said. He had a confused look on his face, as if he'd recognized her but couldn't quite place her...

Once she'd reached the opposite wall, she dropped into a sitting position next to the girl beside her and ruffled her hair. "Haru, are you just going to sit out there all day?" she called out.

While Haru shuffled back inside, Ryouga looked back and forth between the two girls staring back at him from the sidelines. "I'm sorry," he began, "but I'm not quite familiar with the rest of your family yet, Miss... ?"

"Reiko Emiya." The older girl smiled as the boy's eyes widened and snapped back to the younger girl sitting quietly beside her. "Long story; but feel free to call me 'Eiko' if you'd like."

Chibi-Reiko pouted from behind her doll.

* * *

><p>Haru shook his head as he reentered the battered dojo and moved back into his starting position. The Reiko he knew was quiet and reserved. She'd been welcomed with open arms ever since she'd become publicly known amongst the family, but a lifetime of isolation had still left her nearly as subdued as her younger namesake. The few times he'd seen her with <em>that<em> smile was usually when she had some mischief planned. He silently cursed whatever Emiya genes that made all the girls in the family manifest their prankster sides. He hoped he was wrong.

Turning his attention back to his opponent, he thought about the previous exchange in blows. Ryouga was certainly one of the strongest people he'd known, especially considering he was unaugmented with magic or an inhuman physiology. Haru knew he could match that strength – and then some – if he called upon his bloodline, but he held himself back. This was merely meant to be a friendly spar to see where the other person stood. He also knew Ryouga was holding back himself, he had yet to sense any sort of battle aura manifesting itself around the other fighter. Still, the strength behind the boy's punches was something he had been expecting.

What was surprising was the martial artist's _speed_. His build, while not exactly bulked up, was still stockier than most of the fighters in the family.

_Still,_ Haru mulled, _this is Ranma's rival. He wouldn't be able to claim that if he weren't able to keep up with that speed-demon_. With a quick check to make sure his opponent was ready, Haru dropped into a brief crouch and then launched himself forward.

Ryouga met him head on, throwing up an arm to block his initial punch, then twisting aside to avoid the snap kick Haru threw out. Haru pulled his leg back as if to chamber it again, but turned it into a feint as he stepped in with his other leg into a fast knee strike. Ryouga slapped it away, then use the same hand in a backhanded punch that Haru took with his elbow. The force of the blow knocked him back and the two separated back into their ready stances.

Ryouga grinned slightly. "Muay Thai?

"Guilty as charged," Haru replied.

The other fighter looked up and down, giving him a once over. "I don't see any bruises forming, I didn't think I hit you that lightly." His eyes narrowed. "You mentioned the Breaking Point technique earlier, did you go through the training?"

"Eh, part of it," Haru replied. He dropped his stance and rubbed his head sheepishly. "There, uh, wasn't too much detail on the actual _breaking_ part of the exercise, so I mostly threw myself at boulders to try to boost my own defenses."

"Less talking, more fighting!" Eiko yelled. The two of them looked to the side and found her munching on an open bag of skittles. As they watched, Reiko wordlessly held up an open hand and Eiko dropped a few brightly colored pieces into it.

Shaking his head, Haru took his stance and waited for Ryouga to do the same. Once ready, he charged back in but stopped short to throw a series of lightning-fast probing attacks. Ryouga dodged or deflected them away, then responded with his own, which Haru defended in the same manner.

"Since you're here, I can ask you," Haru said conversationally as he ducked a roundhouse kick. "How do you find the proper point to hit?"

"It's kind of hard to explain," Ryouga replied. He jumped back to avoid a spinning heel kick followed by a step-in knee strike. "When I first started training I'd just be poking at random spots, hoping to hit whatever the old ghoul was trying to show me." He took an elbow strike to his own arm then stepped in with a palm thrust into Haru's open abdomen.

"It's weird though, eventually I just started to... _see_ the points. What's really strange is that there were a few times I'd find it, then stop concentrating so I couldn't see it. Even though I knew it was there, if I poked that exact spot, nothing would happen. I'd have to concentrate and be able to _see_ the points before I could properly use _Bakusai Tenketsu_."

"See the points?" Haru's mind flashed back to something Altrouge-kaasan had told him. "_See _the points_?_" It was something she saying while drunk one day... something about her sister's silly boyfriend... "Do you ever happen to see... _lines_?" He asked, wary.

"Huh? Oh yeah, but poking those didn't do anything. Only hitting the dots works."

Haru stopped dead in disbelief. _Seriously?_ "Uh... Ryouga, can you show me your technique?"

Ryouga dropped his stance, "Sure, I guess. You haven't won yet, though."

"You don't have to teach me, I just want to see it in person."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later they were standing out in the field. Ryouga was surveying the ground while Haru watched him closely. Reiko and Eiko where off to the side a bit, the latter still tossing the occasional candy into her mouth.<p>

"This is easier on an actual boulder," Ryouga muttered. He paused, "Ah, here we go." He dropped into a crouch and poked his finger into a spot on the dirt. "_Bakusai Tenketsu!"_

The ground exploded into flying chunks of dirt and uprooted grass.

Haru looked on with a stunned expression. He alternated his gaze between the crater in the ground and Ryouga's face. "That looked like you put no effort into it at all," he said in wonder.

"Yep," Ryouga had a proud expression. "Just a light touch, positioning is everything though."

Haru kicked at the ground a bit, then pulled out a fairly large rock that had been buried beneath the soil. He held it up at about eye level. "Do it again, on this."

Ryouga frowned. "Are you sure? It's pretty close to your face."

"Positive," Haru replied. He hefted the rock, "Please?"

The Lost Boy shrugged. "Suit yourself." He moved in until the two were almost standing face to face, a finger raised.

Haru wasn't watching the target this time, he was watching the other boy's face. Just as the martial artist grinned and leaned forward, Haru caught a flash of gold in his otherwise brown-eyes.

_"Bakusai Tenketsu!"_

Definitely gold eyes.

Haru was paying so much attention he nearly missed the rock shattering into shrapnel. A shard bounced off his forehead, drawing blood, but he barely noticed as he watched Ryouga's eyes fade back to their chocolate brown color and stare at him in worry.

"Ack! Sorry about that!" He started back towards the dojo, "I've got some bandages in my traveling bag, I'll be right back!"

* * *

><p>Ryouga was crouched by the wall next to his bag, tearing through it frantically when a shadow dropped across him. He looked up to see the older version of the creepy-girl standing over him with a smile.<p>

"Don't worry about Haru," she said. "It takes a lot more than that to really hurt him."

His hand froze in his bag, "Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't lie about something like that," she assured him. "Relax~" She held out the bag of skittles. "Candy?"

"Er... um..." Ryouga Hibiki had learned many things over the years, especially the more hectic ones since he'd found his way back to Nerima. Talking to pretty girls was still not one of those things. "Ah, sure... "

As he reached in, Eiko's own eyes flashed slightly as she tapped into her powers. The small pill she'd surreptitiously dropped into the bag earlier was but one of a hundred tiny candy pieces. She tapped into a fraction of her abilities to force that small pill to the top of the pile, where it was picked up.

Ryouga, his eyes focused on the bag of skittles, didn't notice. He pulled out a few small pieces and began tossing them one by one into his mouth.

"T-thanks," he muttered.

From behind her older incarnation, Reiko frowned. She didn't remember the original set of skittles having a blue-colored piece. Wait, blue colored candy? Her eyes snapped to her grinning future self.

_*POOF*_

A cloud of smoke suddenly filled the immediate area, and when it cleared an adolescent boy with fangs was looking around in confusion. _"What the hell?"_ he shrieked. He struggled to hold up his suddenly loose clothing.

"Ooh, I was _right!"_ Eiko cooed. "You look so _adorable_ with those little fangs!" She squealed and dropped down to give the de-aged martial artist a big hug. The boy's eyes went wide and a small drop of blood leaked out from his nose.

Reiko sighed.

Ryouga passed out.

* * *

><p>Outside, Haru was still standing in the middle of the field. Still frozen in position, the remains of the rock held in his hand as he replayed through his memories over and over again.<p>

Altrouge-kaasan's sister's boyfriend.

Lines and points.

Effortless breaking.

Gold eyes.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," he whispered.

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

.

_(much later)_

* * *

><p>Fortunately Ryouga still carried around several packs of spores from the Mushrooms of Time. Experience had shown Ranma was never above using some sort of magical artifact to win his fights, so Ryouga liked to be prepared for random eventualities.<p>

While he planted a few spores and waited for them to grow to the proper size, he cooked and ate a sixteen centimeter-sized one he had saved from that fateful day. He wasn't back to normal yet, but at least he was back to a teenager instead of a toddler.

Eiko stared at him with a put-off expression. _"Magical Time Mushrooms?"_ she asked in disbelief. "You're no fun at all!"

* * *

><p><em>(an) – Type-Lunatics should understand what Haru's thinking. because it makes SO much sense! it does! really! except for the gold eyes. i made that up._

_about Reiko/Eiko, if you've browsed through KittyBear's datasheet, you might have noticed Reiko and Haru both have future incarnations of themselves. the forums have them from a "GrimDark Future" timeline (somewhat cliche, but both were created to be intentionally broken). both older versions have come back to prevent their grimdark future from passing, Haru's story is still incomplete, but Reiko's has met with success... but she decided to stick around and is now called 'Eiko'._

_about the age-changing blue/red pills, that got imported when Chisame (Negima) entered the Clan. Eiko manipulated Reiko into picking up a bag of the stuff when she was younger and start passing them out. hilarity ensued. magical time mushrooms are manga!ranma canon  
><em>


	34. EC: Nerima 11

_(a/n) – i suppose i got a bit flak for the whole MEoDP thing. i'm not gonna drop the idea, i like it far too much, but i guess this chapter would be my saving throw to pull it back into ... somewhat ... plausible territory. half of it was stuff i'd planned to try to explain in this chapter anyhow, though i ended up going into more detail than i'd planned._

_the other half is just a simple retcon for the color. i took the example from arcueid, only to have it pointed out to me that using the color for the archetype of gaia was probably not the most subtle of choices. some of us on the forums thought red... then we figured it was too close to 'crimson'. we thought about blue (shiki's eyecolors)... but then realized ranma had blue eyes and that'd prolly get us deeper into trouble. so, it is now... AMBER... um.. yeah. and we've taken to calling it the mystic eyes of rock destruction (yes we're bad at names; you should see our discussion trying to think of a name for the Shirou x Miya shipping we're trying to put together for the sole purpose of slapping the label onto tvtropes. we're bad at that too.) _

_aaanyhow... enjoy this early chapter  
><em>

**Emiya Clan – Nerima 11**

* * *

><p>"No," she said around a stick of pocky.<p>

She looked to be a young girl around fourteen years of age. She was wearing the same black sweater and slacks combination that had been all anybody had ever seen her wear since she came to the house – implying she had never changed, or that she had multiple sets of the exact same wardrobe. Nobody but Shirou had ever bothered to check.

She was currently seated in her room, a futon shoved against the wall and the comforter wrapped around her body as she slouched against the floor, staring at the television. A game controller was in her hands and several boxes of pocky were lying on the floor beside her. She looked the part of stereotypical NEET, right down to the RPG she was currently playing on her game console.

And she was Haru's mother. He supposed he should feel lucky, he was one of the few people to ever see her this way.

"I'm serious!" the boy protested. "I saw it with my own eyes! His turned gold and he said he could see lines and dots on the rocks!"

"There's no way a mere Human could _learn_ Mystic Eyes of Death Perception," Altrouge Brunestud-Emiya snapped back. "That idiot boy of my sister's is a special case, and he didn't 'learn' it either." She grabbed another stick of pocky and crunched into it fiercely. "Besides, even if by some miraculous coincidence he _did_, Humans can only perceive the death of something they understand, like themselves. Other forms of life. Inanimate objects are just too impossible for their minds to comprehend."

Haru thought about that. "Well... he did train by throwing himself at boulders. Maybe he became one with the rocks?"

Mere human words could not describe the expression Altrouge gave her son.

* * *

><p>A quick change into an identical set of clothes later, which answered his earlier question, and the two were were heading out into the backyard where Haru had left their guest under Reiko's watchful eye. As they approached, they could see the Lost Boy attempting to make small talk with the younger girl, only to rebuffed with complete silence on her part. Eiko was nowhere to be seen.<p>

Ryouga looked up in relief at their approach. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me," he chuckled.

"Show me what you can do, _boya_," Altrouge ordered without preamble.

Ryouga blinked. "Hah?"

"Haru here tells me you can kill rocks, I wish to see it."

Ryouga stared at the girl in front of him. Though he towered over her, her bearing and demeanor made it seem as if she were the one looking down at him. He paled under the cold glare she was giving him and nervously backed off. "O... kay..."

He made his way further into the field, close to where he had made a crater previously. Altrouge followed him out, dropping into a crouch as he did the same. He paused as he searched for the Breaking Point in the soil beneath him to glance curiously at her. "Are you sure you want to be this close?"

"Don't worry about me," she replied impatiently. "Just do your stuff." She continued staring at him as he concentrated.

Finally he found what he was looking for, and stabbed at the ground with his finger. _"Bakusai Tenketsu!"_

Altrouge continued staring at his face throughout the subsequent explosion. Unlike Haru, however, she was completely untouched by the flying debris. She rose to her feet in one smooth motion and walked back to the others. "Good eyes, Haru, but still off."

"What?" Haru asked.

She jerked a thumb over her shoulder, "Given what he just did, it probably would be a noble-color, but it's not nearly powerful enough to be _Gold_. As _if _he'd even rate up to my stupid sister..."

Ryouga walked up, a confused expression on his face. "Um, what are you talking about?"

"Your eyes change color when you're seeking out your Breaking Point," Altrouge brought a hand up to her chin as she thought about it. "Still somewhat of yellowish... maybe Amber?" She looked back at him. "Tell me, _boya_, what else can you see these points on?"

"Ah, um... mostly just rocks, dirt... if I try hard enough I can do it to wood. Excuse me, but who are you?"

"Me? I'm this kid's mother." Altrouge waved lazily in Haru's direction, then resumed her pacing. "You can't affect living things at all? That's sort of backwards from the usual..."

"Well, no it's an ancient Chinese Mining techni– did you just say his _mother?_"

Altrouge gave a short curtsey, "Altrouge Brunestud-Emiya, Princess of the Dead Apostle Ancestors – not that it means anything to you. And _you_ are at _my_ service." She grinned.

* * *

><p>Ryouga was still frozen in shock as Altrouge slowly circled him, staring at him intently.<p>

"Hm, I barely detected any prana flow when you did that technique. You're one of those _ki_ types aren't you?"

Haru stepped in, "Yeah, he and his group are purely non-magical fighters."

"You look _way_ too young to be this guy's mother!"

Altrouge glanced over her shoulder, "Why thank you." She turned back towards her son. "Then why do I sense a strong magic around him?"

"Oh, that's probably his Jusenkyo curse."

"You _know _about that?"

"Hm? I'm not familiar with that one. Remind me?"

Haru suddenly looked apologetic. "Er, he... changes physical form when splashed with water of various temperatures."

"Hmm? Is that so~?" Altrouge looked over at the Lost Boy with renewed interest. "What does he turn into?"

Ryouga glared daggers at Haru, all but _daring_ him to answer.

"A piggy," said a quiet voice from behind him.

They all turned to see Reiko standing there, hiding her face in her doll as she blushed slightly. "Cute..." she continued.

Ryoga's face went scarlet as Haru struggled in vain to hold in his laughter.

* * *

><p>Koyuki opened the door to the infirmary carefully as she stepped out. "Thank you for your care, Chiho-kaasan," she called back into the room.<p>

"Just make sure you take it easy," Chiho warned her. "I don't want to hear that you've been doing anything more strenuous than lifting up a school bag until that heals."

Koyuki looked down at her arm, which had been set in a new cast. "I will keep that in mind," she promised as she slid out into the hallway. She'd barely closed the door when a small creature shot out from the far corner and barreled down the hallway. She flattened herself against the side just as it passed, then leaned out curiously as it made it to the next cross corridor and angled around the bend.

"Heads up!"

She pressed back just as Haru bolted down the corridor, apparently chasing whatever it was. "Hey, Koyuki! Feeling better?"

"Ah... yes, thank.. you..." Her reply was lost as he turned the corner in the same direction as the creature.

She looked back the other way to see Reiko and Altrouge following at a walking pace. She inclined her head politely. "Altrouge-kaasan, Keiko. Um, what is Haru chasing?"

Altrouge waved her hand dismissively, "Not important. Which way did he go?"

Koyuki pointed down the hallway in the direction the two chasers had disappeared.

Altrouge marched onward without a second glance. Reiko wordlessly waved at her elder sister as she passed.

Koyuki blinked in confusion for several moments, then shrugged and headed in the opposite direction in search of Karin.

* * *

><p>Ryouga was mad. Beyond mad, he was <em>furious<em>. Not only was his best-kept secret being flaunted around by people he barely knew, but that evil pint-sized mother – and he was still wondering how _that_ worked – had produced a glass of water out of nowhere and doused him to satisfy her own curiosity. What _was_ it about this curse that made random acts of water find him?

And of course he was lost. In retrospect, running away like that probably had not been the smartest of moves, but he had no desire to be closer to Altrouge than he had to be. Something about her reminded him of that old Amazon lady, and it wasn't in a good way.

Curse all these corridors, they all looked alike. He turned another one at random, hoping it led back outside. He peeked back over his shoulder to make sure if Haru was still following him or not when he suddenly ran into an obstacle and bounced back.

"Bwee!"

"What the?" His vision cleared to find him at the feet of two black-stockinged legs. He looked up to find Eiko staring down at him with a slight smirk. "Why if it isn't Ryouga-chan!"

"Bukii?"

"What are you doing down there?" she asked him in a teasing tone. She tilted her head, "Enjoying the view?"

"Bwee?" He looked confused, then remembered he was lying next to her feet. She was wearing a frilly black dress. In spite of himself, his eyes trailed back down to her legs, then followed them back up to see her–

–he passed out, a large stream of blood leaking from his porcine snout.

Eiko chuckled and reached down to scoop up the tiny black piglet. She cradled him in her arms, his black hide blending in with the sleeves of her dress just as Haru whipped around the corner.

"Eiko, have you seen a, um, little black pig-thing about this big?" He held his hands apart to indicate the tiny size. "It, um, might be wild so we need to catch it fast."

"Hmm, can't say I have. Nothing has run through this room," she said, perfectly honest. She'd stopped him before he got into the room, so nothing did pass through.

Haru didn't look entirely convinced as he stared at her smiling face, but he was pressed for time and simply continued down the previous hallway with a quick "Thanks."

Eiko stood there patiently as Altrouge and Chibi!Reiko passed by at a walk, following Haru. Altrouge ignored her, but Reiko looked up at her older incarnation and frowned slightly. Eiko simply broadened her smile.

A few minutes after they'd passed, she finally unfolded her arms to find the little black piglet awake and glaring at her suspiciously. She set him back down and took a few steps away. "What? No 'thank you'?"

"Bweh."

"That's not very nice," she frowned. She spun on her heel and walked for the door on the other side of the room. "Do whatever you want. I'm sure you can find your way out... eventually."

"Bukii..." Ryouga glared at her a few moments longer and turned around to head back the way he'd come... then paused. He looked back her retreating figure, then back at the corridor. "Bwee..."

He turned around again and trotted after Eiko, who was holding the door open for him with a grin.


	35. EC: Nerima 12

**Emiya Clan - Nerima 12**

* * *

><p>Several of the Emiya manor's many rooms were furnished as 'den' areas. They had plenty of comfortable chairs, long couches, and several broad, low tables. Some had bookshelves lining the walls and broad windows, and others had extensive AV systems. This one had bookshelves filled not with novels and magazines, but with reference books, and had a drafting table at one end. The younger Emiya children had been taught to use theirs as <em>the<em> study room. The older kids... hadn't, much to Shirou's regret.

Karin had long since converted one of these rooms to her own little command and control center. With a bit of creative rewiring, she now had a tap on eighty-percent of the security cameras under Matsu's control, supplementing the few dozen she had scattered around the house herself. She made no secret of the time she spent here; though the bedroom she shared with her sister was just down the hall, it had been seeing fewer and fewer use from her lately. If she wasn't at school or the occasional trip outside, chances were fairly high she could be found holed up in here. Naturally, this was the first place Koyuki went after she had been released from Chiho's care.

"Hey 'Yuki." The junior hacker greeted her without turning around, choosing instead to continue staring at the bank of monitors in front of her. The screens shifted periodically, the largest one in the center showing progressive camera views as Haru raced around the house after a small animal.

Koyuki silently closed the door – not that it mattered to the redhead – and turned towards the other two occupants in the room. Keiko and Sakuya, at least, still used the room for its intended purpose. Keiko appeared focused on the paperwork in front of her; Sakuya was smiling as she looked up from her own classwork.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"A bit," replied the snow girl. "Chiho-kaasan warned me to not take part in any further 'strenuous' activities."

"I should hope so," Sakuya said. "I don't like having to watch you getting beat up like that, much less carry your unconscious self around."

"Ah," Koyuki lowered her eyes. "sorry..." She looked back towards Karin, still busy manually shifting her cameras around to different viewpoints. "What is Karin watching today?"

"Oh," Keiko finally paused and looked up. "Just after you got taken inside, some guy busted through the walls in the backyard. I think it's one of Ranma's friends. Haru seemed to recognize him."

"Ranma-sama's friend? Bursting through the wall?" Koyuki searched her memories, trying to recall what she had learned of her Ashikabi's acquaintances. She lifted her head and faced the monitors. "Ryouga-san?"

"Yeah, that was him. Anyhow, Karin's been keeping an eye on him." Keiko's eyes narrowed and she raised her voice slightly. "And she needs to remember I'm not in her class so she can't copy homework off of me!"

"That's what 'Yuki-chan's here for," came the light reply from the hacker.

"..." Koyuki sighed and headed for the table, where she found Sakuya had helpfully pulled out her schoolbag and set it in her spot. "So how is Ryouga-san, sister?" she asked as she sat down and rummaged through her bag one-handed.

"He sparred with Haru, whooped his ass, then did something which caused Haru to actually pull Altrouge-chan out of her room." Karin answered. "Keiko, you'll be interested to know he can make the ground explode."

"Ooh..."

"Anyhow, Altrouge-chan did something to him – cameras couldn't quite make it out what – and suddenly Haru's playing hide-and-seek with a black ball of... something." Karin stabbed at her keyboard in annoyance and spun around in her chair. "He's got a Jusenkyo curse, but he's too fast. I lost him during a camera switch."

"You don't know what he turns into?" Sakuya blinked. "That's rare, didn't you get a full dossier from Matsu-kaasan's research?"

There was the sound of someone knocking at the door and Karin got up to answer it. "Oh, I know. I was just hoping to see it in person. He turns into this really cute– oh, hey Eiko."

The unofficial eldest Emiya was smiling as she entered the room. "Hello, Karin-chan. Oh good, Koyuki-chan's here as well."

"Eiko-nee," Koyuki greeted. "How can I help you?"

"Nothing really," Eiko replied. "I just wanted you to meet your new teacher."

"Eh?"

_"Bukii?"_

Heads turned at the sudden squeal, all four teens suddenly noticing the very wide eyes staring at them from chest-height. Karin leaned in to take a closer look.

"Eiko-chan, is that... a pig you're carrying?" The black coloring was almost identical to the woman's dress, which gave it almost perfect camouflage.

The time-traveler smiled and picked him up by a bandanna which they hadn't noticed before. The tiny piglet flailed helplessly as she held him in front of Koyuki for a few moments, then dropped him as the other girl obligingly held out her good hand.

Koyuki stared for a few moments at Eiko, then looked down at the animal in her palm. "Ryouga-san?" she asked softly.

"Bwee."

A soft blush grew on the snow girl's face. "How cute..."

"...bweh."

* * *

><p>"I think I liked you better as a pig," Karin sighed.<p>

Back in his human form, Ryouga – wrapped in a spare blanket they had pulled out from one of the side rooms – glared daggers at her.

"What? You were much cuter that way"

Eiko returned to the room, carrying Ryouga's travel bag over her shoulder. She placed it on the floor, where it was quickly snatched up by the blushing boy and dragged over to the other end of the room. He quickly pulled out a spare set of clothes, then looked up at the five girls staring at him.

"Is something missing?" Eiko asked him innocently.

"Could you um, give me some privacy?" he asked.

Sakuya pouted, **"You're no fun at all..."** She simply turned her back on him, the other four eventually following suit.

"Um... I was thinking more along the lines of you... maybe leaving the room?"

"Dress faster or we're turning around!" Karin shouted. Her head was down and she suddenly leaned into Keiko heavily, a clear sign for the others that she had 'dived' into a nearby digital network.

Keiko sighed. "You didn't tell him about the cameras..." she whispered.

"No~ope" The hacker chuckled. "Nfufufufu~"

There was a few moments before Ryouga gave them the all-clear, still blushing as he rejoined them. "Now then," he said, turning towards Eiko. "What were you saying about me being a teacher?"

"Exactly what I meant," the elder replied. She pointed at the Lost Boy. "You," she swung her hand towards Koyuki, "... are going to train her how to fight."

"What?" he and Koyuki asked in stereo.

"But what about Arika-nee?" Koyuki continued.

"He's better than Arika," Eiko replied with certainty.

"Then, Haru-nii?"

"Hm... it depends if he's holding back or not. Skill-wise, I think Ryouga-chan's still better."

"Why not somebody else in the family?"

"Most of us are weapon users. We wouldn't be able to teach you anything except our own specialties." Eiko looked at the snow girl in the eye. "Musubi-kaasan might work, but honestly I think she'd drive you nuts trying to learn from her."

Koyuki looked at her arm. "I would not be able to fight in this condition. Chiho-kaasan was quite insistent."

"Well, to be honest we don't really need you to learn how to _fight_ per se. Arika did have one thing right, we need you to learn to defend yourself better." Eiko raised her hand to forestall any further arguments. "It's not a bad idea to get Haru and Arika, or even Kumako to help out once in a while. But ultimately, if you want to beat that Shampoo girl, this guy's your best bet for figuring out where you stand."

Ryouga frowned. "You're challenging Shampoo?" He shook his head, "She's way out of your league."  
>Koyuki looked down, "I know."<p>

Keiko growled, "This is stupid. We can't just leave this to Koyuki. If she's gonna train, then so am I. She's not the only long-ranged fighter who needs to learn how to dodge."

"I want in too," Sakuya said.

All of them looked at Karin, who was just now straightening out with a goofy grin on her face.

"What?" She looked around nervously. "I'm not a fighter, I stay in the back."

Keiko hummed thoughtfully. "You know Karin, if I get through this training and you go without it, I don't think you'll ever be able to catch me again for your Happy-Fun-Time..."

Karin slapped her hand on the table. "When do we start?"

Ryouga's eyes were wide. "Uh...?"

"You don't want to know," Eiko assured him.

* * *

><p>Ryouga paced in front of the children gathered in the backyard. "I guess I should first ask how you've all been training until now?"<p>

Arika and Haru looked at each other "At the beginning, Musubi-kaasan would show us various hand-to-hand styles until we found one we liked..." Arika said.

"...and then she'd beat the crap out of us with it," Haru continued.

Ryouga stared at the two of them, then looked towards the others.

"Mother mostly trained me how to not let my powers go out of control," Sakuya said plainly. I'm in the track and field club at my school so I get enough exercise, but my sparring is mostly against Keiko."

"Shooting range," Keiko said. "And running away from her," she pointed at Karin.

"I like chasing her," the other redhead said with a grin.

"You three don't have any formal combat training?" Ryouga asked in disbelief. "And you _beat _Ranma?"

"Well, it was sort of a tie," Keiko grumbled. "We were mostly playing tag. He beat the crap out of us, then Koyuki 'tagged' him when he thought we were down."

Ryouga looked at the girl in question, who was visibly blushing from her seated position behind the others. Eiko and Reiko sat beside her, both nodding sagely.

"Well, how good is your mother?"

"Musubi-kaasan?" Haru cocked his head to the side. "Mm, you should be finding out in a few moments."

"What?" Ryouga suddenly became aware of a whistling sound that was gradually growing in volume. He looked around frantically, then up towards the sky.

"...fffiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"

***WHAM***

Musubi fell from the sky, apparently having leapt from one of the upper floors of the building. Ryouga had not managed to get out of her path in time and she landed on top of him, dropping to her knees in a position very familiar to her family.

Shinta and Kumako landed behind the group and – still having leftover momentum – bounced over the assembled group before they came to a stop beside their mother and the boy now knocked prone beneath her. Shinta was shaking his head, "I swear, you do that on purpose Kaa-san."

Musubi tapped a fist against her head, "Eheh~" then looked down at the very red face between her legs. "So you're the new guy? I want to fight you!"

Ryouga passed out. Again.

* * *

><p>BOOM.<p>

"Come back!"

CRASH.

_"Get away from me!"_

All but forgotten on the sidelines, the children had joined Koyuki sitting down on the grass as they watched the two blurring combatants. Musubi was chasing the Lost Boy back and forth across the field, the latter finding she was able to ignore his blows just as well as he was able to ignore hers. That is, whenever she was able to land a hit on him. Mostly she simply missed and hit the ground, leaving craters of sizes that rivaled his Breaking Point's.

"Mommy's having fun!" Kumako chirped.

RIP

"Where did he get that boulder from?" Arika blinked. "He just... pulled it out of the ground. Did we have a boulder there?"

"I have no idea..." Haru said.

CRUNCH.

Sakuya winced. "That looked like it could have hurt..."

"It's Kaa-chan," Shinta said confidently. "She wont have noticed."

_"OOH, NEW GAME?"_

RIP

Arika blinked again. "Where did _she_ get that boulder from?"

WHAM.

* * *

><p>Ryouga – bruised, battered, but not quite beaten – paced in front of the children again. "So, tell me why this crazy lady can't train you?"<p>

Said crazy lady was currently being held down by shadow binds, clumps of snow against her legs, and Kumako sitting in her lap. She had a very put-out expression on her face, but otherwise looked none the worse for wear.

"Because she goes almost full-out every time she does so. It's completely overwhelming for most of us," Haru said.

"We're assuming that you, at least, can hold yourself back just enough to work on their skills," Eiko chimed in.

Ryouga waved his hand to take in the whole group. "I can't possibly train all of you."

"What about..." All eyes turned towards Koyuki who was looking down with a blush on her cheeks. "What if you asked Ranma-sama to help you?"

The Lost Boy looked uncertain. "He _is _supposed to take over the Tendou Dojo, but if he were the teaching type then Akane-san would be much better than she is right now..."

Eiko shrugged, "It wouldn't hurt to ask. Besides, whether you get him to help out or not, you _will_ be training us." Her eyes took on a distant, mystical air. _"I have foreseen it."_

Keiko threw an annoyed glare at the time-traveler. "How long have you been waiting to use _that_ line?"

"About half a century."


	36. F:SD 13

**Fate/School Days – 13**

* * *

><p>Sato looked around at the controlled chaos that was Class 1-1's Maid Café. So far things had been going rather well. The room had been cleared of all but two of the student's desks and replaced with circular tables, each with three stools placed evenly around them. The decorations group had chosen to use table cloths in bright, pastel colors – colors matched by the curtains they had laid over the ones already covering the windows.<p>

Emiya-san had somehow programmed the two remaining student desks to act as cash registers, which certainly made handling the customers a lot smoother than he would have thought possible. The uniforms she had provided to the class all fit perfectly; many of the girls were gushing over the designs, while the boys grudgingly admitted they weren't as bad as they were expecting.

Sato, while equally impressed with the fit, was mildly concerned that Karin had never asked for measurements from anybody before having the costumes made.

The food group had decided on serving pastries and other snack items. Though a good deal of it was taken from nearby bakeries, a majority of the students tried to save their budget by chipping in home-baked selections, turning it into a bake sale of sorts. All in all, everything seemed to be running quite smoothly. It was still early in the day, so customers were still mostly absent, but everybody figured the rush would start around the time of lunch or just after it.

Deciding there was still time to spare, he looked around for the Class Rep, finding the boy working one of the registers. "_Iincho_," he called out.

"Yeah?"

"Mind if I take a quick break before the rush? I want to look around," Sato explained.

The Class Rep checked the clock briefly, then nodded. "Sure, don't be gone too long, though."

* * *

><p>Just as he'd stepped outside the door, he was stopped by a pair of students. The red, spikey-haired boy had the uniform of a second year. His companion had her light-purple hair pulled into a ponytail and was dressed like a carhop from one of those American restaurants. She was wearing a set of roller blades on her feet, probably allowed only because of the event itself.<p>

"Hey," the redhead greeted. "This is Koyuki's class, right?"

Sato blinked, "Uh, yes it is..."

"Ooh," the roller-waitress clapped her hands together. "Are you guys serving ice cream yet?"

"Huh?" Sato tried to recall the café's food selection. "Um, not... yet?"

"Darn," she pouted. She turned back to her companion, "Maybe later?"

Sato stared in confusion as the two walked/skated back down the hallway.

* * *

><p>Class 1-2 had also put together a café, though once they had gotten wind of Class 1-1's efforts, they had made theirs into a hot-food variety. Sato left the room, munching contentedly on a small tray of takoyaki as he continued down the hallway towards Class 1-3.<p>

He walked into a den of utter chaos. Lights and sounds filled the air; the room had been crammed with all sorts of carnival games. There were several ring-tossing games, a sandbag-tossing game, and several sets of knock-down-the-target type games. He headed for the one with the most people crowded around it, a brightly colored display with rows of small box candies. As he pushed his way through he saw a student aiming at the cans with a plastic rifle. There was a brief twanging sound as he fired, a small plastic pellet striking one of the boxes and knocking it down, but it simply flopped back onto the shelf it was resting on. There was a chorus of groans from his friends around him.

"Test your luck and your skills!" the redhead behind the counter called out. He recognized her as one of Karin's sisters, Keiko. "Forty yen per shot. Knock a prize to the ground and it's yours to take!"

Sato made his way to the front, "Why luck?"

Keiko turned towards him with a smile, "Like you just saw, even if you hit it, sometimes it wont actually fall off. Also random bullets have a... special feature to them which will aid you!"

Sato belatedly noticed that the wall behind the display had an odd pattern of scorch marks...

The previous customer slapped another coin on the counter and loaded another pellet from the provided basket. Taking aim once more, he took his next shot. This time there was a loud crack, and the targeted box didn't fall down, so much as exploded outright. There was mix of whoops and groans from his friends as Keiko picked up the remains of the packaging.

"Congrats!" she cried. "You've won... burnt-flavored candy!" She poked at the remains a bit as she handed it to him. "There might still be a few good ones in there..."

The student raised his 'prize' in triumph as his friends laughed at him, then retreated from the booth. Keiko filled the empty slot with a new prize and turned expectant eyes towards Sato.

"Care to try?"

* * *

><p>"Oi, Sato!" A cheerful voice greeted.<p>

"Yo, Harima," Sato said as he walked up to the doorway. He looked his friend up and down. "You seem better."

Harima's eyes and face suddenly went blank. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said flatly. Life, and a grin, returned to his expression, "Looking around? Wait until you see what we've got here."

"Oh, aren't you just running a haunted house?"

"Not just any haunted house," Harima replied. "This one's actually... kind of scary."

As if to punctuate his statement, there was a high-pitched shriek from inside and Harima was nearly bowled over as a burly third year all but ran him over. Sato managed to step aside just in time and watched as the sobbing boy ran down the hallway. He turned back towards his friend, who had picked himself up and was brushing his sleeves in annoyance.

"That's been happening all day," he grumbled. He turned towards the next customers, a nervous looking couple, and took their tickets with a cheerful wave. "See you on the other side~" he said in a deep voice. The presentation was on the wrong side of narm, yet the couple – no, the entire line behind them – broke into shivers at his proclamation. He turned back to Sato, "Want to buy a ticket?"

Sato looked unconvinced. "Well..."

"You have doubts," Harima nodded sagely. "This is expected, that's what all of these people think. _Ooh, scary, a haunted house. What will we ever do?_ But we have something new. Something _special!_"

Another set of cries echoed from the room and the couple inside ran out as if their lives depended on it. The girlfriend came out first, knocking Sato over, completely ignoring her blubbering boyfriend as she dragged him across the floor."

Harima leaned down and offered a hand up, "You okay there?"

Sato glared and held up a wad of bills, "Shut up and take my money."

* * *

><p>Disbelief gave way into uncertainty as he stood in line. The fact that easily eighty-percent of the people who went in came out shrieking seemed somewhat unbelievable. The other twenty percent were quiet, but by no means unaffected. Sato tried telling himself the last room was merely a student asking their customers to act the way they had. Just to hype up the whole experience.<p>

Uncertainty gave way into nervousness. What if this wasn't some odd trick? What if there really was something scary enough in there to strike utter terror into the hearts of the student population? Unbidden, his mind started dredging up unspeakable horrors, traumatizing experiences from his childhood. He looked at the students in front of him and saw faces filled with nervous expectations. Behind him were faces still showing cynical disbelief. He tried to pull himself back into that mindset and failed miserably.

* * *

><p><em>I knew it, this was all just hype.<em>

The first room just inside the entrance was statues, poorly made busts of skulls, vampires, zombies, and the second one involved several students jumping out from recessed areas. Their face paint showed up brightly under a black light, giving the overall impression that their eyes were empty, hollow sockets. It wasn't a bad effort, and truth be told it was more than Sato would have expected from a student-run scare house. But it still didn't induce mind-numbing terror that he'd been half expecting.

The room after that was a gallery of sorts. Sato was wary of any sudden motion, but after a few moments where nothing happened, he decided it really was just some art gallery. The portraits running down both walls were simply crude representations of most of the mythical creatures in Japanese folklore, complete with labels. Though some of them were a bit frightening simply because they were so ugly, there were a handful that were painted abnormally cutesy, leading Sato to believe more than a few of the students didn't quite understand the point of the exercise.

He rounded a looping corridor which seemed to serve no other purpose than to take up space, then he saw a poorly lit room with the exit at the end. Feeling somewhat disappointed, he headed towards the literal light at the end of the tunnel without a backwards glance.

Suddenly he froze. It had nothing to do with the sudden chill that crept down his spine. It had nothing to do with the sudden... silence that fell over him. Where before, he had heard the humming from the overhead lights and the faint sound of conversation – the walls weren't exactly sound-proofed – there was nothing. He couldn't even hear his own heartbeat. It had nothing to do with that.

It had _everything_ to do with the sudden feeling of slimy appendages wrapping themselves around his arms and legs. It had everything to do with the shadowy figure rising from the ground to interpose itself between him and the exit. He couldn't make out any details, dark hair obscured the figure's face and for a brief moment, he allowed himself to wonder if The Ring's Sadako really existed.

Through pure willpower, he ripped himself free of his restraints, stumbling away from the approaching figure. In his haste, he bumped into an immovable object behind him, turning around to look into a shadowy version of one of the paintings he'd just passed. The figure grinned and reached towards him with a limb and he spun back towards the exit.

He blinked. The Sadako figure was closer. He hadn't heard her move and she was standing still even now. Suddenly, between blinks, she was closer still. He shouted in surprise, but heard no sounds escape his mouth. Instead, a high-pitched hum filled the air like a bad horror movie. An arm latched on to his own, he looked over to see a cheerful, cutesy-looking monster tugging on his hand. Like the others, it leeched all the light from the air, a soul-sucking shadow that smiled happily at him. He could almost hear it saying, _"Play with us~"_

_This isn't funny, guys!_ He tried to say it, but again heard nothing. He wrenched his arm from the little monster's grasp and looked back up to check on the Sadako figure.

She wasn't there.

The exit was clear... he should just get up and get out. Above all else he _knew_ that he _should not turn his head._ That was the oldest trick in the movies; the victim doesn't take the chance to escape but rather they look back and doom themselves. Yet... something still compelled him to turn his head fearfully over his shoulder.

He stared into a face not two inches from his own. He was close enough that he could stare directly at the wide, possessed eyes through the curtain of hair that separated them. They were black, a complete void, he thought he heard Ominous Latin Chanting as he stared into their depths.

With a strangled cry, he scrambled to his feet and flung himself towards the light. His breaths were coming out in raw gasps and he suddenly realized he could _hear_ again.

He cried out. He could _hear_ himself cry out. He felt such relief at that realization that he screamed again. And again. He screamed all the way back towards the door and beyond, reaffirming his existence through that simple action.

* * *

><p>Harima caught him with a surprisingly strong arm. He grinned at his panting friend.<p>

"How was it?" he asked innocently.

Sato punched him.


	37. F:SD 14

**Fate/School Days – 14**

* * *

><p>Karin was having fun.<p>

She couldn't help it. Cultural Festivals were always a day for everybody to kick back and relax. It was a _festival_. Not only did some of the students decide to party hard, they often decided to party in quite inventive ways.

And they often forgot the school's cameras were still active, even if the teachers who monitored them were out enjoying the festival themselves. For Karin herself, it was blackmail fodder enough to coerce months of personal servitude. Being able to prance around in a nosebleed-inducing costume was just icing on the cake.

A dazed looking Sato shuffled through the open door and Karin grinned at him. "Welcome back, Number-4! You're just in time, Number-1 wanted to take a break!"

The Class Rep looked slightly pained at his moniker, but nodded towards the other student. "Sato, can I trouble you to take over the register?"

"Give me a few minutes, _iincho_," Sato replied, sitting down heavily on an empty stool. "I'm not feeling so good..."

"Aah," Karin nodded sagely. "You went to the Haunted House, didn't you?"

Sato stared at her with a haunted expression.

Karin dropped a chocolate cupcake on the table in front of him. "Here, eat this. It'll make you feel better." She bounced over to the cash register and dropped a few coins next to Class Rep. "Hmm, if Sakuya's going full out we're gonna need some more chocolate..."

There was a clatter from outside the room, and suddenly Koyuki appeared, pushing a heavy metal container through the doorway. "Sister, it's ready now," she said.

Karin's eyes lit up as she watched her sibling guide the container around the tables towards the back of the room where they kept the rest of the food. "Ooh, what do we got?"

Koyuki lifted one of the three lids for inspection, "This one is store bought with flavors I couldn't make. The other two are mine." She suddenly snapped out a hand, catching Karin's as she tried to sneak a spoon under the lid. "These are for the customers, Sister."

Karin pouted, then turned towards several costumed waitresses lounging by the door. "Numbers-3, 6, 8, 9; you all have your flyers?"

"_Hai_, Karin-san!"

She swept out her arm in a dramatic pose, "Then go forth... and advertise!"

* * *

><p>"This is a ripoff! There's no way this can work!"<p>

Keiko arched an eyebrow at the vocal student. "It's perfectly possible. You're just not hitting it right."

The other student glared at her, then slapped down another yen piece and loaded another pellet. His shot struck true, hitting the packet dead-center and knocking it over... but still on the shelf it rested on. "See? This is rigged! Even if you hit it, the thing doesn't fall. Not unless you get one of your 'special' pellets."

Keiko set the fallen package back upright and turned around. "Like I said, you're not hitting it right."

"What other way is there? I say you're cheating!"

Keiko made an annoyed grumble and turned to one of classmates. "Watch the table for a sec." She reached out and snatched the rifle from the boy's grasp and picked up a handful of pellets. She walked around the table, loading a series of pellets into the breech, then hefted the rifle over her shoulder. Still walking away from the table – without even turning around – she fired once, twice, three times. With each shot, a different prize was knocked backwards, spinning as they fell off the shelf and to the floor.

She spun on her heel and walked back to the stunned group, thrusting the toy gun back into the silent student's hands as her classmate picked up the prizes and put them back up. "Not the right spot," she repeated. "Care to try again?"

She let her classmate take over the booth as she stepped back into the crowd. She watched as a student from another class walked in dressed as a maid. She was clutching a stack of papers, one of which she picked up and began to wave around. "Hee~ey! Class 1-1's café now has a special treat selection! Limited while supplies last, so get your serving as soon as you can!"

Keiko took a flyer from the girl and scanned it briefly. She felt a very large smile growing on her face, "Oh _yes_..."

* * *

><p>Sakuya waited patiently for her next victim.<p>

She knew she shouldn't have been enjoying this so much, but it really was exciting. Using her bounded field it was simple to block out all noises from carrying within the room. The high-pitched whine took a bit of effort, but the results definitely helped set the mood. Yin would probably be giving her hell for this later, but in the meantime, she was having the most fun she'd had in years.

Her senses triggered as a new customer stepped into her field. Quickly, she raised it to full strength and set herself. As soon as the person stepped fully into the room, she quickly snagged them with her tentacles. She felt her latest victim struggling against their bonds, taking that as her cue she formed a shadow clone of herself, setting it to rise ominously from the floor. From her position she watched her victim as their face snapped forward. With the light from the exit, she caught a reflection of silver eyes...

She suddenly felt feedback as her clone froze in place. Frowning, she summoned more tentacles to re-instill panic, but gasped silently as they too were frozen in place. She turned back to her shadow clone, seeing it take on a metallic texture... She dropped her bounded field entirely and rose from concealment. **"Riko-nee?"**

"Hey, Sakuya-chan!" the half-gorgon smiled at her as she replaced her glasses. She was still wearing her rollerblades and skated over to the newly created statue. "That was a pretty good show, you almost had me there."

**"Thank you,"** she said smugly. **"What brings you here?"**

In response, Riko held up a flyer that the Class 1-1's maids had been passing out. Sakuya had no problem reading even in the dim lighting.

**"I see..."**

"Exactly," Riko grinned. "Wanna grab some? Aoshi's waiting outside." She

**"Sure, let me just tell them I'm going on break."**

"Okay," Riko started skating for the exit. "Oh, and Yin?"

**"Hm?"**

Riko paused at the exit to stare at her sister. "...Yin?"

Sakuya stopped and frowned. **"...spoilsport."** She shook her head, her expression lightening somewhat. "Better?"

"Much. C'mon."

* * *

><p>Sato was confused. He looked across the café from his place behind the register; the Class Rep had taken his break and was wandering the floor, stretching his legs out.<p>

It had barely been ten minutes since Karin had sent out her minions to advertise their little café, yet somehow word had spread faster than he would have thought possible. They were completely swamped now. Karin's sister Keiko had been the first sign of the incoming wave, marching straight up to the pushcart Koyuki had brought in. She left holding a small cup, which she cradled protectively in her hands as she found a seat. Sato watched as she took a spoonful of the treat and tossed it back, then his mouth dropped as she shivered in visible pleasure.

The second-year roller-waitress and spikey red-head were the next to enter, closely followed by Karin's other sister, Sakuya. Like Keiko, all three made a beeline for Koyuki and received their own portions. They joined Keiko at her table, reacting much in the same way she had as the finished their first spoonfuls. Other students nearby had noticed the display as well, and a crowd began to form around the pushcart.

"Ooh, I wish I wasn't working," Karin moaned.

He looked over and saw his coworker fidgeting and staring at the crowd. "What's going on? What did Koyuki-san bring?"

Karin stared at him as if the answer were obvious, "Ice cream, of course." She wailed plaintively. "She doesn't make it very often... I hope she doesn't run out."

Sato blinked at her, then again as a mass of third years descended upon the room. They were led by the school idol, Fuuko Emiya, who took the time to throw a wink at her sister as she made her way to the growing line.

Karin fumed, "Hah, hah! Sure, laugh it up!"

Sato was _very_ confused now. What was so special about ice cream?

* * *

><p><em>Back at Class 1-4<em>

"So... if Sakuya-san is on break, who's running the Haunted House?"

Harima shined a flashlight on the statues. "Well, she did leave her props here, but how the heck are we supposed to move them?"

"I don't see any joints for them to move. Anybody see a remote-control?"

"Nope."

"No."

Saori tapped the iron sculpture standing in the middle of the floor. "This doesn't look so scary now... she must be a really good puppeteer."

One of the students tried to shift the statue, "Gah! This is _heavy!_ How did she move it around so fast?"

The Class Rep looked over at Harima. "Put up a 'Temporarily Closed' sign?"

Harima shrugged.


	38. EC: Nerima 13

_(a/n) – i'm trying a new section break thing. gonna use this break "..." from now on, except when there's drastic scene cuts maybe._**  
><strong>

**Emiya Clan – Nerima 13**

* * *

><p>"Ranma-sama."<p>

The martial artist didn't answer at first, completing the kata's sequence he'd been moving through. Though his movements were precise, they still transitioned from form to form with the fluidity of a dancer. After a few moments, he returned to his ready stance for a heartbeat, then dropped it altogether as he looked up.

Koyuki was perched on the top of the wall surrounding the Tendou's property. He was about to return her greeting when she lifted an arm and pointed towards the main gate...

...and then her arm fell off.

"What the–" He watched as her head turned to look at the fallen limb, the motion causing it to lose cohesion as well and crumble into pieces of... snow. Blinking in confusion, he caught a few pieces as her whole body dissolved into powder, watching the small flakes dissolve into water droplets in the summer heat. He made his way to the front gate and found another Koyuki standing there impassively.

"Uh, hi," he said warily. "Y'know, if you wanted to come in, you could have just hopped the fence and do so. We're used to people just barging in like that."

"I did not wish to disturb the rest of the household," she replied. "However, would it be possible for you to call Akane-san outside? I have a request that would involve the two of you."

**ooo**

Akane narrowed her eyes as she saw their guest standing out in the yard. She glared at Ranma out of the corner of her eye, but softened the look when it became apparent her fiancé was as confused as she was. She returned her gaze to the snow girl. "How's your arm?" she asked diplomatically.

Ranma's eyes snapped towards Koyuki's side. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed that detail, but Koyuki hadn't exactly been telegraphing her disability.

Her good shoulder shifted almost imperceptibly in a shrug. "I'm not currently in any pain, I anticipate complete recovery within the week. In the meantime, however, I have been banned from performing any strenuous physical activities."

"That sounds boring," Ranma said in sympathy. He could recall plenty of instances where he'd been bedridden after some major fight or another, and had been bored out of his mind each time.

Koyuki nodded, "As the rest of my family is engaged in training, I find myself at a loss as to how I should spend my time." She stared at Ranma and Akane in turn, then looked down, her stance becoming less confident. "I was... wondering if you would like to show me around the city..."

***Twitch***

"Oh, Ranma!" Akane squealed. "Isn't this this something, you've got a girl asking you to _take her out and show her around..._"

"Uh, Akane... I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant," Ranma quickly spun towards Koyuki. "That's not what you meant, right? Hey, Akane, put down the mallet..."

"Ah," Koyuki's quiet voice interrupted. "I mean for the two of you, together."

***SNAP***

"Oh, Ranma! Even better, you've got a _pervert_ for a girlfriend!" She swung her weapon around like a baseball player, _"Ranma no baka!"_

She suddenly froze as the force of the swing separated Ranma's head from his body. Even as the two pieces melted into the air, she heard a splash and watched Ranma-chan pulling herself out from the koi-pond. The transformed martial artist wrung the water from her shirt before she retied her belt around her waist with a grumble.

"Good to see you're getting better with that," Ranma-chan said to Koyuki. "But did you have to knock me into the pond?"

Koyuki blushed. "I was not watching where I was aiming," she admitted. "I apologize." She turned back to Akane who was still silently fuming. "Akane-san, please recall our conversation a few nights ago. While I do wish to get to know Ranma-sama better, I do not want to deny you the opportunity as well."

The other girl glared at her for a few moments, then dismissed her mallet with a sigh. "Fine, but I'll be keeping my eye on you. Once the pervert changes back we can go."

**ooo**

"Can you roof hop?" Ranma was rubbing a towel through his hair after grabbing dousing himself with a steaming kettle and grabbing a spare change of clothes. Akane paused in her stretches to wait for the other girl's answer.

"Ordinarily, yes," Koyuki replied. "At the moment..." she looked at her arm. "I am afraid that would count as 'strenuous physical activity'."

Akane was about to make snide remark, but recalled the snow girl's last visit and how she'd been almost anemic after merely walking to the Tendou's. She kept her mouth shut as Ranma simply nodded.

"Okay, I'll admit I know the city's aerial view better than street level," he said with a wink in Akane's direction. "But I can wing it. Anywhere you wanted to see in particular?"

Koyuki thought about it.

**ooo**

"A pet store?"

Koyuki nodded and leaned against the storefront. "I like puppies. We have a dog back home, but he was already grown before I was born."

Akane nodded, "Your family's dog must be one of the larger breeds?"

"Primy? Yes, he is... quite large." Koyuki gently placed a hand on the glass opposite a tiny puppy holding itself up. "It is always so interesting to see them so small..."

"Dogs aren't so bad..." Ranma made sure to keep the two girls between himself and the front entrance. Pet stores tended to carry the most evil of creatures and he wanted to make sure there was no chance one of them could escape and assault him. "Now, _cats_ on the other hand..."

Ranma's sentence was lost under the sound of screeching tires and a small bell chime. The two girls spun around to find him bowled over by a bicycle, the rear wheel still balanced on the back of his head.

The rider waved merrily at them, _"Nihao!"_

Akane growled and rolled up her sleeves, "Shampoo!"

Koyuki settled into rigidity, her face not betraying her emotions.

Ranma groaned and picked himself up, idly brushing at the treadmarks covering the back of his shirt. "Whaddya want now, Shampoo?"

"Shampoo come so _airen_ can ask out on date, of course!"

Ranma frowned and dropped an arm casually across Akane's shoulders. She bristled, but he pretended to ignore it. "Didn't you learn anything after our _wedding_ attempt? I'm not gonna take you out on a date like that."

Koyuki's shoulders slumped slightly at his statement.

"Besides, I'm already booked for the rest of the day," he continued. "Me an' Akane are showing Koyuki around the city since she's new to the place."

The cat girl glanced at the snow girl through narrowed eyes. "Shampoo know New-Girl. How is arm?"

Koyuki stared back at her impassively, "It will heal, Shampoo-san. Thank you for your concern."

Ranma looked back at the flat tone of her voice, then turned to face the amazon. "What's that about?" he asked her.

"Is nothing," she replied. "New-Girl challenge Shampoo. She lose, just like Violent-Girl did."

Akane threw off Ranma's arm, "Wait one minute, _you_ broke her arm!"

Ranma blinked, "Wait, what?"

Shampoo tittered, "Shampoo not know New-Girl so weak. _Airen_ should choose better wife. Shampoo best wife over these two."

Ranma narrowed his eyes, "Shampoo..."

"_Airen_ no worry, Shampoo already asked by... Great-Grandmother to not pick on weak girls." She cast another narrow-eyed glare at Koyuki, "Now if Weak Girls wanted to challenge Shampoo again, of course Shampoo will answer."

"That may come in the near future, Shampoo-san," Koyuki said quietly. "Once my injuries have healed I will begin training so that I may answer your properly."

"Good. Shampoo look forward." She turned back to Ranma, "Now, _airen_, is time for date, yes?"

Akane stepped forward, "Enough! He is not taking you on a date, so leave now or I'll _make_ you leave!"

Shampoo grinned wickedly, "Sound to Shampoo like challenge."

Ranma placed a hand on Akane's shoulder to calm her down, "Uh, Akane..."

Akane threw it off angrily. "Yes! That's a challenge! Now get out of here before I–"

In a sudden blur of motion, Shampoo was off her bike and behind the Tendou, her hand raised and pointed in a knife-strike to the back of her neck.

Akane barely sidestepped in time, the amazon's nails scraping across her cheek as they passed. She dropped into a sweeping kick, which Shampoo dodged by jumping into a somersault over her head.

Ranma blurred into motion himself, coming up behind Shampoo just as she landed and grabbing an arm in a vise-grip. "Stop it! Akane, she's out of your league. Shampoo, back down!"

"Don't interfere, Ranma!" Akane shouted. "I can take her!"

He glared, "No you can't."

_"Yes I can!"_

Shampoo threw an amused glance at her captor. "Violent-Girl say she can. Shampoo say give her try?"

"Shut it."

Akane's face was twisted with fury. "You wont even let me _try!_ How can we get married if you wont _trust_ me?"

Ranma shook his head, "Don't do it, Akane..."

"I'm happy you want to protect me," she hiccupped as she struggled to hold back angry tears. "But I can fight my own battles too!"

Ranma stared over her shoulder at Koyuki. At Koyuki's arm. "I just don't want you to get hurt too."

"Do you love me?"

Three heads snapped towards the shaking girl. Ranma's eyes went wide, "Uh..."

"You don't have to say it," Akane ran a fist over her eyes and glared at the amazon. "But if you do, you'll let me do this. Otherwise it means you have no respect for me as a martial artist. You can't love someone you don't respect."

Ranma was quiet for a long moment. Koyuki and Shampoo's eyes darted back and forth between the two. Then they locked onto Ranma as he sighed and stepped away from Shampoo, releasing her arm.

Shampoo grinned and cracked her knuckles, "Shampoo accept challenge."

**ooo**

Akane swung wildly, a haymaker from her right which promised painful vengeance for her wounded pride. Like the twenty or so times before, Shampoo simply skipped out of the way and stood a few steps away from the berserking girl. Her hands on her hips, a mocking smile on her face. The Tendou growled deep in her throat and launched herself at her faster opponent.

Koyuki watched her with a critical eye. Akane was certainly heads above herself in strength and speed. In close combat, she would probably not last very long against the Tendou. However, even she could see the other girl's strikes were wild, undisciplined. Yet at the same time she had a remarkable situational awareness. No matter which direction Shampoo would escape to, she would follow up with a strike in the appropriate direction. Despite her power-heavy attacks, she never let herself become unbalanced, moving across the street with stable, deliberate footing.

She concluded Akane would fair very well against swarms of opponents of equal skill level, which was still several levels above what Koyuki had come to expect from most human martial artists. Unfortunately, it seemed somewhat less effective on singular opponents of much greater skill.

The asphalt cracked as a jumping attack missed its target by a wide margin, and Shampoo dropped into a stance that suggested boredom. "Violent-Girl no have other attack? Shampoo seen that one already."

As the girl charged forward with a battle cry that sounded more like a scream of rage, Koyuki glanced over at Ranma. He stood apart from her, frowning as he watched his fiancée being toyed with. He had his arms crossed over his chest, but his fingers were gripping his biceps hard enough to leave impressions in the skin. His entire demeanor suggested he wanted to dive in and break up the fight, but his own martial arts code of honor had been triggered to prevent him from doing so.

She looked back just as Shampoo jumped to the side to avoid another combo series from Akane, but this time she fluidly turned her retreat into a spinning kick which swept the Tendou off her feet. Akane hit the ground hard, but managed to roll away to avoid the axe-kick Shampoo used to crater the ground beneath her. She spun back to her feet, then had to drop again as the amazon blurred over her head with a flying kick. As Shampoo recovered, Akane rose back to her feet and deliberately set her stance; left side leading, weight distributed evenly between her legs. Her face was no longer locked in a berserker's fury, but Koyuki could see it in her eyes that she knew she was outmatched. Even so, her pride demanded she see this to the end.

Shampoo caught the change in Akane's face as well and inclined her head in a short salute. She set her own stance, facing Akane directly with one leg slightly lifted in front of the other, her weight balanced on the back foot. She raised an arm and waved the other girl forward.

Akane's mouth contorted into a snarl, but she took the opening, charging in low to avoid the snap kick Shampoo set her way, she planted her left leg and thrust forward into a straight punch towards the amazon's standing leg.

Shampoo recovered from her snap kick and dropped that leg, lightly stepping onto Akane's outstretched arm. Using Akane's own momentum, she lifted her back leg and arched her body forward, spinning into a cartwheel that carried her over the Tendou in a remarkable display of agility. Halfway through, as her arms came down, she grabbed onto Akane's shoulders and twisted, pulling her off her feet again and sending her spinning to the ground in a tumble. Shampoo landed lightly on her feet facing her opponent and immediately charged forward, her hand pulled back for another knife-handed strike.

Disoriented, Akane blinked her eyes open just in time to see the attack coming her way. Resigned, she closed her eyes in defeat and waited for the pain to register...

...and blinked them open as she felt a puff of cold air hit her face. She watched as Shampoo's hand speared through and demolished a snow clone set up in front of her with a confused look on her face. As they both froze in shock, the remaining snow stretched out to ensnare the amazon's arm, pinning her in place.

"The victor has already been decided," Koyuki said from the sidelines. "Further combat is unnecessary at this point."

Shampoo glared openly at her. "Challenge is decided by knockout, as New-Girl should remember."

Koyuki's arm throbbed with the memory of that pain, though she didn't let it show on her face. Before she could formulate a reply, Ranma had interposed himself between them.

"You've made your point, you've won your duel this time."

Shampoo glared at him briefly, then her face softened into a smile. "Shampoo go for now. But next time _airen_ take on date, yes?"

"We'll see," Ranma said in exasperation. He reached down to give Akane a hand up, then gave a pointed look at Koyuki.

The snow girl released the barrier holding Shampoo in place and the amazon absently rubbed her wrist as she favored Ranma with an enigmatic smile. Without another word she flickered over to her forgotten bicycle and kicked it into motion.

Ranma waited until she was down the street and out of sight, his hand wrapped around Akane's shoulders protectively. After she was gone, he turned the two of them and walked back over to where Koyuki was standing, a concerned expression on his face. "So, you fought Shampoo too?"

"I did," she confirmed. "It did not conclude in my favor."

"So I see," he said with a glance at her arm. "And you still want to fight her again."

"Yes, Ranma-sama."

Ranma looked down at Akane, then back at Koyuki. "Can you win?"

Koyuki shook her head. "As I am right now, I would not last even as long as Akane-san. The majority of my family is similarly mismatched against close-ranged fighters of your caliber, so we are attempting to bring our skillsets back into parity."

"Oh? Who's teaching them?"

"Ryouga-san wandered onto our property a few days ago." Ranma arched an eyebrow at that. "Assuming he has not yet wandered away, he should be monitoring my siblings' progress."

"That's the training you were talking about?" Akane asked, still simmering slightly from her loss.

"A few of us are attempting to train to a level where we can actually fight with opponents of your level on equal footing," Koyuki clarified. "A few, like myself, have alternate skillsets that we depend on. Our training would focus on bringing up our speed to the point where we can safely use those skills in a fast-moving combat situation."

"I want in," the Tendou said.

"Akane..." Ranma began.

"No," she glared at him. "I used to think I was the best! I could beat Kuno, I could beat anybody! Then you, your father, and everybody else came! Now I'm just second string and I've never gotten any better!" She looked down and sniffed. "You wouldn't help me get any better..."

Ranma stared in silence for a few moments. "I told you, I didn't want to hurt you..."

"That doesn't mean you don't even let me try!" she growled. "You don't spar with me, you just _play tag._"

"If I may, Ranma-sama," Koyuki began. "I, too, wish for you to be an active participant in our training. Ryouga-san tries, but he has admitted to being currently overwhelmed. Your assistance would go a long way for us."

Akane looked shocked. "Ryouga-kun said that?"

"Yes; we did ask if Ranma-sama would be of help, but he said he did not think Ranma-sama would be of use. I am here asking on my own."

Ranma sputtered. "What? I can teach anyone better than that stupid pig-boy! Tomorrow, lead me to your place! I'll show him..."

Koyuki bowed to hide her grin. "Yes, Ranma-sama."

"...And stop calling me that. It's weird."

"If you wish, Ashikabi-sama."

"...Not that either."

* * *

><p><em>Later that night...<em>

"Make a fist."

Koyuki clenched her hand as tightly as it would go, trying to work through the stiffness left by weeks of inactivity. Chiho watched her with a critical eye.

"No pain? Not even any twinges?"

"None, Chiho-kaasan. It is still a bit sore, but I should be able to work through that fairly quickly."

Chiho hummed and tapped a light-pen against her chin thoughtfully. "You Sekirei always seem to heal more quickly than the rest of us. I admit I'm slightly jealous."

"My apologies."

"Don't be," Chiho made a brief scribble on her PDA, then thumbed the device off. "You should be fine now, but I still want you to take it easy. I'll be making sure Chiyo keeps an eye on you, so try not to do anything foolish, okay?"

Koyuki nodded and smiled, "Thank you, Chiho-kaasan."


	39. EC: Nerima 14

_(a/n) – asdhajfrergdf. writing a training montage was ridiculously hard for some reason. you see alot of them in battle mangas but usually the characters already know how to fight and are just learning a new and cool technique. i haven't seen very many examples where they first learn to fight... period._

_so i basically just wrote down everything i could think of and split it up. i don't know how obvious it is, but this _is_ supposed to take place over a period of time... anyhow._**  
><strong>

**Emiya Clan – Nerima 14**

* * *

><p>"Koyuki," Fuuko panted, "your boyfriend sucks."<p>

The majority of the children had been tasked with running laps around the field in order to build up their endurance. Normally this was not a bad thing, they all had very active childhoods and many of them would have been considered quite fit for their ages. Even Koyuki, recovering as she was, had been able to maintain a steady pace for a good half-hour. It was during one of these runs that Musubi had learned of their new guest. At some point during the period where she and Ranma were busy demolishing the field, he'd made the observation that her gloves and boots had been weighing her down the entire time.

Apparently this had been news to her.

Once she had been convinced to take them off, the resulting fight had quickly turned the worst for Koyuki's Ashikabi. Eventually, aided by Musubi's single-minded determination, he had been saved by a well-timed _Hiryuu Shoten Ha_ which signaled the end of the fight. While Musubi didn't appear to be damaged in any way – though the same could not be said for her clothes – she had stopped fighting in exchange for begging Ranma to teach her the technique. Since she apparently had no idea how to turn down her battle aura, he had refused.

It was during the chaos that followed that pronouncement that Keiko took the time to check over the discarded equipment and noticed the runes inscribed into the padding. Far from being physical or magical enhancements, they had been designed to suppress the user from using their magic and physically weigh them down. Musubi had mentioned that they had been a gift from Shirou for one of her birthdays and she'd been wearing them ever since. For the last decade or so. And she had never noticed their effects.

The children collectively decided to tread a bit more carefully around their battle-hungry mother for the foreseeable future.

The end result from that encounter was Ranma asking Rin and Uzume to put together wrist and ankle-bands duplicating the effects, then passing them out to everybody, himself included. Though many of the children had trained with ankle-weights before, the magical suppression was a new thing for those who relied on using magical means to reinforce themselves. Another day was spent acclimating themselves to debilitating effects, but by the end of it only Ranma, Ryouga, and – oddly enough – Kumako felt like they were back at one-hundred percent.

The rest were all sent to do laps once again for several consecutive days – with the weights on – leading to the above comment.

"Keiko," Fuuko continued, "your mom sucks too."

"I would argue with you, except I agree with you," gasped the gunslinger.

Back in the middle of the field, the two martial artists were going over forms with Kumako, now joined by Takeshi, Arika, Haru, and Chiyo.

"You want to keep your stance loose," Ranma was saying to Haru and Takeshi. "You need to be able to react in any direction at a moment's notice."

"Firm, solid," Ryouga was saying to Arika, Chiyo, and Kumako. "You need a stable platform so you don't get knocked over by attacks."

"Flexible," Ranma said with a glare at the pig-boy.

"Firm," Ryouga retorted.

"We're teaching them Anything-Goes! They have to be adaptable."

"I don't even know that school! Go ahead and teach them that if you want, especially the Saotome Ultimate Technique. I'll be over here teaching _useful_ forms."

"I'll show you useful, P-chan!"

_"What did you call me?"_

As the pair degenerated into another one of their daily brawls, the five children traded glances at each other, shrugged, then set themselves for sparring.

**ooo**

It took a few days, but once Ranma was satisfied with their endurance levels, he had them all take off their weighted bands before he ran them through a few basic katas.

"Unless you want to really want to keep them on," he amended. "But having weights on your arms and legs will kill your timing and positioning when trying to do forms."

"Yes!" Karin all but ripped hers from her arms and threw the offending accessories to the ground.

"Keep them handy, though, 'cuz when you're not doing katas, you're putting them back on."

The hacker swore.

**ooo**

Akane and Chiyo squared off with each other while Ranma moderated.

"Remember, redirecting an opponent's attacks is the first step to being able to counter it," he said, more for Akane's benefit than the Emiya's. "You can either counter with an attack of your own, or use the opening for maneuvers."

Both girls nodded, then Chiyo threw a straight punch at Akane's mid section. The other girl knocked it upwards with her left arm then countered with her own right hook. Chiyo sidestepped to her left, slapping the attack across her body and using the momentum from her blocked punch to spin around and backhand the Tendou across the back of her neck.

Tap.

"That'd be a disabling hit," Ranma pointed out. "Until you get out of her range, you gotta be ready for anything. Do it again, Akane starts this time."

**ooo**

Ryouga was throwing rocks at Kumako. The idea was for her to dodge using the minimum movement required, or to deflect or outright block the attacks.

Kumako had apparently taken it as a game where she punched them out of the sky.

"Dodge!" he shouted. "You're supposed to _dodge!_"

"More rocks!"

**ooo**

"First sequence," Ranma ordered.

He watched as his students moved through a kata designed as a balancing exercise. They started slow, going from step to step as he counted out a beat. Once they were done, he had them repeat it, this time faster. A third time, a fourth, gradually increasing the tempo as he went. He was pleased to note the majority moved fluidly through the motions, with a few notable exceptions.

"Koyuki..."

"Yes, Ranma-sama?"

"Do the sequence again, as fast as you can while keeping the correct form."

She did so, but it was not a smooth progression. She would move into one stance, pause, then move into the next. Her transitions were quick and precise, but that pause was unnecessary. He told her as much and had her try again – with similar results.

Ranma frowned, then had an idea. "Everybody, do the sequence backwards."

He watched as most of the group struggled with that request. As they would go from stance to stance, most of them would automatically try to slide back into the previous section, what normally would have been the 'next' section had they been moving through it normally. Koyuki, on the other hand, moved just as quickly as she did before. Her transitions were perfect, but she would still pause after each stance was set.

"Koyuki, are you taking the time to think through each step in the sequence before you move into it?"

"Ah," the snow girl blinked. "I suppose I am."

Ranma sighed. "Show me the fourth sequence." The fourth was designed for close ranged blocking. Again, she moved through it perfectly, but still paused after each step. He stepped in closer and took a ready stance. "Do it again, match the timing to my movements."

The sequence was designed to block punching combinations, leaving openings for the attacker to subconsciously try to exploit. It was a kata Ranma had developed when faced with opponents who could attack with the speed given to them by _Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken_, or something similar. He went through the sequence with Koyuki, launching quarter-speed punches at her, which were blocked successfully in turn. He did it again at half-speed, but after his first two punches she was a full second behind him.

He turned towards Akane. "Let's see you do it."

He ran through a series of punches, again at quarter-speed, which she blocked successfully. At half-speed she was still fine, same with full speed. He raised his eyebrows and ran through the sequence one more time, this one a blurring combo at roughly half again faster than normal speed. She kept up for the most of the sequence, but missed the last punch, which he stopped just before reaching her.

"Not bad," he complimented his fiancée. "Try to get a little faster than that, though. Koyuki, try to do it without pausing." He stepped back and turned to face the group as a whole. "Everybody, fourth sequence. Ready, go."

**ooo**

"Ryouga-san, what are you doing?"

The Lost Boy looked up as Riko wandered over to him. She stared at the small pile of stones he'd been building, then at the hyperactive school girl a distance away.

"More rocks!" Kumako demanded.

Ryouga sighed. "I'm _trying_ to get her to dodge, but she insists on trying to attack them instead."

Riko grinned. "Can I help?"

Kumako cheered.

**ooo**

"Are you sure this is such a good idea?" Homura turned away from the window to look face the room. "I'm sure they're skilled, but I don't see the point in learning martial arts when they'll grow into their powers in a few years."

"It's giving them something to do during the summer break," Uzume pointed out. "I think this summer has been the quietest I've seen the house in.. in years."

Homura looked back out the window just in time to catch a magnificent explosion as their children's 'teachers' went for each others' throats yet again. The two Nerima martial artists traded blows and _ki_-blasts as the Emiya Clan's children sat on the sidelines and cheered. "Unfortunately, I have to agree. But this is a novelty, those two can't possibly take on people like us when we're serious."

"Shirou can."

"Shirou's an exception to rule, I'm certain." Homura narrowed her eyes at the growing melee. "The children are one thing, but I doubt they could handle _us._"

"Musubi thinks highly of them," Uzume reminded her. As if that had been a trigger, there was a newer, louder explosion as the battle maniac joined the fray, unable to contain herself. Uzume flinched as she wondered who would pull the duty of letting Kusano know she had to regrow the lawn... again.

"Musubi fights on their terms," the Sekirei of Fire said. "I'm surprised they can use energy attacks, but it's nothing like facing an elemental user. I'm sure they've never faced someone like me before."

There was a choking noise from behind them, Matsu probably. Homura decided to ignore her and continued watching from the window.

**ooo**

"Ow!" Keiko pulled her arm back and batted at the stinging flesh.

Chiyo had an amused look on her face. "You're not supposed to hurt yourself when you're the one attacking."

"You _hit _me," the gunslinger complained.

"It's called a parry. I move your arm away with my own."

"That's cheating!"

**ooo**

Ranma led the group to a section of the field. A framework of pipes ran for a length of roughly fifty meters, suspended from the pipes were a a series of wooden planks hanging from the top and side sections. "I'm taking a page from Ryouga's training methods and adding my own twist to it," he said. He turned and flicked a button inset into a panel at one end of the structure, there was the sound of an electric motor and suddenly the blocks were in motion, swinging back and forth at random intervals and arcs. "Instead of hurling you at boulders, I'll just be throwing wood at you." He turned back to the group, "You need to go from one end to the other, as fast as you can, without getting hit by any of these."

"When did you find time to make this?" Aya asked curiously.

"Your dad built it for me once I explained what I needed," Ranma said. "I never would have guessed he was such a handy-man."

He demonstrated for them, passing through the obstacle course one step at a time, bobbing and weaving his body through impossible looking contortions as he narrowly avoided the swinging blocks. Occasionally he'd throw out an arm or knee to deflect one of the blocks, but not once did he allow anything to his his head or the core of his body. Once he was through, he jogged back to the group with a grin. "So, who wants to try first?"

Nobody could make it through on their first try without taking a few hits. Takeshi was too tall, there were many times he'd try to duck or slide beneath a formation and get clipped across his back, but he made it through without too much difficulty. Haru tried next, he mainly relied on active blocking rather than dodging, and ended up taking a few hits from blocks on their return swings. Arika was the first failure, with her training bands keeping her from enhancing her speed with mana bursts, her reflexes were out of sync with her body and she ended up getting knocked to the ground, where she rolled to the side and to safety.

Koyuki was the next to try and she fared just about as well. She started by watching the pattern of the first block for a good thirty seconds before she took her first step. Once there she simply held out an arm to keep that block bouncing off of it repeatedly while she analyzed the second block. She continued this at the third block as well, but soon found she had run out of hands and was knocked down soon after.

Ranma shook his head as she made her way back to the group.

**ooo**

"What are you _doing?"_

Ryouga paused and turned around to find Shinta gaping at him. Beside him was a girl he'd never seen before, a redhead with two short pigtails sprouting from either side of her head. "I'm trying to teach your sister the meaning of the phrase 'dodge'. It's not quite going so well."

Behind him Fuuko and Jun had joined Riko in assaulting Kumako with small stones from all directions. The girl spun around endlessly, not even bothering to duck, simply punching and kicking at everything that came near her. There were a few times she would jump, avoiding a few low-thrown missiles. But they had learned quickly she was merely trying to strike the ones that would have missed high had she ignored them.

"More rocks!" she continued shouting.

Fuuko had noticed the new arrivals and waved to get their attention. "Hey, Shinta! Can we borrow your girlfriend? I'd like to see if she can punch out beam-spam!"

Nanoha's eyes went wide and she looked to Shinta questioningly, who quickly shook his head.

**ooo**

Kaien and Kiri hit the ground simultaneously as their sparring opponent grinned down at them.

"That is so weird," Kaien complained. "How does she do _better_ in a two-on-one rather than a one-on-one?"

Akane smiled.

**ooo**

"Ranma! _FI~IGHT!_" the loud shout echoed across the field.

Ranma instantly stopped his demonstration of a piercing-attack sequence. "Whelp, that's my cue to run." The martial artist quickly blurred into movement, just in time to avoid Musubi dropping down into a ground-shattering punch. Before the dust even began to settle, there was another whisper of movement and she flickered away after the escaping boy. "Come back!"

The children in that group shrugged and began running through their katas from memory.

**ooo**

Koyuki stood at the beginning of the obstacle course, watching the swinging blocks carefully. After a full minute of stillness, she finally slide into motion. She smoothly twisted around the first series of blocks with seemingly no effort, then stepped into the next series with a deflecting arm. Spinning around the next one in line she slid out a leg and crouched underneath a high-swinging block, sweeping her trailing leg around as she stood back up... and then she froze to consider the next sequence since she hadn't been able to distinguish it and memorize the pattern from where she'd been standing at the beginning.

THWACK.

Needless to say, she soon got knocked down and out yet again.

"Eh, I don't think you're quite getting the idea, 'Yuki," Karin commented.

**ooo**

Haru grinned as he twisted to avoid the first strike from Ranma. That earned him a nod from the cursed martial artist and a follow up strike, also avoided.

Slowly, Ranma increased the speed of his attacks, until Haru was forced to bring up his arms for deflections. A few seconds later had both boys' arms blurring in motions almost too fast for the rest of the children to see. About a minute after that, there was a sudden noise that sounded like a cross between a minigun firing and a meat tenderizer, and suddenly Haru was flying backwards with Ranma straightening up from a thrusting palm strike.

Arika looked at her stopwatch. "One minute, twenty-six seconds," she called out to the Haru. "Takeshi held out for one-minute, thirty-two."

"Dangit!"

**ooo**

Ryouga's eyes twitched and he reached out to the ground. "_Bakusai Tenketsu!_"

The earth exploded, but the force had been channeled forward, sending a hail of dirt and rocks streaking out like a Macross Missile Massacre. The attack was mostly countered, but eventually the target was overwhelmed and flew backwards to be half buried under the debris.

A shaking voice rose from the dirt pile, "_O-kay,_ that's enough rocks..."

**ooo**

"Saotome-kun."

Ranma looked up as several women walked onto the field. Leading the group was a grey-haired woman dressed in close-fitting black slacks and blouse; immediately behind her was a fairly busty blonde in a short white dress and black jacket. Several other women were arranged behind the two, but they stayed back at a distance.

He hazarded a guess, "Emiya-san?"

"Homura," their leader said. She waved to her companion, "Tsukiumi and I would like to challenge you and Hibiki-kun to a match."


	40. EC: Nerima 15

**Emiya Clan – Nerima 15**

* * *

><p>"You want to what?" Uzume scrubbed her ear with a finger to make sure she wasn't hearing things.<p>

"I want to see how good this kid really is," Homura repeated. "You've been watching him too, sparring with our kids. Sure he can beat them in a physical fight, but if they were allowed to use their powers I don't see him faring very well."

"He can shoot energy blasts," the Veiled Sekirei reminded her. "So can the Hibiki boy."

Homura frowned, "So we've got two copies of Benitsubasa, that's still manageable."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Karasuba smirked. "I would wager that those two and Crimson-chan are on two completely different levels."

"You're right," Homura stared out the window with narrowed eyes. "Shirou really is a special case, there's just no way there are more humans who can take us if we're serious."

Karasuba didn't reply, but her smile grew fractionally wider.

"Well, does anybody want to join me? We should at least keep the numbers even," said the fire user.

"Yeah, we certainly wouldn't want them to think we're looking down on them," Uzume snarked.

Homura ignored the comment and turned towards towards the far corner of the room. "Would you like to come, Akitsu?"

The ice user shook her head, "I trust my daughter's Ashikabi."

Homura _hmphed_ and looked to her other side, "What about you, Tsukiumi?"

The blonde inspected her fingernails for a few moments. "I suppose I could join you, if you really insist on it." She looked up, "I admit to being curious if these two are worthy of my children as well."

Homura threw one last glance out the window before she turned and swept out of the room. "We should go now then – before they get too far into today's session. We don't want them to complain they lost because they were worn out..."

A few moments after the two left the room, Karasuba let a low chuckle fill the silence. "So," she began. "Would anybody be interested in a little wager?"

**ooo**

"A challenge?" Ranma repeated. Behind him, Ryouga had paused in his own lessons and was making his way over.

"That's right," Homura said. "We won't deny you have skills in martial arts, but we'd also like to see how useful it is against magical opponents."

"It depends on the magic," Ranma shrugged. "Why?"

"Because if it doesn't help very much," Tsukiumi spoke up, "then it is a waste of our children's time. Time that would be better spent training in their normal specialties, rather than this barbaric method of fighting."

"I want in!" Musubi cried out excitedly.

"No!" the other four said simultaneously. The adult Sekirei said it in an off-hand, almost bored tone. Ranma and Ryouga nearly screamed out their answer. Musubi pouted and went to gather up the children.

Ryouga crossed his arms, "So that's your terms? You win we leave?"

Homura paused for a moment, then nodded. "If the children still want to train with you, they can do it on their own free time. But we wont be sponsoring you or letting you use our property for it."

"And if we win?"

Tsukiumi frowned, "You don't get kicked out. What more would you want?"

Ranma frowned and scratched his head. He looked over at Ryouga. "I dunno, what _do_ we want, P-chan?"

Ryouga grinned, "If we win, I have you hold him down while I get to pummel him senseless."

"Hey!"

Homura sighed, "We'll leave it open for now. Let's just say you get one request from us. Nothing fancy or extreme, but if you want to burn your request on something like that, we'll gladly do it."

Ranma glared at Ryouga but gave the flame Sekirei a stiff nod.

"One last thing," Homura said. "We've seen you working with our children so we know what you can do. It's only fair we even it up slightly." She held up a hand and summoned a small fireball, "I am the Sekirei of Fire. Please take care not to get too badly injured."

_Fire,_ Ranma thought. _I hope she's not as bad as Saffron or this could get somewhat nasty._ "Thanks," he said. He turned expectantly towards the blonde.

Tsukiumi frowned and placed a hand on her hip. "I don't need to show off to you, but I am the Sekirei of Water."

Ranma and Ryouga both paled. Desperate to distract himself, he latched on to the new word. "Um, uh, 'Sekirei'... that's the name of the Clan Koyuki's from?"

The two elementalists traded glances. "Er, yes... that's right." Homura said. She reached up to her jacket's collar and undid the first few buttons. She grabbed at the hem of the turtle-necked shirt she was wearing and pulled it up, stretching it until it covered her mouth and nose. "You can think of it as, um, a title of sorts."

Ryouga cracked his knuckles eagerly, taking a few steps back to give himself some maneuvering room. Ranma took a quick look around as Musubi finished herding the spectators to the side of the field, then did the same himself.

He felt the air crackle with power, and watched as small globes of water collected in the air around the blonde. "I am Sekirei Zero-Nine, Tsukiumi," she said formally.

Ranma grinned, "Ranma Saotome, Number One martial artist of the world."

Ryouga growled, "Big-headed fool." He nodded a salute to their opponents, "Ryouga Hibiki"

Homura narrowed her eyes. "Number Zero-Six, Homura."

Both martial artists snapped into ready stances, preparing to spring at their opponent as the air crackled with power.

And then Homura set herself on fire.

**ooo**

_Holy crap!_ Ranma frantically aborted his charge, digging into the ground and vectoring off at a new angle. As he did, a short burst of fireballs impacted the ground under him, creating a series of explosions which had him breaking into evasive maneuvers as he tried to give himself some more room.

Ryouga did much the same, avoiding a sudden barrage of fast-moving water pellets with equal speed as he disengaged. The two met up roughly halfway across the field, catching their bearings as their opponents stared at them confidently.

"That's just like what Koyuki did," Ranma said to Ryouga. "Except a helluva lot faster and with more boom. Do you have your umbrella?"

"No, but I can get it fast," replied the Lost Boy. "You want me to take care of her?"

"Nah, try to get it if you can, but if you don't have it, one slip up will take you out completely." Ranma nodded towards the small crowd hovering on the patio. "Akane's watching too, mind you."

Ryouga's eyes widened. "This is all your fault, Ranma. I swear if we get through this, I'll kill you myself."

"That's the spirit!" Ranma grinned. "Try not to become barbecue, P-chan."

With a growl, the two boys separated once more, each heading for their respective targets.

As Ryouga closed on Homura, she transferred her aura into one arm, extending the flames into a caricature of a dragon. _"Enryuu!"_

The attack snaked through the air, a facsimile of a mouth gaping open as if to swallow the boy whole, but he dropped an arm in mid stride and stabbed at the ground. _"Bakusai Tenketsu!"_

A directed explosion of earth impacted the fire dragon and smothered it as Ryouga dodged around it. Seeing the attack fail, Homura launched another volley of fireballs before extending her arm and shooting out another wave of solid fire.

Ryouga reached up to his head and snapped out a hail of bandannas, immolating them against the ranged attack, then crossed his arms and simply barreled through the Fire Wall Homura had set up. Upon seeing him close into melee range, Homura leapt into the air, coming back down with a blade of fire covering her arm. Ryouga ducked the attack and came up with a low uppercut. The fire user bent back to avoid the attack, then jumped back into a handspring to avoid a snap kick. As she dropped back to her feet, Homura launched herself forward, _Hounou no Tsurugi_ a spearpoint for her attack as fireballs formed around her and launched themselves forward in a vanguard.

Ryouga snapped his belt off of his waist, a brief application of _ki_ reinforcing it and hardening it into something with the consistency of iron. He swatted the fireballs out of the air, then parried Homura's charge, much to the fire user's surprise. _Hm, it looks like the adults know a little about combat themselves..._

**ooo**

From the sidelines, Uzume could only stand there and gape. "How did he do that? He took his belt and turned it into a freaking _sword!"_

The other mothers that had come down to watch with her could only join her in confusion.

Rin tapped her chin thoughtfully, "How many bandannas is he wearing...?"

From the group of kids sitting on the grass, Haru chuckled.

**ooo**

_"Mizu no Ya!"_ A hail of water arrows shot from Tsukiumi's outstretched hand, forcing Ranma to check his forward momentum and concentrate on side-to-side dodging.

As he weathered the attack, he was concentrating his _ki_. Thrusting both arms forward, he launched out an energy blast empowered by his confidence, "_Mouko Takabisha!"_ Given that he was facing a user of water, that hated substance, his confidence was not quite what it could have been. It was still enough for Tsukiumi to stall her next attack and dash out of the way. Her momentary distraction allowed him to put on a burst of speed and he flickered to her side in an instant.

Using the momentum from his approach, he thrust out an arm for a lariat, but was caught off guard as she ducked under his arm and spun out of his path. He felt more than saw her arm swinging around towards his unprotected back, and he tucked into a roll just as a Water Dragon shot past overhead and splashed headfirst into the ground in front of him. Coming up on his feet once again, he took off at a right angle from his previous course, causing the water user's next attack to overshoot its mark.

Tsukiumi spun around, water spiraling around her arm in her own Water Blade and stabbed at him. He checked his momentum just in time, but stared in disbelief as the blade of water carved a deep furrow through the packed dirt. As he backpedaled from that attack, she grinned and threw her free hand towards the sky. _"Mizu Iwai!"_

It was if fireworks had just gone off nearby. One moment there was empty space, the next minute the area around him exploded with a flood of water, battering him from all sides and knocking her to the ground.

Ranma-chan shook her head to clear it, noticing Ryouga pausing his fight to stare at her in shock. _Yeah... I don't think an umbrella is gonna help against that..._

Tsukiumi had also frozen in shock, staring at the gender-swapped girl. "What in the world?"

Ranma-chan took the distraction to launch herself forward and slam a fist into Tsukiumi's unguarded abdomen. The water sekirei stumbled, but maintained her footing. As she brought a hand down in preparation to blast the redhead away, Ranma-chan's hand blurred into motion, throwing out punches at her full speed, then finishing with a palm strike from her other hand.

Tsukiumi stumbled backwards once again and dropped to her knees, but it was still far less than what Ranma-chan had been expecting. The blonde's head snapped up and glared at her with an odd light, and Ranma-chan suddenly recalled she wasn't limited to simply projecting water away from her. She quickled dove to the side just as Tsukiumi launched her next attack from behind the redhead. _"Hydra Blast!"_

An even larger version of the water dragon roared overhead, at an angle sufficient to avoid hitting Tsukiumi herself. As she got up back to her feet, the water use swept her arm around as the hydra passed, causing the attack to curl around her and move into a fast moving spiral which promised much pain if Ranma-chan tried to close in for another melee attack.

There was a brief lull while Ranma-chan considered her attack options. Tsukiumi, likewise, paused as she took stock of her injuries, pressing a hand against her bruised torso."You're actually smaller and... you're female? That's not an illusion is it," she asked.

Ranma-chan shook her head and hefted her ample bosom, "Nope, these are one-hundred percent real."

Tsukiumi's eyebrow twitched. "I would have suggested we swap so Homura could see this, but now I _really_ feel like hurting you."

"Eh, it was worth a shot."

_"Water Celebration!"_

Ranma-chan dove to the side once again, somehow managing to avoid the attack's area of effect. As she landed, she immediately bounced back towards Tsukiumi, the two opponents charging each other in another clash.

**ooo**

_"Jaen!"_ A writhing snake of fire arced through the air as Homura snapped her arm around.

Ryouga backpedalled, then hopped, then somersaulted around the attacks as Homura lashed out with her whip again and again. Dropping to the ground, he set off another _Breaking Point_ to cover his movement, throwing up huge chunks of earth as he dashed around the fire user.

"You're faster than you look," Homura grunted. She focused and sent a spread of fireballs ahead of Ryouga's path, watching as they were swallowed up by another explosion of dirt. She continued turning in a slow circle to track the Lost Boy's progress, when she suddenly caught a flicker of motion. The ground suddenly erupted into a _chain_ of _Breaking Points_, a long line of directed explosions headed right for her. She quickly dashed out of the way and was intercepted by a yellow blur using the explosions as cover to hide his movement.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Ryouga said as he threw out a haymaker into Homura's stomach. The fire user was bent over with the force of the blow and thrown back several meters. She rose shakily to her feet and Ryouga launched himself forward to keep her from regaining her momentum.

FWOOSH.

Then Homura set herself on fire again. And the ground around them.

And Ryouga too.

Ryouga screamed as the heat him him fully. He nearly dropped to roll on the ground, but he still had the presence of mind not to do so while the ground itself was burning. He managed to leap away from the inferno and hit the ground outside of the burning area, but to his dismay he found he was setting the nearby grass on fire as well. Despite the pain, he somehow heard Ranma shouting and looked up just in time to watch a stream of water arcing through the air directly at him. He did the first thing that came to his mind and stabbed at the ground.

_"Bakusai Tenketsu!"_

**ooo**

Akane gasped as the explosion of earth erupted just before the water attack from Tsukiumi struck the Lost Boy. As the dust settled, she couldn't see anything but a large crater in the ground, but from her position she wasn't able to see to the bottom of it. She slumped back in relief. "Thank goodness, Ryouga-kun was able to escape underground..."

Several of the children stared at her. Haru and Karin had been very free with their information on their teachers, so everybody had knowledge of the pair's curses. They had also known Akane wasn't quite privy to the information... but really, after he'd changed out in the open like that? That stretched their suspension of disbelief.

"So!" Keiko said very loudly. "Kaien, have I ever told you that your mom is like... the coolest person ever?"

Behind her, Aoshi frowned and punched her in the shoulder. "I thought you said _my_ mom was the coolest."

"Well, get her out here and have her blow something up. Then I'll reconsider."

**ooo**

Ranma-chan stood warily as the two Sekirei circled him with their elements spiraling through the air slowly. "I suppose I should be thanking you," he told Tsukiumi.

"It's not like we're out to kill anyone," she pointed out. "Although it certainly seems like Homura took a go at it anyhow."

The fire user grimaced, "Never mind that, why does Ranma-kun look like a girl? And why is there a pig where Ryouga-kun used to be?"

Ranma-chan made a face of her own. "I thought everybody knew by now. Ask that girl with the glasses when we're all done here." She blurred into motion and the two Sekirei snapped out their arms, sending out fireballs and water arrows to knife through the air.

The two were still separated, figuring Tsukiumi was already wise to his tricks, Ranma-chan angled for Homura instead. The fire user backed up slightly, launching fireballs at the dodging martial artist. As the redhead closed in implacably, Homura lit herself back on fire and met her charge with a fire blade in each hand. Ranma-chan ducked both attacks, springing around to the fire user's side and darted in with rapid fire fisticuffs.

She only pressed the attack for a split second before disengaging, shaking her hands to take out the sting. Homura, not expecting her to charge through her fire like that, was caught completely unprepared and suffered a few dozen hits that bruised her ribs. "What was that?" she demanded.

"Oh, was that supposed to hurt me?" Ranma-chan taunted as she leaned forward coyly, hiding her slightly burnt hands behind her back. "I thought I felt something warm, but I guess it was just you spouting a lot of hot air." Inwardly, she was hopping and screaming. Homura's fire was even hotter than Rouge's Asura form, though not quite to the level of Saffron's. Unlike the fight against the Phoenix, however, Ranma had no _Gekkaja_ to even the playing field. Even though she had the phoenix pill's fire resistance, if the fire user didn't go down fast she'd be in for a whole world of hurt.

She almost cheered when Homura grudgingly dropped her shroud of flames, but that mood quickly soured as Tsukiumi came up beside her to present a united front. In unison, the two raised their arms and water and fire filled the area in front of them, two elemental dragons leering at their target. _"Jouki Bakuryuu!"_ they chanted together. The two dragons charged forward, intertwining and combining to form a single giant, hissing dragon of scalding steam. The attack was large enough that Ranma-chan could not evade it completely, even as it clipped her in the side it exploded, tossing the martial artist to the ground with burn marks all over his body.

Male again, but in pain, Ranma looked around at the fog of steam that shrouded the area. Before he could get his bearings again, giant snake of water came out of nowhere and slammed into the ground in front of him, dousing him once again even as she dashed to the side. Angling towards where the attack had originated from, Ranma-chan saw a glow of Homura's fire and circled around to try to get behind the two, then she froze.

_You've got to be kidding me..._ Tsukiumi stood behind the fire user, shrouded by a giant water construction of seven snake heads. Even as he watched, the snake that had attacked him previously regrew itself from the writhing mass, leaving him to face the full eight heads of a _Yamata no Orochi._ Homura had surrounded them with a Flame Wall that covered every approach, leaving the _Orochi_ free to pound at him from above.

She grinned and cracked her knuckles. _Well if they want to stay in one spot... I can oblige them..._ She dropped into her mindset for the Soul of Ice, keeping her _ki_ tightly contained, and charged into the inferno at an oblique angle. Since she wasn't aimed directly at them, they had no immediate need to dodge, but they did spin to keep track of her as she stepped into the first stages for a spiral.

Homura obliged her by launching fireballs which impacted the ground just behind her, just in front of her, but never quite hitting her as she varied her speed. Even as their attacks kept her at bay, she grinned at how easy they were making it for her. After several rotations of this, she sharpened her angle, bringing herself even closer as their attacks became more frantic. Finally she made the final rotation, putting on a burst of speed and dropping herself in between the two of them. Launching herself into an uppercut with an arm shrouded with cold _ki_, she shouted triumphantly, _"Hiryuu Shoten—"_

Then Homura closed a fist, snuffing out all the fires instantly while Tsukiumi dumped all eight snake heads directly on top of her. Caught completely off guard, the redhead took the attacks head on and was flattened into the ground. With a groan she rolled onto her back and looked up at the two Sekirei leaning over her. Tsukiumi collected all the water from her clothes and pulled them into another spiraling disk around her, while steam began to rise from Homura as she dried herself off.

"Seen that," Homura explained. "You shouldn't have used that on Musubi so much."

Being reminded of Musubi taking his greatest attacks head on without a scratch caused her face into a grimace, but then a metaphorical lightbulb lit up in her head. _It's dangerous..._ she thought, _but if they can take the _Flying Dragon_... then maybe..._

Homura raised an flame-covered arm back in a strike, "Sorry about this, will you yield?"

Ranma-chan grinned, "Don'tcha know? Ranma Saotome _never_ gives up, and _never_ loses."

And then she flickered and vanished.

**ooo**

At the base of a crater not too far from the action, an tiny black piglet finally shook himself awake. Pain filled his every movement, but at least he wasn't on fire. That was always a plus. Carefully, P-chan inched his way up the crater's slope, poking his eyes out just far enough to see what was going on.

He saw the two Sekirei jumping around at random as Ranma-chan seemingly teleported around them – flickering into and out of view like she had a cloaking device on the fritz. The two were throwing attacks almost at random as they tried to track the martial artist in vain, both had their own personal defenses setup as well to try to catch her in the middle of her own attacks. She mostly kept appearing around the water user, drawing most of the attacks from her and disappearing soon after, only to reappear from another vector.

P-chan suddenly squealed as Ranma-chan blurred into position right in front of him, dropping her pose from the _Umisen-ken_ opening stance. She smiled brightly, but tiredly.

"Heya, P-chan. I found your bag, and look what else I found!" She held up a kettle already filled with water, then turned and waved to the two opponents just now noticing her across the field. "Hey! Fire-lady! I'm making some tea, want some?"

Homura threw a fireball at her in answer.

Ranma-chan quickly stepped out of the way of the attack, but swung the kettle back in line with it. The pot ticked and sputtered as the water inside instantly boiled. Before it could evaporate completely, Ranma-chan dumped the whole contents onto the piglet, prompting a pained squeal-turned-shriek. She tossed the kettle off to the side and pulled Ryouga's combat umbrella from her back. "Get dressed, it's round two now."

**ooo**

Homura looked on in surprise as the Lost Boy climbed up out of the crater, looking bruised and battered, but also very, very mad. "I'm not going to even ask. But I really want to."

Tsukiumi frowned. "What do you think of what Saotome-kun was doing earlier? His speed didn't seem much different, but for some reason I couldn't keep track of him."

"I'm not sure... there must be some trick to it, though, I didn't sense anything special." Homura narrowed her eyes, "Heads up, here they come."

The two martial artists had finished whatever planning they had, and suddenly the ground erupted into a cover of dirt again. Ryouga charged through, flinging out bandannas by the dozens to help cover his own approach while Ranma...

Ranma had disappeared again.

Tsukiumi retaliated with a storm of Water Arrows to knock the bandannas from the sky as Homura set up a wall behind the two to keep the martial artists focused on penetrating from the front. As the Lost Boy dashed to the side to avoid the remainder of her initial attack, Tsukiumi set up her Eight-headed Serpents while launching another barrage of Water Arrows in the opposite direction, anticipating that wherever Ranma was, he.. or she would be using Ryouga to draw their attention.

Homura sent her own fireballs towards Ryouga, then launched a twisting Fire Dragon as a followup, controlling the flames to track the boy as he avoided the first attack. She was unprepared to see the boy suddenly whip out a bamboo umbrella from behind his back and snap it open, allowing the dragon to immolate itself harmlessly against it. As she hesitated in shock, the umbrella dropped to the ground, revealing Ryouga holding out his hands with a glowing ball of energy held between them.

_"Shishi Houkoudan!"_

Homura's first instinct was to simply get out of the way, but with her back to back against Tsukiumi there was no way she could do so without her getting blindsided. The water user was busy peppering the field with Water Arrows and random strikes with her _Orochi_ trying to flush out Ranma. Grimacing, she sent out a sustained barrage of fireballs, which met the attack and detonated in a bright flash. Following _that_ was another hail of bandannas which she countered with sweeps from her Fire Sword. Suddenly she noticed movement in the corner of her eyes and turned to watch the umbrella flying at them in a wide arc, the steel caps at the tips reflecting light as the umbrella spun like some strange buzz-saw. "Down!" she yelled for Tsukiumi's sake, putting words into action as she threw herself forward to avoid the odd attack.

Tsukiumi spun at the warning, only noticing the umbrella at the last second. She threw herself backwards, avoiding any damage to her body, but the front of her dress was sliced open, leaving her bare to the world. She shrieked in anger and brought an arm up to cover herself, even as Ryouga's own charging attack faltered as he suddenly tripped in place, a fountain of blood spraying from his nose.

"How dare you!" she shrieked. "Only my husband is allowed to see me like this!"

"Why aren't you wearing a bra?" shouted the martial artist.

Homura's eyes widened as a shadow shimmered into view behind the water user. "Tsukiumi!" she shouted in warning.

Ranma-chan raised her hands into dagger-like points and shot them forward in a blur of motion. _"Haku Dato Shin Shou!"_ A rain of burning strikes pierced into Tsukiumi's back, the attack traveling down from her shoulders, to her back, and to her thighs as Ranma-chan dropped to the ground. Her hands moved back into a curious, limp-looking pose and she vanished once again as Tsukiumi dropped to her knees. The back of her dress was peppered with scorch marks from the raw _ki_ attack and she stumbled slightly as she tried to rise back into a standing position.

**ooo**

Ranma-chan reappeared next to Ryouga, though she didn't offer the boy a hand up. "Geez, I thought that woulda been enough to take her out. At least you limited her to just one arm, P-chan." There was a growing buzzing sound and Ranma-chan absently caught his umbrella on its return trip, closing it and holding it out for the Lost Boy.

"Shut up," Ryouga grumbled as he rose to his feet, hand pinching his nose closed. He pulled off yet another bandanna from his forehead and shredded it, taking a wad of it and using it as tissue to plug up the leak. "All that means is she's more vulnerable close-range. She's still got all of her water attacks." He took the umbrella and strapped it to his back again.

"Let's test that theory," Ranma-chan grinned as she dropped into the _Umisen-ken's _opening stance once again and vanished from view.

**ooo**

"Tsukiumi," Homura warned her. "Douse yourself and get back."

Not needing any further explanation, the water user did as she was told, hitting herself with a loose blast of water and retreating to put Homura between herself and the two martial artists. Before she'd even gotten out of range, Homura's aura flared, creating a huge inferno nearly twenty-five meters across. Tsukiumi's clothes and skin hissed as steam began to rise, but she generated more water to keep herself unharmed as she finally escaped. Ryouga barreled out of the attack, on fire again, but managed to put himself out relatively quickly.

There was a surprised shout not five meters away from Homura, and she turned to see Ranma-chan suddenly burst into view again, evidently caught while trying to sneak up on her and repeat her previous attack. The redhead's battle aura flared, trying to give herself some modicum of protection against the flames, but she was clearly in pain from simply standing there. Her eyes were locked onto Homura's, completely unyielding as she braced herself and took a slow step forward.

With her sole focus on the impossible sight in front of her, Homura was completely taken by surprise as a _Shishi Houkoudan_ tore its way through the flames and exploded against her back. She stumbled, the strength of the flames around her weakening as she lost concentration. Ranma-chan took the opportunity to launch herself forward into a spear tackle. As they hit the ground and bounced, Ranma-chan pulled her feet up to her chest and kicked them straight down, slamming Homura back against the ground and launching herself away from the burning ground.

She landed in a heap next to Ryouga, batting at a persistent flame on her sleeve. The other boy took one look at her and chuckled. "You look like crap."

"I've seen Hell because of you," the redhead quipped. "All because you couldn't deal with her by yourself... it's all your fault."

The Lost Boy took a second, closer look over at Ranma-chan, "Are you okay?"

"Ryouga, prepare to die~" she wheezed.

"Right... you're not okay." Ryouga took a step forward and cracked his knuckles again. "Time to show you how a _real_ man handles this."

"You da man, P-chan."

"Oh shut up," he growled, charging forward.

Homura was rising to her feet when the martial artist burst through the flames to knock her back down. Before he could disengage, however, the fire user reached out with her hand and snagged his leg, ensnaring the limb with a rope of solid fire and yanking him back. Ryouga went down, wincing in pain as the flames around them slowly grew in strength once again. He threw a punch at Homura, who grabbed at it with her other hand and set that on fire as well. She smirked beneath her mask as Ryouga's face twisted into a grimace.

Then Ryouga headbutted her.

Homura gasped in surprise, her grip loosening enough for the Lost Boy to tear himself free and stab at the ground immediately below the both of them. The ground exploded with the Breaking Point, the rocks were small enough for Ryouga to shrug off, but the fire user took the hits at point blank, the rocks shredding into her exposed skin. She scrambled backwards in an attempt to gain some distance, but Ryouga stepped back in, whipping out a bandanna and ensnaring her wrist. He pulled her back to run up against his extended knee, then as she reeled from the impact, he crouched down to set off another point-blank Breaking Point.

The rocks shredded the bandanna holding the two together and Homura went flying. She hit the ground and bounced, the fires surrounding the area immediately snuffing out as the fire user slide across the ground.

Ryouga grinned, but he stumbled as the leg Homura had grabbed earlier twitched from suffering first-degree burns. The arm he'd wrapped the bandanna around was similarly useless, the fire user having transmitted her powers through the cloth and sending enough energy through it that his nerves throbbed uncontrollably. As his body went into shock, he dropped to his knees and keeled over.

**ooo**

The long distance Water Dragon Tsukiumi hit Ranma-chan with was enough to wake her up from her dazed stupor. Groaning, she rolled to her stomach and pulled her legs up underneath herself. Looking up, he saw the water user stand on the far side of Homura's mega bonfire. One arm was still held protectively across her chest, but her other arm was also gingerly holding on to her stomach. Her hair was disheveled and partially singed at the tips, dirt and other scuff marks crisscrossed across her exposed skin.

All in all, she looked about how Ranma-chan felt. The cursed martial artist tried to pull herself up, but collapsed to the side as one of her arms refused to carry her weight. She bit back a scream as her body landed on top of the wounded limb, but rolled around to pick herself up using her good arm. She stumbled on her feet, flexing her arm slightly, then compressing it into a fist. _One fist is all I need..._

As she stood, the inferno to the side suddenly exploded, ejecting Homura into a shallow arc where she landed with a painful looking bump and skid. As she did so the flames died down to reveal Ryouga standing their triumphantly, only to fall over himself seconds later. As if that had been a signal, the two remaining combatants launched their attacks. Ranma-chan sped forward with her good arm held protectively behind her body, dodging sequential strikes from Tsukiumi's _Yamato no Orochi_. As she made it past the eighth head, the water user whipped her arm to the side, shrouding it in water and swung it forward.

Even though she was still dozens of meters away from her, she caught the premonition of danger and leapt over the attack, staring in disbelief as it gouged a line across the field where she'd been standing. Swinging her arm as fast as she was, this far out her Water Blade was criss-crossing the field at impossible speeds. She was too wounded to concentrate on maintaining the _Umisen-ken_, so she had to dodge the old-fashioned way. There were a few jarring impacts as she accidentally rolled over her wounded arm, but she didn't let it slow her down.

Tsukiumi kept swinging, a lightning fast combination that checked Ranma-chan's forward progress as she diverted himself to running circles around water user, gradually getting closer one short meter at a time. Water Arrows filled the air and shot out by the hundreds. There was no way for her to avoid them all in his state, and by the time she'd closed within five meters her shirt and pants were just scraps barely hanging on to her body. At two meters Tsukiumi threw her own modesty out the window and summoned a second Water Blade, bringing both arms forward to scissor them across Ranma-chan's body.

Ranma-chan put on an extra burst of speed, leaving nothing but an afterimage to get sliced up and slammed her good arm into Tsukiumi's unprotected stomach with the full speed of her Chestnut Fist training. Over a hundred punches impacted in the space of a second, bending the water user in half over the force of the blows. Tsukiumi collapsed on to her knees, her Water Blades dispelling as her hands fell onto Ranma-chan's shoulders to keep herself upright.

"That... really hurts," she gasped.

Ranma-chan's eyes widened as she stared at the clearly conscious Sekirei. There was a whisper of movement and suddenly she felt heat as a hand enshrouded with flames appeared at her neck. "You have _got_ to be kidding me..." she complained.

"Yield," Homura's voice – at complete odds with the fire surrounding her – was chilling in tone. As if in warning, the flames around her hand grew in strength, barely brushing Ranma-chan's skin, but almost blistering it with the heat they produced.

The redheaded martial artist sighed, leaned back onto her heels, and raised her good hand. "You people are something else, you know that?"

Homura withdrew her own arm and pulled her mask down, tucking it back against her neck. "We're Emiyas."

**ooo**

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

.

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* * *

><p><em>Omake<em>

The peanut gallery went alive with exclamations and comments as the individual children and parents compared their analysis of the fight. Comparisons between Ranma's clear ability matched against the durability of Sekirei bodies, cries that Ranma had been holding back, responses that Homura and Tsukiumi had been as well. Above it all many of the family members were dreaming of having that sort of physical ability matched with their inherant powers; more than a few of them were planning to continue their training regardless of whether the martial artist was allowed to do it here or not.

As Chiho and Chiyo rushed out to the field to take care of their injuries, Karasuba grinned and held out her hand expectantly. Uzume glared at her, then reached into her pocket to pull out a wad of bills, slapping them into the Black Sekirei's hand with ill grace. Karasuba turned, soliciting more stacks of money from Rin, Musubi, and Akitsu. Tidying up the stack, she counted out the money then split into three piles, handing two of them to Matsu and Eiko.

Karin glared at her mother, "You bet _against_ them?"

Matsu looked down at her daughter unapologetically. "It had good odds. Also once Homura-tan found out about how the Flying Dragon Ascension Wave worked, Ranma-tan's chances went down the tubes."

"You told them."

"No~ope, if anybody should be blamed, that'd be Musubi."

"Forget about that!" Uzume said. She stabbed a finger out towards Eiko, who looked up from her conversation with Karasuba. "What I want to know is why _she_ was allowed in on this. She shouldn't be allowed to make bets! That's _cheating!_"

Karasuba ruffled her quasi-daughter's head. "You're just jealous," she smirked.

* * *

><p><em>(an) – geeeez that was long. i think my longest chapter to date. there was quite a bit of banter in the forums if Ranma should have been able to win or not. it boiled down to him being willing to fight to the death or if he would follow his own moral code first. there was his fight with Saffron, but ultimately it was decided that was an exception to his rule._

_on the other hand, we have Shirou having knocked his sekirei over the head about that very same issue, and if we assume they were of any help to him at all against the Mage's Association, they've clearly worked through that. it boiled down to:_

_sparring match – ranma wins or draws_  
><em><span>actual fight<span> – up in the air, but either way he gets hurt bad._

_let's say Ranma had the mindset of kill or not-kill, that unlocks not only the _Umisen-ken_ a lot sooner than he would have otherwise, but he'd also make use of the _Yamasen-ken_, which adds a lot of destructive power to his skill set IMO. if he'd gotten into this mindset during or immediately after the Phoenix Tribe arc, he might have taken the _Kinjakan_ and _Gekkaja_ back with him, which also gives him some high-powered trinkets to fight with._

_**edit:** i was browsing through the manga/anime while writing this out. aside from finding examples of how their attacks worked, the most useful clip i found was Tsukiumi vs Benitsubasa in the MBI Escape arc. we see Tsukiumi going against a melee fighter with some ranged capabilities, and we also see she is pretty damn fast herself._

_keep in mind The Clan has children in their high teens, by Nerima some of the older ones would be 20+. this means at least 20 years minimum improvement; of being around Shirou and the rest of his harem, which also includes some powerhouses themselves. i can't imagine the flock not getting any better._

_also keep in mind ranma's most destructive attacks are all variants of the _H.S.H._, which take an opponent's strength and amplify them as a _counter-attack_. deny him that, and you also deny him all the variants which he used to kill gods, take out perverts, blow up mountains, and... launch his fiancée at an enemy (if you go by oav!canon)  
><em>

**ooo**_  
><em>

_tl;dr – Ranma's not a killer yet, he can't quite defeat monsters. which the mature Sekirei are, more or less...  
><em>


	41. EC: Nerima 16

It was a cold, overcast day. Despite this, birds were chirping merrily and rainbows filled the air. People all around huddled morosely in their winter clothing, bundled up in warm but drab-looking coats and snow pants. They stared in disbelief as a figure strode confidently down the street.

As if completely oblivious to the cold, a young, eternally youthful young girl, dressed in a tight miniskirt and shoulder-baring haltertop, showing off her beautifully toned arms and legs that went for forever. The clothing was all brand-name, of course, showing her awesome sense of fashion. Chains, bracelets, and necklaces all shimmered through the air, showing off her tasteful accessories and drawing attention to her delicate-looking fingers; fingers deceptively dainty, even though they could stab a hole into anything using pure strength.

But she wouldn't do that, she was too nice.

Her long flowing hair, shining brightly in the sun, draped delicately over her shoulders and sailed through the air. The blue highlights reflected like diamonds, and though she wore no makeup everybody who saw her was instantly humbled by her beauty. Her eyes shined with gleaming silver, a piercing stare that left no doubts in anyone's mind about her absolutely pure thoughts.

A ragged boy in rags stumbled across her path petulantly, falling to his knees before her radiant beauty. Kissing at the girl's sensible, yet stiletto-pointed footwear, he prostrated himself before her. "My mistress," he cried. "My life was so horrible before I met you. I managed to escape, and I swear I will be yours forever!"

Koyuki Snowy White Pure Diamond Snow Emiya stared down benevolently. Demonstrating unrivaled compassion, she leaned down to lift the boy's chin. "Ranma, my husband, you need not worry about any of that. I am yours and I will always protect you."

The boy smiled gratefully and rose to his feet, throwing off his rags to display his manly, chiseled chest. "Oh, Koyuki! You are all I need, I wonder how I ever managed to live before you came into my life!"

"Ranma!" shouted a trio of angry, demonic looking girls. You could tell they were bad because they all were dressed like crap, and had icky shadows rising from them. They also had narrow, pointed eyes and hissed with forked tongues.

"How dare you leave us!" yelled the short-haired one.

"Come back, slave!" yelled the purple-haired one.

"Eat my awful cooking!" yelled the brunette.

Koyuki pointed a finger, and a wave of powerful, pure snow launched them into the sky where they sailed off like the villains they were, twinkling to a distant point with a _ping!_

"Oh, Koyuki!" Ranma cried out gratefully. "You have truly saved me, now let me reward you!" The boy wrapped an arm around her, bending her backwards over his arm as he leaned down.

"Ranma!" Koyuki protested. "I am just a simple maiden, I do not deserve you!"

"You are the most worthy woman for me," he assured her, leaning down further as their faces drew closer together...

**ooo**

"What _are_ you doing?" Keiko demanded.

"Nothing!" Karin replied quickly. "Koyuki hadn't been sleeping very well lately so I gave her a little _something_ to help her with that."

Keiko nodded, unconvinced. "Uh-huh... and what is _that?_" she asked, pointing at the wires sprouting from Koyuki's head, running to a small humming box at Karin's feet.

"A video player."

"..." _*stare*_

"...that... plays what the dreamer is... dreaming." Karin shuffled around the bag she had on the floor and pulled out a second set of viewing goggles and headphones to match the ones she was currently wearing. "Want to try?"

"I really shouldn't... Dad sent me down to wake her up, he wants to see—"

The sleeping figure on the bed shifted around slightly. _"Munya~"_ she sighed.

"...Did she just–?" Keiko asked in disbelief.

"I think she did," Karin was just as shocked.

Koyuki hugged the pillow against her more tightly and made contented, happy sounds.

"Oh my," Karin said, suddenly glassy-eyed as she focused her attention back on her goggles.

Keiko was over in two quick strides. "Give me that..." she said as she snatched the spare equipment from Karin's suddenly limp hands. Plugging in the cord to the machine on the floor, she pulled the goggles over her head.

...

...

"Tell me you're recording this," she said.

Karin nodded mutely.

**ooo**

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Nerima 16<strong>

* * *

><p>Ranma felt a sense of unease as he followed his guide through the Emiya's household. When he and Akane had arrived at the property this morning, they'd found Ryouga standing there with the family's groundskeeper. Gilgamesh had led Akane back to the yard, informing the two they were expected to meet with 'the Faker', which Ranma had long since interpreted as his word for the family patriarch. A few of the wives, led by Musubi would be taking charge of the children for the day, mostly organizing spars between them.<p>

Ranma couldn't help but feel this was related to their duel the previous day. Homura had not spoken to him since the duel's end, nor did he hear anybody mentioning the terms of their wager. The only notification he had about their standing was Chiyo letting them know she expected her sensei back the next day as they left her mother's office. Though their injuries were not minor, both Ryouga and Ranma himself had suffered far worse and bounced back relatively quickly in the past. Under the care of the family's nurse, they were healthy enough to be discharged the same evening.

Now, being led into a meeting with the man who laid down the rules for the house, Ranma felt a small shred of regret at letting his pride take the better of him. This had been one of the best chances he had to prove himself as an instructor worthy enough to take over the Tendou Dojo and he'd let it fall to pieces after getting so far. He knew much of the results came from the fact that for most of his students, he wasn't really training them so much as _re_training them, but there was such a wide range of personality types and ability levels that he felt it had been a good learning experience for himself as well. It was a step up, even Akane was showing some improvement, which he felt supreme satisfaction with. Buoyed by the new direction his thoughts were taking him, he followed his guide through the doorway at the end of the hall, ready for anything.

_Anything _did not include seeing the dreaded leader of the family in a brightly colored apron, placing a variety of dishes on a large table. He stopped dead in the archway, drawing a muffled curse from Ryouga as the other boy bumped into him from behind.

Shirou smiled brightly and waved the two through the door as he disappeared behind a free-swinging door. "Morning! I thought we'd sit down to an early lunch today while we discussed a few things. Koyuki should be down soon, but I heard she had a bit of a lie-in, so we'll start without her." He returned from the kitchen bearing a pot of rice to complete the ensemble, then pulled off his apron to hang it on a hook next to the door. "Well? Have a seat."

Ranma lurched into motion, mechanically walking over to the nearest chair and sitting down heavily in it. Ryouga followed suit, making sure to sit himself several chairs away down the table. Shirou walked over to the head of the table, then glanced back at the door. "Want to join us, Eiko?"

Their guide smiled as she strode over to the table. "Thank you, Daddy, but maybe later," she said as she reached out with her hands to pluck out a sushi roll. "I want to see what Miya-kaasan has in mind for her group today." She waved absently as she spun on her heel and walked back out the door. "See you later, Ranma-kun, Ryouga-kun."

**ooo**

"You impressed Homura yesterday," Shirou said as he ate. "She wont say so herself, but you two ended up pushing her a lot farther than she expected to be."

"We still lost," Ranma said between mouthfuls. Once the shock had worn through, he'd carefully sampled the closest plate to him... and then started tossing a little bit of everything his way. He couldn't help it, this stuff was _good._

"You didn't lose by as much as you probably think you did," the Emiya patriarch pointed out. "I want you to understand, the both of you are very capable individuals. If we didn't research you as thoroughly as is our custom, there is a very good chance you could have taken those two out. Your _Flying Dragon Ascension Wave_ is a good example. It's an ability that grows in strength the stronger, or more numerous your opponents are." He turned his attention to Ryouga, "Your _Roaring Lion's Bullet_ is another example that could have taken us by surprise. I don't believe we gave you the opportunity to use it at full strength, but I am curious to know how we'd fare against it."

Ranma's chopsticks froze halfway to his mouth as he stared at the man. "Who _are_ you?"

Shirou poked at his plate for a few moments. "I won't give you the whole story, but I'll explain a few things because – inevitably – you will be drawn into them." He chewed on a piece of fish thoughtfully, then set his utensils down. "Let's just say there are many organizations and factions running around the world. Some of these factions can be quite destructive. Some of them do it because they truly think they are in the right, while others do it just because they can. We – this family – try to keep out of such power struggles, but often times we intercede to curb their excess. Sometimes we are retaliated in turn."

"Why us?" Ryouga growled. He furrowed his brows and fought to keep from crushing his chopsticks as he controlled his temper. "What have we gotten ourselves – gotten Akane – into?"

Ranma blinked as Ryouga made the connection he himself had missed. "And the Tendous? My Mom and Pop? Will your enemies be 'drawn to them'?"

"It's possible," Shirou admitted. "If my enemies cannot succeed against us directly, they may engage in subterfuge and other underhanded tactics to gain an advantage. If they can't go for me, they'll go for my loved ones. If they can't go for my loved ones, they'll go after my children. If they cannot go for my children, they'll go for _their_ loved ones. And so forth, and so forth."

Ranma glared. "They'll come for me because of Koyuki and her link to you."

"Correct."

"Why can't you control your children then? Why do you let them form attachments?" Ranma shook his head, his food forgotten. "One of your sons had two girls hanging off his arms during training, and the one with the glasses said he had five more at his school!" He turned to Ryouga, "...and you called me a womanizer."

"Why didn't you leave the Tendou Dojo the minute Akane-san got kidnapped for the first time? Or when you first found out you had enemies of your own that could potentially ruin your whole life?" Shirou turned the question back at him.

Ranma fell silent at that, his mouth working wordlessly as hundreds of conflicting answers ran through his mind.

"That was a rhetorical question," Shirou stated. "My main point, my request if you will, is to ask you to stay and continue training my children, but also to train yourselves." He smiled again. "As I said, Homura was quite impressed with your skill level, and I know several family members have expressed interest in learning your abilities. You might also find yourself picking up a thing or two from some of my family as well."

The Emiya patriarch frowned once again. "Although you two are very skilled, you lack true combat experience. You're very determined, but sometimes you need to fight not just for honor, but your very existence. There comes a time if you don't give your best from the start, you will lose all hope for victory." He stared at Ranma as he said this, and somehow the martial artist knew he was speaking of his sealed techniques.

"There are some things that are just too dangerous to be used on people," Ranma said slowly.

"Well then, it's a good thing some of my enemies aren't human beings," Shirou said easily. "It is those that you need to be able to fight seriously."

**ooo**

"Your battles against the Musk Dynasty and Phoenix Tribe were very impressive, but they are somewhat middle ground for what we sometimes face." Shirou looked up as the two martial artists resumed eating, albeit at a much slower pace. "Fortunately, a great deal of the troublemakers are below them in power and skill, but there are a few who are much, _much_ stronger. It's opponents like them that I am worried most about and I fear I'd need as many people as I can to oppose them if they ever set their eyes on us."

"And you want us to help against them," Ryouga said stiffly.

"Only if you want to," Shirou said honestly. "That said, you're quite right that I've dragged you into this. For what it's worth, you have my apologies." He shrugged, "Really, the only thing I can do to make it up to you is to make sure you're prepared to handle what might get thrown at you. To do anything else would be criminal negligence."

"Alright," Ranma said. "Since I don't have a choice, I'll help you out."

"How about you, Ryouga-kun?" Shirou asked the other guest.

Ryouga grumbled, "I'll help you out as best as I can, too. But, there is a girl I do care for... she's not a fighter. I don't want anything to happen to her. Promise me you can take care of her if something happens to me."

"I can do that," Shirou promised.

"I want your word though that you'll help _me_ out too," Ranma jumped in. "If anything from your side even touches my family, you'll see just how serious I can be."

"Same to you," Shirou replied. "I'd like you to keep a handle on your own problems as well so they don't spill over into my family. I've already dealt with one instance of that because you didn't know any better." His voice went hard, "Now that you are properly informed, if I find my daughter has run across any trouble from your end, you will see how serious _I_ can be."

"I'll protect Koyuki," Ranma promised, "I swear it on my honor as a martial artist."

"Wont that affect your relationship with Akane-san?" Shirou pressed.

Ranma twitched slightly. "You should know what I feel for your daughter is not the same thing I feel for Akane. I can't give Koyuki what she wants from me."

"That's alright," Shirou took the statement much more easily than the martial artist would have expected. "Due to um, my surroundings, I guess you could say I've become a believer in 'Love Finding a Way'." He peered closely at Ranma. "You don't _dislike_ her though, do you?"

Ranma shook his head, "No, not at all! While she did freak me out at first, I guess I just got used to her. She's nice enough to be around, once she stopped jumping me."

Shirou nodded sagely, "Well, it's a start." He lifted his head up to look over the boy's shoulder, "And how long were you planning on just standing there, Koyuki? Please, join us."

Ranma's eyes widened and he spun around in his seat to find the girl shyly poking her head around the door. She stumbled slightly as another person's arm shoved her through the entryway, then Rin poked her own head around. "Hi. No food for us, Shirou. I'll just be taking these two down to the practice field." She grumbled in annoyance, "Oh, and let Matsu know she shouldn't be leaving random equipment around where these two can find it." She retreated back outside and there was a muffled commotion outside as she shoved her charges down the hall.

"You can do it, Ms. Snowy-White-Pure-Diamond-Snow!" Karin cried out.

"We believe in you!" Keiko shouted as well. The sound of their voices gradually faded as they were hauled away.

Ranma stared at Koyuki questioningly as the girl silently shuffled over to the table, resolutely keeping her head down. He turned back to Shirou, but the patriarch had an equally confused expression on his face.

"Is there something I should—" Shirou began.

"No," Koyuki answered quickly. She took a seat between Ranma and Shirou, but several chairs away from her Ashikabi. She looked up briefly, only to find the martial artist still staring at her, then blushed furiously and looked away again, silently working on filling her plate.

Ryouga forced a cough and wiped his hands with his napkin. "Well, um... Emiya-san, thank you for the meal. I'll uh.. I'll just go check on how today's practice is going!"

Shirou pointed towards the far wall. "Use the window, I don't trust you in the halls."

"Good idea." Ryouga walked over to the window at a fast clip, threw the latch, and dove out the third-story portal without any hesitation.

**ooo**

The room was filled with an awkward silence for several long minutes, before Shirou excused himself and made himself busy taking the dirty dishes back into the kitchen. There was the sound running water as he set to loudly cleaning up the various cookware.

His own appetite mostly sated, and having nothing better to, Ranma simply watched Koyuki as she slowly, steadily consumed everything on her plate. She kept her eyes focused down, but if her blush was anything to go by, she was clearly aware of his attention.

Ranma cleared his throat nervously and glanced towards the kitchen door. The patriarch had only grabbed his and Ryouga's dishes before moving on. J_ust how long does it take to wash—oh. That bastard._

"So, uh," he began. " 'Snowy White Pure Diamond Snow'?"

There was a clatter as she dropped her chopsticks onto her plate. Mortified, her blush grew until it covered almost her entire face and her hands shook as she picked them back up, "It is, ah, a new nickname my sister decided on. Completely by random chance. It does not refer to any situation or thing. I have no idea why she ever thought of it. I would not ask them, either."

"I... see," Ranma said. He didn't, really, but it was a useful phrase suitable for filling in an empty void when a response was called for.

"In fact, it would be to both our benefits if you did not ask them about it, at all."

"Uh huh..."

"Please make no more mention of it... At all. In fact–"

"Koyuki!" Her head snapped around to look at him and he raised his hands placatingly. "I get it," he said. "I wont ask about... what were we talking about again?"

She stared at him, eyes wide, and he could almost _see_ her slowly relax from solid rigidity to her normal levels of stillness. He gave her a reassuring grin, an innocent 'what-who-me?' type of expression.

She giggled.

His eyes widened in surprise at the same time she clapped her hands over her mouth, her blush renewing itself in strength. He couldn't help it, he laughed softly at her expression and reached out a hand to pull one of hers away from her head. She stared at the sight of her hand in his own, then flicked her eyes back up to his.

"You should do that more often," he said honestly. "You looked kinda cu–" He stopped himself with a cough and suddenly pulled his hand back, embarrassed at the intimacy of the contact. He grabbed the back of his head, turning to the side and laughing nervously.

Koyuki was still staring at her hand, lifting it to her face and turning it this way and that as if seeing it for the first time. She looked at him, then back at her hand. "Ranma-sama?"

"Um, yeah?"

"So... you..." she lifted her head again to look at him briefly, then ducked it to the side again. "You... do not dislike me?"

Inwardly he winced, _Just how long had she been standing at the door for?_ "No," he confirmed. "I don't dislike you."

"Ah," her eyes shifted around as she blinked. From her Ashikabi, to the floor, to the table, back to him... "I am glad," she said simply. "I..." She mentally hit herself on the head. _It wasn't this hard to say it in front of Akane-san and her sister..._

"I... do not dislike you either." She smacked herself again mentally.

"Oh," Ranma said, his voice artificially casual. "That's good to know."

"Mm.." she agreed.

There was another moment of awkward silence.

"Ranma-sama," she asked again. He looked up to find her staring at him with an odd intensity. "Would you like... dessert?"

What.

_Uh, she doesn't mean... does she?_ "Sure," he said automatically. He suddenly grew nervous as she smiled and rose from her chair...

...and then Shirou burst out of the kitchen, bearing a platter of three metal flasks. Ranma looked on, half in relief, half in disappointment as the patriarch rounded the table and presented his daughter with the tray. Ranma leaned over to look and saw only a milky white liquid on two of the flasks, the third one more of an odd brown color.

"Um, what's this?"

Shirou pointed in turn, "These two are Vanilla – sorry, I didn't know what flavor you liked – and this one's Coffee. For me."

"Huh?"

Shirou beamed, "You'll see."

Ranma watched as Koyuki stripped off her training bands and set them on the table, flexing her fingers slightly as she readjusted to the flow of magic within her. She held out her hands over the tray, one hand simply held over the three flasks, while her other hand made complicated swirling motions. He watched the flasks frost over and the liquid inside seemed to partially crystallize, each of them mixing in time with her hand's movements, slowly expanding to fill the flasks and becoming more and more solid, more like...

_Oh_. Outwardly, Ranma kept up his half-interested expression, politely watching her movements as she put the finishing touches on the home-made treat. Inwardly, he was jumping around like an excited little boy... or a girl. _Ice cream!_

It felt like forever, but Koyuki's ice cream was done in less than a minute once the ingredients had been placed together. Shirou took his with a short salute to his daughter, collected the rest of the plates and retreated once again towards the kitchen. Ranma forced himself not to simply grab at one of the flasks and waited for Koyuki to hand one to him. He waited until they had both taken a spoonful, then took an experimental taste.

It... it was good. He expected that, but it was _really good_. It actually had a softer consistency than the ice cream he was used to, and the vanilla was much more pronounced. In fact, if he didn't know any better...

"It would be closer to Italian gelato," Koyuki said. "Father learned of the recipe while traveling abroad, and Mother helped me learn how to make it." She took another scoop and slipped the spoon slowly out of her mouth. "Interestingly enough, Mother cannot make this variety, she cannot control her powers enough to keep from over-freezing it. She does make a very good normal ice cream, if you would prefer that instead."

"No," Ranma protested quickly. "No that's fine... I think I like this better, actually."

Koyuki blushed. "I am glad."

Ranma grinned and was about to make another teasing remark when his flask was suddenly knocked out of his hands. He stared in disbelief at the wall, where it hung in place, courtesy of a kitchen knife. The container was upside down, spilling the precious treat over the tiled floor.

"Whoops!" Shirou called from the kitchen. "My hand slipped, I'm sorry about that. Koyuki, why don't you share the rest of yours with him. I'll take care of the mess later. Back to washing!"

Ranma dragged his eyes from the remains and looked at the girl. Her eyes were wide, her spoon stuck in her mouth. She stared down at her own flask, then at Ranma, then to her spoon. She blushed as she pulled out the spoon and dug out another scoop of her gelato. "Ah..."

Ranma quickly held up his own spoon. "Don't worry," he said. "I managed to hold onto this one."

There was another whisper of movement, and suddenly the spoon joined the flask against the wall, courtesy of another kitchen knife.

"Darn my slippery hands! Back to washing!"

_Why does washing involve knives?_

Koyuki steadied her hand, lifting up her spoon from her cup. "Ah, if Ranma-sama doesn't mind?"

Ranma blinked, trying to think of some way out of this. Unable to do anything but think of how it could go _wrong_. "Uh, sure, if you don't mind," he said automatically.

"Well then... '_aah_'," she said, holding out her spoon with a red face.

Ranma closed his eyes, _"Aah..."_

But, _damn _if it wasn't the best ice cream – gelato – that he'd ever had...

**ooo**


	42. Emiya Clan Misc: Melty Blood CatArc

_(a/n) – here's a crack snippet. somebody asked for melty blood a while back. i'm calling it the 'cat arc' (get it? it's like a story arc, and 'cat' in japanese is 'neko/neco' so... .ha... ehh..)_

_**ooo**_

Takeshi stared.

A purple... cat-thing stared right back at him.

"What... _are _you?" he asked.

"Ara ara, Takeshi-kun is so mean_-nya._ He doesn't even recognize his own mother-_nya~_"

His eyes twitched, he hid the motion by adjusting his glasses. "You... are a cat."

"_Nya_turally."

"There's just so many things wrong with that, I don't know where to begin."

"What an ungrateful child_-nya!_" the cat-creature shouted. Her eyes – held tightly shut until now – cracked open, light flashing through the newly opened eyelids.

Takeshi reached into his rune-pocket and pulled out his treasured blade. The great swor—

_**"HANNYA BEAM!"**_

There was a great crash, and suddenly there was a Takeshi-shaped hole in the wall, and in the wall in the room behind it. And the one behind that. And the one behind that...

Neco-Miya clapped her paws to remove any dust then continued wandering down the hall.

**ooo**

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan Misc – Melty BloodCat-Arc**

* * *

><p>Kiri and Arika stared in horrified fascination at the scene playing out in front of them. It was like watching a train wreck or a suicide jumper; it was just so traumatizing to watch, yet they could not bring themselves look away.<p>

Keiko and Karin walked up from behind them, evidently attracted by the cheerful-sounding music filling the room, and also froze in place.

"Wha... what is that?" Keiko shrieked.

Kiri and Arika were still frozen in shock and unable to answer.

Karin tilted her head this way and that as she studied the scene. "I think that's 'Sakuranbo' by Ai Otsuka," she said, "playing the chorus on continuous loop for some reason."

"Bu... but is that _Mom?_" Keiko asked in a shrill voice.

The four of them continued staring as Neco-Rin, Neco-Saber, and Neco-Sakura did some silly, simple dance in the middle of the room surrounded by pink and yellow flashing lights. Suddenly Sakuya appeared from the side and bounded across the room in front of them, _**"Mou Ikkai!"**_

**ooo**

_"Gorgon BEAM!"_

Riko blinked in confusion, "Mom? Is that you?"

"Gorgon Beam!"

"Why are you wearing your old outfit?"

"...Gorgon Beam?"

Riko sighed, "You realize you're still wearing Gorgon Breaker, right?"

Neco-Rider paused, then reached up to where the comically oversized blindfold was resting over her face. "Ah, ahah! I was just testing you-_nya!_" She grabbed at the Noble Phantasm and yanked... to no effect.

The cat-like being reached up another arm to join the first at pulling the blindfold away, but wasn't able to make it budge in the slightest. Growling, she raised an arm and shook it at Riko. "You have defeated me today, but I will be back! _Nya-hahahaha!"_

Riko simply stood there as the maniacally laughing cat... thing... bounded off down the hallway, occasionally blindly smacking itself into the walls.

**ooo**

Shirou opened up the door to his office and stepped into the room. As he looked up from the paperwork he was carrying, he suddenly froze in place, staring at the figure perched on his desk.

"Hus_byand!_ I have been waiting for you, come here and ravish me!" cried the black-haired cat as she struck what she clearly thought was a provocative pose.

Shirou, his hand still on the door, said nothing as he carefully took several steps backwards, shutting the door as he passed through it. Snapping his briefing folder closed, he went off to the laundry room to hunt up some bleach.

**ooo**

In a corner of the house, a darkened room was lit only by the glow of the television and the game system in front of it. Clothing and food wrappers were strewn all over the floor, appearing as if some horrific, destructive battle had taken place. Or that the inhabitant was a complete slob. Either example would have looked perfectly normal.

The only difference was the figure curled up beneath the futon comforter was smaller than normal. Cat ears waggled slightly as the game played out its latest cutscene, and Neco-Altrouge munched on her pocky happily as she loaded the next stage.

**ooo**

_"We're men (_MYANLY_ men!)_  
><em>We're men in tights! (yes!)"<em>

Kumako, Shinra, and Ichigo all shrieked and clapped as the line of Neco-Homuras pranced around the small stage in various shades of green tunics... and tights. Gekkou and Shinta both wore expressions of equal horror, while Reiko had her usual detached-looking expression. If one could pull their eyes away from the line-dancing cats long enough to focus on her face, however, one could catch the occasional twitch of her eyes. She turned to the side, where Kaien was holding a video camera.

He looked down at her, taking care to hold the camera steady. "What? You think I'm gonna let an opportunity like this just pass?"

They turned back to the spectacle just as the cats started a chorus line.

_"Nya~ nya nya nya nya NYA NYA~"_

**ooo**

"You're telling me you don't see _anything_ wrong with this?" Jun asked Gilgamesh in disbelief.

The young magus and the King of Nannies stared out into the backyard as the field was steadily demolished. Neco-Musubi and Neco-Tsukiumi going at each other in a quite-literal catfight, while Neco-Lorelei and Neco-Kusano danced around the fringes, lashing out with baton and vine whips trying to get the two to stop fighting. There was a brief explosion and three forms suddenly flew away as the Neco-Musubi cheered from the bottom of the giant crater she had just made.

All three Necos growled and shot eye-beams of various colors to comically roast the fourth Neco, who quickly burnt to a black crisp with wide eyes blinking in confusion.

Gilgamesh turned back to the distraught boy, "The Faker's wives going absolutely nuts? Nope, I don't see anything different."

From high above them, Neco-Karasuba looked at the melee in amusement. "Yes... fight, Neco-Musubi! Fight until you are exhausted! Then let me fight Neco-Yume! _Nya-hahaha!"_

She began to plan out her next move. Such as: how was she supposed to get down from this tree here?

**ooo**

"You know," Kyon said. "I'm beginning to think if I brought Haruhi here, nobody would be able to tell the difference."

Chisame buried her face in her hands and nodded. "I was once thinking of using a class field trip to this place as a threat... but now I'm not so sure that's a good idea either."

Neco-Uzume was throwing wraps of cloth over Neco-Akitsu in ways that would have made even Neco-Miya blush, while Neco-Matsu was holding up a video camera and humming out a certain song from Avenue-Q.

Off to the side, Koyuki was busily taking notes.

Chisame glared at the other girl, "Stop encouraging them!"

"Ah, but I—"

"Don't say it."

**ooo**

"Stop smoking_-nya!_ It's bad for you!"

Neco-Touko ignored the plaintive cries of a Neco-Chiho as she lit up and took a drag from her cigarette. "I need it," she replied. "Because if I don't, I'll lose my cool. If I lose my cool, I'm going to hunt down and _murder_ my sister first chance I get."

Neco-Chiho had pulled out a piko hammer from somewhere and was bopping it over the head of her companion. "But it's _baaaaaad-nya!"_

Neco-Touko closed her eyes and took another long pull.

Across the room, Chiyo stared at the paper she held in her hand.

_I admit nothing –Aoko_

She crumpled it up with fist and stared at her mothers. "Please listen to my Mother, Touko-kaasan. And when you do go mad and decide to hunt down Aoko-kaasan, _I will help you._"

**ooo**

". . ."

Haru stared at the multiple Takeshi-shaped holes in the walls. He spun around on his heel and walked down the hall, past his sister Riko skating after a fast moving purple and black blur. He stepped to the side as his father tore down the hallway, screaming about needing 'more bleach'. He walked past a room filled with lights and color and cheerful-sounding J-Pop. He made his way to the room he shared with his mother and noticed the ears poking out of her blanket, but ignored it as he pulled a pre-packed suitcase from under his bed.

"If anybody needs me, I'll be staying at Auntie Arcueid's place for a while," he told his... mother.

"Tell that idiot of a sister I said, 'hi'," she said absently.

"Will do, Kaa-san!"


	43. F:SD Sidestory 03 Keiko

**Fate/School Days – Sidestory 03: Keiko**

* * *

><p>I was down at the targeting range when Sakura-kaasan came to fetch me. I noticed her as soon as she had stopped just outside of the sound-shielded booth behind me, but continued with my targeting sequence. She waited patiently as I focused on the five targets down-range, each at various distances and levels of visibility, the last 2 slowly sliding around in random patterns.<p>

Ten minutes, five shots later, I frowned as I chambered out the last shell and threw the safety back into place. Five direct hits, four of them striking dead-center on the targets. The fifth missed the exact center by a few centimeters after the moving target suddenly went down a new path at random. I stared at the weapon in my hand and sighed; normally I would have taken the time to strip down the rifle and clean it off before I stored it back into its dimensional pocket, but looking back at my expectant stepmother's expression, I knew I couldn't spare the time. I settled for strapping it across my back, hoping its physical presence would remind me of the chore afterwards.

I acknowledged my visitor with a lazy wave as I opened the door, "Hey, kaa-san. What brings you down here today?"

Sakura-kaasan greeted me with a nod and a smile, "Nee-san asked me to bring you to her study."

"Oh?" My mind raced through the possibilities. It was too early for the day's lessons in the Tohsaka branch of thaumaturgy; I hadn't gotten into trouble at school recently; if anybody asked, it had been Karin that had done that thing with the things and made the things do the thingies... I looked back at Sakura-kaasan and forced an even tone into my voice, "Now?"

She smiled and waved an arm back down the hallway towards the entrance, " 'As soon as is convenient,' she said. But you shouldn't keep your Mother waiting."

**ooo**

When we arrived at my Mom's study, we found her stalking slowly around a magic circle drawn across the floor, as if double-checking the various glyphs used to empower it. To the far side of the room stood Chiho-kaasan and Daddy, who lifted his head and acknowledged my presence with a short grunt.

Mom looked up from her own inspection and smiled at me, "Keiko, I'm glad you responded so quickly." She stared at the rifle slung over my shoulder. "We didn't interrupt you, did we?"

"Hey, Mom," I returned. I glanced towards my guide, "And no, Sakura-kaasan was nice enough to wait until I was mostly finished. I just haven't had a chance to clean up yet."

Daddy perked up, "I can take care of that for you, Keiko. You might not get the chance to, afterwards."

I frowned, "What does that mean?"

Mom crossed her arms, "We're going to begin the process of transferring the Tohsaka Family's Thaumaturgical Crest to you. Normally we'd start when you were much younger, but we were hoping we'd be able to find a way to duplicate it first, similar to how the Edelfelt Family is able to."

I frowned, recognizing _that_ name from my Mom's numerous rants in our previous lessons. "Um, didn't you tell me that was because of a Sorcery Trait unique to their family?"

Mom glared at me, raising and clenching a fist until I could see the veins popping out from the skin. "Anything that _witch _can do, I should be able to do as well!" She exhaled and was suddenly back in her previous pose, appearing as collected and calm as before. "Anyhow, that's why we're starting this a bit later than usual, so you mi~ight have a slightly stronger reaction to it."

Father spoke up then, "We'll start slowly, just inscribe a new framework for the crest and one of the circuits Rin has already mastered herself. Once we see how well it takes, we'll be transferring one or two circuits at a time in the coming weeks or months; again, just the ones she's already mastered and can do without."

"But that doesn't mean you can slack off on your own training," Mom pointed out. "We're doing it this way because there's no possible way you could take on the whole thing at once, but this is a _fallback_. I'll still expect you to give your best during our lessons and to expand on what you can do from there."

I blinked. "So I'm the Tohsaka heir?"

Mom stared back at me with more than a hint of pride. "You – Keiko Emiya – are _my _daughter," she said simply. "I expected nothing less."

Something seemed to stab at my heart as I flushed with pride myself. A knot of tension I hadn't even known existed seemed to unravel itself and I choked at the feeling of relief it brought me. Throughout the years, Mom had never shown any hint of approval at the end of our Thaumaturgy lessons. She always had something to critique, whether it was my jewel-crafting, or my spellcrafting in general. If my accuracy was spot on – as it always was – she would critique my power. If my powers were sufficient, she would critique the efficiency of the spell. It was this constant negative feedback which had me shooting out _gandr_ at random objects around the house, which soon transitioned into self-training with firearms.

Intellectually I'd always known it was just a training method, a way to push me against my own limitations. After all, this was Rin Tohsaka-Emiya, a person who would never show approval or affection if she could help it. She was the reference picture for the phrase _tsundere_ – nevermind that Matsu-kaasan had been the one to write up the dictionary the family used. Until now, however, I hadn't realized just how much I yearned for her praise. Hearing her tell me outright that I had met her expectations made me a bit more emotional than I would have thought previously.

I rubbed at my suddenly wet eyes with a sleeve, but didn't let any other sign of my emotional state show on my face. Mom had resumed her study of the magic circle, giving herself an excuse not to witness my quiet breakdown, but lifted her head almost as soon as I had schooled my expression. She gave an almost imperceptible nod in my direction. "Go ahead and let Shirou take care of your weapon," she said. "And then take off your shirt and step over into the middle here."

Mom followed her own instructions, unbuttoning her vest and blouse and stripping them off to leave her shoulders and arm bare. She stepped into the open spot at the center of the magic circle, the crest on her left arm flaring into existence as she crossed the boundary. As I stepped in myself, Mom nodded towards Chiho-kaasan, who I saw was occupied in the corner with a mortar and pestle, busily grinding up herbs and small ivory-colored objects into a powder.

Mom closed her eyes, chanting a few words in German which caused the circle to thrum with power and light up beneath us. She opened her eyes, a somewhat regretful expression on her face as she reached out with her left arm towards me. "Brace yourself, this could hurt a bit..."

**ooo**

I was in no condition afterwards to head back to my own room, so Mom let me pass out in her study for the night. Chiho-kaasan gave me a drink laced with the powdered mixture, which alleviated the pain somewhat. When I woke up the next morning on her couch, I found the room empty, though Chiho had left several packets of that powder to bring with me to school.

I went to the bathroom closest to Mom's study and found somebody had brought my school uniform and supplies there, so I freshened myself up and made it to the front door just as Karin and the others made it down the stairs.

"Keiko!" Karin ran up to tackle me in a hug. "Where have you been? Sakuya just said her mom told her you'd wouldn't be back last night." She pulled back to arm's length and frowned at me. "Hm? Something's different about you... "

I waved her off, "I'm fine. I just had some training with my mom that sorta beat me up. I'll be back to normal in no time!" I wasn't sure why I felt the need to downplay my possession of a crest of my own around my sister, but something deep in my gut told me it would be a good idea to do so.

Karin gave me a look that suggested she still found something about me weird, but seemed to let it go as she stepped back and hefted her school bag. "Hm, if you say so."

I shrugged easily and nodded my head towards the door where Koyuki and Sakuya were waiting for us. "Trust me, it'll just be business as usual."


	44. F:SD Sidestory 03 Sakuya

**Fate/School Days – Sidestory 03: Sakuya**

* * *

><p>Something was wrong with Karin.<p>

Thinking back, I guess I started noticing it the first day she showed up after Rin-kaasan started the procedure to gradually transplant portions of her magic crest into my sister. Oh, Keiko didn't tell me, in fact I don't think she told anyone. I probably would have taken longer to figure it out if Mother hadn't told me herself. She couched it as an apology, as if she was sorry her own Tohsaka blood wasn't strong enough to give me any chance to be the heir to the Tohsaka branch of magecraft.

On the surface, it was completely irrational; Sakuya-kaasan had never had the chance to be formally trained before she had been given over to the Matou family, so there was no reason for me to expect such a thing. On the other hand, it _was_ very much like Mother to apologize for something completely out of her control, which let me maintain my faith in reality long enough to puzzle out what was happening in front of me.

The first clue was that she had been walking quietly to school. Normally she would be bouncing around the three of us, striking up inane conversation, the latest gossips, that sort of thing. That day, she was hanging back slightly, walking at a steady pace with the rest of us. She responded and made comments to anything we said, but didn't initiate any topics herself. _Koyuki_ was being more talkative than she was, which made me wonder if Grandpa Zel had tricked me through a portal into Bizarro World without me noticing.

Keiko noticed, of course, but she was concentrating on acting normal herself. I could see that the crest was already causing her body fits, if for no other reason than she was keeping herself completely under control, not betraying any involuntary movements. Keiko probably just assumed Karin was worried about her, like we all were.

School passed as usual. I didn't see my sisters until the lunch period, which also came and went without incident. The only point of interest was when Keiko tried to subtly open up a pack of medicine to pour into her drink without any of us noticing. We all noticed, of course, but pretended not to for her sake. Likewise, she knew that we had noticed, but acted otherwise. It sometimes made me wonder why we even bothered to put up with the pretense.

A few days passed and gradually Karin went back to normal. Back to the bubbly, hyperactive, teasing self she had always been; back to making our lives utter hell. And like always, we wouldn't have had it any other way.

**ooo**

The next week, however, Keiko stayed overnight in Rin-kaasan's study again. The following morning was a repeat of that one day, but slightly more noticeable. Keiko had one gasping the elbow of her other arm as she walked, as if bracing it. Karin was even further back behind us and quieter than usual. I saw Koyuki glance back a few times at her roommate, while Keiko continued walking at the front of our group, pretending not to notice.

Some days Fuuko-nee would walk with us. Normally this would mean a tag-team of two bubbly, hyperactive, teasing sisters prancing around us. Nowadays, Fuuko would often be walking side by side with Keiko, talking with her in low tones that I couldn't overhear. Occasionally the elder girl would look back at Karin with a rather smug smile on her face, at which Karin would scowl back at her, much to my confusion. Keiko and Koyuki would pretend to ignore the whole exchange, though I did sometimes notice Koyuki's eyes dancing between the two sisters.

I had plenty of time in class to puzzle it out, today's homeroom was self-study, which meant most of the class was engaged with conversation and other activities that had nothing to do with studying. For my part, I opened the teacher's slides for the previous day's lessons on my desk and pulled out my tablet and stylus as if I was going over notes. My stylus hovered over the tablet for a few moments, then without any prompting, my hand scribbled out a short note.

_**A fight?**_

I didn't often do this, but it was a better idea to let Yin have an outlet to express herself rather than completely keep her contained. Whenever I had tried that in the past, no matter how much self control I had, she would _always_ break out at some point. The longer I kept a lid on her, the longer and harder she would lash out. In the long run it was better to give her shorter, more numerous opportunities, though as a rule I generally confined those to when I was around family. After reading her short note, I scribbled my own answer underneath her text.

_Not on both of their parts._ I didn't bother to expand on my answer. Yin knew everything I knew, she saw everything I saw. This was just a good way to sometimes get at an answer neither of us would consciously admit.

_**Keiko's ignoring everybody, Karin's just ignoring her.**_

_Fuuko-nee?_

_**Friendly. Friendlier?**_

I had to think about that one. Fuuko had always been a flirtatious sort of girl, both towards complete strangers and to family alike. Could she be...? I mentally shook my head.

_Probably just trying to provoke a reaction from Karin._

_**She might know what's going on, though.**_

That was a good point. _Find her during the break?_

_**Yah. And also ask her about that one guy who keeps staring at your ass.**_

My what? I spun around suddenly, casting the last hints of movement as Harima-kun turned back to his circle of friends. There was a spurt of laughter from the boys as I cast a narrow-eyed glare at them, then turned back to my seat.

_How do you see these things when I don't?_ I complained.

_**I know the ways of perverts.**_

Well, I couldn't argue with that.

**ooo**

Fuuko-nee was no help.

Well, she was, but in all the wrong ways. I glared at her in impotent fury as she held conversation easily with my pirated body.

"Well," the older girl was saying, "to me it seems obvious that Karin-chan is crushing hard on our sister."

**"I still don't see why,"** my treacherous mouth was saying. **"Keiko's always been eye-candy, but why now?"**

"Sudden schoolgirl crush?" Fuuko asked rhetorically. She waved a hand flippantly, "Who knows why or when it happens. I admit that Keiko-chan does suddenly seem more... hm... _delectable_ lately..."

**"I don't see it,"** Yin said. **"The only thing I can think of is that she's been getting her thommy** – Thaumaturgical – **thanks Yang, her crest thingy from Rin-kaasan."**

Fuuko hummed thoughtfully. "You know, you might be on to something there. I'd have to see how far Daddy got in his research, because he's never seemed like my type. Yet at the same time there's just this _quality_ about him..."

_Squick. _**"Oh? What do you mean?"**

Damn that Yin...

"I'd suggest asking Matsu-kaachan," Fuuko suggested. "She'd have a copy of all his research notes. But if I'm right, it probably has something to do with... us."

I blinked. **"Koyuki isn't acting any differently,"** Yin pointed out.

Fuuko smiled, "Neither am I."

Somehow that didn't make me feel any better...

**ooo**

Asking Matsu-kaasan was actually an exercise in futility. In the first place, it was nearly impossible to find her. With the larger floor plan available to her, she had at least a half-dozen secret lairs she made available for herself. Normally the proper way to seek her out would be to go through Father – who could simply call out and she'd come running, or ask Karin – who had the uncanny ability to know where her mother was at any given time. Given the questions I wanted to ask, going through either of those avenues was not something I was quite willing to do.

I did try asking Koyuki in a rather roundabout way, but either she was too dense or I was being too broad in my questions, because I wasn't able to get anything more than generic answers to my very generic questions. The most I was able to confirm from her was that she had noticed Keiko and Karin acting differently. Unfortunately by the time I had worked up the courage to pose a more specific question to her, Karin had popped in as her usual, cheerful self and innocently asked me what we were talking about. I quickly dropped the subject.

The whole thing became moot point because like before, everything went back to normal the next day. There was still something about the whole situation that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but as the days passed without further incident it gradually slipped from my mind.


	45. F:SD Sidestory 03 Karin

_(a/n) – if anybody actually visits my links, you'll know that the whole Nerima Arc was started because of one omake post. this... would be an expansion of that post. _**("forum. fanfiction. net/ topic/ 88086/ 42932494/ 18/" ; post #868)**  
><em>again keep in mind that Nerima takes at least 3-4 years after FateSchool Days and its various omakes, hence the reference to koyuki not being winged yet._

_it's a late arriving spoiler since it _has_ been referenced in the nerima fics, but bit of a warning, if sister/sister incest squicks you slightly, don't feel bad, it squicks me too! still, it is 'canon' by the creators for the two characters and... i do use them a lot. i tried to keep it relatively tame_. we'll see._**  
><strong>_

**Fate/School Days – Sidestory 03: Karin**

* * *

><p>There is something wrong with me.<p>

I've always prided myself on being intelligent and observant. I've known exactly the impression I tend to leave on strangers, classmates, sometimes even other family members. I know many of them see me as domineering, psychotic, or outright insane... or a combination of all three. I could argue Nature – Mom's not exactly the most balanced person around either; I could argue Nurture – in a family this large, it helps to have character quirks that let you stand out from the crowd, and I think I can safely say I've managed to pull that off with a roaring success. But I'll let you in on a dark and dirty secret: I act the way I do because it's simply fun. There's no deeper motivation than that – my family simply kicks ass and even if everyday isn't quite an awe-inspiring adventure, I wouldn't trade them for all the world. They're fun to be around and I love them to death.

Now I mean 'Love' the same way most people would talk about their families, it's that filial piety/respect most kids in happy families have. The mutual respect and relationship on a platonic level that still allows for hugs and kisses and the occasional piggy-back ride. Definitely not the romantic kind. That's something straight out of a poorly written anime or manga.

Which is why there must be something wrong with me. Because I think I'm in love with my sister.

**ooo**

Out of all my siblings, I'm easily the closest with Keiko, Koyuki, and Sakuya. No real surprises there. We're all pretty much the same age; the next oldest would be Aoshi and Riko but they tend to hang out with each other more; on the younger end there's Jun but he got ignored early on for being a boy. Sorry, Jun! Besides he tends to spend his time training with Lorelei-kaachan, so I doubt he misses the company. Anyhow, between the four of us, we grew together, trained together, and overall gave headaches to Uncle Gil... just like the older children before us. Family tradition you might say.

Of my sisters, I find myself most equal with Keiko. Koyuki is certainly fun to be around, if I'm not trying to provoke a reaction from her, she's very useful as a gofer. Don't get me wrong, I'd never ask her to do something she didn't want to do, but so far she's never said no to... well, anything. Sakuya is the baby of our group, the sweetheart, if you will. Normally that would be enough to trigger a protective instinct in her elder siblings, if it weren't for the fact that it was _far_ too amusing to trick her into her Yin personality. Keiko, as the eldest, definitely possesses the take-charge type of personality I appreciate. She knows what she wants from her life, but she's not too proud to find alternatives if the situation makes her current goals unobtainable. A person like me can get behind somebody like that; be the power behind the throne sort of thing, I've never wanted to stand out in the spotlight myself.

So when she came out after the first day her Thaumaturgical Crest was implanted and I found myself suddenly short on breath and unable to concentrate on multiple thought processes, I got a bit worried. I immediately knew the reason, of course. Mom and Dad had long put together a list of factors which influenced the chances for a Sekirei's Reaction towards any individual. Unfortunately while personality was not much of a factor, magical potential was a theory which was estimated to be a large percentage, though the lack of magi involved in the Sekirei Plan meant there was very little hard data to test it with. Within our family there had been mixed results, from the couples that had involved Sekirei, the evidence supported the magical theory.

Takeshi-nii had reacted to a completely normal human girl; Kyon-nii had reacted to a purported demi-god; Chiyo-nee had triggered a reaction from another family's Half-Sekirei; Chisame-nee had reacted retroactively to a child-prodigy magus; Fuuko-nee had reacted to a normal classmate just last month... much to Aoshi-nii's chagrin; and Shinta-chan had reacted to a tiny slip of a girl who possessed almost more potential energy power than Aoko-kaachan. The only Half-Sekirei left unpaired in our family were Kaien, Aya, Koyuki, Gekkou, Kumako, and Ichigo. Reiko couldn't since she broke herself, and I had counted myself in their number... until now.

**ooo**

I know this should have probably been a happy time for me. Heck, I had been planning celebrations and day-long teasing for whenever Koyuki finally Reacted to somebody. But at the time all I really felt was confusion. The few times I had bothered to think about it, I had been anticipating some heroic fighter-mage swooping in to save me while I was on the run from some evil organization bent on using me for their nefarious purposes. So what if it's a bit close to what Mom went through, I never said I had a good imagination, did I?

It wasn't that I was reacting to a girl. I liked to think we were a very open-minded family, plus there were precedents. Uzume-kaachan still shared a room with Chiho-kaachan, while Fuuko-nee had reacted to that schoolgirl, though I imagine the girl's family wasn't too happy. But Keiko was my sister – a half-sister if you wanted to get into detail, but that's still closer than most laws allow for. I certainly like her enough and I'm certain she tolerated me more than the rest of the family did, but still... I wasn't comfortable with the idea. More than that, I couldn't even imagine how Keiko herself would take it.

With that in mind, I was more than relieved when my Reaction faded away towards the end of the day. I allowed myself to believe that it was just a one-time occurrence, Keiko's sudden increase in magical energy had simply caught my body off guard. Things were back to normal, we could simply just be sisters again. Then Keiko came back from another session and I was hit even harder than before. I knew the process she was going through would stretch out over most of her life in weekly, monthly, or even yearly intervals. I had just assumed that it was only the first time that made my hormones start to go crazy. When the second session's effects hit me, I was nearly floored. It took everything I had to maintain enough concentration to act normally, which made me glad – for the first time ever – that Keiko had different classes than I did.

That day was still sheer torture for a different reason – Fuuko-nee. She _knew_ what was happening to me, having recently gone through the same thing herself. Despite how she acted, she was far from being a ditz and it didn't take her long to figure out _who_ I was Reacting to, either. She started spending as much time with Keiko as possible that day, an easy feat considering Keiko was avoiding us while she recovered from her own set of side effects. The sudden stabs of jealousy that pierced me would have been bearable if Fuuko-nee hadn't kept catching my eye with the corner of her own and smirking at me.

Fortunately the effects wore off later that same day as well, around the same time Keiko apparently felt herself healthy enough to rejoin us. Half of me wondered if we were already bonded on some level, her pains as she adjusted to the foreign presence in her body being transmitted to me and making me want to protect my potential Ashikabi. Another half of me was just grateful that it was over and that I wouldn't have to go through this for another week, hopefully a month.

The next few days went by normally again. Keiko still maintained the illusion that she was successfully keeping her new crest a secret and made no mention of it. Likewise, my sisters and I didn't mention anything about my own behavior. I'm certain Koyuki knew what was going on, but being Koyuki, she would never say anything unless directly asked. Sakuya was definitely curious, but she was so used to coming to me for answers, she had no idea who else to pose her questions to.

It was days like these I was glad I was a genius. On a good day I could maintain almost a half-dozen completely isolated thought processes, a skill extremely useful for multitasking in general, though I generally practiced it the most when diving into computer networks while keeping some shred of attention in the physical world. I began compartmentalizing myself, I took any stray, improper thoughts towards Keiko and shoved them into the lowest, farthest process from my consciousness. After a month – and a third session/attack – had passed, I found my head flooded with everything Keiko. I had to devote two threads now, filled to the brim with observations and fantasies of her. One-third of me was now finding it not such a bad idea to pair up with my sister, an idea that the remaining two-thirds was still slightly squicked out by, but less and less as each day passed. A small part of me, though, was still scared. Even if I was getting closer to accepting this Reaction, I _still_ had no idea how Keiko would feel about it.

Fuuko-nee still didn't help, if anything, she was making it _worse_. Apparently she didn't have the same inhibitions I did and she was apparently disappointed at the lack of progress on our parts, resorting to paying her close, personal attention to incite a response from me. She stopped just short of flirting My Kei – I mean her younger sister, but I refused to rise to her bait. I did trash her Social Studies presentation slides into unrecoverable, corrupted data, but that was just my usual pranking.

It wasn't _delicious _revenge. Not at all. Nope.

The rest of our first year of middle school ended without incident. After the Spring Break we would begin again as second-year students, Fuuko-nee would graduate on to high school, so I would never have to deal with her about this again. Unfortunately I was more right than I knew...

**ooo**

I kept to myself mostly, locked away in the study room Dad had provided the four of us. I had turned it into a miniature command-and-control center, though at this time I only really had control of the majority of the house's cameras. As had become my habit, I flipped through various camera viewpoints using the multiple monitors at my terminal. By this time, I had to devote four threads of thought towards Keiko to keep from getting overwhelmed, so she happened be the subject for the primary monitor, while only two other viewpoints received any active attention.

Tonight was looking to be another transplant night. Like before, Rin-kaachan and Keiko were standing in the magic circle in Rin's study while Chiho-kaachan watched carefully from the side. Dad had stopped visiting after the second session after seeing that the process was becoming routine. I watched with far too much interest as my sister peeled her shirt off. She was practiced enough that she was wearing a strappy tank-top underneath, still leaving enough of her arm and shoulder bare to facilitate the transplant. Even though I would have preferred her just in her underwear, she showed enough skin to make me happy enough. There was the ritual chant to empower the circle from Rin-kaachan, her magically peeling off sections of her own crest and running it across the field to position it in place with Keiko's, and then—

**ooo**

—I woke up with a slightly sore spot on the bridge of my nose where my glasses had pressed into them. Lifting my head from the desk, I glanced at the time on the display and found I had apparently been out for the better part of three... going on four hours. I struggled to remember what I had been doing before I blacked out – I was having an unusually hard time thinking anything out – and looked up at the monitor to see it still set on Rin-kaachan's study. Lying on the couch, apparently passed out as well, was Keiko.

_Keiko_

I shivered, hugging my arms to my chest as I suddenly felt my face grow warm. I had to struggle to tear my gaze away from the screen, nearly bending over double with the effort. I shoved myself out of the chair, collapsing onto the floor, but at least I wasn't looking at –

_Keiko_

– at...her. I had one shred of consciousness that remained my own. I didn't like the thoughts currently running through it. Clearly the Reaction was getting more extreme. Before I had to be near her, or see her with my own eyes before my Reaction would trigger. Now, not only had I felt it the moment her magical levels jumped, but I couldn't even look at her from the safety of a camera. I'd have to get clever to sit this one out. Since school was out, she'd be home all day. I could keep myself locked in a room – not here, I doubted I could even keep the presence of mind to move the camera viewpoint away while she was still in it. I could go to my bedroom, it had been a while since I'd actually slept in there... and then I could just stay in bed, just ask Koyuki to tell everybody I was sick and didn't want any visitors. Nobody, especially not –

_Keiko_

I shakily got back onto my feet, resolutely looking away from my workstation. There was no way I could sleep like this. I'd need something to take my mind off of her before I could pass out, maybe a movie...? Yeah, a movie would work. Throwing open the door, I stumbled down the hallway for the first entertainment den I could think of. I had to cross more corridors and go through a flight of stairs... did I actually head for the _closest_ one? Nevermind, I'm here. Television, check; video player, check; movie... which one? Let's pick one at random. _Ring?_ Sure why not. Maybe thinking of Sakuya instead of

_Keiko_

will help relax me. Okay, get it in, _ladeeda,_ oh look there's the opening scene, boring. Haha stupid girls, why did you watch the tape? Curiousity really killed the cat there.

A noise from behind me made me jump and spin around. Standing there sheepishly, still just wearing her shorts and tank-top was

_Keiko_

She looked somewhat apologetic. "Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt," she said. Her voice sounded really nice... "I was just heading out to get some water... Why are you up so late anyhow?"

I couldn't say anything, my body decided at that moment to deny me any motor control, so I simply sat there, staring at her wide-eyed. She probably couldn't see them, or my blush, from the back-light of the movie behind me. So after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, she shrugged and continued walking down the hallway. That wasn't right. She was walking away from me.

_Keiko_

was walking away. My whole mind was in agreement, not even bothering to stop the movie, I slid around the couch and padded after her. She heard me, of course. She turned around in mid-stride, then froze. In the half-lit hallway, it was much easier for her to see the dazed look in my eyes and the full-on atomic blush I was currently sporting.

"Karin?" she asked warily. I stared impatiently as her own mind made the connections. Her pretend indifference was just that, pretend. She knew full well what had been happening those days and had probably been denying it just as much as I was. Well, she was always a smart girl, I loved her for that.

"Karin...?" She had one of her pistols out now, trained on one of my legs. Bless her heart, my sister is prepared for anything – even in the safety of our house. I took another slow step towards her and her eyes widened, pulling out a second pistol from her dimensional pocket. "Karin, let's not do anything hasty now..."

"Keiko..." It was a voice full of longing, of resignation, of acceptance.

She winced and squeezed a trigger. A rubber bullet embedded itself into the carpet, and she raised both pistols back at me. "L-last warning, Karin. You're not in your right mind right now."

"Keiko is worried about me," I said almost dreamily. "I knew I had good taste..."

She was backing up rapidly now and I was matching her step for step. Keiko really was a girl prepared for any eventuality. Solid bullets, metal or rubber, were all her limited tracing abilities could handle. Special ordinance she kept in weapons lockers scattered around the house, such as tranquilizer bullets. That might have worked too, except by now I was beyond caring.

"I didn't want it to be like this," she said regretfully.

That was enough to stop me in my tracks as my logical part reasserted itself briefly. "What?" I asked flatly.

"I _do _care for you, Sis," she said. "And I'm not blind to what you've been going through. It's... weird, but I guess I don't mind it as much as I thought I would. But... not until you're better and in your right mind. We can do it then, but not like _this._"

It felt like a huge weight I hadn't even known was lifted from my chest and I knew I was smiling. "You're... okay... with this? You have no idea how much I've been trying to avoid this too. How long it took me to come to terms with this. That... you don't know the relief that brings me. Thanks, Keiko."

She smiled back and lowered her guns slightly, "So... can we try this tomorrow? After we both get some sleep?"

I grinned, the light from the hallway reflecting from my glasses.

_**"Nope."**_

Her eyes widened and she raised her arms just as I leapt forward. Even though I knew she wasn't aiming for center of mass, her sudden inability to hit me stressed her out even further. I don't know if this was due to the Reaction pulling out my latent powers, or if it was just because my entire being was focused onto one, single goal, but she was unable to touch a single hair on my skin, or a fiber of my clothing. She half-ran backwards as she fired, her own anxiety letting her retrace spent bullets almost instantly, creating a withering hail that should have been impossible for me to bypass.

I was surprised myself when my body leapt against the wall and ran along it until I was past the barrage. She was completely shocked, which allowed me to tackle her almost gently to the ground, pinning her arms with one of my own and leaning across her body.

"Have I mentioned how nice you look in that tank-top?" I murmured as I leaned down to press my lips against her own.

The hallway lit up in an explosion of light.


	46. EC: Nerima 17

**Emiya Clan – Nerima 17**

* * *

><p>Two girls moved back and forth across the field, alternately advancing and withdrawing from each other. The air between them was a blur of motion as arms and legs clashed in a furious display of blocks, parries, and counterattacks.<p>

Akane's face was twisted in concentration as she beat back Chiyo's relentless assault. She knew without a doubt that she was stronger than her opponent, and after the daily training with Ranma and the rest of the Emiya Clan, she was proud to find she had the slight edge in speed over the other girl. Despite this, Chiyo had seemingly far more combat experience than her and seemed to know her style inside and out. The other girl would launch her strikes which forced Akane to block in positions which forced her to take a precious half-second longer to wind up her strongest attacks, which was all the time she needed in order to move her own limbs into the best position for taking those strikes directly.

Ranma stood on the sidelines, watching the sparring match with a critical eye. On the surface, it seemed the two girls were a fairly close match. It was a marked improvement for his fiancée, considering she had started at a level where most of the physical fighters in the family could flatten her easily. Since his fight with the family elders, Homura had simply requested he allow the children to utilize their full abilities during practices, so they didn't let their skills lapse. The one time he had engaged in sparring with Chiyo, he had nearly been caught off guard by her skill with paired shortswords. He had won, of course, but the margin for victory had been far closer than he'd been willing to admit to anyone. Chiyo, he had been surprised to learn, was actually one of the weakest members of the family, though she had made up for her lack of natural ability using sheer determination and skill.

However, it was that hard-won skill which was the window of opportunity for Akane to win this match, if she could see it herself. Chiyo's skill with her blades was completely reflexive, which was hindering her in unarmed combat. Her hand-to-hand strikes tended towards wide, sweeping motions and thrusting attacks – and they were all just slightly short. Akane was still batting aside each attack she saw coming at her, but if she closed the gap between them she would probably win in a grappling fight. Come to think of it, Ranma suddenly wondered if the older girl had realized her own weakness and was keeping herself slightly out of range on purpose. He didn't think it was to tire Akane out and slow her down; she had much greater endurance than any normal person he knew, aside from Ryouga, but she could catch Akane in a mistake and take advantage of that opening.

Then the mistake came, but to Ranma's surprise it was Chiyo who had made it. She had stepped in too far in one of her thrusting attacks, and rather than parry the blow like she had been doing up until now, Akane turned into the attack, grabbed the outstretched limb, and threw Chiyo over her hip in a classic Judo maneuver. After a sudden flurry of limbs, Chiyo was flat on her back while Akane knelt over her, one hand pressing a shoulder down while another was raised, ready to deliver a knife-edged blow.

Chiyo smiled easily, "Yield." She accepted a hand-up and brushed the grass off of her pants. "I'm impressed, Tendou-san. You've improved greatly since you first came here."

Akane grinned back at her and looked to the side, "I had a good teacher. At last." She grinned wider as Ranma made a face at her.

"Uncute Tomboy," he said, though there was a playful tone to his voice. He winced as she bounced a small rock off his head, then turned to the rest of the group. "Anybody else wanna go at it today?"

Several hands rose into the air; Ranma wasn't surprised to find Kumako's and Haru's had shot up almost instantly. He frowned and raised his voice slightly. "Keeping in mind I'm here to act as a referee, not a combatant."

Haru's hand went down, disappointed, although Kumako's remained raised.

Ranma sighed.

**ooo**

"Ryouga-san~"

Ryouga lifted his head to see Eiko and Koyuki walking up towards him. Slightly flustered, he looked around for Ranma and found the other boy across the field with the majority of the children. "Uh, yes?"

Eiko's grin seemed to grow wider at his discomfort, but she made no mention of it. Instead, she waved out her arm to indicate her companion, "We had a short discussion earlier and thought you could help us with a little experiment."

Ryouga was wary, "What sort of experiment?"

"Shampoo-san has demonstrated the capability to break down walls with seemingly little effort," Koyuki said. "Unfortunately, even with Ranma-sama's assistance I do not believe my capabilities in unarmed combat would match hers for a significant period of time, if ever. I wish to resume training in my traditional skill set, however I would require a means of gauging its effectiveness."

"...huh?"

"She doesn't think she'll ever match Shampoo in speed, so she wants help trying to figure out if she can simply block her with her snow barriers," Eiko translated. "Especially considering the little Amazon seems to pack a fairly strong kick."

"Oh," Ryouga blinked. "Why didn't you just say that?"

"I did," Koyuki said frostily.

"So what exactly do you need me to do?" the Lost Boy asked.

Koyuki and Eiko traded a look, then Koyuki sighed and nodded. The elder girl crossed her arms, "It's pretty simple. She's going to try making the strongest walls she can, and you're going to try to bust it. If she can't make one you can't break through, she knows she needs to work on her power. If she can get one, then she'll just have to work on her speed."

There was still something about the girl's demeanor that made him cautious. Ryouga narrowed his eyes, "There's no trick to this, is there?"

"Not at all," Eiko said with that unnerving smile.

**ooo**

Fortunately, once she had taken off her training bands, Koyuki found she did possess enough power to collect enough snow that Ryouga couldn't simply smash through. Unfortunately, Ryouga could see what the girls meant about 'speed'. After several trials, it had taken the better part of a quarter-hour for her to collect enough snow in the air, and the resulting block was almost thicker than the wall that formed the boundary of the field.

"It's still pretty loose," Ryouga said, shaking off the snow clinging to his hand. "It's not so much that I can't break it, it's just too thick for the attack to go all the way through. It's more like it's ablating the attack rather than stopping it. Can you make it more compact?"

Koyuki thought for a moment then raised a hand towards the block. There was a crunching sound and the snow block compressed into a narrow plate roughly a third of its original size. She remained still for a few moments longer, as if memorizing the structure of the snow block, then lowered her hand and nodded.

Ryouga drew his hand back, then threw it against the wall in a straight punch. White powder exploded from the impact point, but his arm didn't emerge from the other end. He nodded and shook his hand again to throw off the snow clinging to his knuckles. "That works, I guess. Now you said you have to try to make that faster?"

Koyuki chewed on her lip and nodded slowly.

"How fast can you put up one of your normal barriers?" he asked.

Koyuki lifted a hand, then paused for a few moments. She extended that arm out to her side and made a circling motion in the air. "Punch here."

Ryouga lifted an eyebrow but did as she asked, launching a fast strike towards the empty space to her side. White powder exploded in midair and he felt as if he had just run his hand through a small wooden board. He stared as he saw the remains of the shredded barrier midway up his forearm, then it melted away in the air.

"This level is sufficient to protect against projectile attacks, such as the sort Keiko is likely to use in a sparring match," Koyuki explained. She prompted him to launch another strike, which he did. This time he saw her throw an arm out, a wave of snow following the movement and throwing itself against his fist. He still broke through easily, but the snow continued to batter at his arm as it passed, pushing it slightly off course. "That would be sufficient to redirect strikes from Chiyo-neesan or Haru-niisan in a sparring match. However, if they are putting full power into their attacks, they can break through as easily as you have just done."

Ryouga frowned, "And putting up a solid barrier which was capable of outright blocking me took you over ten minutes?"

"That seems to be the case," she said.

Eiko perked up, "We might be going in the wrong direction, you might not _have_ to block her attacks outright."

"But then she'd take a hit, which would probably hurt her a lot," Ryouga pointed out.

"Maybe," the elder girl shrugged. "Maybe not, it really depends on how fast she can be on her feet. But, my point is this: Ryouga-kun, what's that on your arm?"

Ryouga looked down, "Snow?" He began shaking the limb and brushing off the powder with his other hand.

"Exactly." Eiko looked at her sister. "Koyuki, don't you _control_ snow?"

Koyuki froze in place, a mannerism Ryouga was beginning to recognize as a sign she was thinking hard. Suddenly her eyes widened and she looked at him. "Ah..."

Eiko smiled and bent over the other girl so she could whisper into her ear. Koyuki stiffened again, but occasionally nodded at whatever point the other girl was making. Both of their eyes snapped over to him as they straightened.

The Lost Boy scowled, somehow he didn't like where this was going. "What?" he growled. "Don't tell me you're going to try to do something silly like dump me in snow just to try to take control of my body."

"Very well," Eiko nodded. "We are not going to do something silly like dumping a bunch of snow onto you just to take control of your body."

**ooo**

A few minutes later, Ryouga stared at the black-clad woman with a hurt expression on his face. He was stuck in a kneeling position, his arms covered in snow and pressed against the ground. His body visibly twitched as he struggled to rise to a standing position, but every time he made some headway, his hands would suddenly press back down, forcing his body to follow.

"You lied to me," he complained.

"Not really," Eiko said with a chipper smile. "We didn't dump snow onto you, and we didn't take control of your whole body... just your arms." She looked over to where Koyuki was visibly straining with the effort to keep him down. "You can let him go, now."

Koyuki relaxed and Ryouga pulled himself back into a standing position, stretching out the kinks in his back as he did so. He turned around to glare at the obstacle course Eiko had made him run through. Based on the assumption that Koyuki could put up smaller, weaker barriers much faster than she could put up a single one capable of stopping the martial artist, Eiko had Ryouga charge Koyuki from a distance. The snow girl bought herself time by throwing up barriers in his path while simultaneously dodging out of the way of his attacks. The barriers did serve to slow him down slightly, but the real goal lay in the fact that each time he ran through, the snow gradually accumulated onto his arms, Koyuki splitting part of her concentration to make sure none of it was shaken off by his movements. By the time he'd noticed the powder was still present, his arms were already weighted down and – more importantly – there was enough snow present that Koyuki could treat the whole mass as one of her snowballs. The end result was very much like a Ryouga-puppet being led around by invisible strings on his wrists.

Ryouga growled as he rubbed his arms, "It could work, especially if your opponent hasn't seen it before. Once they know what's going on they can just avoid the blocks completely." He suddenly frowned as he noticed the snow on his limbs remained stubbornly in place.

"Certainly, it is a strategy that will require further modification to be combat-usable, but it does open up various additional options for attack or misdirection," Koyuki mused. She glanced over at Eiko, "I am surprised I never thought of it before. Thank you, Eiko-neesan."

"Hey," the Lost Boy called out, "Your snow is melting, can you get it off please?"

Eiko smiled, "No problem, Koyuki. In fact, I also had a few ideas you could use to trick your enemies to run through the stuff."

"Hey! It's.. a lot of snow, I'm a little worried here..."

Koyuki nodded, "I would be grateful if you could share those suggestions with me, Sister."

"Wet! Wet wet wet we—_BWEEE!_"

Eiko looked over her shoulder. "Oh my!" she said with mock horror. "We forgot about Ryouga-san! Koyuki, you should know better than to leave a potential pool of water around him!"

Koyuki tilted her head, "But, you told me that amount of snow was insufficient to trigger his transforma—"

"Bwee?"

"Did I say that? I guess I was mistaken!" Eiko laughed unconvincingly and turned back to the little piglet, who glared at her. "Sorry, Ryouga-kun."

P-chan snorted at her in disbelief and headed for the house at a quick trot, evidently in search of hot water. As he left, Eiko waved at him then turned back to her sister.

"So, here's what I had in mind..."

**ooo**

P-chan made his way across the lawn in annoyance, trying to remember where he had set his travel bag. If he could just get to it, he had a metal canteen and a propane heater he could use to boil up enough water to change him back. He reflected sadly that he was probably the most dexterous piglet in the world. Suddenly he lifted his head to recheck his surroundings... and found himself out on the street somewhere. His eyes suddenly wide, he frantically looked around for any sign of the Emiya mansion, but couldn't see it anywhere from his position. He resigned himself to another few months of random wandering and turned around, but froze as he came across two small feet blocking his way.

He stared up at the short girl in front of him, though she had traded in her usual flowing dress for practical clothing more suitable for physical activity, she had kept her distinctive ribbon in place, though her ash-colored hair had been further tied up into a neat braid. "Ryouga-san," Reiko said quietly as she knelt down. She held out her hands in a clear invitation to climb onto them, which he took with a disgruntled 'bweh'.

She tucked him against her chest with one hand, drawing a blush from the piglet and raised her free hand to the hilt of a full-sized nodachi strapped to her back. P-chan wondered how he had missed seeing before, considering it looked almost comically oversized on her, but refocused his attention on his rescuer as she looked down at him. "Ryouga-san... hold on." Her eyes took on a sudden vacant air. "_Sankakukankei,_" she whispered. She crouched slightly as if to jump, and suddenly the world exploded into a fast moving blur.

Almost before he had time to feel nauseous, the world snapped back into focus and he found himself in a small room decorated almost entirely in black furnishings. Reiko kept him pressed against her as she pulled the sword from her back and set it on a stand alongside an identical copy. Then she walked out with him at a much more agreeable pace into the backyard of the Emiya House.

P-chan blinked, had he really been this close to the place? He mentally shrugged, _Well, I guess I hadn't been wandering as long as I thought I had._

He noted that Reiko was heading over to Ranma's group, where a few heads turned to look at the approaching girl. One of the heads immediately stood up in shock.

"P-chan!" Akane squealed. "How did you find me? Such a good little piggy!" She didn't see Ranma's sudden face-palm or the smirks on a few of the other children's faces.

"Bwee..."

Reiko handed the piglet over to the girl as she approached. "Found... wandering," she explained. Akane was clearly uninterested in any further explanations as she cuddled her 'pet' to her chest.

P-chan promptly fainted.

**ooo**

Still at a distance away from the group, Eiko and Koyuki had been continuing their conversation as they walked back towards the house. They noticed the sudden commotion and Koyuki turned her head to stare at her sister. "Eiko-neesan," she said slowly. "How much of today did you have planned out?"

Eiko turned her head away to avoid her sister's stare. "I don't know what you're talking about."


	47. EC: Nerima 18

Shampoo stared at the girl in front of her, then returned her gaze to the small slip of paper she held in her hand. "New-Girl more brave than Shampoo think." She cracked the knuckles in her other hand and grinned at her ferally. "We fight now?"

"This weekend, at the Furinkan School's athletics field," Koyuki clarified.

"Why not now?"

"Because a challenge like this requires there be impartial observers present," Koyuki said as she glanced around the restaurant. Cologne and Mousse met her stares unflinchingly, although Mousse was glaring back at the potted plant to her right. She turned back to Shampoo, "I also understand it is also considered by the local martial artists to be _the_ place for an honor duel."

"Too true," Shampoo grumbled. She brandished the Letter of Challenge and grinned, "Saturday, then."

The Emiya nodded and turned back towards the front entrance.

"One thing, Girl," the Matriarch grumbled from behind the counter. "I will void any outcome in your favor if it turns out the field has been booby-trapped ahead of time."

Koyuki paused as she reached the door. "A logical assumption," she admitted. "I would be dishonest if I did not admit I had to keep several of my siblings from offering to do so. However, rest assured I will accept a victory won in that manner just about as well as you would."

Shampoo sniffed noncommittally.

**ooo**

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Nerima 18<strong>

* * *

><p>"I still think this is a bad idea, 'Yuki," Karin said as she watched her sister moving through a kata. Koyuki's movements were precise and her stances were as flawless as ever, but her transitions were still far from fluid. The redhead sighed, "You still can't do forms correctly." She looked around for someone to support her argument, but since training for the day had already passed, most of the other children had returned to the house, while Ranma and Akane had already headed back for their own home.<p>

Koyuki didn't deviate from the sequence, "Would you like to spar, Sister?"

Karin blanched. "That's fine, I'll pass for now," she said quickly. While she had raised her general level of fitness, she had coasted through most of the training and was easily the worst student in the family. She was still quicker than Akane had been when she had first arrived, but pretty much everybody – even Reiko – could pin her in under a minute. She watched Koyuki for a few more minutes, then perked up as she felt a familiar magical signature approaching.

Keiko walked up with a bundle of cloth held in her arms, "Good, you're still out here." She quickly sidestepped to avoid a tackle-glomp from Karin and presented it to Koyuki. "Here, try these on."

"Keiko's a _meanie_..." mumbled the hacker.

Koyuki took the first pair of items off the stack and looked at them in confusion. "Gloves?"

Keiko nodded as the snow girl inspected the rest of the equipment she'd brought over. "Gloves, elbow pads, vest, and stockings." She unfolded the vest and channeled a bit of prana through the garment to reveal glowing runes inscribed into the fabric along the shoulders, front, and back sections. "I had Mom help me with making it useable with just a generic prana flow. You get better results if you know what the runes actually _mean,_ but this should be good enough."

"Good enough for what?"

Keiko hefted the vest, "These ones are just basic reinforcement. Run some magic through them and you've got stopping power that's the equivalent of kevlar armor. The elbow pads have runes which should enhance your speed and slightly reinforce the joints so you don't wear them out. The gloves and stockings have the same, but also mixed in with the reinforcement runes so they also act as armor, or a knuckle-duster."

Koyuki unfolded the stockings to press them against her legs and check the size. "Do they really have to go up this high?"

"Yes," the daughter of Rin stated forcefully. "And you should wear a skirt while using them, too."

Koyuki shot an annoyed look at Keiko, who merely grinned.

**ooo**

A quick change of clothing later, Koyuki was back outside. A variation on her normal outdoor wear, she still had her light colored t-shirt and shorts, but had replaced her usual tank-top for Keiko's vest. Her shorts, Keiko noted happily, were not so long as to cover the stockings, giving her a reasonable _zettai ryouiki_. The new garments, all in various dark-colored shades, contrasted against her clothing and pale skin.

Sakuya, who had rejoined her siblings while Koyuki had been changing, gave her sister a thumbs up, "Looks good."

Koyuki tugged on the vest, looking down at the garment. "Did you have Uzume-kaasan make these?"

"Yup," Keiko nodded. "She still has your measurements from earlier. C'mon, power up! I wanna see how you do!"

Koyuki gave her a sidelong glance as she settled into an opening stance, "You seem more excited than is normal..."

Keiko rubbed her head sheepishly. "To be honest, I'm using you as a test subject. I plan to make my own 'battle costume' of sorts eventually, I just wanted to see how it'd work ahead of time."

"I see." Not wasting anymore time, Koyuki closed her eyes to concentrate. Keiko and Karin both felt it as she flared out her aura in a quick burst, then let it fade as she figured out what level of magic was required to empower the runes on her 'battle costume'. After a few minutes, her energy levels stopped fluctuating and she opened up her eyes again. "I think I have it," she noted. She held her stance for another moment, then snapped out an arm in a straight punch, faster than they'd ever seen her move before.

The motion also threw her body after her arm, and she sailed through the air before landing hard on her face and stomach. Her sisters shot to their feet as soon as her own had left the ground and were beside her in a flash.

"Whoa! What happened?" Keiko asked.

"I think it worked," Karin said as she crouched down.

"A little _too_ well, maybe," Sakuya snarked. "Koyuki, are you alright?"

There was a muffled noise from the girl, then she picked up her head dizzily. "I think a face mask might not be a bad idea..." She pressed her arms down to lever herself back up into a sitting position, but only succeeded in throwing herself back into the air.

Keiko caught her before she could get too far and helped her get back to her feet. "Yeaah, I didn't think to put a 'power selection' option. It should only multiply the force it is given, though. Like if you use a weak force, it's a weaker boosted effect."

"I thought you said it would only enhance my speed," Koyuki complained.

"C'mon, 'Yuki," Karin chided her. "Mass times acceleration. Physics 101. You're accelerating waaay too fast now."

Koyuki was silent for a few moments, then nodded. "I see, let me try again." The other three nodded and stepped away, but took care to take positions equidistant from her in case she sent herself tumbling again. Koyuki slowly, precisely reset her stance, then frowned as she adjusted her footing slightly. She carefully threw another punch, which flashed through the air and stopped at full extension just as suddenly, but she maintained her balance this time. Without any further comments, she moved through her kata, her movements as precise as ever. This time, her sisters almost couldn't see her movements as she shifted from stance to stance, slowly circling around an imaginary point. She finished the sequence and stood still for a moment, then lifted her head.

Karin arched an eyebrow. "You know, I think this is the first time you thinking _everything_ through has actually worked out for you. If any of us had tried that normally, we probably would have thrown ourselves off balance in the first stance."

"It makes me wonder what Ranma-sensei would think about it," Sakuya said thoughtfully. "You're still hesitating in your motions, but you're moving so fast now I wonder if it even matters."

"I have an idea," Keiko said as she rubbed her chin.

**ooo**

"Oh, I haven't tried this in a while," Sakuya commented.

A few minutes later the four of them were standing at the entrance to Blockhead's Alley, the nickname that had been slapped onto Ranma's swinging-block obstacle... thingy.

Keiko put her hands on her hips as she watched the swinging boards. "I think my best was about three-quarters of the way, but that's because I ended up hurting my arms from blocking too much." She looked over at Karin, "How far have you gotten?"

"It's too hard, I finish too quickly," Karin said sheepishly.

**"That's what **_**she **_**said."**

"Shut it, Yin."

**"You were asking for it..."**

Keiko slapped Sakuya upside the head, then turned back to Koyuki. The other girl was staring at the swinging blocks with her usual intent expression, so Keiko blocked her view with a hand. "Nuh-uh, you're not allowed to try to memorize the pattern. You've got to go through it just based on your reflexes like the rest of us." She tilted her head questioningly. "Do you still have the enhancements up?"

Koyuki nodded, "I have not yet turned them off."

"Really?" Keiko raised an eyebrow, "So the mana drain isn't too bad?"

"It _is _noticeable, but I am trying to get accustomed to it so I have decided to leave it on for now," Koyuki explained. She turned back towards the entrance, "When do you want me to start?"

"Right now," Keiko said as she gave her a shove.

The three sisters winced as the fourth stumbled into the danger zone with wide eyes. Thrown off balance, she nevertheless managed to twist her body out of the way of the first series of blocks, then there was a flurry of movement and the next set bounced away from her safely. As she stepped into the next set, however, she overcompensated after another dodge and threw herself into a random direction. She slammed bodily into the next block and rebounded to the floor, rolling off to the side and out of the way in a practiced maneuver.

"I think that was the farthest you've ever been," Karin said with a grin. "And you did it in record time."

Koyuki stared daggers at Keiko, but marched back to the beginning without comment. Taking a proper stance this time, she waded back in.

**ooo**

Later that night, Koyuki dragged herself back to her bedroom. A warm bath had helped with most of the aches and pains caused by the sudden strain on her body, though she was certain a good night's sleep would rid her of the rest. She idly scrubbed at her hair as she closed the door, then froze as she turned around and noticed the other occupant in the room. "Mother?"

Sitting on Karin's bed, Akitsu patted the space beside her in invitation. "Koyuki."

The snow girl tossed her towel in the general direction of the laundry hamper, then silently made her way to her mother. Sitting down, she leaned into Akitsu's side, who responded by wrapping an arm around her shoulders. The two sat like that in silence for several minutes, simply taking comfort from their close proximity. Finally, Akitsu reached over with her other arm to engulf Koyuki in a brief hug, then stood up and walked for the doorway. Koyuki watched her leave then resumed her preparations for the night, neither of them having said a single word since their initial greeting.

They didn't have to.

**ooo**

* * *

><p><em>(img155. imageshack. us img155/ 5624/ koyuki. jpg) — koyuki's "battle costume"_

_(a/n) – bit of a warning. i have nerima 'planned' out for one... maybe two more chapters. while there have been some suggestions on the forums for different plot-threads, i haven't thought any of them through enough to continue at the same pace. so nerima will most likely be downgraded back to the occasional one-shot/snippet here and there as a true 'Miscellaneous' omake._

_problem is i also forgot most of my FSD plot-threads too! there's still a few one-shots i still have ideas for, and we'll see if they trigger anything like nerima did.  
><em>

_and uh, school is starting soon. so updates will definitely be popping up much more slowly._


	48. EC: Nerima 19

Two girls stared at each other. Though they were only separated by a few short meters, they appeared wildly different, almost worlds apart.

One was dressed in shimmering – almost ceremonial-looking – silk, the flowing sleeves of her tunic tied with colorful wrappings running from her forearms to her wrist. A lightweight armor wrapped around her torso and lower abdomen, held in place with another silk ribbon, the tails dangling down against her knees. Flexible but sturdy tights ran down to her calves, where the rest of her legs were left bare, ending in soft outdoor slippers. The other girl, in contrast, looked almost painfully casual. She wore a plain cotton shirt underneath a light vest, with denim shorts and thigh-high stockings. She also wore simple outdoor slippers, and it seemed like her only preparation for the coming fight had been to add a set of fingerless gloves and elbow pads to her outfit.

One stood confidently, a graceful yet provocative pose that suggested an almost feline grace as she leaned on a pair of chúi. She was smiling, a narrow-eyed smirk that telegraphed her sense of superiority to anybody watching. The other stood at rigid attention, completely unarmed as she pressed her hands stiffly against her back. Her eyes were also narrowed, though it was with a vacant manner that suggested disinterest.

For the most part, the audience was familiar territory. It was the final weekend before the end of the summer vacation, so most of the Furinkan student body was present to watch their last entertainment for the break. The usual mix of martial artists were present, some of them simply because Ranma was present – though only in the sidelines – while a majority were honestly curious about the newcomer who'd stepped into their lives these past few months.

For the people who had not been paying attention to recent events, the addition of an entirely new group of spectators was puzzling. The appearance of the school-aged children could be written off as friends of the new person. But while the the Saotome, Tendo, and Amazon heads of house were infrequent, though recognized guests, the nearly two-dozen adults interspersed amongst the crowd were complete strangers to the Furinkan students.

"Is good crowd," Shampoo said as she casually looked around.

"Indeed," Koyuki returned. "With a gathering such as this, there will be nobody able to dispute the outcome of this match."

"Yes..." Shampoo kicked up her weapons, then spun them around in her hands in an intimidating display of dexterity before settling them into ready positions at her sides.

Koyuki slowly brought her arms up. "Shampoo, I challenge you for the right to be recognized as one of your peers, as an equal," she said slowly, but clearly.

Shampoo slid one foot forward, letting her right arm trail back in preparation for a strike. "Equal in battle, maybe. Equal in love? No. Ranma is Shampoo's _Airen_."

Koyuki took one step of her own, stepping forward and to the side as she twisted her body, letting her left side lead. She took a moment to concentrate, channeling her magic through her circuits and letting out a small flow to her limbs. As the runes embedded into her clothing hummed with power, she opened her eyes again and gave the Amazon a cold glare. "Ranma-sama is _my Ashikabi._"

**ooo**

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Nerima 19<strong>

* * *

><p>It was a very good thing Koyuki had very forward-thinking siblings. If it hadn't been for Karin's tireless research on Joketsuzoku styles of combat – and Shampoo's in particular – she would have been caught flat-footed against the other girls flowing style, which combined uncommon agility with precise, powerful strikes. If not for Sakuya's ability to throw out massive quantities of simultaneous attacks with her shadows, she would never have been able to develop her situational awareness and been unable to cope with the Amazon's ability to flicker around her, launching attacks from the most inconvenient angles imaginable. Haru and Arika's sparring had left her with a threshold for pain she didn't realize she could reach, letting her know she could survive the hits that mercilessly pummeled her if she let her guard drop. Keiko's contribution had been most welcome, though her speed was still not up to the other girl's level, it was enough to reduce the hits she took and the increase defense helped her absorb the blows that came.<p>

Still, in a completely physical fight, Koyuki was still far outclassed. It was fortunate then, that she was not a physical fighter.

Shampoo was far from being a novice. She had recognized Koyuki's defensive style almost immediately and set to exploit the weaknesses of it. The problem was, Koyuki still had a kata form that any master would shed tears over. For the first few minutes, this served her surprisingly well, since Shampoo would often launch her attacks where Koyuki _should_ have been, had she been doing the form correctly. She might have discovered this right away, except Koyuki had taken to launching fast attacks of snow each time Shampoo came close, forcing the other girl to pay more attention to the immediate threat.

Koyuki spun around a straight attack from one of the large weapons, backhanding it clear of her body and attaching more snow to the giant mace as she did so. So far Shampoo had not seemed to notice the powder coating her weapons. She back-pedaled slightly then threw up a wall of snow to block the girl's vision while she dove to the side, setting up a snow clone in the process. Shampoo swept the obstruction to the side with one weapon, then brought her other hand down onto the clone in an impact that gouged out a small crater.

Shampoo spun around to find Koyuki staring at her from a ready position. "New-Girl good at dodging," she growled. "But still have yet to hit back."

Koyuki lifted a hand, "I don't have to." She made a jabbing motion with her hand, then swept it to the side.

Shampoo watched in surprise as clumps of snow ran from the surface of one of her chúi to flow across her hands. Dropping her other weapon, she brought her free hand around to bat away at the powder. As she did so, she suddenly caught motion out of the corner of her eye and threw herself backwards to avoid the mace she had just released as it swung itself through the air where her head had been. The weapon impacted against its twin, the force of the blow dislodging it from her hand. As she skidded to a stop, she shook the last of the snow from her arms and watched the powder dribbling off her weapons as well. She lifted her head and glared at the snow user. "Good trick."

Koyuki didn't waste her breath on a reply as she caught the first flickers of movement from her opponent. She dropped flat to the ground in a sprawl, just in time to avoid Shampoo's leaping strike through the space she had just vacated. Quickly gathering her feet back under her, she reevaluated her position. Having abandoned her weapons, Shampoo's speed was on a whole new level and Koyuki knew she had to put her main strategy into place sooner than she had thought. Showing her hand this early had probably been a mistake, but the chance for a decisive blow so early had been too great to pass up.

She spun back onto her feet, just in time to catch a left hook across the back of her right hand. She continued spinning with the attack, bring her left behind her for a backhanded strike that Shampoo ducked. She hesitated for another moment to run the next appropriate sequence through her head, once again dodging a retaliatory strike by simply not being where she was supposed to be, then stepped in smoothly to catch the limb as Shampoo was recovering.

Shampoo pulled her arm back, the sudden motion throwing Koyuki off balance, a state which was compounded as Shampoo stepped in to use her shoulder as a fulcrum to toss her. The snow girl managed to get her feet back underneath her and turned her fall into a controlled tumble. She stopped in a crouch, letting another attack from Shampoo sail over her head. The Amazon growled in annoyance.

"Shampoo not know if you doing this on purpose, or if you just dumb." She circled Koyuki warily, "Shampoo think the second."

Koyuki nodded in understanding. "One of my brothers told me it was he was fighting against a 'button masher'," she admitted. "Sorry."

The Amazon tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Shampoo not understand reference."

"Neither did I," Koyuki replied as she rose back to her feet.

Shampoo stepped with a short jab which Koyuki simply parried, not bothering to attack back. She frowned and threw out a fully extended punch, which was also parried. She was about to try a third attack when her danger sense flared and she cartwheeled to the side, narrowly avoiding the snowball that had been gathering behind her.

Koyuki snapped out her hand and stepped to the side as the snowball reached her. Spinning, she guided the attack around her to build up additional momentum then unleashed it back at Shampoo with an extra burst of speed. Just as the other girl was about to dodge, she flooded the ball with extra prana, breaking it into tiny chunks which exploded forward into a cone, showering the area with tiny pellets.

Despite the wide area of effect, Shampoo was able to escape a significant amount of the attack. The few pieces that managed to adhere to her were not enough to significantly hamper her movements as she closed the distance between her and Koyuki once again. This time she didn't stop with just one or two probing attacks. She attacked with a fluidity Koyuki had rarely seen outside of spars between Ranma and Ryouga. Punches flowed into kicks which transitioned into thrusts which went into paired punches, an endless assault that Koyuki was pressed to keep ahead of, even with the heightened speed given to her by the magical enhancements of her armor.

Koyuki was just able to turn aside each of her attacks, but then Shampoo changed her attack pattern. Finally realizing Koyuki's glaring weakness, she didn't strike immediately, but instead took an extra half second to gauge where Koyuki's openings were. As Koyuki took the time to analyze Shampoo's new stance, she suffered several punishing blows during her moment of hesitation. Shampoo stepped in to finish the combo with an uppercut, sending the snow girl flying through the air to collapse near the side of the field.

Screams and shouts rose from the spectators as she landed, mostly from the student body as they revised the odds and wagers with the Tendou's middle child. Cologne watched with grim satisfaction as her great-granddaughter displayed her superiority, though she privately admitted to herself the Emiya girl was doing better than she had expected. The Emiya Clan contingent had more traditional shouts and a few boos from their end. Shirou had stood up as Shampoo slowly approached the fallen body, only to be pulled back down by Arturia. Of the Wrecking Crew, Akane was the most verbal, shouting insults and other comments at the Amazon heiress. Ranma, Ryouga, and Ukyou remained quiet, watching the match with tension in their postures.

Shampoo stalked towards the fallen girl just now pushing herself back onto her knees. She crossed her arms as she looked down imperiously, "New-Girl quits, yes?"

"...yield" Koyuki whispered.

"Hm?" Shampoo leaned forward slightly, taking care to stay out of arm's reach from the other girl.

"I..." Koyuki coughed and clutched at her side with one arm, "will... ... ield..."

Shampoo leaned back with a smirk, "Louder. Shampoo not sure people hear."

Koyuki's head snapped up to glare at her. "I. Will. **Not**. Yield!"


	49. EC: Nerima 20 FINAL

_Shampoo stalked towards the fallen girl just now pushing herself back onto her knees. She crossed her arms as she looked down imperiously, "New-Girl quits, yes?"_

_Koyuki's head snapped up to glare at her. "I. Will. __**Not**__. Yield!"_

**ooo**_  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Nerima 20<strong>

* * *

><p>Shampoo launched herself backwards as Koyuki's power exploded around her. Raw energy flared out across the ground where she'd previously been standing. Koyuki struggled to her feet, the energy vanishing as quickly as it had come, and lifted her head to stare at her opponent. Aside from a slight tightening of her eyes, there was nothing in her expression to indicate her brief outburst. She gave Shampoo one short nod and slowly dropped into her combat stance.<p>

Shampoo leapt back again to give herself some more space, landing several dozen meters away. She kept her distance cautiously; she looked as if she was considering retrieving her chúi, but there was still enough snow left on them for them to twitch at Koyuki's command. As they moved, she quickly backed away from the weapons, causing a metaphorical light bulb to flash in Koyuki's head.

The snow girl closed her eyes briefly and cut off the mana flow to her rune armor. As she did, the temperature around her dropped and a slight breeze blew across the field.

She was not fast enough nor skilled enough to be a _'Close-Combatant._' She did not have the raw power to be _'Fire Support.'_

Snow began to fill the air around her, tiny flakes spiraling around her that gradually grew in size.

She could not beat Shampoo at her own game, so she would have to change the nature of the game they were playing. Similar to how she couldn't hope to defend against Ryouga's preposterous strength, she couldn't ever beat Shampoo while she was at her full speed.

Almost as if the thought had been a signal, Shampoo charged her position, crossing the distance in several long jumps. The snow spiraling around Koyuki was consolidated into large sheets now, partially obstructing her vision. With a mental command, patches of frost were ejected from the spiraling formation in all directions. They shot past Shampoo as she dodged, peppering the ground behind her with snow. More sheets flew out in shallower angles, concentrated on the Amazon's approach. She responded by shooting off to the side, avoiding a new barrage, but a large patch of snow splattered the ground just as she was landing. She bounced away almost immediately, but the snow clung to her, resisting her efforts briefly before she pulled away. Shampoo landed on clear ground, immediately attempting to stamp off the clinging snow, only to find it had adhered itself quite thoroughly against her legs. She looked around in dismay as she noticed the immediate area was more white than green, with the safe areas rapidly disappearing as the _Storm Wall_ continued to dispense patches in all directions.

Cologne had only warned against trapping the field before the fight. She had never said anything about laying them down in the middle of combat. While Koyuki was not proficient in direct combat, she _did _excel at '_Area Denial'._

Just as Shampoo had reached the same conclusion, Koyuki channeled her magic into her _Storm Wall,_ imbuing it with enough prana for it to sustain itself for several minutes, and directed it forward. The storm moved across the field at a deceptively slow pace towards the Amazon, who immediately jumped out of the way for another safe area. The storm changed directions to track her movement, still slinging out snow across the field as it did so.

Standing almost completely still, Koyuki began summoning snowballs of various sizes. Not waiting for them to gather in size, she launched them in spreads along Shampoo's path, forcing the Amazon to take heavy evasive action. She felt more than saw several of the smaller attacks hit the other girl along one arm and diverted some of her concentration to making sure they stuck in place. Shampoo noticed the extra drag immediately, redoubling her efforts to avoid taking hits. In this current battle of attrition, so long as Koyuki was allowed even minor hits, Shampoo would eventually lose.

As if her thoughts paralleled her own, Shampoo abruptly changed angles to retake the offensive, cutting back across the path of the moving Storm Wall. The move invited a debilitating attack of opportunity from the construct, but Koyuki had been caught off guard by the maneuver and didn't have time to command it to do so. As Shampoo closed in using an evasive, circular route, Koyuki spun around to track her, launching more directly at her, or commanding the snow on the ground to rise up and ensnare her. Shampoo responded by turning suddenly and charging straight for her. Running mana back into her armor, Koyuki launched a large snowball directly at her, then prepared to leap in the opposite direction Shampoo would dodge so she could maintain her distance.

To her surprise, Shampoo suddenly appeared to blur and several figures emerged around the attack, one to each side and a third leaping over it. In her confusion, Koyuki hesitated for a brief moment, long enough for a fourth presence to materialize behind her. She half twisted towards the new attacker just in time to catch a strong blow to her ribs. She managed to move with the attack, jumping away to reduce the damage, but landed still hard on her back.

"Surprised?" Shampoo asked as she drew back her leg. "New-Girl not only one being trained. Great-Grandmother taught Shampoo Ancient Amazon Technique: Splitting Cat Hairs."

Koyuki winced and surreptitiously pressed a hand to her side. Light bruising of her ribs, though she would have hated to find out what impact that would have made had she been unarmored; she made another mental note to thank Keiko after this. "It is a useful ability," she admitted. "But now that I know to expect it, it won't be as effective the next time."

Shampoo smiled, "True. But that not all I learned." Koyuki threw up her arm, raising a wall of snow that Shampoo easily dodged around. She blurred forward and threw a rapid series of punches with the speed of the Chestnut Fist behind them. Even as snow exploded between them in a last ditch-effort to redirect or ablate the damage, the force of the blows sent Koyuki skidding across the ground. The snow managed to slow down the attack enough so that the Amazon had _only_ been able to put out around fifty punches before Koyuki had been able to disengage, avoiding the worst of the damage.

Shaking her head to clear out a sudden dizzy spell, Koyuki lifted herself back to her feet... and then toppled over again. Her eyes were suddenly wide as she realized she had no feeling in one of her legs – or for that matter – that entire side of her body. "What... what was that?"

"Secret Ancient Amazon Technique," the cat girl held up her index and middle fingers pressed together. "Pressure Points. You dodge well, you save half your body. But," she drew her hand back, her fingers ready to pierce out, "now you no can move. It time to lose, you have no other option."

"You might be surprised," Koyuki said, leaning onto her good leg. "My body just might be sturdier than you think." On cue, a distracting explosion of snow filled Shampoo's vision.

"New-Girl do this already!" she shouted. Drop a smoke-screen, leave a clone in place to draw in the attack while she escaped to safety. Shampoo backed up slightly and caught the flicker of movement from one edge of the cloud. "Cannot fool Shampoo twice!" she said as she charged the fleeing figure.

She watched in glee as her target's face paled almost to white as the trick failed and she closed in on her. With a triumphant cry, Shampoo speared her arm forward, embedding her hand wrist-deep into the girl's back.

Wait, what?

She turned around to where the snow clone _should_ have been, finding the real Koyuki still lying there. "On the other hand," the snow girl was saying. "Maybe I really am unable to move." She shrugged apologetically. "But, that does not mean I am without options."

Shampoo spun back around just as the snow clone she had speared disassembled itself and flowed over her body, entrapping her arms and legs. She struggled, but more snow formed in the air around her to pack itself around her and pin her in place. No longer able to maintain her balance, she toppled over with a shriek. "Come here and release Shampoo!" she ordered.

"I cannot move," Koyuki said dryly. She could feel some minor tingling in her limbs which suggested imminent recovery, but she had a feeling it would take longer than the few minutes she had until she exhausted her powers. "So, if you cannot move either, where does that leave us?"

"New-Girl has not yet beat Shampoo, so New-Girl has not won," Shampoo stated.

Koyuki summoned a snowball to hover in front of the Amazon's face. "Yet I am still capable of attacks, while you are not. I would say this means I have the advantage."

"Give Shampoo time." The girl squirmed against her bindings, "Once Shampoo is free, New-Girl get pounded."

"Actually, I think I have the advantage there as well." Koyuki relaxed the powers she had been using to keep the snow in its frozen state in the late summer heat. "Please recall what my element is."

"What New-Girl talking abou—" Suddenly Shampoo's eyes widened. "_Aiya!_ Snow is melting! Let Shampoo go, now! Otherwise... _Nyaa!"_

Koyuki watched as her snow formation collapsed in on itself. The pile of snow shifted slightly, then broke as a tiny purple-haired kitten shook its way free. Despite herself, she felt her cheeks blushing as the feline shook off the remaining water from her fur. "So cute..."

Neko-Shampoo hissed at her in irritation.

**ooo**

After the expected mad rush across the field by the crowd, a small circle opened up around Koyuki, Cologne, and Shirou. Cologne was cradling Neko-Shampoo, somehow accomplishing that feat despite maintaining her grasp on her walking stick. Chiho was by Koyuki's side, trying to figure out a way remove the effects of the pressure points so she could stand up again. A nervous crowd of martial artists and Emiyas surrounded the gathering, eyes focused on the two family leaders staring down at each other. Neko-Shampoo yowled in protest at being so close to the two as tension filled the air.

"Shampoo still lacks experience," the Matriarch stated. "That said, I will recognize Koyuki Emiya as having bested her in a combat situation. Your daughter is very capable at distraction techniques and single-target disables."

"Thank you, Elder," Koyuki said from her position on the ground.

"Thanks," Shirou grumbled. "But what about her petition for 'Equality'?"

"She bested my Great-Granddaughter in a combat _situation_," Cologne stressed. "Not in _combat_. She is still a subpar warrior." Her eyes narrowed into a slightly amused expression. "Since my daughter's combat prowess remains unchallenged, there is no need to deal with the Kiss of Death."

Shirou glared down at the Matriarch. "I didn't realize that was even an option on the table here."

"Please," Cologne sighed. "Your daughter's skill in magic is something that cannot be taught, that we cannot duplicate. There's no point for us to take her in as a Sister of the Tribe. There would be nothing we could learn from her, yet she has learned much about us after fighting against my Great-Granddaughter." She looked around at the darkening faces all around her and raised up a hand. "However, you are not the only people who can learn about their opponents. I have made my own observations regarding your... Clan. For one thing, it pleases me greatly to see most of your authority is vested amongst the females."

Shirou's wives all looked at each other with mixed embarrassment and surprise. Shirou sighed and beckoned Arturia to join him at his side. The two shared a glance, then she joined in on the conversation. She accepted a blunt weapon from Shirou, staring in amusement at the tiger-shaped tassel on the handle before she planted the tip into the ground and rested her hands on it. She stared down at Cologne with all the regal weight given to her by years of having ruled a country. "Get to the point, Elder," she ordered.

"Having witnessed demonstrations between two members of our Tribes, I believe it would be prudent to draw up a nonaggression pact between us. A Truce, if you would." Cologne's eyes lifted in amusement. "We will not make any unprovoked attacks on your children, and I would expect you to do the same."

Arturia gave the crowd a pointed look, bringing attention to the disparity in numbers between the Clan and the Joketsuzoku present. "What you would gain is obvious, why should we agree?"

"Do not mistake our low numbers for lack of strength," Cologne said. "I assure you, you have not seen the limits of what we are capable of."

"I could say the same thing to you," Arturia said dryly as she glanced towards her husband. Shirou simply shrugged and she turned back towards the Amazon. "Very well, we have an accord." She held out her hand towards Cologne, who took it and shook it briefly.

The crowd began to disperse slowly, but Ranma piped up, "Wait, what about Akane? You didn't say nothing about leaving her alone!"

Cologne didn't look back as she pogo'd away. "_She_ hasn't yet beaten my Great-Granddaughter. We'll talk again if she ever does."

"I can beat her!" Akane shouted in anger. "I'll beat her _right now!_"

Cologne did stop at that, turning around with an annoyed expression. Several other people around also stared as Cologne presented Neko-Shampoo hissing at the Tendou girl.

A voice piped up from the Emiya crowd, "You'd beat up a cute, little kitty like that? That's just low."

Akane seemed to realize what she'd been saying, "I mean... when... she's back to normal. I'll beat her then. But anytime! I'll take her at any time! You hear me?"

Cologne and Neko-Shampoo traded a glance, then they both shook their heads slowly as Cologne resumed her search for hot water.

**ooo**

Cologne had only gone a few more paces when a dark figure stepped towards her from the shade of a tree. The Matriarch almost lashed out with her staff at the abrupt intrusion, but held back as she saw it was only a dark-haired girl in her early teens.

"Not so fast," the youth was saying. "Shirou might be done with you but _I_ still have a few questions for you, _'Elder'._"

"What do you want, child?" Cologne asked impatiently. "I have business elsewhere, so make it quick."

The girl grinned behind her glasses. Faster than Cologne could see, she had whipped out her arm, ripping Cologne's walking staff from under her and dumping the Elder and her passenger to the ground. She spun the staff through several quick motions, then stabbed it back into the ground, leering down at the Amazon. Despite being unable to currently see her eyes, Cologne felt a shiver as something truly ancient made its presence known.

"A child, huh?" The... person's smile took on a hard edge. "You're several hundred years too early to be showing such disrespect towards _me_ like that, young whelp."

Neko-Shampoo howled in fright at the dark presence and she jumped out of Cologne's suddenly limp arms, breaking away for the far side of the field.

"Who are you?" Cologne asked as she narrowed her eyes. "What do you want?"

"Altrouge Brunestud-Emiya," the dark girl said as she planted her hands on her hips. "And I've got a few questions for you Amazons regarding your... _'Mining Techniques'... _"

**ooo**

Neko-Shampoo was completely focused on her escape from the Scary-Girl, only slowing to a stop as she felt it fade with distance. Never had she experienced something quite like that, not even her Great-Grandmother or the other Tribal Elders at their most serious. Just the memory of it chilled her, making her shiver with anxiety.

"Ah, the poor kitty is cold!" a voice popped up behind her.

"We should probably warm her up!" said another.

Neko-Shampoo turned around to find several girls staring at her, each sporting uncomfortable looking smiles. A willowy purple-haired girl with glasses blocked her way; a busty black-haired girl stared down at her with an odd twinkle in her eye.

"Hey, Sis, got the camera?"

There were a few others, but Neko-Shampoo focused on the one with red hair and shining glasses, who was carrying a steaming kettle, and a small electronic device.

"Always."

_Ah!_ Neko-Shampoo thought. _Great-Grandmother has my clothes!_

**ooo**

Chiho and Chiyo _tsked_ as they scrolled through various screens on their tablet computers. "I can't find any published material that describes these effects," Chiho complained. "I'm beginning to seriously dislike Amazons and their 'Ancient Techniques'!"

"I'm beginning to agree with you, Mother," Chiyo said as she paged through her own searches with similar results. "I may have to have a... discussion with Shampoo-san in the near future."

"She's still stuck?" The two nurses and Koyuki's eyes all flicked towards Ranma as he walked up to them. Akane trailed him by a few paces, waving at Koyuki as she approached.

"Ranma-sama!" Koyuki twitched as she tried to bring herself into a sitting position, but stilled when Chiyo placed an arm on her shoulder.

"Hey, 'Yuki," the martial artist greeted. He turned towards Chiho, "Y'know, if you two are stumped, there's a doctor who runs a clinic near my place who could probably help."

"Really?" Chiho arched an eyebrow, "Even with something as esoteric as this?"

"Pressure points are actually Dr. Tofu's specialty," Akane said. "He's probably the best there is!"

"How interesting!" Chiho's eyes brightened. "Do you think he has any research papers or notes on the subject?"

"Um, maybe?" Akane said uncertainly. She looked at Ranma who shrugged helplessly. "We could ask him."

"Do you have his address?"

"We can just lead you there," Ranma said. "Have him take a look at 'Yuki while you ask him."

"Oh, no, I'd wouldn't want to bother him while he's treating her."

"How 'bout this, then?" Ranma said. "I'll just carry her over there – I can do it real fast – while Akane walks you over. He'll probably be done by the time you arrive and can give you his full attention."

"That could work," Chiho said. "If Akane-san doesn't mind?"

Akane shrugged, "I owe you two for keeping us in one piece during our lessons."

"Ah," Koyuki interrupted. "How would you carry me? I only have the use of one arm, I would not be able to keep myself secure."

"Simple," Ranma crouched and picked her up in his arms, bridal style. The snow girl immediately flushed a deep red.

"This... will work, I think?" she turned towards Akane with an apologetic look.

The Tendou girl twitched, reflexively reaching over her shoulder to draw her mallet, but sighed and visibly deflated. "Take her, but _make it quick!"_

Ranma blushed as well, as if just realizing what sort of image he was presenting. "Sorry! It was the first idea that popped into my head! Honest!"

"Just get going, _BAKA!"_

"Going!" There was a whisper of movement, and Ranma was suddenly gone.

Chiyo tittered openly while Chiho hid her mouth behind a hand. They both schooled their expressions as Akane turned back towards them. "Let's go, I'd rather not have the pervert alone with her any longer than needed."

**ooo**

The martial artist leapt across the Nerima skyline with practiced movements, moving with such fluid grace that even while held securely in her Ashikabi's arms, Koyuki could barely feel any jarring as he landed and rebounded towards the sky. Immobilized as she was, her only view was Ranma's face as he stared ahead with a determined expression. The idea that he was being so careful with her renewed the blush on her cheeks, and Koyuki felt another rush of pride in her chosen one.

Over the past few weeks she had borne witness to his skill and his determination. She had smiled as he accomplished brilliant feats of strategy, and winced as he made an absolute fool of himself. She had seen first-hand how he treated his friends, and also how he had treated his... not-quite friends. He'd certainly been less aggressive towards that odd old-man who'd stolen her underwear than her sisters had been. More like resigned annoyance, in fact.

She'd memorized everything that Matsu-kaasan had collected about the boy, so she knew she still had not seen him at his best, nor at his worst. In fact, she understood that she knew far more about her Ashikabi than he probably knew about her. But, she also knew he wasn't against the idea of getting to know her better. He might not yet be comfortable with romantic attachments, but given his life up until now, a certain... 'allergy' to engagements was understandable.

But she could put aside her dreams for now. She was patient; she could wait for him to open up to her. She felt like she could do anything, as long as it was for her Ashikabi. For–

"Ranma-sama..." she said it without thinking, then blinked as Ranma's concerned face stared down at her even as he maintained his pace across the rooftops.

"What's up? Is something wrong? I'm not going too fast am I?"

"Ah, no..." she said quickly, burrowing her face into his side to hide her sudden blush. She wished she had feeling in more than half of her body so she could enjoy this situation more, but otherwise... "No," she repeated quietly.

"This is perfect."

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan Misc – Nerima<strong>

**—END—**

* * *

><p><strong>ooo<strong>

•

•

•

**—Omake!—**

* * *

><p><em>A few weeks later...<em>

Koyuki stepped into an unfamiliar hallway. She tugged at the hem of her new uniform, a much larger skirt/blouse combination than she was used to from her old school. The Vice-Principal guided her to her new class, where she noticed another transfer student was standing, waiting to be introduced. She probably wouldn't have recognized her if it weren't for the bright purple hair.

She froze in place, "Shampoo-san?"

The Amazon spun around, then narrowed her eyes. "_Nihao..._ New-Girl forced into school too?" she grumbled.

"Actually, I did ask Father for permission to transfer to Furinkan." Koyuki eyed the other girl picking at her uniform in distaste. "I assume from your question you did not have much say in the matter?"

"Great-Grandmother not pleased Shampoo unable to beat New-Girl. She say if Shampoo cannot win at fights, then Shampoo must win at life. Other girls go to _airen's_ school. So Shampoo will go to _airen's _school and beat them at life." Shampoo crossed her arms sullenly, "She also say she want Shampoo to speak Japanese better."

Koyuki chose not to comment on that. "It would not be a bad idea for the Joketsuzoku Heiress to have a broader perspective on the world," she said neutrally.

"Maybe," Shampoo admitted.

The Vice-Principal stepped back out into the hallway. "Hinako-sensei is ready for you two now, please enter."

The two girls followed him back inside where their new... teacher was making introductory remarks... while perched on a stack of textbooks. Koyuki blinked, _Is that a child?_

Near the back of the room, a certain martial artist blanched while the girl next to him slammed her head into her desk. "Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me!"

"Ooh," Shampoo brightened. "Shampoo like this class already!"

**ooo**

* * *

><p><em>(an) – yes this is the end of the Nerima storyline proper. there may still be a few one-shots here and there, but for the most part this is all i really had planned out, and it still stretched on for much longer than i had expected it to._

_...wait! come back!_

_F:SD will still be updating, it was conceived as a series of disconnected omakes, so the lack of a storyline really doesn't matter here. there will still be other Emiya Clan miscellaneous dumps, so look forward to seeing a focus on maybe some of the other kids. i never really expected this to get as popular as it did (100 unique page views is a lot more than what the forum gets, so this counts as 'popular' to me)_

_if you're looking forward to my 'next series', sorry to say i don't have on planned out. i consider myself a 'spontaneous' type of person, so if i find an omake that i suddenly really enjoyed writing, or one that people suddenly go, ZOMG WRITE MOAR OF THIS, then ... that just might be it. until then..._

_onward with the character building! plot? screw plot!  
><em>


	50. Emiya Clan Misc: Ouran

_(a/n) — this snippet is based off a very early idea/snippet originating in the TFF Omakes threads**. **i think the first omake taking this course was written by KittyBear in the Emiya Clan thread (pg4, #204). let's see how well this goes over..._**  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Emiya Clan Misc – Ouran<strong>

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><p>"Ta~ke~shi~ kun! We're in the same class again!"<p>

Takeshi Emiya moved his school bag to the side just as a yellow blur tackled him. "Haninozuka-kun?"

A pint-sized third-year student looked up at him with tearful eyes. "Mou, Takeshi-kun, I told you to call me 'Honey'!"

Takeshi adjusted his glasses in annoyance as he pried Mitsukuni Haninozuka's arms from his sides. "That wouldn't be proper, Haninozuka-kun." He nodded gratefully as a tall black-haired boy made his way over to the doorway.

"Mitsukuni," Takashi Morinozuka said quietly. "You shouldn't be making a scene."

Haninozuka crossed his arms and pouted. Not for the first time, Takeshi was struck by the resemblance to his younger brother, Gekkou – which was wrong on so many levels, not the least was that a student his elder by several weeks looked far too much like an elementary schooler.

"But it's amazing!" the blonde protested. "Takeshi-kun's family has almost no prestige, so normally he'd be in class C or D. But his grades in first and second years were in the top ninety-percentile, so he's all the way here in class A!"

"...which you already pointed out last year," Takeshi said. "I don't think it warrants a new round of celebration."

"But it's amazing!" Haninozuka insisted. Morinozuka managed to distract him with a plush bunny he'd pulled out of nowhere, reminding Takeshi of yet another elementary-aged sibling.

"By the way, Takeshi-kun." Haninozuka seemed to be successfully calmed down, considering the lower tone of his voice. "Have you thought about what I told you before the break?"

Takeshi barely managed to avoid a reflexive shudder. "Yes, Haninozuka-kun, but my answer remains the same. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I do not require extracurricular activities... of _that_ sort to provide income."

"Are you sure?" the blonde insisted. "Tama-chan had a lot of luck with a pair of middle school students last year, and now they're first years! They're suu~uper popular!"

"Quite sure," the purple-haired Emiya said as he adjusted his glasses.

"Reaally?" Haninozuka stared at him with watery eyes.

Takeshi stared back, his face impassive.

Haninozuka stared back with watery, puppy, teary eyes.

Morinozuka also stared at him, tilting his head as if to say, _Do you want to be the one responsible if he starts crying?_

Takeshi blinked. Then he lowered his head and sighed. "I'm not promising anything, but I'll go ahead and visit."

"Yaay!" Hani threw Usa-chan high into the air in celebration, then caught the plush and ran circles around Morinozuka. "We got Takeshi, Takashi!"

"I said I wasn't promising anything!" Takeshi said in exasperation.

**ooo**

"Haninozuka-kun, what is this?" Takeshi was very proud of his self-control in the face of absurdity. Being the eldest child in a very large family, he was the sibling they all looked to as an example. He was the buffer between his fellow siblings and his parents, once he was old enough he found himself helping out Uncle Gilgamesh in disciplining the younger kids – it would not be a stretch to say he'd seen almost every kind of mischief that the human mind could possibly think of.

Despite this experience, he was at a total loss when confronted with this... madness.

"This, Emiya-sempai, is the Ouran Host Club at it's finest!" Before Hani could formulate a reply, another blonde student walked up and gracefully tucked one hand under his chin. "Ouran is a unique Academy which stresses the importance of family lineage and social standing for our students, then wealth. As such, what we have here are beautiful young maidens with too much time on their hands being entertained by handsome young men – a unique, elegant playground for our school's elite."

Takeshi arched an eyebrow at the second-year student in front of him. "Suoh-kun, I understand your father is the chairman for this academy. However I don't think that gives you the right to condone this... this... _debauchery_ on school property!" He threw out a hand to indicate the giggling, squealing mass of schoolgirls seated opposite a pair of redheaded twins.

Tamaki Suoh took the comment in stride, the soft smile never fading from his face. "Emiya-sempai, you misunderstand. This is innocent byplay, merely to tease and inflame the spirit, but never do we let it cross such a line. We hosts are professionals!"

"...and so because of his nightmare, Kaoru wanted to sleep together," one of the twins was saying.

"Hikaru! Telling our customers such things... how... how could you?" the other tearfully exclaimed.

"Don't worry Kaoru, it's not like I'd ever let one of them into my bed, not when I have you..."

"...Hikaru!"

The girls watching them all shrieked happily. Takeshi arched an eyebrow and struggled to not doom the whole room to Hannya exposure.

Tamaki was about to comment on the Hitachiin twins' antics when the door to the room clicked open.

"Sorry for intrudi– what's this?" A bespectacled boy in very worn clothing blinked in confusion. "I thought this was the music room."

Tamaki immediately spun around, his whole demeanor sparkling. The other hosts immediately looked up from what they were doing and all six of them joined in the greeting, _"Irasshaimase!"_

The newcomer blinked and backed himself against the door. "Wha– what the heck is with this group?"

"Haah? It's just a guy," the twins chimed in unison.

"I'm not with them," Takeshi said quickly.

**ooo**

Takeshi made use of a comfortable couch a far distance away from the rest of the group while he sorted himself out. On one hand, the group as a whole was not nearly as bad as the combined antics of Fuuko, Karin, and their mothers. On the other hand, he and Miya-kaasan would easily punish them for behavior far more tame than this. He spotted a short mop of yellow hair hovering around chest height making its way over. Idly, he wondered how the childish Haninozuka fit into this madness, until he saw yet _another _squealing first year easily pick up the diminutive third year in a glomp. The process repeated itself over and over, as one girl would pick up where another left off, until he saw Morinozuka navigate the mob and pluck the blonde out of the group. The two made their way over to the couch Takeshi was crashed on, Haninozuka munching on a plate full of cake he'd picked up from somewhere.

"Isn't this great, Takeshi-kun? Isn't it fun?" the boy cheerfully exclaimed.

"I'm about three minutes away from unleashing the Hannya on all of you," Takeshi truthfully replied.

"Aww, don't be like that. The last time you did that even the teacher was in the nurse's office for the rest of the day!" Haninozuka happily cut away another piece of cake and shoved the whole thing into his mouth at once. "Ne, have you met Haru-chan? Tama-chan's showing him around now. Since he accidentally broke that vase, Kyou-chan said he could work it off by joining us! So if you stay, we'll have two new members!"

Takeshi remembered Kyouya Ootori from an encounter the previous year after he'd confronted two black-suited men who had seemed to be following him. The third son of the Ootori Medical's CEO had given a formal apology for the men's actions – as he'd explained, since the Emiya family was relatively unknown in the circles the Ouran students' families tended to frequent, his guards may have been overly zealous in attempting to determine his background. He hadn't seen much of the then-first-year student after that, though after seeing him associated with this rabble, Takeshi had an inkling it was Ootori who had prompted Haninozuka to suddenly take an interest in himself last year. He reminded Takeshi of Matsu-kaasan, driven to learn everything he could about the people around him, though where Matsu might simply do a search of every electronic network in existence for references, Ootori used more mundane means.

He could easily imagine Ootori being the sort of person to watch the bottom line, scrutinizing every single yen that passed through the club's coffers. So the idea that he'd press the poor wandering first-year into hard labor to pay off the broken vase he'd bumped into was completely in keeping with what he knew of the boy. Shame about that... what did Haninozuka call him, Haru-chan? Shame about that Haru fellow. Takeshi shuddered as he thought about what Haru Emiya's reaction to paying off the vase would have been.

Haninozuka, meanwhile, had continued monologuing, nevermind that Takeshi hadn't been paying attention. The blondes voice suddenly rose with excitement, causing Takeshi to wince again at his building headache. "Oh! Tama-chan! Over here!"

Suoh smiled as he walked over to their table with a sullen-looking boy behind him. "Honey-sempai! Emiya-sempai! I was wondering where you had run off to!"

"Sorry," Takeshi struggled to maintain a civil expression as another excited shriek from across the room pierced his ears. "I've been feeling a bit under the weather."

"Perfectly understandable!" the lead host exclaimed. "Such a stimulating environment can often be overwhelming for our customers at first." He beckoned their newest member forward. "But, before I forget my manners, Haruhi-kun, this is Mitsukuni Haninozuka-sempai, Takashi Morinozuka-sempai and Takeshi Emiya-sempai, our third-year hosts! Honey-sempai, Mori-sempai, Emiya-sempai, this is Haruhi Fujioka-kun."

Haruhi's eyes widened as Haninozuka bounced over to him and grabbed at his hand. "This guy's a third-year?"

Takeshi's eyes flew over to Morinozuka. The other boy had been so quiet he'd forgotten he was even here. He winced as another spark of pain lanced through his head. Damnable migraine, just being here was hazardous to his health. "I'm just a guest here, visiting Haninozuka-kun as a favor," he clarified. He moved forward and extended his own hand politely.

Fujioka took his hand in greeting, and suddenly Takeshi's world flipped. The annoyance and quiet fury he'd been building up since he'd entered the room was suddenly blasted away, leaving him with a clarity and peace of mind he'd rarely enjoyed since his childhood. On the other hand, the headache that had been nursing suddenly flared up to unbearable levels. He clutched at his head with his free hand, almost bending over with the pain.

"Takeshi-kun!"

"Emiya-sempai!" Two voices cried out in surprise.

He felt a hand drop onto his shoulder and he lifted his head to stare into two wide eyes underneath a messy mop of hair. "Um, are you okay, sempai?" Haruhi asked.

"I'm fine," Takeshi replied automatically. "It's just a..." It's just a _what?_ His headache seemed to have grown again with the contact, his breath was coming in short gasps. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought he was...

Wait...

_...No._

He stepped backwards abruptly, breaking contact with the boy. "I'm sorry, I need to go now," he stammered. "To go... to the nurse's office." Not waiting for a reply, he half stumbled, half ran for the doorway. Once out the doors, away from prying eyes, he crossed hallway to the banister, vaulting over it and landing easily on the ground floor.

He had to get away. Get away from that den of evil. Even just a short hour in there and he was already infected by the perversion. Nothing else could explain why he had Reacted.

To another boy.

At least the distance from the room had seemed to alleviate his headache somewhat. Distance from the boy. From Haruhi Fujioka. He'd have to find a way to avoid him. Since they were two grades apart, he didn't have to worry about classes. He'd certainly have to avoid That Room in the future. Although there was another sense nagging him in the back of his head. Something about him...

Maybe he'd take a page from Ootori's – and Matsu-kaasan's – playbook. He whipped out his cellphone and hit the speed-dial. A few short rings later he connected with the person on the other end.

**ooo**

Matsu-kaasan certainly worked fast, much to Takeshi's gratitude. His step-mother had uploaded a near-complete dossier on Haruhi Fujioka to his computer shortly after he'd gotten off the phone with her. There were pages and pages of detail, but Takeshi couldn't take his eyes off the first section.

_Fujioka, Haruhi; Age: 15; Gender: Female_

_**Gender: Female**_

On one hand he could breathe a sigh of relief. He was reacting to a girl. On the other hand, he had a new problem. His potential Ashikabi was a crossdresser. He could have written off her appearance, she was clearly new to the school and may have not received her uniform. However, as part of the information included, Takeshi also had links to the girl's parents. At first glance from the pictures, she had two mothers. Not common, but not unusual either – he almost had two dozen, so he definitely wasn't qualified to make any judgements. Then he took a closer look at the 'alive' one, noticing that it was a picture of her _father_. That certainly put the family of his potential Ashikabi in a whole new light.

He slumped against the wall, dropping his tablet back into his school bag. "I am never going to live this one down," he moaned.


	51. Emiya Clan Misc: Ba Sing Se

_(a/n) – this would take place when Gekkou is oh... hm... 14 or 15. undecided if this will go into crack or canon._

_for those slightly confused by the sudden 'dimensional travel', there have been a few omakes where reiko or eiko (users of the 2nd Magic) accidentally warped reality when they were sick and... sneezing. it's mostly been crack snippets, but there comes a point where we can't simply continue saying A Wizard Did It... so this time. a GothLoli with a Cold Did It.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan Misc – Ba Sing Se<strong>

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><p>The road was dusty.<p>

Stone buildings lined the street, a uniform shade of grey broken by the occasional display of dark-green awnings or signs. The streets were almost completely devoid of pedestrians, the only movement from the foot soldiers marching in lockstep. Their weapons clanked against their black, polished armor, the sound an obvious warning for anybody in their path to drop whatever they were doing and vacate the area.

The soldiers marched past a short building lined with wooden shingles and a pair of green paper lanterns flanking the entryway. A moments later, a crackling, popping sound could be heard. Light flashed in the alleyway between the short building and its neighbor, and suddenly a glowing portal cracked open, dumping a young boy into the dirt. Soon after, the portal snapped back out of existence with another sharp crack.

The blonde boy quickly rolled back to his feet, brushing at the dust coating his previously pristine black jacket and slacks. "That sister of mine..." Gekkou Emiya growled. "Just as we finally get Eiko-nee to stop accidentally ripping portals to Root-knows-where, suddenly Reiko has to start up that infernal sneezing herself!" The water user looked around to take in his surroundings. "So, where am I this time...?"

"You there!" The loud noises had apparently attracted the attention of the soldiers, who had quickly backtracked to the alley only to find this sudden stranger. "Identify yourself and state your business!"

Gekkou frowned. After the first few times a family member had been dumped into an alternate reality, the Clan had quickly draw up several rules for dealing with out-of-universe visitors, or being one themselves. Number three on that list had been: _Don't immediately attack the first authority figure you come across, they might be nice._ The first addendum to that rule, of course, had been: _...But don't trust them either, they could be working for the Evil Overlord._

He tried to adopt a neutral expression and tone. "My apologies, officer. I stepped outside to fix something and accidentally broke it." He lowered his head, though it pained him to do so, to present a submissive behavior. While they couldn't see his eyes, he frantically looked around for a piece of wood, or pottery, or _something_ that he could use to back up his claim.

The leader apparently didn't buy it. Or these were the type of guards that rule 3-A had been created for. He stepped forward menacingly and raised a spear. "I think you were trying to hide from us. That means you've got a guilty conscience."

_Definitely bad guys._ Gekkou sighed and surreptitiously began the process of collecting enough moisture behind his back to power a Water Blade. His water collection abilities had always been dismal compared to Tsukiumi-kaasan's, but he could manipulate it just as well as she could, if not better. As long as these jokers didn't try to force the issue for another... thirty seconds he should be fine.

Just as the soldiers behind their leader began their own approach, a side door to the building suddenly slammed open and a young girl in heavy green robes leaned out of the doorway. "You!" she shouted, pointing at Gekkou. "Don't think you can escape out here after making such a mess in the kitchen!"

Gekkou spluttered, "Wait, what?"

Taking no notice of the stuttering reply, the girl turned towards the foot soldiers and bowed. "I apologize, sirs, for this stupid employee. He accidentally broke one of the teapots and tried to flee the scene. Thank you for your help in cornering him, but we can deal with him ourselves." Without giving time for either party to process her statement, she grabbed at Gekkou's hand and yanked him inside, slamming the door shut as she did so.

"What are you doing?" Gekkou hissed, only for the girl to press her hand over his mouth.

"Ssh!" She quickly pulled him out of the way, pressing the side of her head to the door and listening outside. After a few moments of low conversation Gekkou couldn't understand, he heard the clanking of metal as the soldiers apparently continued on their way. Seemingly satisfied, the girl released the blonde and slumped against the door. "That was close."

Gekkou frowned and ran a sleeve over his mouth, only to sputter as he coughed up more dust from the garment. "Thanks, I think," he said.

"Not a problem," the girl said. She glared in the direction of the alleyway, "That was pretty foolish of you, to provoke the Fire Nation soldiers out there. Especially since their takeover was almost completely unopposed, a lot of them have been itching for an excuse to knock us around."

_Rule 2: If you're lost, get as much info as you can to help you get home._

_Rule 2a: Sometimes it's worth showing off to the locals to prove your story._

"Ah," Gekkou said. "So they're the bad guys."

"Of course they are!" The girl threw an exasperated glance at him, then looked at him more closely. "That's an unusual hair-color, by the way. Where are you from?"

"Um, not around here, I think. I'm not sure you'd believe me if I did say where I was from." Gekkou dusted off his sleeves some more, then sighed and used the water he'd been collecting to simply douse himself, washing away all the dirt. Once his clothes were completely clean, he drew the water back out and instantly dried himself off. "Tada~"

He was expecting a sudden outburst of surprise, a chorus of questions, like 'what was that?' or 'how did you do that?'. He certainly wasn't expecting the girl to simply blink and 'ah' as if in understanding. "You're a waterbender, no wonder you were trying to hide from them."

"I'm a what?" Gekkou blinked. "No, this isn't waterbending, or whatever you called it. This is _magic_." He straightened to his full height proudly. "My name is Gekkou Emiya, from Shin-Tokyo, Japan. I've been displaced through space-time and am currently lost. If you know anybody who has experience with dimensional travel, I'd appreciate it if you introduced me so I can head home as quickly as possible."

The girl said nothing and simply leaned forward to press her forehead against his own, he backed away with another sputter and flailing arms. She crossed her arms and tilted her head in confusion. "Strange, you don't seem to be feverish. But that's a very remarkable story... and a very strange name." She held out her hand in greeting. "Hello, Gekkou. My name's Jin."

Gekkou cautiously took the hand and shook it. "So, where am I?"

Jin smiled easily and waved her hand around the interior of the building. "This is the Pao Family's Tea House." She pointed at the quivering man hiding behind the far counter. "That guy's Pao, I'm just one of the regular customers here."

"But _where_ is this, also why did you help me?" the blonde pressed.

"You're in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se, capital of the Earth Kingdom," Jin said, clearly humoring him. "In case you were wondering, Fire Nation soldiers in an Earth Kingdom city is definitely bad news, since they are – as you put it – _the bad guys._ As for why I helped you..." She suddenly lost her smile, looking downcast. "I had... a friend. He used to work here. He used to be in a traveling circus I think, but then he got burned by a firebender and had to hide here. I haven't seen him since the Fire Nation invaded." She lowered her head slightly, "I hope he's still okay..."

Gekkou mulled that over while she recovered her composure. "Thanks, for saving me from the soldiers then." He narrowed his eyes and held up a hand, summoning a small ball of water to float over it. "So... you called me a waterbender because I can do this. You mentioned firebenders? They can do the same?"

"I think so. I haven't really seen many many of them personally, but we've got a lot of earthbenders around in the capital," Jin replied. She tilted her head in confusion, "It's weird, though. I've never heard of a waterbender who didn't need water around. And you also just... did it, without any of the movements."

"Movements?"

"Well, earthbenders are all like, _rahhh!_" Jin went through a series of stiff, solid movements, stomping at the ground and pretending to throw out heavy punches. "While I've always heard waterbenders are all like, _whoosh!_" She flailed her arms around in flowing, circular motions. "I've never seen a firebender in action before though. And the airbenders are all gone; but anyhow, you're the first bender I've seen who doesn't dance around like that."

"That's because I'm not a 'bender'," Gekkou insisted.

"Of course you're not," Jin nodded knowingly and winked. "We'd never sell out a fellow refugee to the Fire Nation. Your secret is safe with us."

Gekkou groaned and clutched at his head.


	52. Emiya Clan Misc: Karakura

(a/n) – to further the (R)eiko!sneeze meme, here is an expansion of an idea as seen from (pg28, #1374). this is crack. it's filled with such crack, you can go to jail for possession by reading this.

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan Misc – Karakura<strong>

* * *

><p>It was over. There was no way they could defeat this monstrosity.<p>

Soi-Fon panted, her energy spent. This Arrancar, this self-proclaimed King of Hueco Mundo, had taken her most powerful attacks – twice – and still had emerged ready to continue battle. The Visored who had come to assist her was similarly drained, doing his best to avoid the abomination's _Respira _attack. Hachigen was moving as fast as his body would allow, throwing up Kidou barriers in an attempt to maintain his distance. Despite this, the strongest barriers he had dissolved in mere seconds, and the large man was barely keeping ahead of the _Espada_. It was also clear Baraggan was not moving at his full speed either; he was toying with them, the Second Division Captain realized in dismay.

Suddenly, there was a loud crackling sound, as if a hole was being ripped through reality. Soi-Fon's head shot up just several things happened in quick succession. First, a relatively tiny figure burst out of the tear and body-checked the skeletal Arrancar into a nearby building. She was shocked beyond belief when the figure rebounded and landed safely on another roof, appearing completely unfazed by the monster's powers of Death and Decay. The second was an equally monstrous face appearing in the void. Demonic glowing eyes and a toothy smile flashed into existence. A low growl filled the air, unintelligible yet somehow promising monstrous amounts of pain.

The third thing was that except for a surprised exclamation when he'd been checked, Baraggan had fallen completely silent. He looked – as much as a bony skull could – to be completely terrified.

Soi-Fon turned her attention to the figure waiting patiently across the roof and had to blink her eyes. Grey haired, he appeared to be a young man in his mid twenties, although his bearing and poise suggested a much older age. He was dressed in a fashionable blouse and slacks combination that almost seemed effeminate, an appearance that was supported by the soft expression on his face. He looked rather sad, almost disappointed towards his opponent.

The King of Hueco Mundo's voice took on a shrill tone. **"Shiina!"** he shrieked.

"Barry," Shiina answered softly.

Soi-Fon blinked again. _Barry?_

"Your mother is disappointed in you," the Reaper Sekirei continued.

**"Baaaarryyyyy..."** the voice boomed from the portal. Soi-Fon blinked again as another figure dropped from the sky, carefully caught by the grey-haired man before she hit the rooftop. A relatively tiny black-haired woman stalked forward to the rooftop, then pulled off one of her shoes and threw it at the skull-faced monster. "What the _hell_ did you do to yourself?" she shouted.

Soi-Fon wondered if she'd hit her head harder than she had thought as she watched the _Segundo Espada_ squeal and scramble backwards against along his building's roof, tucking himself into a fetal ball.

Shiina had to keep a firm grasp on the woman, seeing as she looked like she was just a few moments away from leaping across the roof and strangling the arrancar. "Yukari, Dear, please try to remain calm."

Yukari broke free with one arm and raised her fist menacingly, "You disappear while visiting onii-chan's place, no warning, no messages! We had to hear what happened from Miya-san! What happened?"

Baraggan broke down into a blubbering mess, saying something about 'sneezing girls' and 'time travel' and 'lost'. **"But, but I became a **_**King,**_** mother! A KING!"**

Yukari bounced another shoe off the crown of his skull. A black aura seemed to manifest itself around her head, displaying the same glowing eyes and slasher smile Soi-Fon had seen in the portal earlier. The face leered down at the Arrancar menacingly. **"You. Come home. **_**NOW.**_**"**

Baraggan squeaked and dropped his _Resurrección_ form, leaving an old man in his place. His mother shrieked in renewed outrage at his appearance. Shiina quickly beckoned towards the still open portal, and Soi-Fon watched as another ash-haired woman, dressed in black and silver platemail, dropped from it to the roof.

Shiina turned towards the newcomer, "Eiko-san, can you please take Barry home via another portal? I'll take care of Yukari through this one. I think she'll do something she'll regret later if we all go together."

Yukari fought tooth and nail, trying to escape her husband's grasp and throttle her wayward son. **"We're going to have **_**words**_** when we get back, boy! And I'm going to ask Miya-san to **_**help!**_**"**

Baraggan dissolved into a blubbering mess, barely noticing as Eiko opened up a new portal and gently led him through it. As the portal snapped closed, Shiina finally turned to address the remaining Gotei 13 and Espada staring dumbfounded at the scene. He bowed low in apology, "Sorry for the trouble our son has caused. Please feel free to continue what you were doing." With that, he gathered his fuming wife in his arms and leapt up towards the sky, the portal snapping closed behind him as they passed through it.

After another few moments of silence, all eyes turned towards the trio of white-clad former-shinigami standing away from the battles. Aizen suddenly blinked and reached up as if to adjust glasses that were no longer there.

"Well, um.." he said, clearly flustered. "I, ah, I anticipated all of this, of course."

Soi-Fon suddenly lost strength in her legs, toppling forward to plant her face into the concrete beneath her. At Aizen's side, Gin and Tousen slammed their own faces into upraised palms.

* * *

><p><em>(an cont.) – i've asked the people on the forums, and now i ask you (though it'd be easier if you also replied on the forums so i don't have to check back and forth in too many places). we've had omakes for Ouran, Avatar, and Bleach._

_3 choices, let me know which one you'd like me to _focus_ on. actually, don't make me do bleach. i'll void any votes. so you have 2 choices._

_as always you can visit the Emiya Clan thread: (forum. fanfiction. net/ topic/ 88086/ 42932494/ 1/) here_


	53. F:SD 15

**Fate/School Days – 15**

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><p>Keiko stared up at the bulletin board and raised an eyebrow. "Huh, they shuffled the classes."<p>

"Really?" Karin pushed her way through the crowd to get a better look. "Where am I...? Where am I... oh, there! Looks like I'm with you in 2-2, _aisai!_" She threw a coy look over her shoulder.

Keiko flicked her sister across the nose, causing Karin to bring up her hands reflexively. "Do _not_ call me that at school," she growled. "Where are the others?"

"I'm in class 2-4, still," Sakuya said as she walked up. "Not many of us changed, unfortunately." She said the last line with a disappointed sniff as she pointedly looked at a cheerful group of boys across the hall.

"What about 'Yuki?" Karin asked. She looked around and found their last sister staring at the board with a look of disquiet on her face.

"I am... still in 2-1," Koyuki said worriedly. "But all by myself..."

Sakuya shrugged, "You'll live." She scanned the list for class one, "Uh... but then again..."

"Koyuki-chan!" an excited voice suddenly rose above the noise of the crowd.

Koyuki flinched, "You were saying?"

Kaori shoved past a few other idling students and stepped in front of the four Emiyas. She had a radiant expression on her face and was almost bouncing in her excitement. "Koyuki-chan! We're in the same class! This is so exciting!" the bubbling girl cried out.

Behind her, Karin was almost bent over in laughter while Keiko gave her an arch look.

"I mean, I remembered what you told me at the beginning of last year, so I asked the teachers. I'm so happy they all listened to my petitions!"

Keiko had never before had a chance to witness the 'deer-in-headlights' expression, but looking at Koyuki, she was sure she was seeing it now.

Sakuya nudged her sister in the side, "See? It wont be so bad after all, Koyuki. **After all you'll have a very close friend to look after you!**" Her smile wavered slightly as Koyuki shot her a betrayed look.

"Oh, I do hope Sensei also got my other petition; I hope we also get seats next to each other!"

**ooo**

Keiko watched as Karin looked around the room in satisfaction.

"Nameless Minion #1 isn't around," the hacker was saying happily. "This time is my _chance!_"

"Kaneda-kun is still here," Keiko pointed out, referencing the previous year's Class Representative. "And a majority of the previous year's students are still here too."

"Details, details," her sister brushed aside the argument with a wave of her hand. She looked around eagerly, taking in her new classmates with a critical eye.

As the remaining students filed in and took up random desks, their new homeroom teacher made his way through the door. A stern, distinguished looking man, he caught sight of Karin sitting at her desk with a smile on her face and let out a resigned sigh. Several students nervously looked her way as if they'd suddenly noticed the presence of the notorious girl.

"Alright, class, I'm sure you all know each other and you all know me," Sensei said bluntly. "I guess we'll start with a vote to confirm the Class Representative. Kaneda-kun? I assume you'd like to resume your position?"

_"Hai, Sensei"_ the boy replied.

"Does anybody else want to run or nominate another student?"

Karin's hand immediately shot up. Several students nearby immediately grew more nervous.

"Denied," Sensei said gruffly.

_"What?"_ Karin half rose out of her seat with her exclamation.

"Emiya-san, I have here a letter from your previous teacher–"

"Why that..."

"...and all of your teachers running back to _grade school_ making recommendations to not put you into any position of responsibility. I don't think I need to stress just how _unusual_ this request is." Sensei crossed his arms and glared at her. "I don't suppose you'd like to let your Sensei know just why they felt they needed to make such a recommendation?"

"I invoke Article 38," Karin said quickly.

"Well, I guess you get points for knowing our Constitution," Sensei rumbled. "Too bad we're not there yet. Anyhow, does anybody other than Kaneda-kun wish to run for the position?"

Karin fumed in her seat while it was Keiko's turn to disguise her own laughter.

**ooo**

"So shall we confirm the Class Representative?" the teacher for 2-4 looked around. Several of the students looked at Sakuya out of the corner of their eyes, but she simply smiled benignly.

One of the boys gulped nervously and raised his hand. "I'll continue," he said shakily.

Not even bothering to look up, Sensei made a tick on his clipboard. "Alright, now that we've gotten past that, here's a brief reminder of the rules for this class..."

Sitting at her desk, Sakuya steepled her fingers and lowered her head to hide her satisfied smirk. Silly Karin, trying too hard to take the lead for simple reasons, alienating almost everybody around her in the process. It was so much more fun to install a puppet and be the literal shadow behind the throne...

The nearby students paled as a soft chuckling filled the room. The remaining people, Class 2-4's Sensei included, were as oblivious as usual as he continue to lay down the ground rules in a bored tone.

**ooo**

To those in Class 2-1, Koyuki sat stiffly at her desk with a bored-looking expression on her face. Those who knew her best would have been able to see the minute trembling in her arms, or the subtle, tight creases along her eyes. Those, plus the healthy-looking color in her normally pale complexion would have been warning lights to her family regarding her fragile state of mind, of her extreme nervousness. Unfortunately, none of those people were currently present.

She paid just enough attention to the class to be able to make out what everybody was saying, but she remained oblivious to most of the looks some of the newcomers to the class were giving her. Fortunately, there were plenty of students who had remained from the previous year, so they were used to her relative silence and didn't call attention to it.

When the bell for lunch finally rang, she had her bento in hand and was out the door before the reverberations had even died down. As she made her way to the cafeteria and the table her sisters shared, she finally unwound her overly tense body, letting her anxiety flow away from her. It didn't vanish completely, however, as she knew that once this grace period was over, she would have to go back to being all by herself. Day after day.

This was going to be a long year.

* * *

><p><em>(an) – mostly killing time and adding some more (retroactive) character building while i try to think up of storyline_


	54. EC: Ouran 02

_(a/n) – so, the votes were pretty close. actually completely dead even..._

_so i flipped a coin. best out of 3 at least.  
><em>

_sorry avatar people! i'll still do the avatar snippets if a random idea comes to me that i absolutely have to put down, but like i said i will be **focusing** on ouran, and not actively thinking up story ideas for the avatar snippets. once ouran is done i might switch over._

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Ouran 02<strong>

* * *

><p>Takeshi moved through the halls with a purposeful stride. He paid no attention to the first year students throwing confused glances at him, nor to the increasingly levels of conversation that erupted in his wake.<p>

Turning into a doorway, he scanned the room briefly, but found no trace of his quarry. He caught the attention of a boy with glasses, "Excuse me."

"Yes, Sempai?" first year asked.

"I'm looking for Haruhi Fujioka," Takeshi replied. "Do you know where sh–he might be?"

"Fujioka-kun?" Kazukiyo Souga blinked thoughtfully. "I believe he left with the Hitachiin twins once class was over. Did you want me to pass along a message?"

"Thank you, but I can find him with that," Takeshi said. He quickly leaned back out of the door and retraced his path to the main building.

As he marched down the hallway, his mind flashed back to the extremely unhelpful conversation between himself and his parents.

**ooo**

"There's no reason to refuse your Ashikabi just because you think you don't like them," Father had said. "If you weren't compatible, they wouldn't have triggered a Reaction in the first place."

"At the same time, you shouldn't force yourself on the young lady," Kaa-san had warned him. "Doing such a thing would be highly improper... I hope you'll at least try to discuss the matter with her and try to make her understand your position."

"But I can't break the masquerade," he had protested. "The more people who know about us, the more dangerous it becomes for us. You told us that, Father."

"I did," Shirou had admitted. "But I think you're smart enough to know just how much is safe to divulge. Once you've explained everything, hopefully it will all work out. If it doesn't even after that... then we'll review our options. I've never actually tried to use Rule Breaker on a Sekirei and I'd rather not start experimenting on one of my children if I don't have to."

"So then what can I do?"

"Try to ignore it through sheer force of will?" Miya-kaasan had suggested. "Although the fact that you Reacted at first contact with her is troubling, from all appearances the girl is not magical at all, so hopefully it won't be too severe. Unless Dear's research has been completely useless..."

"What?" Father had spluttered. "I'll have you know I spent a lot of time collating what little data we had on that subject."

"Yes..." Miya-kaasan had said with an odd note to her voice. "I know my dear Husband has put a great deal of effort into it. And I believe he should take a break and think _long_ and_ hard_ about other _important _matters."

"Oh?" Father had lifted an eyebrow. "And what might those be?" he had asked as he leaned in towards Miya.

Takeshi had quickly vacated the room after that, fortunately missing his Mother's reply.

**ooo**

After bracing himself mentally, Takeshi pulled open the door to the Third Music room.

"Welcome, Takeshi Emiya-sempai," Ootori smiled ingratiatingly from behind his clipboard. "Honey-sempai is occupied with his duties at the moment, but I can let him know you're here looking for him."

"Actually, Ootori-kun, I was looking for Fujioka-_san._" Takeshi emphasized the honorific slightly, and he watched as the second year's eyes narrowed slightly behind his glasses.

"Walk with me, if you would Emiya-sempai," Ootori beckoned him forward, then turned to walk the perimeter of the room as Takeshi followed. "I assume from your wording that you are concerned for Haruhi-_kun_?" he said in a low tone.

Takeshi grimaced beneath the polite mask he held over his face. "I know Fujioka-san is a female, Ootori-kun," he said blunt, though equally quiet tone.

"I admit I'm surprised," the black-haired student said. "The signs are not obvious, had I not looked up her previous school's records when she was first admitted I might have been caught off guard as well." They came across one of their customers staring at a sculpture and his voice rose in volume. "Minoan pottery, on loan from the Mediterranean Fine-Arts gallery." The girl looked up in surprise, then swooned as Ootori gave her a winning smile. "If you'd like, I'm sure Tamaki would be more than happy to tell you all about it. He has some very fascinating insights on the culture as a whole."

"I think I will, thank you!" the girl flushed as she looked over towards the King of the Host Club's table.

Ootori scribbled a small note onto his board and nodded at her. "You'll be his next customer then, Honda-san. I'll be sure to make the necessary arrangements."

"Thank you!" she waved.

"Where was I?" Ootori's voice and smile dropped as he continued pacing the room. "Oh yes. Well, If you can, Sempai, I'd appreciate it if you kept quiet about this arrangement for now. Haruhi-kun unfortunately did accumulate a rather large debt for the pottery she destroyed, although Tamaki has allowed her to pay it off through her labors."

"What sort of jobs are we talking about here?" Takeshi scanned the room, but didn't see anybody running around, doing errands or maintenance on the furniture. In fact, he couldn't see his potential Ashikabi at all, though his headache told him she was definitely present somewhere.

"I believe the phrase '_she cleans up nicely'_ would be most appropriate here," Ootori was saying. "It was Tamaki's idea to have her work off as a Host herself. If she manages to have up to one-hundred customers call upon her as their designated host, her debt will be considered cleared."

"As a wha– You can't be serious?" Takeshi looked around some more. "Where is she?"

"Third table from the left, I believe her own classmates have designated her today."

Takeshi mentally counted off the tables, then blinked as he saw a rather attractive-looking boy seated there surrounded by a trio of giggling first years. He did a double-take, "_That's_ her? She's in a boy's uniform!"

"Indeed," Ootori made his own review of the various tables and scribbled another note onto his clipboard. "As you can see, if Haruhi-kun is to have any chance of clearing this debt, it requires that the student body as a whole does not realize she is a female student."

"How much is it?" Takeshi spun around.

"Roughly eight-million yen," Ootori said without even checking his board.

Takeshi blanched, "That much?" He shook his head and narrowed his eyes at the Club's Second in Command. "I'll pay it off for her, let her go."

Ootori lifted an eyebrow. Rich as the students at Ouran were, even that amount was nothing to simply throw away casually. "I believe that would a decision best left up to Haruhi-kun herself." He decided not to give into his curiosity regarding the Emiya family's financial situation – at least not at the moment. He checked his watch, then the schedule on his clipboard, "She should be done with her current customers shortly. I'll let her know you want to speak with her."

He turned to head back for the entrance, then paused and glanced over his shoulder. "Emiya-sempai, I ask you again not to divulge this information to anybody else, _especially _Tamaki." His smile suddenly seemed genuine, if rather dark. "I'm rather curious to see how long it will take him to figure it out."

**ooo**

"Emiya-sempai?"

Takeshi kept his head down for a moment. He'd let himself zone out from the world, meditating lightly to gather his mental strength in preparation for ignoring his headache 'through sheer force of will' as his Mother had suggested. The increased buzzing in his head and that apologetic voice let him know exactly who was asking for him, so he lifted his head and stared into the wide, brown eyes of his potential Ashikabi.

"Kyouya-sempai suggested you wanted to ask me something," the cross-dressing girl prompted.

"Ah, yes," Takeshi swallowed to bring some moisture back into his suddenly dry mouth. "Fujioka-san, I just wanted to tell you first: I know who you really are. I also wanted to ask if you were happy doing this."

"Hm?" Fujioka blinked in surprise. "Thanks, I guess. As for... well, this," she waved at her uniform. "I don't really mind, I guess. It's a pretty ingenious plan, everybody was really nice to give me this chance to pay it off."

"Would you rather go to classes as your true self, though?" Takeshi asked. "If it's just the debt, I can ask my family to help you out there. You wouldn't have to do this."

"Oh no!" she waved her hands in front of her. "No, I couldn't possibly ask you to do that for me. It was my own clumsiness which got me into this trouble. I should be the one to work it out."

She hadn't even asked him why he'd offered. Her first thought had been to make sure nobody else would suffer for her own mistakes. The thought both warmed him, and also increased the intensity of his headache. He squeezed his eyes shut and ruthlessly squashed the feeling down as best as he could. "I see," he said, opening his eyes again. He was startled to find her leaning forward, peering into his face closely.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "You looked a bit like that yesterday, just before you had to go to the nurse's office." She lifted a hand to his forehead, "You're not having a relapse, are you?"

"I'm fine!" he said quickly, leaning back out of her reach. He ducked his head in apology as she lowered her hand with a confused expression. "I'll be fine," he reassured her. "I'm sorry, but can I ask another request from you?"

"You just did, but I'll give you another," she said with an easy smile. He winced again as another spike of pain shot through his head.

"It's kind of unusual, so I apologize," Takeshi said. "But I do have... a condition. It is recurring for the time being, so I'd appreciate it if you could keep quiet about it."

"That's fine, I guess I have a few things I have to keep quiet about too. One more thing wouldn't hurt." She leaned forward again, "Is that it?"

"Well, no," he admitted. "I think you can help with resolving this... condition. It just involves you and I..."

"Mhmm?" she tilted her head questioningly, her eyes showing nothing but trust.

"You... well... do... to me..." oh, how the hell could he possibly explain this? He knew what Matsu-kaasan and Kazehana-kaasan would tell him, but that just wasn't _proper!_

"Do what?" she asked.

He hung his head, "Would you like to be friends?"

"Huh? Sure, why didn't you just say so?" Haruhi said brightly. "Does this mean you'll be joining the Host Club too?"

He twitched. On one hand, he really needed to stay away from her until he could find away to resolve this Reaction. On the other hand, if he joined he'd have a much higher chance of getting to know his potential Ashikabi, especially since she was disinclined to leave it.

"I... suppose," he said with wry grin. "If only to keep Haninozuka-kun from bugging me every day."

"That's great!" she said. "Although if you're going to be working with us, you probably shouldn't be too formal with your fellow club-members. Can I call you Takeshi-sempai, then?"

He twitched again, "That's alright, Fujioka-san."

"No, no," she shook a finger admonishingly. "Still too formal. Try 'Haruhi'."

"Haruhi... san."

"I guess that'll work." She beamed at him, which both set his heart fluttering and his headache pounding once again, and extended a hand. "Let's work hard together, Takeshi-sempai."

He stared at her hand for a few moments, then slowly grasped it, trying valiantly to ignore the sudden explosion in his head. He fought the urge to pull her into him and smash her lips against his, instead he just smiled grimly. "It'll be my pleasure, Haruhi-san."

**ooo**

He woke up in the nurse's office again. He dimly recalled Fujioka – no – _Haruhi-san _announcing his decision to the rest of the club members. Ootori-kun had looked at him with a subtle smirk, while Haninozuka-kun and Suoh-kun had both tackle-glomped him to the floor. His headache had flared at that moment, and he didn't remember much else after that.

He quickly rolled out of the comfortable bed – even a nurse's office at Ouran was far too classy to merely have a simple cot – and gathered his jacket and school supplies a thoughtful student had left there. Once he had finished getting dressed, he checked the time and let himself out. It was well after hours, though from the time on his watch it seemed the Host Club was still in session. The rest of the corridors were almost completely deserted, the echoes from his footsteps reverberating through the halls.

In the peaceful quiet, he suddenly heard a splashing sound coming from outside. He stepped over to a window and frowned. Two floors down, from the hallways where the first-years had their classrooms, he saw a female student upending a school bag into a nearby fountain. He pulled out his cellphone and flicked it over to camera mode. One of Matsu-kaasan's designs, it functioned almost as well as a high-end digital camera.

He zoomed in on the figure and his frown deepened. It appeared to be one of his classmates, Ayanokouji-san if he wasn't mistaken. He suddenly recalled she had been in the Host Club while he had been visiting, being tended to by a Suoh-kun who was obviously distracted by how Haruhi-san was faring at her first day on the job. Confused but too far away to do anything else, Takeshi snapped several pictures of the furious girl as she finished throwing everything into the fountain and stormed away. He thought for a moment, then flipped through his phone's address book for a new number he'd recently added.

There was a few moments while he connected. "Ah, Ootori-kun? ... Yes, I'm sorry, _Kyouya-kun?_ I just had a question about one of your customers..."


	55. EC: Ouran 03

**Emiya Clan – Ouran 03**

* * *

><p>There was a crash, the sound of a table being knocked over and shattering ceramics accompanied by a womanly shriek. Heads all across the room turned to stare at the sight of a girl flat on her back, the blue uniform of a male student stretched over her body. To the casual passerby, what was happening was clearly obvious, supported when the female student's cries became coherent.<p>

"Help! Haruhi-kun suddenly attacked me!" Ayanokouji was shouting. "Please save me from this peasant studen–"

There was a sudden splash as Hikaru and Kaoru, returning from fetching drinks for their own customers, upended the contents of their tray on the hysterical woman.

""Oops~"" they drawled simultaneously. ""Sorry, our hands just _slipped_.""

The irate third year gaped in shock, her mouth bobbing in place as she sputtered. "Wha..what?" She paused as a shadow fell across her, looking up at the King of the Host Club reached down to gracefully pull her to her feet. "Tamaki-sama!" she pleaded as her eyes turned to glare at the club's newest host. "Tamaki-sama, please punish that filthy commoner for–"

"How disgraceful," Tamaki cut her off, his voice reproachful, but no less warm. "To think you were the one vandalizing Haruhi-kun's school supplies."

"How could you say such a thing?" Her voice took a shrill edge. "What proof could you possibly–?"

Kyouya walked up with a series of photographs, each showing a female student hurling the contents of a bag into the fountain, each with Ayanokouji's face clearly displayed. "Please, do not underestimate my intelligence networks," he said loftily. "Of course, this is not the only concrete evidence we possess."

"This person is so scary," Honey said sadly.

"She is ugly on the inside," Mori added.

The Hitachiin twins simply stuck out their tongues at her.

"It's such a sad situation," Tamaki was saying at the shocked student, "when a person's outer beauty does not match their personality. I'm terribly sorry, but I must ask you leave. We cannot have a customer who behaves so rudely to one of our members."

"Stu... Stupid Tamaki-sama!" she wailed as she fled from the room.

Honey and Mori went back to their customers, Hikaru threw a towel over Haruhi while Kaoru went in search of more drinks for their own group, Tamaki bent down to help Haruhi gather her spilled possessions, and Kyouya smiled as he collapsed the fan of photographs back into a neat stack and pocketed them. He turned to the student shadowing him. "I'm sorry you had to witness that, Emiya-sempai," he said. "I hope this did not make you reconsider your decision."

"Not at all," Takeshi said with a smile of his own. "If anything, it has strengthened my resolve."

"That is good to hear," the Shadow King replied. He turned to the side and his grin – while not increasing in size any – took on a more authentic appearance as Tamaki picked up a small wallet from the ground. "I'm sure once Tamaki gets over his shock, he'll be happy to show you the ropes."

"His shock? What do you..." Takeshi followed his gaze and watched the blonde freeze in place as he read the contents of Haruhi's school ID. "Oh..."

Kyouya checked his watch and smirked. "That took him longer than even I would have guessed."

**ooo**

Takeshi leaned back into his seat as he finished explaining his situation to his parents.

The adults sitting on the other side of the table stared at him in silence for a few moments.

"I'm sorry," Shirou said, blinking. "Did you just say you went and joined..."

"I did," Takeshi interrupted.

"...And that you will be serving..."

"I will."

"And you _still_ have not managed to..."

"I did not."

Shirou sighed and reached up to massage his temples while Miya arched an eyebrow. "This wasn't exactly what I meant when I said you should try to understand your Ashikabi, Takeshi."

"I'm sorry, Mother."

On Shirou's other side, Homura leaned back and crossed her arms. "Well, I'm beginning to understand why you asked me to be here for this. At the same time, while the general idea is the same, I'm almost certain a school-run club differs greatly from my experiences."

"Even getting to the point of minor differences is probably more than I am capable of," Takeshi admitted. "No offence to you, Mother, but my upbringing has not exactly prepared me for a situation like this."

"Something I am exceedingly proud for," Miya said stiffly.

"Show me how you'd try to operate," Homura suggested. "Maybe it's not as bad as you think, you might be able to pull it off."

Takeshi stared at them. "...On you?"

"Would you rather do it to your own mother?"

"Ah, good point." Takeshi frowned and closed his eyes briefly. The brief moment stretched out into seconds, then minutes as his brow furrowed and he broke into sweats. "I can't do it," he finally said. "They're just... too horrible."

"Eh, try, at least show me what they normally do."

"You asked for it..." Takeshi closed his eyes again as he searched his memories. Finally he opened them and a light seemed to sparkle in his eyes as his mouth curled into a soft grin. "My lady," he said loftily, leaning in towards the Flame Sekirei and grabbed at her hands. "This one's heart burns, this passion is set aflame just for this brief chance for my unworthy self to be under your adoring gaze."

Homura and Shirou's eyes both started twitching, while Miya hid her face behind the sleeve of her kimono. "What... was _that?_" Homura asked.

The door to the room shuddered briefly and muffled laughter could be heard behind it. Takeshi dropped his step-mother's hands and lowered his head. "It's what I would imagine Suoh-kun would say if he ever met you."

Shirou walked silently to the door and yanked it open, letting Kazehana and Uzume spill through as they suddenly lost balance. Even as they yelped in surprise, Kazehana was still laughing uncontrollably.

Shirou shook his head and sighed as he waved them through, then closed the door behind them and walked back to the couch.

"That's just a _little bit _different from what I might have used on my customers, back in the day," Homura said carefully.

"I don't know," Kazehana said with a giggle, "It sounds perfectly charming to me. I think I'd like to meet that boy someday."

"Takeshi," Miya said, lowering her sleeve. "Please tell me your Ashikabi is not spouting such nonsense in the course of her duties."

"Fortunately, no," Takeshi said with obvious relief. "Considering the whole club is just that – a club – rather than each host competing with each other for customers, it seems they have it set up for specific personality types." He opened a hand and began to tick off points as Kazehana and Uzume found seats for themselves.

**ooo**

"Takeshi-sempai!" Tamaki had a nervous smile on his face. "I'd welcome you to the club with more pomp and circumstance but there is a small matter I need to attend to..."

"I already know about Haruhi-san, Suoh-kun," Takeshi said. "That's actually part of the reason I'm here, to give her some more support."

"Ah, well... then it is absolutely wonderful you are here! Haruhi could always use another commoner like yourself, even if you are several years apart."

Takeshi's eyes twitched slightly.

_Suoh-kun calls himself the 'Princely-type', that sort of shameless flattery combined with his upper-class etiquette. He's actually the most popular host for that reason, which is why I used him as an example._

...

"Emiya-sempai, thank you again for your role in resolving this recent unpleasantness." Kyouya adjusted his glasses briefly. "I'd like to continue this partnership for similar matters in the future, if I am able."

Takeshi smiled back at him, "If it's for the sake of maintaining order, I'll be more than happy to help you in any way I can."

"Since you have mentioned it, we always aim to improve our clients' experiences. So if you or your family can assist us in any way, I would greatly appreciate it."

Takeshi's smile became somewhat brittle at the subtle digging into his family history.

_Ootori-kun is considered the 'Cool-type', he's completely civil to customers and polite to a fault, always helpful. But he's also amazingly perceptive, subtly manipulating and encouraging them to designate certain hosts or engage in paid club activities. Considering he seems to be managing the club's finances, that last behavior is probably not too surprising._

...

"Takeshi-kun! You're here! You're here!" A bright bundle of energy bounce across the room and glomped onto Takeshi, who pried him off shortly and handed him to the stoic boy following him.

"Yes, Haninozuka-kun," you have succeeded beyond your wildest dreams," Takeshi said drolly.

"Mouu~ Takeshi-kun, we're partners now! You have to call me 'Honey', ne?"

"...yes, Hani-kun."

"Close enough!"

_Haninozuka-kun and Morinozuka-kun seem to be a paired set. 'Honey-kun' is considered a 'Loli-Shota-type', for obvious reasons I believe. Morinozuka-kun is a foil to Honey's exuberance, called the 'Wild-type' because he often reacts instinctually to most events. He's generally quiet, but fiercely protective of Honey._

...

"So~" a redhead drawled as he slid into view from Takeshi's right.

"You're the mysterious student Honey-sempai kept talking about last year," a second, identical redhead said from his left.

Takeshi shuddered. No thanks to his family, he possessed more than his share of _bad_ memories of mischievous redheads. "I have no idea what Hani-kun may have been saying, but you might be right," he said neutrally.

"So, Kaoru," said one of them. "I've been wondering–"

"I have been too, Hikaru," said the other. "After all, he resembles Kyouya-sempai quite a bit..."

""Do we have another polite-looking member hiding a demonic face?"" the two asked in tandem, whipping their heads around to stare at Takeshi.

Across the room, eating his sweets in peace, Hani dropped his fork and shivered as a sudden chill ran up his spine. Takeshi simply smiled and didn't answer.

_There are two Hitachiin brothers, identical twins. They're the 'Brotherly Love' type, and are quite possibly the second-highest popular group. They don't so much flirt with their customers as much as they flirt with each other, one acting as the _seme _and the other the _uke_. I'm honestly not sure which is which, and for all I know, they're trading off positions._

...

"... !" Tamaki flailed his arms mutely.

"Honestly, Tamaki-sempai, it was your own idea for me to work to clear my debt. I don't see why you'd suddenly have a problem with it."

"... !"

"Hm, I suppose I should be referring to myself using _'ore'_ then, it would probably make more sense to my customers." She turned in her pacing and paused, looking up. "Ah, Takeshi-sempai, I'm glad you're here."

The club's newest member fought against the blush that threatened to show up on his face. "I hope we all get along with each other," he said.

**ooo**

"...Finally there is Fujioka-san, my potential Ashikabi. I can't tell if she's actively trying or not, but Suoh-kun has dubbed her a 'Natural-type'. As far as I can tell, she just makes regular conversation with her customers, but _something_ she says seems to set them off almost as well as the other members towards their own customers."

"And how will you fit into all this?" Miya pressed.

"I don't know," Takeshi admitted. He turned towards Homura, "I was hoping you could tell me, or at least give me some pointers."

"Well," the former Host said thoughtfully. "The thing is, although customers do want to be treated well, they want to believe their hosts have geniune interests in themselves. Acting is usually not the best way to go, because on some minute level they might know its false. Those twins you mentioned might be good enough to keep their clients from noticing but you, Takeshi, I'm not sure what advice I can give you beyond 'be yourself' and just try to actually be considerate."

"I don't know about that," Uzume chimed in. "He takes after his mother quite a bit..."

"And what's wrong with that?" Miya asked sweetly.

"Nothing!" Uzume replied quickly. "It's just that... can you imagine _Miya_ being a hostess?"

The whole room fell silent for a few moments, then almost everybody shuddered. Takeshi lowered his head into his hands, while Miya smiled happily at the thought of much justice being meted out.

"Sorry I couldn't help you any more, Takeshi," Homura said.

"Just take care of yourself," Shirou added. He winced, "And... try not to psychologically damage any of your customers..."

**ooo**

The next day, like Haruhi before him, Takeshi found himself serving a trio of schoolgirls under Tamaki's watchful eye.

"Takeshi-kun," one of them cooed. "What do you like to do for fun?"

"Well, ah, I work out a bit," Takeshi stammered out. "But normally I find myself cleaning up after my younger siblings."

"Oh!" said a second girl. "Takeshi-kun, tell us about your family, do you have many siblings?"

"I have... several," he replied cautiously. _Several dozen,_ he mentally added. He threw a glance to the side and caught Tamaki smiling at him. He refocused his attention back on the girls and blew out a theatrical sigh. "They do tend to be a bit aggravating at times," he admitted, "but I do love them dearly." He threw another glance towards the blonde. "Someday I hope I can share such close bonds with you all."

Tamaki gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up as the girls swooned and leaned in towards him. "Aah, Takeshi-ku~un!"

Takeshi leaned away slightly and tried to shove down the impulse to shout about improper behaviors. He found his escape as he looked down at the table. "Oh, let me refill your drinks for you." He placed all of their glasses onto a tray and quickly made his way towards the cart where the various juice mixes and teapots sat.

Tamaki joined him shortly, "That was well done, Emiya-sempai! I knew you'd be nervous on your first day, but I remembered how Haruhi displayed her natural ability when talking about her family. Kyouya helped by giving your customers a list of questions to ask so you could have a similar dialogue to open yourself up!"

Takeshi blinked, "Did he now...?" He continued to pour out the drinks very carefully, "I'll have to remember to thank him later."

**ooo**

"So, Takeshi-kun, what kind of workouts do you do?"

"I practice archery a bit, but I mostly follow my family's sword style."

"Martial arts! Are you strong?"

"I'm passable," Takeshi said modestly. "I'm more proficient than my siblings, but I still have a long way to go since my parents can still wipe the floor with me."

""Oh? Who's stronger then, Takeshi-sempai or Mori-sempai?""

Takeshi and his clients looked up to see Hikaru and Kaoru leaning over the backrest of Takeshi's couch. "I wouldn't know," Takeshi said. "I've not had the pleasure of seeing Morinozuka-kun in a match before."

"Aah! Wasn't Mori-sempai the captain of the Kendo Club before he joined the Host Club?" one of the girls squealed.

"Yes, just like Honey-sempai was the captain of the Karate Club!"

"Hani-kun was?" Takeshi blinked.

""Oh yeah,"" the twins chorused. ""Some called him the Demon of the Karate Club back in the day, and Mori-sempai was his second.""

Takeshi raised his hands placatingly. "Well... then I'm certain I would stand no chance," he said. "I only practice while I'm at home, after all." _Full contact sparring against Mother for several hours at a time..._ He managed to keep a slightly disinterested expression externally, though he was sweating on the inside. _Can't draw attention to the Clan..._

"I'd like to see Takeshi-kun in his Kendo uniform," said one girl dreamily.

"I don't actually practice _Kendo,_" Takeshi said.

""Alright!"" The Hitachiin twins spun around. ""Hey, Mori-sempai! The New Guy wants to challenge you!""

"I never said that!" Takeshi snapped.

"Oh? Takeshi-kun wants to challenge Takashi?" Honey bounced into view. "Takashi, are you going to accept?"

". . ." Mori said.

Honey jumped excitedly, "He said 'yes!'"

"I didn't hear a 'yes'," Takeshi sputtered.

Several girls shrieked happily at the thought of seeing two attractive boys getting sweaty in front of them.

The air around Takeshi darkened abruptly as he rigidly held his hands against his sides. His voice was suddenly low and somewhat ominous. "Violence, in the school, should not–"

"Takeshi-sempai," a soft hand closed around his and the darkness vanished abruptly.

Takeshi recoiled as his head exploded for another reason and he staggered back several steps.

Haruhi kept his hand in her own and kept pace with him. "I think it'd be interesting to see Takeshi-sempai spar with Mori-sempai. It's just a friendly competition, right?"

"Um, well..." Takeshi stammered as he struggled to control his Reaction.

"Of course," Kyouya said as he walked up. "We would never allow our club members to put each other, or our customers, into any danger. We'll set up a proper venue shortly, and tickets to the event will be available on our website shortly."

As the girls – and Tamaki – cried out in excitement, two identical boys released themselves from the other's protective grasp.

"Hikaru, what was that just now?"

"I don't know, Kaoru, but I thought I almost heard Ominous Latin Chanting."

"Did you see a face?"

"Not quite, but maybe something that could have been."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Probably..."

The Hitachiin twins narrowed their eyes and grinned. ""I think we have a very interesting new toy in our possession...""

* * *

><p><em>(an) – the problem with doing an insert into a canon series is keeping it close enough to source material so it's not entirely different, yet not so close it's the exact same-old. Nerima was easier because it took place after canon, while the same could not be done for Ouran because... Ouran ends in a manner that would not work for what we're trying to do._

_on the other hand, i'm no good when dealing with the TheStationsofCanon (i have renewed respect for GB in pulling it off, whether he did it well or not) so i'm putting just enough in for establishing the setting, then i plan to go off on a completely different tangent._

_that in itself has it's own problems... but hopefully i can avoid complaints of 'rehashing' the story. hopefully._


	56. EC: Ouran Sidestory 01 Kyouya

**Emiya Clan – Ouran Sidestory 01: Kyouya**

* * *

><p>It was nearly midnight when I first heard the soft tapping on the door. I was sitting alone in my room, not an unusual occurrence since I often stayed up quite late while organizing my activities for the next week. The activities for the current week I had long since taken care of, although I was experienced enough to leave plenty of flexibility in that schedule to accommodate the random whims of that kind-hearted moron. Lately, however, I'd found my hours taken up by a pair of brand new puzzles.<p>

Haruhi Fujioka was almost-but-not-quite an open book. Information on her personal and academic history was readily available. There were a few notations which made her unusual, especially her father's occupation, but I had seen these patterns often enough to know that the data currently available on her would not tell me everything I needed to know about her.

However, this could easily be resolved through simple observations, and I'd already taken steps to get acquainted with Ryouji "Ranka" Fujioka. Our correspondence, combined with my own personal observations of Haruhi herself, would tell me everything I needed to know about her and what buttons I might need to push to ensure her cooperation, should the need ever arise.

As for my other puzzle... "Enter," I called out, keeping my eyes focused on my laptop's screen.

Seizaburo Tachibana, the head of my personal guards, quietly opened the door, closed it, and moved to stand before my desk. "Young Master," he said stiffly. "I regret having to report failure in the task you have assigned to us."

My fingers paused on the keyboard as I lifted my head to stare into his sunglasses. "You were unable to determine the target's place of residence?"

"That is, unfortunately, the case," Tachibana said. "The target remained on foot for roughly a kilometer without demonstrating any signs he had noticed our presence. However, we lost visual contact with him as he entered the more crowded portions of the downtown city. By the time Honda was able to insert himself into the area, approximately twenty-seconds after, we had lost him and were unable to reacquire visual contact."

"Where were you when this happened?" I said, looking back down as I typed notes into the computer.

"Downtown Shin-Tokyo."

"Thank you, Tachibana," I said. "That will be all." I leaned back slightly as the guard left the room as quietly as he had arrived. I had sort of been expecting this result. Takeshi Emiya was truly a puzzle worth solving. In contrast to Fujioka, there was very little information I could find on the third year student. Previous school records only stated that he had always been a a top-graded student, and that he had most likely grown up within Shin-Tokyo. Information on his parents, even their names, were curiously absent from his records. The same went for his place of residence.

My own personal impressions of the student indicated a very controlled personality, which were partially backed up by the information his clients had passed back to me, assuming those conversations contained accurate information. He had implied he was the eldest child in his family, which certainly fit with the sort of rigid discipline he acted with. His reactions to the Hitachiins were somewhat abnormal; though they generally succeeded in irritating just about anyone, Emiya's reaction had gone further, almost as if he had been personally offended.

That either suggested an extremely sheltered lifestyle, not terribly unusual for the heir of a major family; or overexposure to the exact opposite, which could imply a history similar to Tamaki's, except he had taken it much harder than the Suoh had. Given that information on him was incredibly difficult to find, this suggested the latter situation was more likely.

If Takeshi were the bastard child of a powerful individual, it would explain how he had access to enough money to attend a school like Ouran without having to go through the scholarship program. His father's family – since I had no knowledge of a powerful 'Emiya' family I assumed the name came from his mother's side – being shamed by the affair, would likely have the resources to strike all important information from public record. Takeshi would have grown up extremely sensitive to reminders of his sordid past, which could explain why he reacted so strongly towards Hikaru and Kaoru. Even his escape of my guard's observations may have come from a childhood spent avoiding his father's family guards.

As for the final piece of this puzzle, I had performed my own research into all major companies based in Shin-Tokyo, searching for any signs of the name 'Emiya'. I finally found a match in Mid-Bio Informatics, a bio-technical pharmaceutical conglomerate. MBI was mostly a technical company, patenting their research for commercial applications elsewhere, like in the country's airport screening system. Even Ootori Medical licensed some of their scanning devices in their higher-end hospitals.

The CEO for the company was publicly listed as a Takami Sahashi, but I found a small notation in their personnel files for a Sakura Emiya, their Chief of Public Relations. Bringing up pictures for both women, I immediately took note of the latter's purple hair and eyes. I also saw enough similar features between Takami and Takeshi to believe the student was a relative of hers, probably a child of her son and this Sakura.

It was purely circumstantial of course, so I'd keep quiet for now, but I still felt a triumphant thrill as I made a mental note to continue researching along this particular line. That could wait for later, however. In the meantime, I still had to complete my duties as a Host Club member and work out the details for this upcoming match between Takashi Morinozuka and Takeshi Emiya – no, Takeshi _Sahashi_.


	57. EC: Ouran 04

_(a/n) – sorry for the delay, i recently discovered the doujin/fic "Together with House-Husband" and the One Day series of doujin's and have been on a reading spree. they're quite cute/amusing_**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Ouran 04<strong>

* * *

><p>Martial Arts had a long and honorable tradition in Japan. For practitioners of the various Arts – whenever the need arose to come together and trade blows – subdued, solemn affairs were all that were necessary. After all, they came to engage in combat against each other, not put on a show for an audience.<p>

So of course, when it came time for two members of the Ouran Host Club to engage in a friendly duel, it was a loud, flashy affair. The Kendo hall was clearly too small for what Tamaki had in mind, so he somehow managed to obtain permission to use the basketball club's gymnasium. The court was taken up by small temporary fixtures of raised flooring and short walls. Wall-scrolls and other decorations were chosen carefully to invoke the romantic period of the Bakumatsu. Refreshments drawn from recipes of the era were in abundance, served in old-style tableware. A small, but understated sign at the entrance proclaimed the entire gymnasium to be the Ikeda-ya Inn

And of course the entirety of the Host Club was in attendance, dressed as – who else? – the Shinsengumi.

"What is all this?" Takeshi's eye twitched as he took in the supposed venue for the match. He had come late, having to borrow another student's armor and wait for a _tare_, his hip padding, to be made out for his name. The equipment was currently piled into a bag slung over his shoulder and he was dressed in his normal school uniform.

"Tamaki-sempai planned this all out," Haruhi said as she walked over to him. "From what Hikaru told me, we tend to have these cosplay events quite frequently." She tilted her head to the side and Takeshi turned to find the the Suoh heir dressed in a much darker set of clothes than the rest of the club members. He had an unusually stern expression on his face as he spoke to the girls seated around him, yet the students still shrieked with happiness.

Takeshi surveyed the floor a bit more, finding Hikaru and Kaoru in the same blue and white uniforms Haruhi was wearing. The two were bent over each other as usual, much to the delight of their own customers, and Takeshi felt his own mood darken. He didn't see Hani anywhere, though another cluster of giggling schoolgirls suggested where he might be. He saw Kyouya moving across the floor, also costumed in Shinsengumi colors. "How come Tamaki-kun is wearing different colors from the rest of you?"

"I think it was suggested we not cosplay with any specific figures in mind and let the customers choose their own interpretations, but he went ahead and wanted to dress as Ryouma Sakamoto."

Takeshi nodded, "The leader of the whole movement."

"Yeah," Haruhi sighed. "He's not very subtle."

Takeshi turned back towards the girl, like all the rest of the cosplaying members, she was sporting hair extensions drawn behind her head into a loose ponytail. A _hachimaki_ and a pair of wooden swords completed the ensemble. "Who are you supposed to be?"

She sighed. "Young, effeminate-looking swordsman? Who would you guess?"

"Hajime Saito."

Haruhi threw him an amused glare. Takeshi stared back with an innocent expression as several girls ran up to her, _squeeing_ their heads off.

"Kyaa! Haruhi-kun makes such a cute Souji Okita!"

"Oh darn," Takeshi deadpanned. "I guess I was wrong." He shifted his bundle and threw another look around the room. "Where's Mori-kun?"

"They left an opening in the middle where the match will actually take place," Haruhi said. "Mori-sempai's been sitting there since I arrived. You should probably get changed and join him there soon. Although, I'm not sure how long Tamaki-sempai will want to continue the, ah, preshow events."

"Good advice." He nodded and turned towards the locker rooms.

"Takeshi-sempai?"

He paused and looked over his shoulder.

Haruhi was still smiling at him, but there was a slightly worried tinge to her expression. "I know you don't want to disappoint the club members, but don't overwork yourself if you're not feeling well."

Takeshi said nothing, though he did acknowledge her words with a stiff nod as he set off again. He managed to wait until he was out of her vision before running his hands across his brow. His Reaction headache was slightly worse today, though he had assumed he was getting better at hiding it. Evidently not, if Haruhi could spot and comment on it so casually. He'd have to do something about that...

**ooo**

Several minutes later, Takeshi stepped into the central area, doing some last minute adjustments to the straps on his armor. His shinai and helmet were tucked under one arm as he pulled at the _kote_ over his hands so they were positioned securely.

Mori was already kneeling in a calm-looking pose at the far side of the mat, his hands placed lightly on his knees and his back straight. He didn't move or open his eyes, but something in his presence shifted, and Takeshi knew the other student had taken note of his arrival. Without further comment, Takeshi also lowered himself to his knees, mirroring the other's position.

His arrival hadn't gone unnoticed. Gradually, club's customers began to form a ring around the fighting mat, while other students from around the school appeared in the stands that lined the building's walls. Takeshi assumed this was Kyouya's doing, dividing up ticket sales between the 'regular' and the 'premium' spectators, a notion he felt was confirmed when several Kendo club members were called in to drag a hysterical girl from the ground crowd and back up into the bleachers after checking her ticket.

Handwritten signs were unfolded all around; the majority of them were for Mori, not unexpected as he was a far more notable figure amongst the population. There were still several made out for Takeshi, though they tended to be displayed by non-host club customers. Taking a brief survey of the sign holders, Takeshi sincerely hoped there was a betting pool in place, with most of his supporters being driven by rivalry against Morinozuka, or by greed. It was a much more comforting alternative than the other conclusion that could be drawn, considering a majority of the people cheering for him were male students.

The rest of the hosts had joined the crowd lining the edge of the arena now, and Takeshi picked up his helmet as Mori did the same. Tamaki had stepped into the middle of the mat, his voice raised as he made one of his flowering speeches to the assembled audience. Takeshi wasn't paying attention to any of it. Most of his training in swordplay was simple one-on-one spars with Miya-kaasan, and he had no experience with formal duels. Though he knew the basics of Kendo, most of his information came from a few quick suggestions from Shirou-tousan.

_"Your only targets are the helmet, the waist, and the gloves,"_ Shirou had told him. _"Most strikes will be slashing attacks, the only acceptable thrusting target is at the throat, but that's usually only allowed for higher-level players. If you're not sure, I'd avoid it. Also it's like playing pocket billiards, you need to call your attacks before you make them or it will not be counted."_

Takeshi ran the list through his head as he watched Mori and mirrored him movement for movement. The two of them bowed towards the crowds, then stepped forward towards the middle and crouched at two marked points at a short distance from each other. They remained in _sonkyo_ for several heartbeats then stood up again as three Kendo Club members stepped onto the mat, surrounding them.

Takeshi was still rising to his feet when Mori suddenly surged forward with a quick slash to his head. He reflexively moved to swat it away but Mori stepped in, quickly locking his blade with Takeshi's own. Takeshi started to backpedal to free up some space, but his opponent continued to press forward, maintaining the lock. He tried twisting his blade to the side but Mori responded by freeing his own blade with a flick of his wrist and cranking it around towards his side with another lightning fast slash.

Takeshi easily swung his blade around to catch the attack and found himself locked once again as they re-angled their blades more or less into a vertical position. He stepped back slightly, but this time Mori let him go, taking care to keep the tip of his shinai in contact with his own. When Takeshi pulled back his blade for an attack, Mori stepped into his newly opened guard.

_"Men!"_ the normally taciturn student shouted as he brought down the tip over his helmet. All three judges raised a red-colored flag as the crowd erupted into cheers. "Takeshi-kun!" shrieked an entire section of the crowd.

_So that's how it is... _Takeshi narrowed his eyes behind his mask. Mori's strikes were definitely fast, but they weren't very close to his Mother's speed. Blocking the attack was within his abilities, even with his weapon so far out of position, but he had taken the chance to trace the path of his opponent's attack and tried to figure out which portions of his own style matched it the best. He wasn't sure he was very comfortable with this slow block-lock-strike sequence.

Their blades met slightly as they stepped back into position, then one of the judges barked out a command to resume. This time Takeshi took the offensive, opening with a waist-high cut towards Mori's left side. As Mori moved to block the attack, Takeshi quickly swung it down and around to come across his right flank. Mori quickly stepped to the side to delay the impact while he arced his own blade towards Takeshi's head again. Takeshi swung his blade up and around to fully parry the attack, then stepped forward himself to bounce it across Mori's helmet. His opponent quickly leapt back out of it's range, letting the blade swing through empty space, then stepped forward with a slashing attack towards his glove, _"Kote!"_

Faster than the eye could see, Takeshi's blade was back up, bouncing Mori's shinai and his arms upwards briefly. That brief opening was all he needed and he stepped forward with a slash to his left side. _"Do!"_

White flags went up from the judges and the audience erupted again. Mori's fanbase wailed in anguish and a large section of the stands applauded. Takeshi idly noted that the Hikaru and Kaoru were both cheering and booing, evidently choosing to have supported different competitors. He was confused slightly, until he saw the mass of female students behind them looking completely lost, as if they weren't sure which combatant to cheer for themselves. The smirks on each twins' faces furthered his assumption that they had chosen to cheer for opposite sides for this exact effect.

Mori, for his part, rubbed at his sword hand as he stepped back to the starting marker. His expression was impossible to make out through the metal grille, but Takeshi was sure the other boy was revising his own opinion on his chances. He threw a quick glance towards Hani on the sidelines and grimaced as he saw the usually boisterous blonde also staring at him with a somber expression. _Well, there goes remaining under the radar_. Hopefully the regular students wouldn't look to deeply into this fight, but just to be sure...

He touched blades with Mori once again and waited. Once the signal was given, Mori stepped in with his own fast attacks. Takeshi quickly parried it to the side, then his eyes widened slightly as Mori used the momentum from the rebound to power a fast slash to his other side. Takeshi moved to parry it once more, but Mori twisted his wrists and flicked it under his guard and thrust it straight for his throat.

Takeshi leaned back and twisted out of the path for the attack, bringing his shinai around to slap it out of the way as he straightened. There were more excited screams from the crowd at the unusually fast pace of the match, but Takeshi ignored it as he ducked a reverse from Mori. Inside, he was grinning as the pace increased to a speed he was much more comfortable with. He brought his blade around at eye level, where Mori caught it near his cross guard and riposted. Takeshi brought his blade down to knock it out of position again, then twisted into the attack as he cranked his wrist around for an overhead slash.

Mori ducked into the attack, letting Takeshi's shinai pass over his shoulder, then brought his arm up and around towards his side. Takeshi whirled his blade through an infinity loop, bringing it back around to lock with Mori's blade just before it could reach him. With a flick of his wrist he disengaged and then stepped forward for a rising thrust. His overextension was not lost on his opponent, who caught the attack on the lower half of his blade, then stepped forward into another quick attack to bounce it off Takeshi's helmet again. _"Men!"_

...

Flags and the audience went up as Mori stepped back quickly, then dropped into a kneeling position. He and Takeshi bowed at each other, then they both worked their helmets off as a mass of yellow uniforms rushed the victor. The other boy's face appeared to be wearing his usual disinterested expression, but a lifetime of living with Akitsu-kaasan let Takeshi read all sorts of interesting emotions in Mori's eyes. He grimaced openly, but probably not for the reasons the crowd might have assumed he was.

"Ah, that looked tough," one of the twins said as he walked up. "You shouldn't feel too bad, though. You actually got a point off of Mori-sempai."

"He's quite skilled," Takeshi agreed. "I can see why you were curious..." he trailed off as he stared at the redhead, who flashed him a grin.

"Hikaru. Still, you're not so bad yourself, Takeshi-sempai."

"Is that why you were cheering for me?" Takeshi asked.

"Hm? No, we just wanted to encourage the betting pools." The Hitachiin twin grinned, "If we show a bit of faith in you, it makes the other students wonder if there's something we know that they don't. It made them question their assumptions slightly, and so you got a lot more bets than you would have otherwise."

Takeshi frowned, "You rigged the betting pools, Hikaru?"

"Yes, I hear Kyouya-sempai is very pleased with himself," Haruhi said as she walked over to them. "Kaoru, why are you teasing Takeshi-sempai?"

"Bzzt," the redhead tsked. "I'm Hikaru and I'm doing nothing of the sort."

"No, you're Kaoru," the brunette stated bluntly. She pointed towards the other crowd, "Hikaru's over there, pretending he's you."

Takeshi blinked as Hika– er, Kaoru whistled, clearly impressed. "Not bad, Haruhi. We'll have to introduce you to our favorite game sometime."

"Maybe later," Haruhi frowned. "Takeshi-sempai, you weren't in on the whole betting thing were you?"

"Not at all," Takeshi said. "I was assuming there might have been one, but didn't actually learn of it until Kaoru-kun just told me now."

"Then why did you throw the fight?" Haruhi stared at him, a slightly disappointed expression on her face. Kaoru's eyes widened and he turned to stare at Takeshi.

Takeshi blinked. "I what?" he asked.

"You threw the fight," she repeated. "You didn't look disappointed at all that you had lost; in fact, you looked more relieved, as if you had expected the results."

"Ah? So our newest member has a devious streak in him after all," Kaoru said happily.

"I am not devious," Takeshi bit out. "And I didn't..." he met Haruhi's piercing stare, then averted his eyes unhappily. "Well, I guess I might have."

Haruhi arched an eyebrow.

"I do think I could have done better back there," Takeshi admitted. "At the same time, my family's sword style is... vastly different from kendo. Thanks to a certain pair of someones," he glared at Kaoru, who merely smiled back at him, "I had no time to practice what types of attacks were valid and which could get me disqualified. So I was mostly reacting to attacks Mori-kun threw at me first."

Haruhi tilted her head as she studied him carefully. Finally, her expression relaxed slightly and she nodded. "I suppose I can accept that for now, but you should probably apologize to Mori-sempai. He might want a rematch."

"I'd rather not," Takeshi said. "Especially if it would be another event like this, I dislike drawing attention to myself."

"Yet you went ahead and joined us," Kaoru pointed out.

"I have my reasons." Takeshi's near-constant headache throbbed slightly at the reminder and he quickly schooled his expression.

"Well," Haruhi said. "You should probably get cleaned up. We'll get Mori-sempai to do the same. Kyouya-sempai was saying he'd have costumes waiting for you in the locker room."

Takeshi looked back and forth between Kaoru and Haruhi, as if just realizing they were still in their Shinsengumi cosplay. "Why? Isn't the event over?"

Kaoru grinned, "Of course not, Takeshi-sempai. Now it's time for the victory celebration and the after-party!"

Takeshi groaned as he watched Hikaru and Hani pull Mori out of the crowd of admirers and shove him towards the locker rooms. He winced again as Haruhi reached out and gave him a gentle shove in the same direction.


	58. EC: Ouran 05

**Emiya Clan – Ouran 05**

* * *

><p>"Takeshi, how are things coming along with your Ashikabi?" Miya smiled as she spoke. It was the sort of smile she might wear when telling a particularly amusing joke.<p>

Takeshi grunted in response.

Miya's smile didn't falter in the slightest at the brief response. "I see, well then what about those charming fellows you've decided to associate with?"

A short groan was his reply.

Again, her smile remained unchanged; it was also the sort of expression she'd wear after a satisfying day of chores. "By the way, I believe one of your friend's associates was spotted around the neighborhood. Takeshi, you should take the initiative and formally invite your friends over if they want to visit so badly."

There was another grunt, barely heard over the sound of displaced air and clashing steel.

Finally Miya frowned as she lowered her katana and posted her hands on her hips, "Really, Takeshi, it's very hard to have a conversation when you barely say more than one or two syllable sentences."

Finally free of his Mother's relentless assault, Takeshi collapsed to his knees, careful to keep his own blade in hand in case she decided to renew her attack. Even while bent over and gasping for breath, he made sure to keep an eye on her. She was back to wearing the same smile she always used when beating the living tar out of her son. "I wasn't exactly in a mood for conversation, Mother."

Miya tutted and sheathed her blade in a single, smooth motion. "I suppose this is a good stopping point as any." She walked towards the doorway at the end of the training hall, idly waving a hand at the bruises covering his arms and torso. "Have Chiho take a look at some of those and then meet me in the North Wing's living room. I'd like to hear how your day went today."

**ooo**

Freshly bathed – and bandaged – Takeshi found his Mother calmly sipping tea at the center of the room. He took a seat opposite hers and accepted a cup of his own, the warm tea spreading warmth through his body and relaxing his aching muscles. They remained quiet for several minutes, simply enjoying the calm and the tea.

"Nothing serious, I hope?" As always, Miya broke the silence first.

"No Mother, your control – as always – is perfect," Takeshi assured her. "You don't have to ask every day, I know my own limits."

Miya peered over her teacup with half-lidded eyes, "You can't expect me to not care for my own son's well-being. It's not like I enjoy inflicting such injuries on you."

Takeshi shrugged, "It's how I choose to train. Unless you'd rather I joined Father on one of his Apostle Hunts."

"I would be severely _disappointed _if you did so," Miya said. She sighed dramatically, "Now then, before I get too distracted, you were going to tell me about your day."

Takeshi frowned, "What, am I still a grade-schooler? No offense, Mother, but telling my parents the details of my school life is just... odd."

"I could ask one of your sisters to sit in on our conversations," Miya suggested sweetly.

"So, earlier in the week it was announced that we'd be having our Physical Examinations today," Takeshi said quickly. "Naturally, the Club decided it would be in their best interests to distract the student body somehow from finding out about Fujioka-san's real gender..."

...

* * *

><p>...<p>

A black-suited man wandered the street. He sported opaque sunglasses to match his slicked-back hair, moustache, and goatee. One of Kyouya Ootori's three personal guards, Aijima was the exact opposite for the definition of 'inconspicuous'. He adjusted his glasses in annoyance as made his way down the road. Kyouya-sama had tasked the three of them with locating his schoolmate's place of residence. Considering the lack of public information, he could understand the Young Master's curiosity, but he did have to wonder why he couldn't just simply ask the student for the information he wanted.

Tachibana had ruled that protecting Kyouya-sama took priority and had tasked himself with remaining on guard around the Young Master. Honda and Aijima had flipped a coin, a toss that he had lost, which resulted in him wandering down a random street in Tokyo canvassing random pedestrians for information. Kyouya-sama had provided him a photograph of a woman, he was to ask any locals in the area to see if they could identify her or point out where she lived. After more than two hours and countless bewildered bystanders, Aijima was ready to call it quits and let Honda try his luck the next day.

He checked his watch, _One or two more people, then I'll report back._ He lifted his head just as a smartly dressed woman turned the corner and headed his way. She seemed middle-aged, yet she still wore her dark hair in twin side-ponytails, a curiously childish style. He mentally shrugged as he flagged her down. "Excuse me Miss, if I could have a moment of your time."

The woman checked her own watch then adopted an impatient-looking stance. "If it's quick," she said.

"Thank you." For the umpteenth time that day, he opened the folder he was carrying around, displaying the picture and what little information Kyouya-sama had gathered on 'Sakura Emiya'. "I was wondering if you could tell me anything about this young lady here."

The woman arched an eyebrow at him and seemed to lean back slightly. Not for the first time, Aijima wished the Young Master had thought to find a trusted woman to do their information hunting with. Having a middle-aged man asking about a woman set off more than a few alarm bells in people's minds.

"Oh!" the brunette was saying. Her voice suddenly rose in pitch and she had shifted from her impatient posture to one like a school-girl eager to impress her teacher. "I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I couldn't tell you anything about her. She does look like a good girl, though; like the type of person you'd want to have as your sister."

"Maybe," Aijima was taken aback by the sudden switch in her personality. He glanced briefly at the picture again and shrugged.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you what you needed to know," she apologized brightly.

He closed the folder and bowed to her. "That's alright, Miss," he assured her. "Thank you for your time." He stepped past her and continued on his way, mentally shaking his head at the clearly bipolar woman clinging her childish memories.

It was well past the time most office workers returned home, and he'd already asked as many people as he could during that time. Now, the streets were almost empty of casual foot-traffic. He was about to turn around and head back to where he had parked his car, when he noticed a young man stepping out of the grocery store he was just passing. "Excuse me Sir, could I have a moment of your time, please?"

The young man had gold-blonde hair in a somewhat ragged cut and was dressed in a casual clothing, yet he seemed to stare down at Aijima with a look of utter disdain. "What business do you have with Me?" he demanded.

Aijima reflexively bowed at the tone of the man's voice. He was partially reminded of Yoshio-sama, the patriarch of the Ootori family, but then he realized that no high member of society would be caught dead around a neighborhood grocer with double armfuls of produce. He opened up his briefing folder and presented it to the golden-haired man, repeating his request.

For some reason this seemed to unhinge the man, who began ranting and raving about 'mongrels', and 'fakers', and 'lowly servants wasting the Golden King's valuable time'. He stormed past Aijima, his voice slowly fading with distance as the Ootori guard stood in place in confusion. Finally he shook his head, closed his folder, and spun around to search for his car.

_Right, I've found the neighborhood of lunatics. I _seriously _doubt the woman Kyouya-sama is looking for would be found here..._

_...  
><em>

* * *

><p>...<p>

"...and so, in the end, everything was resolved by simply allowing her to take her measurements in private." Takeshi shook his head. "What really gets me is that was the plan from the very beginning, but everybody let Suoh-kun think otherwise just to screw with him."

Miya was fingering the hilt of her sword. "Well, he did call you lot 'a bunch of homosexual side characters.' "

Takeshi eyed the sword warily, "That he did..."

Miya lifted her head and smiled, the air around her darkening ever so slightly. "Despite your Ashikabi's questionable taste in clothing, rest assured I do not think the same of you, my son."

"Uh, thanks, Mother... I think."

Miya unsheathed her blade and inspected the edge carefully. "I think I would like to meet Suoh-san one of these days."

"Um..."

He was saved as the door to the room burst open and a redhead dashed in. "Take-chan~" Karin brandished her MBiPAD happily. "Look at what I found~"

"Now's not the time, Karin," Takeshi began.

"Oh, what do we have here?" Miya said, sheathing her blade once again.

Karin bounced forward and laid her computer on the table triumphantly. "I found this on your Host Club's website," she said.

Takeshi and Miya both leaned forward to stare at the screen, which displayed the profile pages for the Host Club's members. Currently it was showing the profile for Haruhi Fujioka, bare-chested and very clearly _bishounen_.

"Takeshi," Miya's voice was as warm as ever, which contrasted with the sudden chill that ran through his spine. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"But... the report said... " Takeshi sputtered and looked towards Karin for backup. The smile on his sister's face did not reassure him. "Matsu-kaasan was the one... I mean, I've _seen_ her without clothes on..."

_"Oh?"_ The sound of steel running across steel filled the air.

Karin's grin grew wider, "You're not winning any points here, Take-chan."

Takeshi continued making noises that implied his brain was melting.

The redhead leaned forward to pick up her tablet. "Relax~ It's fake."

Takeshi looked up with a hopeful expression, "Really?" He noted his mother had returned to her original position, sword safely out of sight, looking as if she'd never moved in the first place.

Karin nodded confidently. "Oh yeah, This looks 'shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few 'shops in my time."

Takeshi blinked, "I thought you were banned from programs like that."

Karin's shoulders dropped in disappointment. "You're no fun, Take-chan."

"... What?"

**ooo**

"At the risk of sounding like a broken record, '_What is this?_'"

The other Host Club members looked up in surprise as Takeshi stormed into the Third Music room.

"What is what?" Tamaki asked, blinking in confusion.

"I think he means, this," Kyouya said as he set his laptop down on the table in front of Tamaki. The screen was set to display the same website Takeshi had seen the previous night.

Tamaki grabbed at the sides of the computer, _"What is this?"_

"Waa~ Haru-chan is so cool!" Hani gushed.

". . ." Haruhi had a very... interesting expression as she stared at the screen.

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" Tamaki turned to the only people in the room who hadn't reacted to the commotion. "I left you in charge of the Club's website because you said you'd do it seriously!"

""We are doing it seriously,"" they chimed together.

"Yeah, we spent a lot of hours putting that together to appease Haruhi's fanclub," Kaoru said.

"It's not like there's anything better to do," Hikaru added.

Takeshi walked over towards the two, his eyes hidden behind his suddenly reflective glasses. "And that means you think you can put up that... that..." Words failed him and he simply pointed towards the laptop, "_that?_"

The twins stared blankly at him for several moments. ""Yes?""

The very air seemed to darken around the him; Ominous Latin Chanting and the staccato clapping of a _tsuzumi_ could be heard as _It _appeared. Tamaki quickly escaped to the side, rushing back to hide behind Kyouya.

"Reimagining one of our fellow hosts for your own twisted amusement," Takeshi said softly, reciting the aria for the Emiya Clan's most terrifying technique, "_is forbidden."_

_It_ stared at the twins with twin pinpricks of light emerging from an infinite abyss. _It_ cackled madly, a nightmarish grin that leeched all life from the air. _It_ writhed in agony, nightmarish contortions that seemed to defy the laws of reality.

Hikaru and Kaoru clutched at each other, desperate for an escape of their own, though they were shocked witless and unable to form a single coherent thought between them.

As if driven by fate, or the terrible machinations of a higher power (_a/n – mwahaha_), the door to the clubroom suddenly flew open. Ouran's newest transfer student, a young first year girl with pink ribbons decorating her hair, stepped into the room and made a beeline for the group of Hosts carefully maintaining their distance from the other three. Her eyes lit up with recognition and she dived forward, her arms outstretched, "Kyouya-sama!"

Heads turned at the sudden entrance and shout, including – unfortunately – Takeshi's. The new student halted in mid leap, the sudden chill making her look around to seek out the source of the ominous dread she was feeling. Takeshi, still enraged by the Hitachiin twins' actions, had forgotten to release his technique. Just before she reached her beloved look-alike, Renge Houshakuji keeled over and passed out on the floor.

**ooo**

"Honestly," Haruhi said as she threw a spare blanket over the shivering twins. "I understand you wanted to give the girls something to look at, especially since they missed their chance during the physical examinations. But would it have killed you to ask first?"

"Can't sleep," Hikaru shivered, "clowns will eat me."

"Why would we have asked?" Kaoru said.

"Because I might not have wanted you to do it, had I known in advance."

"That's exactly why we didn't."

Haruhi sighed and looked over to where Tamaki and Kyouya were discussing the new arrival as she rested on another spare couch. Takeshi was being scolding by Honey and Mori, though Mori simply loomed over the other boy while Honey spelled out his points using Usa-chan. The overall effect seemed comical, but Takeshi seemed to be suitably chastened. She turned back towards the twins, Hikaru evidently having recovered and joining his brother in staring back at her. "Seriously, what am I to you two?"

""You have to ask?"" they said, in tandem. ""You're our 'toy'. ""

"A toy," she repeated blankly.

"You amuse us," Hikaru stated.

"You interest us," Kaoru chimed in.

""There aren't many other people we could say the same about.""

"What about Tamaki-sempai?"

"_Tono_? He's interesting as well, but he's become predictable." Hikaru shrugged. "Predictable people get boring after a while, no matter how interesting they are."

"That's why you're our current favorite Toy, Haruhi," Kaoru said, levering himself up into a sitting position again. "But, even you are getting used to the craziness around here. So we're losing interest fast."

"Trust us, you wouldn't like us when we're bored," Hikaru said with a grin as he sat up as well. "So, we find ourselves looking for something to do."

"Ne, Haruhi, can we come over to visit your place?" Kaoru asked.

"Absolutely not," Haruhi replied with a smile.

"You didn't even think about it!" Hikaru complained.

"Can we start spreading rumors that you're a girl, then?" Kaoru suggested.

"Don't make me call Takeshi-sempai back over here."

""We'll be good.""

**ooo**

"Sorry about that, Tamaki-kun," Takeshi rubbed his head nervously. "I shouldn't have let them get to me like that."

"Definitely not," Tamaki said grandly. "Especially when it involves one of our customers. Us Hosts are professionals, we must never let our internal disputes carry over into our interactions with our guests."

"I don't think I've ever seen this girl around before," Takeshi pointed out.

"Eh, neither have I," Tamaki admitted. He turned to look over his shoulder. "Kyouya?"

"Renge Houshakuji," Kyouya said as he flipped through a small notebook. "She's the daughter of one of my father's important clients, so I agree she should be treated with all due respect. I made a few inquiries, she's spent much of her life living in Paris, France."

Tamaki twitched, almost imperceptibly. It was doubtful anyone else would have noticed, but Kyouya knew Tamaki better than anyone. "Interesting," he said lightly. "I think this is an excellent opportunity for Haruhi to practice her skills by showing Houshakuji-san around the school."

"What, why me?" the girl called from across the room.

_Sharp ears,_ Takeshi thought.

"Yes, why her?" Kyouya threw a glance at Takeshi. "I would have thought she would be Takeshi-sempai's responsibility, seeing as he was the reason she suffered her... anxiety attack."

Tamaki threw an arm around his friend and whispered very loudly. "Kyouya, this is an excellent opportunity for Haruhi to realize her feminine side! By having a close female friend, the gentle atmosphere that can only be possessed by the fairer sex will aid her and make her more conscious as a girl!"

Takeshi arched an eyebrow, "You want her in a dress that badly?"

"I can still hear you," Haruhi reminded them from across the room.

Tamaki rushed over to a nearby table and pulled out a large picture frame from beneath it. "It's not right!" he cried out. He displayed the poster-sized photograph of Haruhi from her middle-school days. "Otou-san would like to see you return to your days like this!"

"Since when did you become my 'dad'?" Haruhi returned. "And where did you get that picture from?"

Kyouya silently adjusted his glasses.

"Make friends with this girl and start wearing dresses again!" Tamaki pleaded.

"What about my debt?"

Tamaki froze in mid-reply. Kyouya took the opportunity to retrieve the portrait from his limp hands and return it to its hiding place. Just as he did so, the figure on the couch groaned and shifted. In less than a heartbeat, Tamaki was by her side, gently cradling her hands as she recovered. "O-hime-sama," he said softly. "Do not be afraid, we will take care of you."

Renge blinked as she took in the face before her, then she wrenched her hands from his grasp and shoved him to the side. "Don't touch me, you _faker!_" she shrieked.

_Hoo-boy,_ Takeshi sighed and dropped his head into a waiting hand.

**ooo**

Hikaru and Kaoru grimaced slightly as they worked out the kinks in their limbs. Being scared stiff was not just a verbal phrase, it seemed, and having passed out in that state only made things worse.

"What are they yelling about now?" Hikaru said as he tilted his head this way and that.

Kaoru stared over the back of the couch for several moments. "There's some girl over there who just flattened _Tono_," he said. "Now she's fawning over Kyouya-sempai."

"So, nothing interesting?"

"Nope, not really."

"I heard something interesting," a low voice said from behind them.

The two of them jumped in surprise as they regarded the cloaked figure who'd suddenly appeared in their midst.

"I heard there was a student here who could summon the darkest of all curses on command," the intruder stated. "It is a power I am greatly interested in." He lifted one arm to display a rather cute cat-like hand puppet. The puppet's 'hands' wiggled.

"Beelzenef is interested as well," the figure concluded.

* * *

><p><em>(an) – to the reviewer who wanted takeshi involved in a 'real duel'. there you go. :D_

_bit of a plotline snarl. in my attempt to avoid 'TheStationsofCanon', i wanted to gloss over several instances or deliberately take them out of order. the manga for ouran actually helps somewhat in this regard because for about 70 chapters, the story runs on 'Comicbook Time'. they have at least 2-3 summer vacations without any time passing. while i'm not really going to try to work out a timeline for this, i feel safe in being able to jump around a bit._

_that said, i realized about halfway through i had several important side characters, and even some themes i had forgotten to insert. i'm a very lazy type of writer who doesn't use a beta, so i threw most of them in almost-last-minute, resulting in this mashup/mess you see here._

_also letting you know, school starts this week so my update schedule (if i ever had one) will definitely drop. the 'serial' stuff like ouran will probably suffer the most. if i'm mostly working on school stuff i might get a random snippet that's suitable for F:SD (if anybody ever read those, *sob sob sob...*)_


	59. EC: Ouran 06

**Emiya Clan Misc – Ouran 06**

* * *

><p>The willowy brunette sighed happily, "It was love at first sight... "<p>

"Eh?"

"Always affectionate towards the garden's plants which everybody else would ignore; compassionately reaching out to aid injured wildlife... "

""That... we can't imagine that at all... ""

"Such a kind-hearted individual. He helps others without asking for anything in return..."

"What."

"Thrives in solitude, but he actually hates being alone and longs for companionship... "

"This sounds like the storyline for a really bad... "

"From the heart-throbbing Dating Sim, Uki＊Doki Memorial, Miyabi Ichijou!" Renge spun in place and jabbed a finger towards the Shadow King. "Kyouya-sama looks exactly like him!"

Kyouya pressed a hand to his chin in thought. "I see, this 'Miyabi' probably resembles me somewhat, so she puts me in place with her favorite character and lets her fantasies run wild."

""Otaku!"" The twins recoiled in shock. ""It's a real life Otaku!""

Tamaki stepped forward, "Houshakuji-san... " He stopped as she swung her hand around to jab him in the chest.

"You!" she exclaimed. "You're the worst! A true King of men wouldn't spread his love around to every two-bit girl that crossed his field of vision! He would cling tightly to his one and only true love, just like Miyabi-sama!" She glared at him, a narrow-eyed stare that transmitted the depth of her loathing for him, "You're just a Fake King!"

With a pained cry, Tamaki fell backwards as if he'd been shot.

"Renge-chan~" Honey bounced over to the distraught girl. "Renge-chan, would you like to have some milk to calm down?"

She flicked a finger against his forehead and grabbed at his cheeks. "What is this? Are you really a high school student?"

Honey ran to hide behind Mori, sobbing the whole way.

Renge whirled around to take in the room as a whole. "You're all lacking... all of your characteristics are terribly lacking!" She began to pace around agitatedly as the Host Club watched her blankly. "You're all _too_ perfect, you have no bad points! Girls are weak to handsome men who hide trauma in their lives! Anything else is just too dull!"

She stabbed her finger towards Honey. "We'll start with you! Being cute on the inside _and_ outside is for babies! You should have a cute appearance that hides the personality of a demon!"

"What?"

"Morinozuka-sempai, you must be willing to speak up against Haninozuka-sempai more often! He will scorn you at every turn but you demonstrate unwavering loyalty even when it pains you!"

". . ."

"You two!" she stared at Hikaru and Kaoru. "You're twins that suffer tremendously because people can't tell you apart." She flipped a rubber ball towards them from... somewhere. "And you're part of the basketball club."

""Haah?""

"Haruhi-kun, you're a super-poor honors student who suffers from bullies!"

"... Isn't that what's going on right now already?"

"Tamaki-sempai, people always compliment you because of your looks and because your father is the headmaster of the school, but you suffer from extreme isolation for those reasons as well!"

"That... actually seems quite suitable..."

She stabbed a finger towards Takeshi, then paused to hide behind Kyouya. "You're a Demon!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

She ignored him and swung around to face her hiding spot. "Kyouya-sama, please don't ever change."

The Shadow King smiled graciously and bowed. "It will be my pleasure."

She turned towards the last person in the room, a figure wrapped in a black cloak lurking in the background, "And who is this?"

"Hm? Oh, that's just Nekozawa-sempai," Hikaru said.

Nekozawa smiled beneath the shadow of his hood, wiggling his hand puppet. "And Beelzenef," he added.

"Wrong!" Before anybody could react, Renge stalked forward and whipped the black cloth from his body. "If you're going for the handsome-yet-mysterious look, then you're trying way too hard! You need to have more subtlety, and what's with the doll? We already have one with Honey-sempai!"

"THE LIGHT!" Nekozawa shrieked, cowering against the floor. "IT BURNS!"

She threw the cloak over the twitching body and stalked away. "That's just trying too hard. I've already decided on a Demon, too."

Two very annoyed faces turned towards the one person in the room still smiling. ""Kyouya-sempai, please do something about her...""

"Me? But I thought she was Haruhi's responsibility."

"Eh?" the brunette paled.

"Besides," Kyouya smiled. "This could turn out to be something very interesting..."

**ooo**

""This sucks.""

Renge's 'character reinterpretation project' had turned into a full-fledged short film, complete with a professional filming crew. Hikaru and Kaoru had just come from their scene, consisting of a dramatic basketball game which had resulted in Kaoru being injured. The two traded heartfelt lines as Kaoru was hauled away on a medical stretcher while rain fell around them. Tamaki had walked up to them at that point, solemnly pointing out the two of them had each other to cling to, while he had nobody else to rely on. That despite his status as an idol of the school, he was drowning in isolation. And the rain continued to fall around them.

"Look at this script!" Hikaru complained. "It implies that although I take the initiative in our relationship, Kaoru is the more mature one who leads me from behind."

"What's wrong with that?" Takeshi asked. "It seems like something you two would do."

"It's _exactly_ what we do," Hikaru clarified. "There's no reason for to change our characters then!"

They watched as Honey and Mori cornered Haruhi against a tree. Honey, for his part, was doing a tremendously excellent job acting out a cold, heartless villain. Haruhi looked suitably cowed as the shorter boy berated her for living beyond her means and trying to stand against him. Mori leaned down to quietly admonish him, but Honey slapped him away. "Shut it, Takashi!" the normally cheerful boy growled. "Or would you like me to punish you _again?_" He smiled wickedly as he looked down upon Haruhi, who was staring back defiantly. Meanwhile, the rain continued to fall around them.

The bystanders all shivered.

Suddenly Honey hiccupped, "I... I'm so sorry, Haru-chan!" He dived forward to glomp Haruhi. "I didn't mean it! I'll never do that again!" He sobbed into her shoulder as she blinked and patted his head consolingly. The rain continued to fall, leaving dramatic water trails on their faces.

"CUT!" Renge bit into her scriptbook as she stood up angrily. "Honey-sempai, follow the script! Camera crews, take a break and review everything you've gotten until now! Rain, be more painful!"

Takeshi stared at the crewmember who's only purpose seemed to be controlling a glorified garden hose. _Why rain?_

"Yes, boss!" the crew acknowledged.

Tamaki rushed over to Haruhi to compliment her acting and fish for compliments for his own. Renge spun towards the rest of the peanut gallery. "Takeshi-sempai! Let's review the script for you and Nekozawa-sempai."

"Ah..." Takeshi looked down to the page he had bookmarked in the scriptbook. "About that..."

"Yes, so, you and Nekozawa-sempai are a pair of shadowy demons with absolutely no redeeming qualities. The rest of the Host Club will band together, showing that even their own troubles are nothing compared to how far you two have fallen. In a dramatic, climactic scene they will band together and defeat you using the Power of Friendship!"

"You're still mad about the incident in the clubroom, aren't you?" Takeshi asked.

She ignored him and looked around. "Speaking of which, where is Nekozawa-sempai."

""He ran away,"" the twins shrugged. ""As soon as he could.""

"He doesn't do so well outdoors," Hikaru commented.

"Too much natural light," Kaoru added. "Too much light, period."

Renge put a finger to her chin for a few moments. "Well, that's alright, I managed to obtain the services of a few students from Class 1-D to help us out. Takeshi-sempai, they'll be your minions." She pointed off to the side where several students were just rounding the corner of the building.

"My what?"

"Yes, so Takeshi-sempai and his Horde of Evil will strike out on the members of the Host Club—"

"Hey, we're what now?" the first student asked.

"—and then after their first initial defeat, Kyouya-sama will provide an inspirational speech that will touch at the hearts of all of you and band together to defeat these villains!"

"Renge-san!" Haruhi spoke up. "This might be convenient for you, but don't you think if you see people in such a superficial light, there's so much about them that you're missing out on?"

"Eh?" She cocked her head to the side for a moment, then shook it. "I don't get it. Anyhow, Nameless Extra #1, you'll stand _here_."

Takeshi broke into shivers, causing the other three Host Club members to stare at him oddly.

"Hey!" protested the Class-D students as she bodily dragged them around. One of them tore her arm off of his and swung her around, "Don't think you can do whatever you want just because you're in Class-A!" He shoved her backwards, tripping her over a camera cord and sending her stumbling for a light scaffold.

"Renge-san!" Haruhi dashed forward and just managed to interpose herself between the framework and Renge's body. The two slammed into the structure, which shuddered with the impact, but fortunately it didn't collapse. Haruhi dropped to the ground clutching at her shoulder, then pressed a hand to her face as Renge stood frozen in shock.

"Hey!" Takeshi, Hikaru and Kaoru all rushed forward to pin the two Class-D students.

"What was that for, that was dangerous!" Kaoru shouted as he grabbed at one of the students.

"You could have gotten Haruhi hurt!" said Hikaru as he grabbed the other one.

Takeshi reached the two girls and squatted, "Fujioka-san?"

Haruhi waved a hand dismissively, "It's nothing, Takeshi-sempai. I'm alright."

Takeshi ran a critical eye over her, then nodded as he stood back up. "That's good..." he muttered as he stalked over to the twins.

Tamaki ran around the corner of the building at that moment, "Haruhi? What happened just now?" He dashed forward, then slid to a stop as Haruhi lifted her head to present watery, tear-filled eyes. He spun towards the Class-D students, "Who–?"

He paused as he found two already cowering in terror as Takeshi rounded on them with the Hannya. Hikaru and Kaoru were both off to the side, gasping for breath at the very close-call they had just received.

""You idiot!"" they shouted. ""Wait for us to get out of the way first!""

Seeing that the two were being properly dealt with, Tamaki knelt in front of Haruhi and lifted her chin. "Haruhi...?"

"I'm alright, Tamaki-sempai," she replied as she rubbed at her eyes. She blinked as a small disk fell into her hands. "The impact just shifted my contacts."

"... Oh. Your... contacts... " Tamaki breathed a sigh of relief.

Renge's eyes were wide as she stared at the tender, _climactic_ scene before her. She shivered and clenched her hands. "Camera crew!" she cried out, spinning around. "Did you get that?"

"Yes boss!" they replied. "We got it all!"

"Perfect! Now we just need Kyouya-sama's heartfelt speech and we can edit that in to–"

_*CRUNCH*_

"My camera!" the operator cried.

Renge stared in disbelief, "Kyouya-sama? Why?"

"I'm terribly sorry," Kyouya said. He was no longer smiling, his expression cold and serious. "But we cannot leave any evidence of violent behaviors demonstrated by our Club's members."

"But... but... "

"Furthermore," he continued, "it's very unpleasant of you to be causing this kind of trouble for us."

"But, why?" Renge looked stricken. "Kyouya-sama, if it was Kyouya-sama, he should be saying 'Don't worry about it'. And he'd pat my head lovingly. And..."

"That's not the _real _Kyouya," Tamaki smoothly interrupted. "And we wouldn't have it any other way."

"I wouldn't mind if Kyouya-sempai was like how she described him," Hikaru commented.

Kaoru shrugged, "Eh, it was fun while it lasted, but it got boring awfully quickly."

_"Reinterpreting the personalities of our hosts for your own amusement..."_ Takeshi began.

Haruhi grabbed his hand with her own and he quickly shut up with a wince.

"You're far too good at that," Hikaru said suspiciously.

Haruhi gave him an innocent look, then let go of Takeshi and moved foward to stand before Renge. "It's nice to have various reasons to fall in love," she said. "But I think it's more fun to get to know the person, little by little, by seeing their true personality.

"Don't you think?" she smiled brightly at the other girl.

Renge hiccupped to clear he crying and looked around at the other club members. There was no censure in their eyes, perhaps mild annoyance in Hikaru's, but otherwise they seemed to easily accept her own quirks. She hiccupped again and bowed her head, "I'm sorry to have caused you so much trouble..."

* * *

><p>"Well, that was a complete waste of time," Hikaru complained.<p>

"Completely," Kaoru agreed.

"It was a horrible act, what kind of people would like seeing us in those interpretations?" Hikaru grumbled.

"I made sure to copy the recordings before I destroyed Houshakuji-san's copies," Kyouya said. "Sales of the resulting DVDs are going quite well."

"". . .""

"I made sure to edit out the violent portions, of course," Kyouya stared over at Takeshi. "My editor nearly had to be taken to a hospital when trying to edit out your parts after he suffered a mild seizure. What _did_ you do?"

"Family secret," Takeshi said evasively.

"What kind of family teaches their children to wage psychological warfare with a glance?" Hikaru exclaimed.

"Hikaru, be nice!" Haruhi admonished.

"That reminds me, Fujioka-san," Takeshi said.

" 'Haruhi-san'," she said absently.

"How can you tell those two apart? I think I've figured out that their hair parts on different sides of their head, but you seem to be able to figure them out even if they change their hairstyles."

"Hmm," she pressed a finger to her lips thoughtfully. "I suppose Hikaru always says things with a bit more malice than Kaoru does."

Kaoru burst into a chuckle, then covered his mouth as Hikaru turned to glare at him. "Sorry, Hikaru..."

"I'll make this very clear," Hikaru said, raising his voice slightly. "It only seems that way because I don't like to hide my thoughts, unlike a certain hypocritical person here."

The room fell quiet as they turned to stare at the couch the twins were perched on.

"And if we were to talk about evil personalities," Hikaru continued, "that's really Kaoru's forte."

"Please don't spout such nonsense, Hikaru," Kaoru replied. His own voice was now lacking any signs of amusement. "I'm the one who always has to deal with the fallout of your own stubborn ways."

"Uh... " Haruhi blinked in confusion.

"My stubborn ways?" Hikaru pointedly looked away from Kaoru. "I might make up the ideas for the pranks we pull, but it's you who finds the best way to execute it for maximum effectiveness on our victims."

"I'm only doing exactly what you would do, you're still the one to think up all the ideas." Kaoru threw an amused smirk at his twin. "Besides, you even came up with the 'toy' idea. Could it be that you just wanted an excuse to 'play' around with Haruhi yourself?"

"What?" Haruhi said.

"What?" Takeshi said.

"WHAT?" Tamaki shouted.

"What are you saying?" Hikaru scoffed. "You really are an idiot, how could I like that tanuki-like character?"

"This is so heavenly!" Renge clutched her hands together dreamily. "It's an honest-to-goodness love-triangle! No, a love-polyhedron! With men! I can die happy now!"

""You're still here?"" the twins exclaimed. ""Get lost, Otaku.""

Renge broke down into tears as Haruhi stepped over to comfort her.

"Thanks to you, now she thinks we're a bunch of homos!" Kaoru shouted.

"What? Me? Who's the one that tries to join me in bed while I'm asleep?"

"That was only because I thought you were lonely!"

"Um, guys? You're not helping your case here," Takeshi pointed out. Mentally he shook his head. _I am getting _far_ too used to this if that's the only reaction I have to that..._

The twins glared at each other for several minutes before they jabbed an arm at each other. ""Sever all ties!""

Kyouya looked flipped through his notebook and looked over his glasses, "If this affects sales, I'll be adding the losses to your debt."

Haruhi blinked, "Eh?"


	60. EC: Ouran 07

**Emiya Clan – Ouran 07**

* * *

><p>Takeshi didn't think too deeply into the verbal sparring between the brothers. Fights happened all the time between his siblings, but rarely had it permanently affected relations in the family. While they did tend to quickly escalate until physical blows were traded, such duels were easily resolved with the victor – or <em>victors;<em>his siblings tended to gang up on each other at times – often having won the argument itself. More often than not, the disputes that resulted in bitter feuds that could last for weeks were generally between the grownups.

So, having cleared the argument from his mind, Takeshi settled in for lunch the next day with his usual routine. Weeks ago he had found the perfect location: an outdoor bench in the shade, protected from the wind by the buildings around him. He brought with him a hand-made bento made by Father, or Mother, or Gil-ojisan, or Sakura-kaasan – whoever happened to wake up first and declare the Main Kitchen their domain – and the notes for the afternoon classes in his hand. Smart as he was, Takeshi had no illusions about his standings compared to the rest of the school; in fact Honey, Mori, Kyouya, and even Tamaki had better scores than he did at their grade levels. Judging by her current performance, Haruhi also seemed poised to challenge Kyouya's own first-year records. So, chopsticks in one hand and a well-organized notebook in the other, he settled in for another peaceful lunch-study period.

"Takeshi-kun!"

Of course the very act of thinking about it just begged the world to invoke Murphy's Law. Takeshi sighed as a plush bunny was shoved in front of his face. "Yes, Hani-kun?" he asked as he looked into the blonde's worried face.

"Hika-chan and Kao-chan are fighting in the dining hall!" Honey replied. "They still haven't made up!"

Even after having the whole night to sort it out? "I see," he said as he reluctantly packed up his bento and school bag. There was no real point in arguing with Honey, so he might as well save some time in the hopes he could continue afterwards. "So why did you come to get me?"

"Because they're one of us," Honey said confidently. "Takashi went to get Tama-chan and Kyo-chan. C'mon! They're in the cafeteria!" He bounced down the hallway, Takeshi following at a brisk walk. They had barely gone ten meters when Honey, in the middle of one of his hop-skip-leaps that he liked to move around with, accidentally flung Usa-chan to the ground ahead of him, where a female student along the same path tripped over it.

"Ah! Sorry!" he said as he skidded to a stop. "Are you okay?"

Takeshi frowned as he reached them, the girl was dressed in a first-year's uniform, her long black hair was draped over her face. Takeshi shrugged and continued walking past them. This was Honey's problem to deal with. "You said they were in the dining hall?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah!" Honey confirmed. He turned back to the student to offer a hand, "Ne, you're not hurt are you?"

Whatever the girl's reply was, if she ever made one, was lost as Takeshi reached the main building's side entrance and stepped through the door.

**ooo**

"I'm not going to say it," Takeshi said. "Even though I really, _really_ want to..."

He stood in disbelief at the sight of the Hitachiin brothers both standing in the cafeteria line. Apparently in their desire to avoid comparisons with each other, they were trying to order completely different meal sets from the servers.

""Set A meal for me."" They glared at each other as they realized they had ordered identically.

""Scratch that, give me the Set B,"" they simultaneously corrected. They both narrowed their eyes back at each other.

Haruhi walked up to him as the two continued requesting more and more outlandish orders. "They've been like this all day," she answered his 'unspoken' question with a weary sigh. "They were also answering the questions in class at the same time, then retaliated by pulling pranks on each other. It really made me wish I wasn't seated in between them... "

"I see," Takeshi said. "And the hair?"

""Set B appetizer with the Set D salad combo. Hold the sauce and replace it with the Set A topping!"" Hot-pink hair stood on end as one of the twins glared at his opposite. The other's neon-blue hair was similarly raised in annoyance. ""And the Set A soft drink with the Set E tea! Argh... stop copying me!""

"To avoid being mistaken for the other, apparently." Haruhi set her mouth into a thin line. "They were also attacking each other in the hallways, but the other always managed to avoid it, so some random student passing by would get hit."

Takeshi's glare hardened as Mori arrived with Tamaki and Kyouya in tow. The blonde immediately tore into the two, berating them for sullying the reputation of the Host Club and all but ordering them to stand down. Honey had arrived at that point, trying to make peace his own way, which naturally involved cake. Unsurprisingly, he got side-tracked by the pastry himself, resulting in Mori quickly pulling him away from the twins, leaving them in a worse mood than they already were in.

"Well, it looks like it's dying down so I should settle in for my own lunch," his prospective Ashikabi was saying. She sighed, "I was looking forward to a quiet time to review my homework too... "

Takeshi didn't respond, but his eyes betrayed his surprise at their parallel thought process. He spun around to find his own table, only to find a grinning cloaked figure blocking his way.

"Takeshi Emiya-kun, I've heard so much about you," the other student said as he waved his hand puppet in greeting. "I don't think we've been properly introduced, I am Umehito Nekozawa, a third-year student like yourself, and President of the Black Magic Club."

"Ah," Takeshi nodded. "Tamaki-kun has mentioned you on occasion, he has told us quite a bit, actually. Mostly how you seem to have cursed him for several days on end after he accidentally stepped on your puppet here."

Despite being unable to see the upper part of his face, hidden as it was by the light-blocking cloak he wore, Takeshi had the distinct impression Nekozawa's expression had darkened. "Beelzenef is certainly a powerful patron of the Nekozawa family," he said silkily. "Suoh-kun certainly brought a horrible curse upon himself with that act."

Takeshi nodded noncommitally. Throughout Tamaki's account of the terrible curse that had been placed upon him, Kyouya had pointed out the various circumstances his classmate was attributing to the supposed curse. Tamaki had been convinced he had been bewitched into being unable to read the exam given that day, nor able to recognize any of his classmates. Kyouya had explained that Tamaki – being distraught at the mere _idea_ of being cursed – had accidentally wandered into a third-year Greek Language class in the middle of their own test. There was always the possibility that Nekozawa really could influence coincidence to that degree, but it was far more likely Tamaki had overreacted and that the student in front of him was just an occult-obsessed youth.

"Speaking of curses, I have heard interesting things about Emiya-kun," Nekozawa continued. "A man capable of casting terrifying curses with but a glance, such an ability would be _well _suited for our club. Would you like to join us? We can offer you the use of powerful artifacts once you are a member."

Takeshi's voice noticeably cooled, "Artifacts?" Had he underestimated this student? Some of his Father's freelance work for the Mage's Association often involved tracking down cursed objects – long created by Dead Apostles and having somehow made their way into unprepared human hands – and either destroying them outright or retrieving them for proper containment. If Nekozawa's Black Magic Club had somehow gotten a hold of one of these, then he was a very dangerous threat to the peace of this school, or even the surrounding city.

"Yes, powerful totems such as... _this!_" Nekozawa pulled a hand out of his sleeves to display a wooden carving shaped very similarly to the Beelzenef doll on his hand, right down to the goofy eyes. "_This _is a powerful cursed item, if you write the name of a person on the back, it becomes linked to the soul of your victim and curses them, dooming them to a life of misfortune and misery!"

...Or the President of the Black Magic Club was every bit the goofball his own club's president was, and just as harmless. It did make him wonder if Nekozawa's supposed light-sensitivity was real or part of his act, however.

"Nekozawa-kun," Takeshi said evasively, "unfortunately I do not possess any 'curses' that you would find suitable for your purposes. The alleged technique you attribute to me is nothing more than a harmless glare backed up by some fighting intent."

The hooded student frowned, "Fighting intent?"

Takeshi nodded, "You seem to be familiar with the members of the Host Club. Tell me, have you ever had the misfortune of being present when Hani-kun is being woken from one of his naps?"

Nekozawa shivered, giving Takeshi all the answer he needed. "Ah, yes, I see your point. But is that really true? Even given that experience for comparison, anecdotal evidence suggests yours is much more–"

"Fighting intent," Takeshi repeated stubbornly. He noticed Haruhi had been joined at her table by Hikaru and Kaoru, and now both of them were arguing with her sandwiched between them. "I'm sorry, we'll have to continue this later," he said as he pushed his way past the hooded figure.

He noticed Tamaki was yelling at the twins again, this time it was something about Haruhi's own homemade bento compared to the twins' gourmet meals. He reached the table just in time to see Kaoru throw his soup at Hikaru. His twin promptly grabbed hold of Tamaki's uniform, yanking the hapless blonde forward in time for him to take the flying dish to the face. Hikaru narrowed his eyes as he pushed Tamaki away, then grabbed his salad bowl and chucked it at his brother.

In moments, a full-fledged food-fight was on as the two brothers grabbed anything and everything in reach to hurl at the other. Food, dishes, silverwear, furniture, even Honey's Usa-chan somehow got mixed with the rest of the ammunition. Takeshi blinked with the sudden realization that both boys were apparently much stronger than they appeared, a fact that was proven seconds later as Honey himself got caught and thrown through the air as he tried to retrieve his plushie.

Takeshi sighed and absent-mindedly snatched a wayward knife out of the air before it could hit him in the head.

**ooo**

After school, during the hours the Host Club would normally be in session, the door was locked and a sign was in place to let their customers know not to expect any activities for the day. Inside, all of the Hosts with the exception of the twins were seated around a long conference table. With more than half their number involved in the food fight, they had been held back after school to clean up the mess that had been made of the dining hall. All of them were exhausted, though Kyouya still presented an immaculate image as he used a hand calculator and typed a few notes into his laptop.

"If this continues, we'll have to withdraw the 'Brotherly-Love' package from our offered courses; that will definitely reduce our designation requests by the customers." Kyouya pulled off his glasses to wipe them with a handkerchief. He closed his eyes with a sigh and cracked one back open, "Haruhi, don't feel bad about this development."

Haruhi lifted her head from where she had it resting in her arms, "Hm?"

He smiled as he replaced his glasses, "Even if this whole situation was touched off by your _thoughtless comparison _between the two, I assure you that I do not blame you in the _slightest._"

Takeshi saw Haruhi pale as she stared at the Shadow King, though he couldn't blame her. That smile could possibly give Chiho a run for her money. "I take it this doesn't happen often," he commented.

"No," Honey said quietly. "I've known Hika-chan and Kao-chan since kindergarten. Even back then, they were always playing alone by themselves. I don't think I've _ever_ seen them fight with each other, not even once."

"It's true," Tamaki confirmed. "I only met them when they were still in middle school, but they were always the odd ones out. Their world basically just consisted of themselves." He chuckled, "I suppose this fight is actually good for them. They're expressing themselves, which means they're slowly coming out of their shells. Their world view is expanding."

"So we just leave them alone?" Takeshi asked.

"Yes, I think that would be the best," replied the taller blonde.

"I don't know..." Haruhi had a fist pressed to her mouth. "If this is their first serious fight with each other, then we probably should intervene, and fast."

"What do you mean?" Kyouya looked up from his computer.

"If they've never had a real fight, then they probably don't know when it's time to cut their losses and call a truce. They don't know how far is too far, and they might say or do something which can't be easily forgiven." Haruhi had a determined expression on her face as she looked each of the other Hosts in the eye. "Somebody should tell them to quit."

Takeshi opened his mouth to contradict her, but then closed it as he thought her argument through. In his experience, very few of the children in his family had serious fights with each other, but when he thought about it, most of that may had been due to growing up in a household where Gilgamesh was a dominant authority figure. Uncle Gil provided a common enemy to band against for pretty much... everybody. Since Gil treated the entire household equally – albeit equally _bad_ – most of the children in the Clan had grown up with fairly thick skins. It almost became tradition of sorts, Gil would traumatize the younger children until they either learned to ignore it, or banded together to strike back.

For Hikaru and Kaoru, assuming they were as prank-happy and condescending as children as they were now, Takeshi could easily imagine them driving their own relatives into insanity. Heck, Riko and Karin managed to pull that off even with the Clan already wise to their natures. However, assuming the Hitachiins didn't have their own constant authority figure to knock them down a few pegs, he could see how they had grown up with an 'Us vs. the World' sort of mentality.

"So, where are they now?" he asked. The other five Hosts turned to look at him and a small part of him was very pleased to note his potential Ashikabi had a thankful smile on her face for backing up her suggestion.

Almost as if that had been a signal, the doors to the club room burst open and the two individuals in question chased each other inside. Each carried an armful of various rubbish and started throwing them at each other almost as soon as they had crossed the threshold.

"Hikaru, Kaoru!" Tamaki barked out. "This bickering is pointless, stop troubling everybody with your childish antics!" He quickly turned towards Haruhi, his eyes like a puppy looking to his master to see if his trick had been well received. His face fell as their response sounded from behind him.

"We're troubling everybody?" Hikaru scoffed. "_We_ are troubling everybody? If anybody is troubled it's _me_. I'm the one who has to share the same face with Kaoru over there!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" his twin snarled.

"It means that I'm sick and tired of people mistaking me for you!" Hikaru glared. "Truth be told, this is all your fault! I _absolutely _hate you most of all!"

Kaoru's eyes widened. "That's _my _line," he hissed. "I'm sick of always being compared to you! Look at this," he reached into his jacket and pulled out a small wooden figurine.

Takeshi dropped his face into his hand.

"I bought this from Nekozawa-sempai, a Beelzenef cursed doll!" Kaoru brandished the grinning cat figurine and whipped out a permanent marker. He started scribbling across its back, "I'm writing your name on this thing's back, Hikaru."

Hikaru flinched, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Haruhi's head was lowered, Takeshi could barely make out her low voice. "Hey now, that's going too far... "

The pen clattered to the ground, Kaoru raising the figurine triumphantly. "Now you're cursed to suffer a lifetime of misfortune and sorrow!"

A chair crashed to the floor. Takeshi and the others looked over, but Haruhi was already in motion, dashing over to the twins and bringing a fist to crash down on both of their heads. She quickly snatched the figurine out of Kaoru's hands. "Knock it off!" she shouted. "Don't bring something this dangerous into a stupid quarrel! You're both at fault here, but dragging the people who care about you into it is even worse!"

The twins stared at her with wide eyes as she lectured them.

"I agree with Haruhi-san," Takeshi said, walking up to her in a show of solidarity. "Siblings shouldn't be fighting over something like this, and any disputes within a family shouldn't spill over to outsiders."

"So, apologize to everyone, right now," she demanded. "You guys wanted to visit my house? Well I can tell you straight up that if you don't make up this instant, you two will _never_ set foot in my home in this lifetime."

They stared at the two for a long few moments. Their vulnerable expressions slightly unnerved Takeshi, it just wasn't what he had come to expect from them.

""Then... ""

He blinked, was that a grin on their faces? He shivered again for an entirely different reason.

""So, if we do make up, we can come over to your homes for a visit?"" They leaned forward and dropped companionable arms around both students' shoulders.

"Wait, what?" Haruhi blinked. She looked down at her hand, still holding the Beelzenef figurine, and flipped it around. The word 'blank' was written on the back, effectively voiding out whatever curse there might have been.

Takeshi's face went ashen. "_Homes?"_ Plural? He suddenly noticed a small booklet in Hikaru's pocket and pulled it out. Hikaru let him, following the motion with amused eyes. The notebook was titled 'Script'.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru suddenly wailed and grabbed his twin., "I'm so sorry! Even though I was following the script we wrote, those words I said were really too much! I'm not fit to be your brother!"

"Don't say that," Kaoru tearfully embraced his brother. "If anything, I was the one worried what would happen if I hurt you, Hikaru!"

"Kaoru, I swear I'll never leave you alone, never again!"

_"Hikaru!"_

Haruhi, Takeshi, and the rest of the Hosts were completely speechless. Kyouya was scribbling notes onto his clipboard.

"Now _that_ was a proper script fit for the Hitachiin twins!" Hikaru proclaimed proudly.

"_Much _better than that simple trash Otaku-chan wrote," Kaoru added smugly, "Wouldn't you say?"

_We've been had!_ Haruhi and Takeshi both thought in horror.

""Ne, Kyouya-sempai,"" the twins spun around as a single unit. ""We got permission to visit Emiya-sempai and Haruhi's houses, what do you say?""

"Excellent work," the Shadow King adjusted his glasses. "As a reward, I've decided not to penalize you for today's lost earnings."

"You _knew_ about this?" Takeshi exclaimed, aghast.

"No," Kyouya admitted, "it _was _a rather convincing performance. However, I am not the type of person to pass up an opportunity, nor one to be stingy with rewarding a task I wished to have completed."

Takeshi twitched and took several long steps away from Haruhi. His mind had just suffered extreme shock and he was now in no condition to ignore the pounding headache brought on by his lapse in control. _These two..._ he thought darkly. _These two could give my sisters a run for their money. They... they're Devils._ He suddenly blinked as he realized what he had just agreed to.

_Visit my _house_?_

His headache spiked at the thought and he passed out.

**ooo**

The next day, everything was back to normal. Hikaru and Kaoru were – unfortunately – back to their normal selves, entertaining their customers with their favorite game.

""Which one of us is Hikaru~?"" they proclaimed in a sing-song tone.

...Except the two of them hadn't even returned their hair back to their normal colors. From his own table, Takeshi shook his head as he returned his attention to his own groupies.

"um... Hikaru is the one with the pink hair, right?" one of the girls timidly asked.

""We have a winner!"" they cried. The girls all squealed happily.

"Even though you two have made up, I suppose it takes a while for the hair dye to wash out," mused one of the girls.

"Even so, it makes it much easier to tell them apart," said another.

"Eh? You two switched?" Haruhi paused as she walked past. "Kaoru, why do you have pink hair now?"

"Ehh? Is that true?" one of the girls wailed.

"Haruhi-kun really knows them well," said another shocked customer.

"". . ."" Both the twins and Takeshi stared as Haruhi spun on her heel with a smile and resumed heading for the bar to fetch drinks for her customers.

"Takeshi-kun?"

He shook his head as smiled at the girls sitting across from him. He made banal, flowery conversation with his guest, but his mind was elsewhere. Tamaki had said their world was small. He, himself, had assumed the twins carried an 'Us vs. Them' sort of mentality. Judging by how the two were continuing to stare at their fellow Host even as their clients tried to regain their attention, he wondered if it hadn't evolved into 'Us plus Haruhi Fujioka'.

Suddenly he saw the idea flipped, _he _had been seeing the school – as well as much of the surrounding city – in terms of 'The Clan vs Everyone Else'. _They_ weren't fellow magi or half-aliens. _They_ were not ready to know his true level of ability or his goals in life. _They_ were not fit to know the truth of his family. Haruhi was not a friend, but a _'prospective Ashikabi'_. He liked to think he was more emotionally balanced, but was he any better off than those two?

It... it was something he would have to think about.


	61. EC: Ouran 08

**Emiya Clan – Ouran 08**

* * *

><p>Takeshi found his father seated in his office, going through the daily reports Takami-obaasan had sent to him for review. He knocked on the doorframe to get Shirou's attention, then leaned against the archway as the other man looked up. "Hey, Dad? Could I use the Fuyuki-house this coming weekend?"<p>

"What do you need it for?" Shirou asked as he continued to flip through the stack of paperwork.

"I, ah, accidentally invited my classmates over to 'my house', and I'd rather they didn't," Takeshi muttered. "Actually come over, that is."

"Why not?" Shirou frowned, "If it's the girls, I can ask them to behave themselves."

Takeshi shook his head, "I'm not worried about that... well actually – now that I think about it – I am. I just want to limit the Club's exposure to, well, us."

"Us?" Shirou gave his eldest son a piercing stare.

Takeshi looked uncharacteristically flustered. "I mean, I'm not comfortable with most of my classmates finding out about our true nature."

"True nature," his father repeated. "Explain that."

"Well, that half of us are magi," Takeshi pointed out. "And the other half are... simply not human."

"And how would your suggestion resolve this 'problem'?" Shirou asked.

"Well, to begin with, we could limit the amount of family members they interact with. Maybe just you, Mom, and myself. You said yourself Kaa-san pretended to be human for most of her life before she met you, and you know how to hide your own abilities when the situation calls for it."

"Nobody else?"

"That's all the people I think we should need," Takeshi suggested.

"No, that's all the people I think you trust," Shirou clarified. He watched as his son flinched at the subtle accusation and lowered his head. Shirou leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms. "I think you're doing your family a disservice, Takeshi. I think you're doing even worse to your friends. I'll grant you that we're not your usual ordinary family by any stretch of imagination, but that's still a big jump between somebody thinking we're just a family of oddballs to somebody who will begin to treat us as a threat."

Takeshi's head came up, "I don't feel threatened by my classmates."

"But you're still worried about bringing them home."

"Well, yes. Isn't that normal in our situation?"

Shirou sighed. "Takeshi, did any of Kaien's classmates react badly to Deviluke-san and her sisters?"

"Well, no, but their school also had several other extra-terrestrials enrolled so I'm sure they were used to—"

"What about Chisame and her school?"

"Their teacher is a magus, but they didn't know about us until recently so—"

"And Kyon and his club members?"

"... Isn't keeping us a secret from his Ashikabi an inviolable rule?"

"Right, that one's a bad example." Shirou leaned forward and rested his arms on the desk before him. "Takeshi, the only way we could keep our existence a complete secret is to completely cut ourselves off from society. Doing that is bad for our mental health, and for those of us who choose to go forth and protect others, it's important to maintain ties to the people around us. Otherwise we might as well live in an ivory tower and just stay disconnected from the world."

"Us versus them," Takeshi said quietly.

"Right." Shirou pointed off in the general direction where Kaien's Ashikabi had set up her transdimensional residence. "Yes, I want to _limit _the amount of people who are allowed to get close to us, but I don't want our family growing up in isolation. By allowing ourselves visitors, yes we have slightly increased the numbers of our enemies; but on the other hand, we've also gained larger numbers of people we can call close friends of the family. In Kaien's case, we have possible alliances in progress with multiple _planets_. In Chisame's case, we've earned the respect of the Kyoto Branch of the Mage's Association, as well as the leaders of _Mundus Magicus._" Shirou suddenly scribbled a quick note to himself. "Remind me to ask Lorelei what steps the Clock Tower has taken to open diplomatic ties with them..." he muttered.

Takeshi cleared his throat.

"My point," Shirou said, sitting up straight, "is that I think you're overreacting. So, no, you don't get the house. If your friends want to come over, let them; just let us know ahead of time. And Takeshi?"

"Hm?"

"Whether or not your friends are ready to know everything is for you – and you alone – to decide. I trust your judgement."

Takeshi nodded, resigned. "If you say so, Tou-san."

**ooo**

Haruhi found the other Club members already gathered at the directions Takeshi had provided them. It was a relatively quiet street several blocks away from the downtown area, close enough to the population centers for easy shopping, yet far enough away that there was not much foot traffic. There didn't appear to be any houses or apartments nearby, just a long row of well maintained but otherwise abandoned-looking buildings. She frowned and rechecked the address, noticing the twins and Kyouya were also scowling at their own sheets of paper.

Honey bounced over as she walked up, "Haru-chan! You made it!"

"I guess I did," she said uncertainly. "Is this the right place?"

"Apparently so," Kyouya said as he adjusted his glasses. "This is where Emiya-sempai requested we meet."

"And right on time," said a new voice. They all looked over to see Takeshi walking up to them. Like the others, he was dressed in casual clothing; but where the other hosts – aside from Haruhi – were decked out in fashionable, brand-name attire, Takeshi sported a simple long-sleeved shirt and slightly faded jeans. He looked around at the assembled group and spun on his heel. "Follow me closely, my house is just this way."

""We're not going to take a car?"" The twins asked. Hikaru gave a meaningful look around the street. "I don't see any houses in walking distance."

Takeshi waited until they all stepped after him before he answered. "There's an interesting quality about the house's architecture," he said slowly. "If you don't know exactly where to look, your eye just sort of... slides past it without seeing anything." He continued walking in silence for about a minute, then lifted an arm to point to the side. "Like that."

Haruhi looked in the indicated direction, then her eyes widened as she took in the sight of an absolutely ginormous mansion. There were a few exclamations from he rest of the Host Club, though from the sound of it they were less impressed with the size of the building and more surprised they hadn't noticed something this large so close by.

"Waa~h." Honey bounced excitedly, "Takeshi-kun's house looks very nice!"

Kyouya narrowed his eyes. "I'm very interested in seeing the plans for the building's architecture. That was a remarkable demonstration."

""Meh, our place is bigger."" The twins shrugged their shoulders, clearly unimpressed.

Takeshi looked somewhat embarrassed. "This is the side entrance."

""Ooh...""

Haruhi grimaced. _Damn rich kids..._

Takeshi made his way to the gated entrance and swung it open. He stood in the entrance, blocking the others' way as he paused. "Before you guys enter, I should warn you that you might find my family a bit... odd."

"How odd?" Tamaki asked curiously.

"Some of them would give the twins a run for their money."

""Challenge accepted,"" the two chorused.

Tamaki shivered.

Takeshi finally pushed his way in, allowing the others to follow him. "Oh, and beware of the dog."

**ooo**

_"Tadaima~"_ Takeshi called as he stepped through the door. He'd made sure to let everybody know they should expect guests and had also let them know when he was leaving to meet the group. He expected a few of the more curious ones to show up.

Miya was waiting at the entrance for him, ready to play the gracious hostess. Nobody else appeared to be around, but he didn't put it past Matsu or Karin to be watching from the safety of some faraway room. Doubtless they were also streaming their camera feeds to some of the other parents and siblings, respectively.

Miya bowed to the Host Club as they entered. "Welcome to our house. I am Miya Emiya, Takeshi's mother. Thank you for taking good care of my son," she said with another bow.

Tamaki graciously stepped forward and took one of her hands in his own. "I assure you, Madam, that the pleasure is all ours. Your son is a valued member of our club and a good friend to us all. I can finally see why, after witnessing your own breath-taking beauty and grace in person. Your husband must be a lucky man."

Miya lifted her free hand to her mouth and tittered. "Ara ara, what a charming young man; you certainly know how to make a lady blush." Her smile remained the same but the air darkened around her slightly. "However, please do limit your exuberance while you are guests here. Lewd acts in the Emiya Mansion are forbidden."

Tamaki, Honey, and the twins reflexively yelped and dove for cover. Almost immediately afterwards, the air returned to its normal brightness.

"Ah, good," Miya said. "Takeshi has trained you all properly, I see."

Haruhi quirked an eyebrow at Takeshi. "I think I can see the relation," she quipped.

Miya smiled and raised an arm to the nearby doorway. "If you'll follow me this way, we can introduce you to some of the others."

Eyes wide, the other Club members stared between Takeshi and his mother, but followed her without further comment.

Takeshi, for his part, kept a polite smile on his face as they all shuffled past, then grimaced slightly after their backs were all turned.

**ooo**

Haruhi watched as Kyouya cleaned his glasses with a handkerchief, then set them back on his face with a frown. "Emiya-san–"

"Please, call me 'Miya', it will be much less confusing that way."

"Miya-san, then," Kyouya corrected. "but are you familiar with a Sakura Emiya? Is she perhaps a sister of yours?"

"She is not, but she is part of this family." Miya gestured towards the room they were approaching. "Fortunately it is a weekend, so I think you might get to meet almost everybody."

As they rounded the corner, Haruhi nearly ran into Tamaki's back as the club members in front of her suddenly stopped in the archway. "Ah! What the-?"

"Everyone, meet Takashi's schoolmates," she heard Takeshi's mother say.

""Hello!"" came a chorus of voices. A very_ large_ chorus of voices.

She moved around until she could peek through the doorway and froze in stunned disbelief as she saw a whole roomful of people turned their way. They ranged from school-aged children, to young adults, to middle-aged grownups. Each person wore almost wildly different clothing and different hairstyles, she saw a few other purple-haired individuals, but for the most part there were mostly quite a few blondes, brunettes, and redheads scattered around.

She sensed Takeshi moving up behind her before he cleared his throat with a cough. "Ah, guys?" He waved out his arm to take in the room as a whole, "This... is my family."

If Haruhi had any doubts that her life had been anything but normal, this moment cleared all of her uncertainty away. Ever since she had enrolled into Ouran she'd felt as if her life was some weird shoujo manga. A literal gathering of good-looking guys, each with an odd personality quirk. It was like a reverse harem in real life. A small part of her wondered which unlucky girl happened to be the focus for these boys' attentions, but the closest person she could think of would be Renge-san.

However despite all that, she was certain this topped the list of strange things she had seen. Desperate to find some shred of normalcy in the situation, she turned towards her sempai. "Please tell me this is an orphanage and all those women are the day-care workers."

Takeshi slowly shook his head.

**ooo**

Honey was fairly happy with the situation. There were lots of interesting people to meet, lots of interesting stories from all the children of the Emiya Clan. Most importantly, however, was that in preparation for their guests, some thoughtful person had prepared a whole table full of treats. Doubtless it was meant to last for the whole day, but Honey was not one to leave a sweet-looking pastry alone, much less an entire table full of them.

As he munched happily on his latest acquisition, he saw a tall, slender woman navigate her way through the crowd. She was dressed in a comfortable looking black sweater and slacks, with her long purple hair tied near the tip with a matching black silk ribbon. "Haninozuka-kun, was it?" she asked.

Honey mumbled happily in confirmation, then swallowed. "That's me! Are you another one of Takeshi-kun's mothers?"

The woman nodded, staring intently at him. "Medusa Emiya, though I mostly go by 'Rider'."

"That's fine, I prefer people to call me 'Honey'."

"Honey-kun," Rider said. She stared at him in silence for a few more moments, then quietly spoke up, "Forgive me for asking, but are you really eighteen years old?"

"Yep!" he said happily as he cut away another slice of cake. Then he ate the cake, leaving the tiny-looking slice on the plate. "I may not look it, but I'm the oldest one in the Club!" Rider watched him for a few more moments as he demolished the rest of the sweet, then an odd look came over her face. Honey paused as he tried to catalog the expression. It was almost crestfallen? Regretful? Envious? A mix of all three?

"Rider-san?" he asked quietly.

"How...?" she suddenly said with a short choking sound. "How are you so _small?_"

Honey stared in confusion as the tall woman suddenly broke into quiet sobs.

**ooo**

Mori held himself very, very still. It was not because he was scared, nor was it because he was overwhelmed. Though the revelation of Takeshi's family certainly merited a surprised reaction, he'd easily, calmly took it in stride. No, the reason he was in this state was because a tiny little blonde girl had crawled into his lap and promptly fallen asleep.

"Hm? It seems she really likes you," said a kindly voice. Mori looked up to see a petite woman smiling down at the dozing toddler. Her dress was in soft shades of green and she had an unruly mop of long blonde hair cascading from her head. "You must be the type of person who easily makes friends with animals, aren't you?"

Mori thought about the small bird and tanuki he kept as pets at his house. ". . . Perhaps," he said quietly. He moved an arm over the child, ready to scoop her from his lap. He stopped as the woman raised a hand.

"Don't worry about little Ichigo," she said. "She seems happy enough where she is." Green eyes glanced around the large room, them focused back on his own. "Or would you rather go rejoin your friends?"

". . . I'm fine," Mori said after a few moments reflection.

"Ah," she said, sounding pleased. "Well, just let me know if you need anything then." She turned away slightly, then paused and turned to face him again. "By the way, are you the one with the swords?"

". . . What?"

**ooo**

Kyouya turned towards the window, staring out at the field outside as he lifted his cellphone to his ear. "Yes?"

_"Young Master,"_ the voice of his head guard, Tachibana answered. _"There is a young female student wandering outside around the street. She seems to be unable to locate your position exactly, but we have watched her pacing back and forth for the last half-hour."_

"Can you identify her?" Kyouya fought to keep the irritation from his voice. He'd been in a sour mood ever since he had realized the extent of the gap in his information regarding Takeshi Emiya. Not only had he apparently misinterpreted the facts before him, he had not even known of the existence of this residence. From his survey of the surrounding view from the windows, he judged the property took up a relatively large proportion of Shin-Tokyo. How a residential complex of this size had escaped his attention was completely beyond him.

And now his guards were reporting a random passerby accomplishing a task they themselves were unable to complete, having tracked or followed the Host Club successfully to this location. He apparently was unable to fully hide his anger from his voice, as Tachibana paused slightly before he replied.

_"We don't recognize her, but Aijima was able to get a picture of her. He's mailing it to you now,"_ his head guard reported.

Kyouya's phone chimed a receipt and he ended the conversation with a curt, "Keep me informed." As he called up the picture, he saw a refined looking girl wearing a hooded black cloak. He didn't recognize her on sight either, but something about her seemed familiar enough that he figured she was a student at Ouran. He'd have to remind himself to go through his customer database when he got back home.

"Not enjoying the party?" a voice said from behind him. He waited a three-count before he turned around, so as not to give the impression that he'd been startled. He came face to face with a grinning redheaded woman roughly his height. Her eyes twinkled from behind large glasses as she smoothed down the fabric of her white dress.

"On the contrary," he said, forcing a smile onto his face. "It has been quite an enlightening experience so far."

Something in the woman's smile changed, unnerving him. " 'Enlightening' is not the same thing as 'enjoying'," she said. She held out her hand, "Matsu Emiya."

Kyouya took and shook her hand briefly, "Kyouya Ootori."

"Tell me, Kyouya-tan." He tried not to flinch at her casual form of address. "What do you think of our Takeshi?"

"Fairly intelligent, his behavior is beyond reproach, and he seems to respond quite appropriately to uncommon situations." Kyouya shrugged. "I'm sure he'll do your family proud."

"Good, nice, polite answer," Matsu said. She leaned forward and smiled; if he didn't know any better, he'd say she was smirking at him. "What do you _really_ think about him?"

He arched an eyebrow. "I'm not certain I understand your question," he said carefully.

Matsu leaned back with a slight pout on her face. "Hmm, pity. I would have expected more from someone who is supposed to be compared favorably against Yuuichi-tan and Akito-tan."

Yuuichi, Akito, his elder brothers. His smile faded and he looked at the woman before him with a critical eye. "The identities of my family are a matter of public record. If you're trying to impress me with meaningless trivia, you'll have to do better than that."

"Perhaps." Matsu did not appear to be offended at the accusation in the slightest. "Information, after all, is a matter of knowing where to look and being able to put together the clues correctly. You did pretty well trying to find out about Takeshi, but you only got halfway there, I'm afraid. Pegging Sakura-tan as his mother was quite amusing, you know."

Kyouya stared blankly. Though he'd had his guards searching for information on the woman, he'd never let anyone else know about his theory. His notes had never even left his... "You're quite an accomplished hacker," he concluded, narrowing his eyes. "The security programs on my personal computer are some of the best in the world."

Matsu's grin had returned in full-force. "It was a nice little challenge," she admitted. "But I would hardly say it's amongst the best." She slipped an arm around his and tugged him towards a nearby pair of chairs. "As one information-obsessed person to another, I wouldn't mind helping you out on occasion."

Kyouya let himself be dragged over to a chair and sat down, helping himself to the tea set on the table between them. "What's the catch?" he poured out a second cup. Guest or not, he still thought of himself as a gentleman.

"No catch," she assured him, accepting the cup. "You're Takeshi's friend, and you're here. That practically makes you family already. But if you need something hanging over your head to motivate you..." she shrugged. "I could wreck Ootori Medical with a few well placed viruses, but personally I think that'd be a waste. You could do some great things there, I'm sure."

"You seem convinced I'll be the one my father chooses as his heir." Kyouya did not allow himself to feel any hope along those lines. He was the third son in a powerful family, with highly intelligent elder siblings to go against. In order for the line of succession to fall to him, he would have to greatly impress his father over anything his brothers could do.

"If you don't," Matsu said with a grin, "then I'll be greatly disappointed in you."

He had no hopes for a miracle, but that certainly didn't mean he wasn't going to put forth his best effort to gain recognition. Anything less was unacceptable.

Kyouya stared into his tea for a few moments. "You wouldn't be the only one," he said, taking a sip.

**ooo**

Hikaru and Kaoru found themselves cornered by a quartet of children. Front and center were two girls sporting glasses and identical grins.

The taller one with purple hair spoke first. "So you're the two Takeshi-nii was talking about?"

The twins traded a glance, then looked back at the speaker. ""There are stories about us?""

The redhead nodded, "Oh yeah. He told us you made his life a living hell and came pretty close to driving him absolutely nuts at times."

The other two children, a girl and boy pair, blonde and redhead, nodded in unison. "It really told us something," said the girl. "If Takeshi was still unsettled by you two, even after having to live with Riko and Karin, that says something right there."

The Hitachiin twins shared equally blank expressions. ""Is that supposed to impress us?""

The purple-haired girl, Riko, shared a look with her red-headed sister, Karin. "I don't know, what sort of things did you do to him?"

The two rubbed their chins thoughtfully. ""Well, we usually open up with the 'Which One is Hikaru' game... ""

"Hikaru, Kaoru," said Karin, pointing at each of them in turn.

""Bzzt, wrong.""

"Nope," Karin smiled. "I'll admit I can't really tell you apart, bu~ut I saw Haruhi-chan introduce you two to our parents." She tapped her head, "I've got a near-perfect memory, so unless you do something drastic with your appearance I'll probably be able to tell you apart for the entire rest of the day."

"Hm, eidetic memory?" Hikaru regarded her thoughtfully. "That could be handy sometimes."

Karin's glasses flashed with sudden reflective light. "You've got no idea~ nfufufu... "

"To be honest, there's no set pattern to our methods," Kaoru said. "We simply find which buttons to press to make a person uncomfortable and utilize it."

"Hm... I guess that could work," Riko said. "At least it keeps you from being predictable. Still, there's a certain joy to be found in finding one really good trick and exploiting it over and over again."

""Oh? And what sort of things do _you_ do?"" The twins had an expression that read 'go on, impress me'.

As if on cue, a shrill scream cut through the air and heads turned to watch a grey-haired teenage girl drop her drink and rush out of the room.

There was a silent pause, then the twins turned questioning eyes on their conversation partners. ""What was that?""

"That," Riko grinned, "was our brother, Kaien."

Hikaru looked back to where the far door was swinging closed. "Brother? You mean sister, right?"

Karin pulled out a small tablet PC and glanced at the screen. "Only for... the next hour or so." She pocketed the device again, muttering something along the lines of 'thanks, Lala'.

The Hitachiin twins stared at the two grinning girls with cautious expressions on their face. ""What sort of prank was _that?_""

"It's a se~ecret."

The twins stared for a few moments longer, then looked down at the drinks in their hands. Then they slowly put them down onto a nearby table.

"You, ah, wouldn't happen to have any bottled water, would you?" Kaoru asked nervously.

The blonde girl stared at the doors for a few more moments. "Kiri?"

"Yeah?" said the redheaded boy.

"Go keep Kaien from doing something stupid to try to change himself back."

"I'm going."

**ooo**

Tamaki leaned forward with a soft smile. "Is everything to your liking, _Hime-sama_?"

Fuuko giggled and allowed the boy to hold her hand between his own. "How is it you don't have a girlfriend yet?"

"Because if I had done so, I never would have been able to have this chance to bathe in your radiant beauty," he smoothly replied.

"I bet you say that to every girl you meet," she cooed.

_"Ahem."_ The two of them looked up from their table to see an annoyed-looking woman staring down at them. "Fuuko? What do you think you're doing?"

Fuuko grimaced, "Mother..."

Tamaki's eyes widened. "_Mother?_" He stood up abruptly. "Madam, I sincerely beg your forgiveness. Your daughter here merely wished me to demonstrate our club's daily activities so she could–"

"Oh hush," Kazehana silenced him with a finger to his lips, then applied pressure to his shoulder to force him back into his chair.

Then she turned around and dropped herself in his lap. She wrapped a companionable arm around his shoulders and gave her daughter a glare. "Starting without me, I feel cheated." She turned to give the suddenly pale boy a sultry grin of her own. "Please, Tamaki-_sama_, continue." She suddenly yelped as a metal serving ladle crashed down onto her head.

_**"Ara ara~"**_ All three of them looked up to see the smiling face of Miya.

"Tamaki-san, Fuuko, _**You.**__"_ Miya held the utensil to her chest in a deceptively gentle-looking grip. "Do you recall what I stated earlier?"

All three paled as the air around them darkened. Cries of the damned filled the air.

_**"Lewd acts in the Emiya Mansion are absolutely forbidden."**_

"Not the bleeding eyes!" Kazehana wailed.

**ooo**

Takeshi found himself outside, sitting on a patio where he could still look through the glass door and watch the events inside. After a few minutes, the door clicked open and his potential Ashikabi stepped outside to join him. Haruhi handed Takeshi one of the two cups she had taken from the refreshments table and then dropped into the seat beside him. They sat there in companionable silence for a few moments as they watched the various Clan members interacting with the Hosts.

Tamaki and Homura had their heads together in discussion about their hosting experiences. Kiri, Haru, and Chisame were asking the two for advice at several points in the discussion while Uzume, Kyon, and Jun simply watched in silence.

Kyouya was seated across from Matsu and Lorelei, all three scribbling notes into computer or onto paper as they talked.

Honey was fighting with Reiko over a large pudding dish. Saber, Rider, Aya, Aoshi, and Gekkou were also clustered over by the dessert table, trying keep out of their way as they enjoyed their food.

Mori seemed to have found himself covered with sleeping toddlers. Kumako and Shinra were curled up against his side, while Akitsu and Koyuki had joined him, with Aleksi and Aliisa nestled in their own laps. Sakura, Kusano, and Sakuya were ferrying refills of drinks and desserts back and forth between the tables and the 'babysitters club'.

Off in the far end of the room, Rin, Luvia, and Tsukiumi were locked into a catfight, with the Hitachiins, Riko, and Karin cheering them on. Musubi, Karasuba, and Shinta were watching for the sheer entertainment value.

At the opposite end, Kaien was sitting against the wall sullenly while Chiho and Arika tried to reassure her that the sudden gender swap was temporary. Chiyo was off looking for their resident alien visitor to see if she had something to reverse the change ahead of schedule.

Shirou and Gilgamesh were not visible, he could easily imagine them staring down the guards Kyouya had brought over. Either that or they were having a small party of their own in the kitchen. It was sometimes hard to tell when Shirou was allowed to play host.

"You have a nice family," Haruhi said.

Takeshi looked over at her.

"They're weird, but it's nice." She cradled her cup in her hands and met his eyes with her own. "I can see why you're so protective of them."

Takeshi nearly choked on the sip he had just taken. "What?"

"Well, whenever the subject comes up at school you sort of withdraw into yourself. You become defensive." She sipped at her own drink. "It's subtle, but it's there. You're the eldest child, right?"

"Um, yeah," Takeshi stammered. "Backtrack a bit, I become defensive at school?"

"Mhmm," she confirmed. "It's fairly obvious to me. I think Tamaki-sempai knows too. He's actually pretty sharp when it comes to these sort of things. But after seeing your family in person, I think I understand why now."

"And what is it you think you understand?" Takeshi said quietly.

"Well, like I said, you're very protective of your family. I think it's understandable, it's quite different from your usual family. You have what, over a dozen moms?" Haruhi held out a hand and began mentally tallying up the women she had met today.

"I have siblings from twenty-two different mothers, including my own," Takeshi said. "Some of them aren't here because they travel the world. One is probably holed up in her room."

"They must all like your father quite a bit if they can all peacefully coexist like that," Haruhi mused. They both flinched as one of the combatants inside was flung against the window. The window held, and the irate woman inside threw herself back into the furball. "Especially if they don't normally get along."

"There's a very good reason for that... "

"So you're the oldest child in a family that almost has more kids than a single classroom in our school," Haruhi summarized. "I think I noticed quite a few of them are in the same age groups, but you're all alone, aren't you?"

"The next oldest are all two years younger than me," he confirmed.

"So you probably feel responsible for all of your younger siblings," Haruhi suggested. "Polite society might see them as an aberration or worse, so you're not comfortable in letting the public know about you." She pointedly looked through the window where the Tsundere Trio were currently tearing at each others' hair. "Given some of the adults in your life, I can see why you felt you couldn't leave it just to them... "

"Fine, so I'm a bit overprotective of my family," Takeshi growled. "What's wrong with that?"

"You shouldn't have to shoulder all of the responsibility alone. Your family seems like they know what they're doing, you can trust them. I mean, when was the last time you did something for yourself?" Haruhi leaned over to look him in the eye. "When was the last time you did what _you_ wanted to do?"

Takeshi looked away.

"You can't think of a time, can you?" Haruhi chewed on her lip for a moment. "Takeshi-sempai, why did you join the Host Club?"

"What?" His head whipped around to stare at her.

"Well, you always seem slightly upset that you're there. You're always doing that glaring thing, kind of like your Mom does. I know Hikaru and Kaoru can be a handful, but even with Tamaki-sempai, Kyouya-sempai, Honey and Mori-sempai, you always seem like you're about to have an aneurysm." She fell quiet for a few moments, then leaned into him.

Takeshi quickly leaned away from her, and she sighed as if the action had proven her point.

"Even with me. If you really dislike us that much, why did you join us?"

Takeshi grimaced, then checked to make sure the door was still closed and nobody was watching them. After making sure everybody was currently preoccupied with breaking up the fight inside, he turned back to face Haruhi. "First, please promise me you won't repeat anything I'm about to say to the others, especially Ootori-kun."

" 'Kyouya-kun', Sempai," Haruhi smiled supportively. "You have my word."

"Right..." Takeshi fell silent for a few moments as he tried to gather his thoughts. "There's one final thing you don't know about my family. It's part of the reason why we're so large in the first place. We're, ah... wearenothuman."

Haruhi blinked, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

Takeshi took several deep breaths. "We're not human. Well, most of my siblings and I are half-human at least... but my parents are a race of near-human beings called 'Sekirei'."

"So... you're an alien wagtail bird?"

"I'm only Half-alien," Takeshi closed his eyes at the absurdity of his explanation. He half expected her to break out into mocking laughter, but when he opened his eyes he found Haruhi looking down in concentration. Her fist was pressed to her mouth as she thought.

"Does this have anything to do with why everybody is calling your grey-haired sister your brother?" she finally asked.

"Um, partially." Takeshi frowned, "Kaien's a bit special because of Homura-kaasan. But it doesn't help that he was winged by a mad-gadgeteer genius. I wouldn't be surprised if Lala-san had something to do with today's event."

"'Winged'?" she pounced on the unfamiliar term.

"Oh... well," Takeshi scratched his head. "At a certain stage in a Sekirei's life, we have what we call a 'Reaction'. It happens when we find a compatible partner, what we refer to as an 'Ashikabi', who will then 'wing' them. A Reaction can take numerous forms: for some, it's not unlike falling suddenly, deeply in love. For others, it causes them to lose control over their abilities." Takeshi closed his eyes. "For me, it seems to have taken the form of a constant, ridiculously annoying headache."

"Oh," Haruhi was quiet for a few moments, then she blinked. _"Oh."_

"Yeah, 'oh'," Takeshi sighed. "So... that's why I joined the Club."

"Who is it you are Reacting to?" she asked.

Takeshi blinked and suddenly felt like slamming his head against the ground. "You! I'm Reacting to you, Fujioka-san!"

"Me?" Haruhi's eyes went wide. "Why didn't you just say so from the start? How can we fix this?"

"I... tried, at the beginning. I wasn't able to say it then." Takeshi lowered his head. "And the only way to stop a Reaction is to perform the Winging Ritual." He looked back up at her, "Again, it wasn't something I wanted to simply force onto you."

"Well, it's hurting you isn't it?" When Takeshi nodded, Haruhi gave a sharp nod herself. "Right then, so how do we perform this ritual?"

Takeshi stared at her, "I'm not sure you fully understand what you're about to get into."

"What's to understand?" she asked. "If a person is in pain, it's only right to help them alleviate it. To do anything else would be cruel. How do we do this ritual?"

Takeshi ducked his head. ". . ." he said.

"You're mumbling again."

"We kiss."

Haruhi stared at him. "Kiss," she repeated.

Takeshi nodded mutely.

"Okay." Haruhi shrugged as Takeshi stared at her with wide eyes. "What? It's just a kiss." She grabbed his chin and turned his head. "On the cheek should be fine, right?"

"I'm... pretty sure that's not how it works," Takeshi stammered as she leaned forward.

Just then the door slammed open. "Hee~ey, Take-chan! There you are!"

Eyes wide, Takeshi twisted around as he saw his sister framed in the doorway. Naturally, the motion turned his head just enough that Haruhi's lip pressed straight against his own.

"Whoops," Karin mumbled.

**ooo**

Haruhi's eyes were wide as she watched Takeshi break away and arch backwards. Brilliant glowing wings erupted from his back, so bright she was nearly blinded. She thought she saw several streams of light converge and form an oddly shaped symbol, but when she blinked both the crest and the wings had disappeared from view. Takeshi slumped forward and she absently caught him and let him rest his head on her shoulder as he recovered.

There was a moment of silence, then Karin spun around in the doorway. "Wow, what a sudden lightning strike!" she said to the room in a very loud voice. She moved back inside, closing the door after herself. "Did anybody check the weather report? I think there's gonna be—"

Haruhi stared at the closed door for a few moments then turned back to the boy leaning against her. "Takashi-sempai?" she asked cautiously.

_"Ikuhisashiku..."_ he mumbled.

She blinked, then pushed him off her shoulder, leaning back in to press a hand against forehead. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said. He opened his eyes slowly, then blinked and pulled himself back. "I'm... fine..." He touched his head gently.

"Headache's gone?" she asked.

"Yes... thank you," he said. Then he slumped, dropping his shoulders, "I'm... sorry."

"For what?" Haruhi asked. "It was just a ritual for your weird alien body to get rid of your Reaction, right?" She pressed her hand against her lips. "Although you did take my first kiss..."

Takeshi winced and pressed his own hand to his mouth. "If it helps any, you just took mine, too." He still looked apologetic. "But, I don't think I explained myself very well earlier. Did I say anything after... everything?"

She ran the memory through her head. "Something about forever?"

Takeshi nodded, his face glum. "When an Ashikabi wings a Sekirei, its a bonding that lasts for... well... forever."

Haruhi stared at him. "What?"

Takeshi looked away from her. "Remember when I said there was a reason why my Father had so many wives?"

Haruhi thought about it. She thought about it some more. Finally...

"Oh..."

**ooo**

* * *

><p><em>(an) – new chapter length record! *waves flag* it prolly has something to do with trying to write POVs for over half a dozen character groups. i personally feel the ending part was a bit rushed, but i'm a lazy author and don't like rewriting so you're all stuck with this winging situation! hopefully everybody seems mostly in character._

_school started off with a running start, so it seems like unless i don't have ongoing projects, i may not have a chance to think about story stuff until the weekends like this. sorry for those of you who were used to me once-a-day updates. but, summer's over. booo. anyhow, probably expect things once, maybe twice a week for the foreseeable future.  
><em>


	62. EC: Ouran 09

**Emiya Clan – Ouran 09**

* * *

><p>Takeshi stretched out his arms, basking in the warm sunlight. It was unusually warm today, given the late season, but Takeshi also noted the increased humidity in the air and the shadow on the distant horizon which suggested the good weather would probably not last. He wondered if he should make his observations known to their host.<p>

Looking around, he saw he was alone in the well-kept grounds. The shrubbery along the walkways were healthy-looking and seemed to be maintained regularly, and the flowerbeds looked to have been replanted recently with late-blooming plants, allowing them to survive the coming autumn.

He did wonder – briefly – why everything was laid out with a very familiar-looking cat motif. Even the walking paths curled around the grounds to suggest the outline of a certain person's hand-puppet.

"Do you like our gardens, Emiya-kun?" a low voice loomed from behind him in the shadowed doorway he was standing in front of. "I have always enjoyed the craftsmanship our family's caretakers have put into their work... from a distance, of course." Umehito Nekozawa held a cloaked arm over his face protectively, warding off the bright sunlight Takeshi was enjoying.

Takeshi slowly turned to look at the shadowed figure lurking in the archway. "I can see a great deal of thought and planning went into it's construction, Nekozawa-kun," he said honestly. He did wonder, however, how the young scion of the family was able to enjoy anything involving outdoor activities, given his apparent light sensitivity. Maybe he only went out on extremely overcast days.

When they had returned to school from their visit to the Emiya Mansion, the Host Club had found Nekozawa waiting for them in the clubroom. Evidently he'd found out about the results of the Hitachiin's little form of blackmail and had offered the club the hospitality of his own family's mansion. "If the season were more appropriate," he had stated, "I would have liked to show you my family's coastal properties." Unfortunately, this late in the year was not a suitable time for heading for the beach and a day trip to Bali was out of the question, given that Haruhi did not possess a passport. The twins were extremely put out by that development.

The Nekozawa mansion was actually not what Takeshi had been expecting. Mostly. The gothic architecture and dim, candle-lit hallways were certainly present, but much of the house was actually quite brightly lit and richly decorated. Statues of cats and other feline figures were in abundance, which had been explained by a cat-eyed maid of the house. The family had apparently been worshipping cat-shaped idols for generations, dating back from their origins in the so-called Russian Tokarev Dynasty. Takeshi recalled the name as being the Soviet's best small-arms weapons designer from one of Keiko's research projects, which the maid confirmed as being the Nekozawa family's primary business.

Tamaki had wanted to turn the visit into a full-on Host Club event, which resulted in another house party of sorts. For the most part, Tamaki, Kyouya, Hani, and Mori had been available for the largest groups, while Hikaru and Kaoru had led several timid girls through the sections of the house Nekozawa had decorated for his purposes, passing it off as a Test of Courage. Seeing as Nekozawa himself abhorred bright lights and had a taste for the occult, it certainly provided a somewhat haunted house vibe. The majority of the gathering took place in the gardens, so Takeshi had not seen much of their host until now.

"Is there something I can help you with, Nekozawa-kun?" Takeshi asked politely. "If it's about your invitation to join your Black Magic Club, my answer is still the same."

Nekozawa smiled tightly, "All the same, our doors will always be open to you, should you reconsider. The reason I have approached you is to give you warning: a terrible curse has fallen upon your Host Club." As Takeshi's eyes narrowed, he nodded. "Yes, I have suspected it for some time, but you should beware of a female who plans _terrible _curses for one of your number."

Just at that moment, there was a high-pitched cry from the garden area. Heads turned towards a very young blonde girl, probably no more than three or four years old, as she launched herself into the arms of a surprised Tamaki. "Onii-chan!"

Girls all around the two squealed in delight at the touching scene, disregarding Tamaki's bewildered expression.

Takeshi turned towards Nekozawa. "Is that who you were talking about?"

"Kirimi!" the cloaked boy shouted. He pulled the hood over his face protectively as he stepped out into the direct sunlight. He stalked over towards Tamaki, who was fielding excited questions from the customers gathered around him.

"I don't have a sister!" the blonde insisted. "At least, I'm pretty sure I'm an only child... "

"But she has the same hair as you, Tamaki-sama!" said one guest.

The small girl tugged at the ribbon holding one of her pigtails up. "You're not my Onii-chan?" she asked with teary eyes.

Tamaki stared down at her for a moment, then hugged her to her chest. "I am! Starting today!" he bawled.

"I know you're feeling sorry for her, but don't say things without thinking," Haruhi said as she walked up with Hikaru and Kaoru beside her.

"If _Tono_ isn't her brother, then who else could it be?" one of the twins asked.

"_Ki...ri...mi..._" Nekozawa gasped as he reached the group. The others turned towards the black cloaked figure as he seemed to waste away before their very eyes in the sunlight. He managed to pull himself up straight, his hands weakly clawing at the air as he struggled to reach for the toddler. "Be a good girl and come with me... "

Tamaki and Kirimi both shrieked in wordless terror and clutched at each other.

Hikaru dropped a fist into his palm. "Ah, that's right, this is Nekozawa-sempai's house, naturally 'Kill Me' is his sister."

Haruhi looked at him, " 'Kill Me' ?"

Kaoru scratched his head, "I thought he said 'Creamy', personally. But yeah... " He reached over to the stumbling third-year and whipped off his cloak, revealing a blonde figure that would have looked rather dashing if not for his widened eyes and sallow skin. "Nekozawa-sempai is also a blonde, I'd almost forgotten about it since he wears that cloak and wig all the time."

Takeshi looked towards Nekozawa, who had joined Kirimi in shrieking his lungs out, though the girl herself was now staring at her brother with wide eyes. There was a sudden rush of wind and he saw the cat-eyed maid he'd spoken with earlier drop to the ground behind her master.

"Apologies for our tardiness, Young Master," the maid said." She quickly yanked the black wig and cloak from Kaoru's surprised hands and threw them back over Nekozawa's head. A bald butler followed with a light-blocking umbrella, holding it over Nekozawa's head as the student recovered. He stammered out relieved thanks for the two, Kuretake and Kadomatsu.

The second his features were lost to the shadows again, Kirimi renewed her crying, causing Tamaki to wince and hand her over to the maid. "Unfortunately, while Kirimi-sama adores Umehito-sama," the maid Kuretake said, "too much light means death for our Young Master."

"On the other hand," the butler Kadomatsu added, "Kirimi-ojousama is terrified of the dark."

Hikaru nodded sagely, "We should keep her away from Takeshi-sempai, then."

Takeshi glared at the redhead. "I wouldn't do anything to a little kid. I'm not one to intentionally go out to traumatize random people. Speaking of which, where have you two been?"

"Exploring," Hikaru said. "Nekozawa-sempai has some pretty interesting stuff in his section of the house."

"It's actually rather creepy," Kaoru added. "Several of our guests were pretty upset."

"All according to your plan, I'm sure," Takeshi grumbled.

""We have no idea what you're implying, Takeshi-sempai,"" they answered innocently.

"Interestingly enough," Hikaru said. "Haruhi didn't seem to be fazed by any of it."

"And don't think we haven't noticed that she's immune to your little Glare of Doom either, Sempai," Kaoru added. "So it got us thinking of a new activity called... "

""... The 'Who Can Find Haruhi's Weakness' Game!"" the two of them grinned.

Takeshi stared, "Your naming sense leaves something to be desired... "

"Hang on, let me grab _Tono_ and include him in this too," Kaoru said as he walked off.

Hikaru remained where he was, still wearing that playful smirk. "So, are you interested?"

"I'm interested to know how you plan to win this 'game'," Takeshi said darkly.

"Simple, Nekozawa-sempai said we could stay the weekend, right?" Hikaru thought for a moment, then nodded as if confirming for himself. "So, the time limit is until we leave tomorrow. Like the name implies, whoever can find Haruhi's weakness first by then is the winner."

"That..."

"What's the prize?" Tamaki said as he and Kaoru returned. Takeshi looked over and saw Haruhi still in discussion with Nekozawa, his sister, and his servants, happily oblivious to the twins' latest mischief.

"And so, I pray every night that Kurimi will learn to love the darkness," Nekozawa was saying.

Haruhi waved her hand dismissively, "No, you've got it backwards, I think. You should be trying to get used to the light."

"The prize," Kyouya had joined them, "will be these assorted pictures of Haruhi from when she was in middle school." He held up a fan of prints showing Haruhi before she had cut her hair, dressed in various styles of casual and school clothing. Most of them were candid photos, most likely taken by Haruhi's father and traded to Kyouya in exchange for favors or information about his daughter's classmates. There were a few, however, that appeared to be archived screenshots from a closed-circuit camera system.

_Matsu-kaasan and I are going to have _words, Takeshi thought darkly.

Tamaki and the twins all had expressions suggesting they were taking this contest very seriously. Hani had also arrived and was bouncing around excitedly at the idea of a contest. Takeshi himself wasn't immune to the idea of having pictures of his Ashikabi. If nothing else it would serve to remind himself that she was, in fact, female. In fact – he took another surreptitious look at the sampled photos in Kyouya's hand – he noticed just how feminine his Ashikabi could be with just a simple change of wardrobe.

""Ah, it looks like Takeshi-sempai wants to join in as well."" Takeshi blinked as he suddenly noticed the twins staring at him with knowing smirks. He looked to the side again, Renge had joined Haruhi and was talking with Kirimi and Kuretake in excited tones. Apparently they had found some sort of common ground. Haruhi stood by Nekozawa, both of them sharing glazed-over expressions as whatever the other three were talking about sailed completely over their heads.

He shook his head as he gathered his thoughts. "That's not it," he said. "I just want to make sure you guys don't get the pictures. Who knows what you'd do with them?"

Their heads bobbed with an agreeable expression. ""Suu~ure... ""

**ooo**

"Oi, Haruhi!"

Haruhi looked over to where Kaoru was waving her over. He and Hikaru were standing in front of a darkened entryway with a group of customers. "What is it?" she asked.

"Oh, we were just telling the girls about the history of this place," Hikaru was saying. "Apparently the Nekozawa family has some pretty interesting stories behind it."

"Like this place," Kaoru waved a hand around. "Apparently this is a cursed room, every time the previous master of the family perished, the staff always found the body... here."

One of the girls gasped in dismay. "In... in here?_"_

Kaoru shook his head, "No, actually, it was right—"

A skeletal hand clamped itself around Haruhi's shoulder. "—_here!"_ Hikaru whispered from behind her.

She didn't even blink, brushing the arm off with a casual gesture.

Hikaru pouted, "Weren't you listening to our story?"

Haruhi grimaced, "I did, but I had a feeling you two were going to try to pull something like that. Besides, I'm the type of person who needs to see something before I'll believe in it."

"So ghost stories don't scare you?"

"Not really, no," she confirmed.

"Tch."

**ooo**

"Honey-sempai, why did you call me up here?"

Honey stepped away from the railing. "To see the view, of course. It's amazing!"

Though the Nekozawa's house was a (relatively) modest four stories, they had large towers at each corner of the foundation. Honey and Mori had climbed up to the top level of one, which really did feature an impressive view of the surrounding landscape.

"It's nice," Haruhi agreed. She suddenly started as Mori picked her up by her waist and raised her over his head. "What the, Mori-sempai?"

"Are you sure you had a good view?" Honey asked from below her. "I didn't get the best one until Takashi helped me!"

"Um... sure, I can see much more from up... here," she said bewilderedly.

"...And?" Honey pressed.

"And... it's much nicer?" Haruhi said, trying to figure out what sort of answer Honey was expecting from her.

There was a long pause, then Honey turned away in disappointment as Mori gently lowered her back to the floor.

**ooo**

"What's that you've got there, Takeshi-sempai?" Haruhi blinked as the tip of a steel katana was pointed in her direction.

"Erm," Takeshi scratched his head nervously. "It's the sword I use when I practice at home. I just felt like pulling it out."

"Ah," Haruhi didn't flinch as he ran it through several quick sequences barely half a meter from her face. "So it's a practice sword?"

"Oh no," he said. "It's quite real, quite... sharp. Very deadly, very dangerous."

Haruhi tilted her head, "If it's so dangerous, then you might want to put it away. You wouldn't want to accidentally injure one of our guests..."

Takeshi's shoulders slumped slightly as he lowered his blade.

**ooo**

""Oi, Haruhi, have you seen Nekozawa-sempai's study-room?""

"Um... yes, it's quite dark."

""...Boo?""

"WAAAAH! Takashi, help me!"

""Honey-sempai! Come back!""

"What _are_ you guys doing?"

**ooo**

Takeshi blinked as he came upon the sight of the Hitachiin twins lounging in a side room with Tamaki. "Did all of our guests head home already?"

"Yeah, the last of them left a few minutes ago," Kaoru said. He was sprawled onto a comfortable-looking sofa next to his twin. "Kyouya-sempai had his family's chauffeurs take them back."

"I see," Takeshi nodded. "So what's going on now?"

""We're bored!"" they chimed. "This game isn't fun anymore!"

Takeshi looked over to where Tamaki was bent over the table, scribbling fast notes onto a sheet of paper. "What's he doing?"

_"Tono?"_ Kaoru didn't even turn his head. "He's been brainstorming. He had a thought about collecting a bucket of insects from somewhere, but the house is too well-kept for that."

"At this point, I'm not sure even that would faze Haruhi-san," Takeshi said as he pulled up his own chair.

"Honestly, does that girl have any fears at all?" Hikaru complained. "She's so fearless it's not even cute. Zero points!"

"What are you saying about your sister!" Tamaki suddenly looked up with a scowl. "You're a horrible older brother."

"Sister? Brother?" Takeshi looked confused.

""That again?"" The twins frowned.

"_Tono_, I know you keep insisting you're Haruhi's father and everything," Hikaru idly rubbed the fingers of one of his hands together. "But what do you really think of her?"

"If we go with the 'Club-as-a-family' analogy, would that make Kyouya-kun the 'mother'?" Takeshi mused to himself. He dropped his head into his hand at the mental image that brought up.

"Is it something you don't want to consider?" Kaoru pressed the blonde. "Are you just falling back on the idea of a family to prevent yourself from thinking 'that'?"

Tamaki's eyes widened as the two rounded on him with a knowing look. "Of course..."

Takeshi broke off his musings to focus on the Host Club's leader, while the twins smirked.

"A snake!" Tamaki suddenly shouted. "Of course, what girl isn't scared of creepy-crawling reptiles? Hikaru, Kaoru, find me a snake! Maybe a python."

The two face-palmed. ""Where do you expect us to find a snake in a place like this?"" they demanded.

**ooo**

Haruhi struggled to keep the boredom from her face. Nekozawa-sempai had long since fled the overly sunny day, leaving her alone with his sister Kirimi, the maid Kuretake, and Renge, who had opted to stay over with the rest of the club instead of heading home with the rest of their customers. The three of them were seated around a patio table, happily conversing about various shoujo manga they were fans of. Haruhi had the feeling such topics were not suitable for a toddler, but apparently Kuretake had been using such stories to calm Kirimi down whenever she asked about her older brother.

A sudden breeze of wind caused her to look up at the sky. Clearing her throat to catch the others' attention, she pointed a finger up, "We should probably head inside. It looks like it might start raining soon." She frowned as she saw the darkened clouds which suggested there would be a bit more than rain.

Kuretake narrowed her eyes as she saw the same signs of an incoming storm. "You're right," she said. She smoothly rose from her chair and leaned over to scoop Kirimi into her arms. "Come Young Mistress, it's time to head inside."

"But I wanna tell more stories!" the young blonde protested.

"We can continue inside, maybe with some hot chocolate," the maid assured her. She turned towards Renge and bowed slightly, "Another guest room will prepared for you as well, Houshakuji-san. Fujioka-san, Ootori-san has requested you receive a guest room to yourself as well, is that acceptable?"

"Um, yeah," Haruhi said. "That was thoughtful of him..."

"I will make the necessary arrangements once the Young Mistress has settled down," Kuretake confirmed. They turned towards the house to head inside... and froze.

Standing in their path was the largest land animal Haruhi had ever seen in person. She knew larger animals, like elephants, existed in the world, but this thing was still _massive_. The creature was vaguely wolf-like, with spiky white tufts of fur sprouting from its head. It's shoulders towered over all their heads, though it's head was lowered towards the ground as it turned cold, yellow eyes at them. Renge squeaked in fear as the wolf turned its attention to them.

Without taking her eyes away, Haruhi turned her head slightly over her shoulder. "Kuretake-san, I don't suppose this is a pet of the Nekozawa family, is it?"

Kirimi's fearful crying was all the confirmation she needed, but the cat-eyed maid still answered, taking care to keep her voice low. "Not at all, we don't even keep cats as pets, since Kirimi-sama is afraid of them as well."

Haruhi took a long stride forward to place herself in front of the others. She noticed the wolf focus its attention on her and she took a slight gamble, stepping to the side slightly. Its head turned to continue tracking her and she allowed a tight smile to form on her face. "Get to the house," she told the others. "I'll try to keep it focused on me." She didn't wait for confirmation before she quickly walked away from the group, hopefully pulling the creature away from the path so they get to the house unimpeded.

It worked, it stepped off the path towards her, narrowing its eyes as it stalked forward. Then there was a wordless shout from the others as they ran for the house, the sound catching the wolf's attention. Without thinking, Haruhi launched herself forward towards the white beast. It turned back towards her and bared its teeth as it set itself to meet her, the door to the house banging open with a crash.

"Haruhi!"


	63. EC: Ouran 10

**Emiya Clan – Ouran 10**

* * *

><p>Takeshi was sitting back and watching Tamaki and the twins brainstorming more ideas for scaring Haruhi when he felt a presence that raised the hairs on the back of his head. He was trying to identify the magical signature when he heard a series of heavy thumps from the nearby staircase. He turned in his seat to see Hani and Mori barreling past the doorway, the smaller student skidding to a stop in the archway as he caught sight of them.<p>

"Tama-chan! Takeshi! It's Haru-chan!" the blonde shouted. Without any further explanation, without waiting for a response, the blonde continued down the hallway.

Takeshi didn't remember rising to his feet. The combination of the presence tickling in the back of his mind and sudden anxiety for his Ashikabi was enough to send him speeding past the Haninozuka prodigy as he charged the front door. The other three Hosts belatedly piled out the room after him just as he reached the entrance and threw the door open, blinking in surprise at what he found.

Primate Murder at his most intimidating was instantly recognizable, though any questions of how or why the family's guardian was present nearly halfway across the city took a backseat to the fact that his Ashikabi was blindly running towards the beast. All that mattered was that Primy appeared to be in a foul mood and the girl seemed to be challenging his presence. "Haruhi!" he shouted in warning. He was about to put on a renewed burst of speed – never mind that he was trying to keep his abilities secret – when something about Primy's body language clicked in his head.

Although the beast was presenting a fierce expression, the posture of his large form was not actually confrontational. Rather, it seemed to be more of the stance he'd use when in a playful mood, especially when mock-fighting with one of the children. Takeshi finally noticed the Nekozawa's maid and the others huddled together in a nervous ball as they stared at the large, white beast and the seemingly suicidal Host. Primy's ears twitched in their direction, but by then Haruhi had approached within a meter of his position, snapping a finger to draw his attention back to her.

"Hey!" she shouted, "Over here!" She kept her eyes focused on Primy's face as he glared back at her. She held out a hand steadily as if to ward him away, but when Primy did nothing but continue to stare, she flipped her hand over until it was facing down.

"Haru—" Tamaki was quickly silenced as Takeshi slapped a hand over the other boy's mouth. He and the other Hosts had finally arrived and were torn between running forward to snatch Haruhi away from the enormous wolf and remaining silent so as not to suddenly provoke it while she was so close to it. Still, a strangled gasp rose from Tamaki's throat as Haruhi fearlessly stepped forward until her hand was hovering over Primy's nose.

Primy lifted his snout, sniffing at her hand. The motion bumped his snout into her palm, and Haruhi broke into a soft smile as she patted the downy fur. "That's a nice boy," she cooed. She reached further and brushed her hand over the crown of Primy's head, curling her fingers and scratching behind his ears. "_Good_ boy!" she said.

Tamaki's legs collapsed in shock as the large beast crooned at the girl and tilted his head, giving her a better angle. Takeshi would have joined him, but he forced himself back into motion, walking up to Haruhi and turning to face the large creature she was standing in front of.

"Primy," he said as he laid his own hand on the beast's head. He frowned as a large head turned to look at him. "What are you doing here?" Yellow eyes simply stared back at him as Primy simply rumbled in his throat. The low growl turned into a pleased warble as Haruhi gave his head another pat. Takeshi sighed. "Head home," he ordered. He'd have to figure out this mystery later. "Go back to Altrouge-kaasan, Primy."

Primy lifted his head with a dignified scowl, but obediently turned in place. He crouched slightly, then without even a whisper of sound, he was off, bounding off into the street and disappearing from view in seconds. Takeshi turned back to the group, noticing the others were staring at him in various states of shock. Even Kirimi was too surprised to continue crying, though her eyes were welled up with unspent tears.

"So," he raised his voice with a forced casualness. He looked back up at the sky, "That was exciting, but let's head inside before the weather takes a turn for the worst."

**ooo**

"What were you thinking?" Takeshi demanded. He paced back and forth across the floor, the rest of the Hosts lounging on the various chairs and couches lining the room. "Jumping out like that was reckless and dangerous."

Haruhi glared back at him stubbornly, "I didn't really have time to think. When you encounter a situation like that, isn't it only natural to try to protect others around you?"

"Speaking of which, what was that?" Tamaki blurted out. "Emiya-sempai, you seemed familiar with it... Kyouya! Have you contacted animal control to let them know something so large is running around the city?"

"That," Takeshi interrupted, "was my family's guard dog. He doesn't normally respond to strangers very well, which is why you didn't meet him during your visit. But there's no need to contact the authorities, I've sent him home." He adjusted his glasses and sighed.

Kyouya paused with his phone still flipped open, "Are you certain? Your home is not very close by and we have no idea if it could even find its way back."

"He's smarter than he looks," Takeshi stated. "He'll make it back without any detours."

The Shadow King raised an eyebrow, but pocketed his phone.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about," Haruhi said in the silence. "Everything worked out okay."

Takeshi ran a hand through his hair, trying to find the words to articulate the point he was trying to get across.

"Are you a professional wild-animal tamer?" Tamaki asked. "Or are you a martial arts expert like Honey-sempai?"

Haruhi blinked in confusion. "Eh? Well, no... "

"Then why didn't you call for one of us? Honey and Mori-sempai were on the roof. They saw the creature before you even did and were already rushing down to help you." Tamaki leaned forward in his seat to stare at her. "You're just a girl, what were you thinking to face down a wild creature by yourself?"

"Man or woman, what does it matter?" Haruhi glared back at the blonde, then turned her gaze to Takeshi. "Sure it might have been a risk, but if you recognized that dog as yours, Takeshi-sempai, then I don't see why you're so upset."

Takeshi twitched, "It's _because_ I recognized him that I'm upset. Primate Murder is not generally friendly with unknown guests."

"Primate _Murder?_" she repeated.

He shrugged, "He's a guard dog. And honestly, I would have been much more relaxed about this if some strange guys had shoved you off a cliff."

"Emiya-sempai!" Tamaki said, aghast.

"Regardless, if Primy hadn't been in a playful mood, you could have been seriously injured." Takeshi ducked his head. "I do apologize for that, by the way. I really don't know why he followed me here."

"Haruhi," Tamaki had an unusually serious expression on his face. "I know you were only doing what you thought was right, but please understand you should be thinking twice before jumping into situations like that."

Haruhi had an implacable expression on her face as she looked around. "Is that what the rest of you think, too?"

Kyouya and Mori's faces were as impassive as ever. Hani had a solemn look in his eyes as he clutched tightly to his plush bunny. Hikaru and Kaoru's expressions were unreadable, but were not merry in the slightest. Takeshi's eyes had an oddly haunted look to them and Tamaki had a strangely calm expression. Each of them nodded immediately as she posed her question.

She sighed and rose from her seat, closing her eyes. "Then I'll apologize for causing any trouble." She opened her eyes again to glare at Tamaki and Takeshi, "But I still don't understand why I'm being scolded for something beyond that. Not when I didn't do anything wrong!"

Takeshi sighed and rubbed at his forehead. Tamaki's brows furrowed with sudden indignation. "Is that so... ?"

The blonde stood up himself and posted his fists on his hips. "Then do what you want. I'm not speaking with you again until you admit your error!" He then spun on his heel and marched out of the room without a backwards glance.

The others watched him go, while Haruhi angrily dropped back into her chair.

"Haru—" Takeshi began.

"I don't want to hear it, Sempai," she interrupted.

**ooo**

"Your move, Sempai," Kaoru said as he handed Takeshi the pair of dice.

Takeshi obligingly rattled the cubes in his hand for a moment before dropping them onto the table. He picked up the small token and skipped it across the board, "Two, three, four..." He leaned forward, frowning as he read the text on the space he'd landed on. " '5 Years Later: You suffer and automobile accident and fracture your left wrist.' "

Hikaru winced. "Nasty," he commented. He rolled for his own piece's movement and read his own fate, " '12 Years Later: Your company goes bankrupt, you're reduced to working as a janitor in a department store.' What the hell? This isn't even funny."

"Nekozawa-sempai, what kind of game is this?" Kaoru complained. "I don't think we've hit a single 'good' result."

"That's because there aren't any," the hooded figure grinned and waved Beelzenef around. "_Cursed Life_ is a game that shows just how despairing life can be, nothing fake-happy like that other _Life_ game... "

"Takashi! In ten years I'll get shorter by two centimeters!" Hani complained.

"Who's rolling for _Tono?_" Hikaru called out. He looked around, then shrugged. "I guess I'll do it this time. Hm... six, seven, eight... 'Current: You've earned the unending hatred from a close friend, you're massively depressed.' Huh... "

Everyone turned towards the dimly lit corner of the room, where Tamaki was silently curled against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Tama-chan is still depressed he said that to Haru-chan," Hani said sadly.

"Well, maybe he shouldn't have given that ultimatum, then," Hikaru said.

"I can't say I don't understand why he said it, though," Takeshi mused.

"Where is Haruhi, anyhow?" Kaoru said as he rolled his next move.

**ooo**

Haruhi wandered around in the near darkness.

She had taken the opportunity to head back to her assigned room for a quick shower. Unfortunately it seemed her father had gotten into her luggage after she had finished packing. 'Ranka' Fujioka had always wished for his daughter to dress in a more overtly feminine style, so she was not entirely surprised to find he had repacked her bags full of frilly nightgowns and similar day wear. In the time it had taken for her to change her clothes, the sky had grown dark with clouds and a light drizzle was already falling outside the windows.

There were no powered lights to be seen, though she could see the darkened wall sconces and chandeliers holding light bulbs. Instead, light was cast from a series of spaced out candles, which only served to deepen the shadows and barely light up the hallways enough to navigate by. She could easily imagine Nekozawa-sempai's voice explaining the reasoning for the decor to the others.

_Candlelight is highly beneficial to the soul,_ He'd say. _Especially after the filthiness of the daylight, a person can cleanse themselves off and only find their true selves in the darkness. . ._

Still, with the way she her mood was right now, she didn't feel like aiding it by wallowing in darkness. Acting on a whim, Haruhi located a staircase heading down into the foundations of the house. Her steps echoed hollowly down the empty stairwell, had she been the type to do so, she would have probably been apprehensive about delving deeper into the darkness. Fortunately, all she cared about that there was enough light even down here for her not to trip over something.

"Should you be down here?" a soft female voice asked from the shadows. Somehow the voice seemed familiar, but she couldn't place it.

Haruhi nearly jumped in surprise, but calmed down just as quickly as she descended the final few steps into the basement. "Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude." It was probably one of Nekozawa-sempai's servants, clearly they were as fond of the darkness as their master was. "I was just wondering if we couldn't turn on the lights. Setting the mood is nice and all, but sometimes Nekozawa-sempai tends to go overboard when he's around us."

"Is that so?" Though she still couldn't see the other person, Haruhi had the impression her hand had been raised to her chin in thought. "Well, if you must, the circuit breaker for this section of the house is over on the far wall."

"Thanks," Haruhi said. Her eyes were gradually getting used to the darkness and she could make out the faint outline of an opened wall panel on the far side of the room. She could also see the tall, willowy figure of a young woman standing in the far corner, but could not make out any further details other than that silhouette. With a shrug, she crossed the floor and felt around for the appropriate switches. Most of them were in their ready positions, but she could feel one large switch toggled to the side, probably the master breaker. She flipped it to the other side and the room suddenly flared into brightness. She heard a scream from somewhere upstairs – quite possibly Nekozawa-sempai – which suggested the lights in the main rooms had also switched back on. She smiled ruefully and dogged the panel closed.

When she turned around, she noticed the other person had vanished somewhere. She glanced around the room, suddenly noticing large crates filled to the brim with odd objects that probably had to do with the occult. A pile of black cloth was bundled around a long-handled weapon that looked to be a scythe, there were more wax candles stored all along the shelves against the walls, along with a few skulls that shone like plastic. An entire skeleton hung from a small wheeled frame in the corner, next to some more black-bundled cloth and what appeared to be a crystal ball. Still, she could find no sign of another exit, yet she hadn't heard the person she had just been talking to leave by any other means.

She simply shrugged and headed back for the stairs without a backward glance. _Nekozawa-sempai's staff is weird_ she thought.

**ooo**

Dinner was something of an awkward affair.

Umehito Nekozawa had avoided the Club ever since the lights had been restored. The butler Kadomatsu appeared completely disinterested as he served the members of the Club, mentioning that Kuretake was serving Kirimi Nekozawa and Renge their meals in another section of the house. The circumstances definitely helped save any awkward explanations regarding Haruhi's clearly feminine wardrobe, but despite the freedom to talk freely without giving away Haruhi's secret, the general mood amongst the hosts was not a pleasant one.

Haruhi was still taking Tamaki's previous words very seriously. She was uncharacteristically quiet, responding to any comments in short, terse answers despite Hani and the twins' best efforts. She was studiously neutral towards Takeshi, who remained as quiet as he could so as not to further antagonize her. Towards Tamaki, she was curiously immature. She offered him a share of crab legs, but when he gratefully accepted the plate, he realized she had already sucked the meat from them, leaving nothing but the shells. He responded by reaching out for the remaining pieces on her own plate, but withdrew his hand suddenly as she stabbed a fork into the table where it had just been.

That had been the last straw for him. "What is this? Have you been taking lessons from the twins?" he exclaimed.

"Hm? Didn't you say you weren't going to talk to me anymore?" she said with forced indifference.

Takeshi looked over to see Hikaru and Kaoru sharing identical smirks, though they schooled their expressions when they noticed his eyes on them.

"I see you still have no intentions of apologizing," Tamaki growled. "Fine then! I'm going to bed!"

"Ah," Kadomatsu approached the table and bowed. "Then if you will, Honored Guest, I shall lead you to your chambers." He motioned down the hallway, towards a section of the house that still had its breakers shut off.

Tamaki stared nervously into the darkness. "Ah... anybody else feel sleepy?"

Kyouya sighed and dropped his napkin onto his plate, "Yes, yes... Everyone, if you'll excuse me."

Takeshi raised a hand, "I think I'm done for the night as well." He rose from his own chair and looked over the table. "Haruhi-san, you should take it easy and get some rest yourself."

Haruhi waved absently. As the three left, Haruhi's eating pace suddenly slowed, then stopped as she dropped her silverwear onto her plate. "Maybe I should take up some sort of self-defense classes?"

""Hm? So, she was worried about it after all,"" the twins remarked.

"It's not something we normally like to meddle with," Kaoru said. "But honestly? You might think it's cool to be fearless and to have a strong sense of justice... "

"... But even _we _think you should apologize for your reckless behavior today," Hikaru finished.

"Huh?" Haruhi blinked. "But it's not like I did anything to you guys. I don't understand why Tamaki-sempai is so angry like that, but if it's because I'm too weak–"

"It's not that," Hani interrupted. "He just has a problem with you deciding to risk yourself like that. We all do."

"But..."

"Haru-chan, we were all worried about you!" Hani exclaimed. "We all care about you a lot! You should apologize, to Tama-chan, to everybody! Lots and lots!"

"Worried," Haruhi blinked in surprise. "You were all worried about me that much?"

Hikaru and Kaoru grimaced, ""This girl... ""

"I see," she said. She was silent for long moments as she ran everything through her head. Finally she ducked her head, "I'm sorry... everyone. I apologize for worrying you."

Hani broke into tears and he flew at her with a wail. "Waah! Haru-chan, I forgive you!"

""Yes yes, we'll forgive you just because you're too cute,"" the twins said as they joined in the glomp.

". . ." Mori simply stood next to the group, not joining in, but not keeping his distance either.

A sudden bubbling growl made everyone pause.

"Ergh," Haruhi groaned. "I think something I ate doesn't agree with me... "

**ooo**

Tamaki rested on the bed provided to him, still fully dressed, with his hands behind his head. He stared at the ceiling, mulling over everything Haruhi had said and done today. Had Takeshi's pet proven to be hostile, her actions would have definitely provided valuable time for the Nekozawa's maid to escape to safety with her charges, at the cost of her own well being. Though her actions made logical sense, he wondered how he could make her see the greater impact such an action would have had on the people close to her.

Tamaki cared for Haruhi, as he knew the rest of the Club did. Though he was the very soul of the Club, defining it and driving its actions on a daily basis, Haruhi could easily be called the heart of it. Though he'd only known the members for a little over a year, even he could see her arrival had introduced changes that would not have naturally occurred. The twins, already on the verge of opening up to the world, had expanded even further. Though it was hard to see, Mori was slightly more open with his feelings, having extended his protective instinct to include her as well as Hani. Hani... well he didn't see much difference in Haninozuka since his own admission to the club. Kyouya was still keeping his own counsel, but Tamaki could see his best friend was enjoying life significantly more since Haruhi had arrived. And though he had barely known Takeshi before his own arrival, Tamaki could see how the disciplined third-year was gradually starting to relax his own strict standards.

Whether she knew it or not, Haruhi had a significant impact on all of their lives. She had to be made to understand that her safety was not something to be taken lightly, that any one of the club members would gladly have jumped into danger just to save her from that fate. Especially him. Tamaki considered her safety and well being to be top priority nowadays. It was the least he could do as her...

He blinked; what was he to her? He knew he cared for her deeply, but it didn't seem like the miscellaneous stories about romance and love the maids of his own household liked to gossip to each other about. He recalled what the twins had said earlier in the day, remembered what Kaoru had implied. He thought of the club as his family? Well, he supposed that made sense. The club was his pride and joy, something he himself built from scratch. He'd watched each of his handpicked members grow and mature in their duties and their lives as they learned to socialize with their customers. It made sense that he'd feel a sort of paternal instinct towards the club and its members.

He cared for Haruhi, the same way he cared for the others. Maybe he was a bit overprotective of her, but that made sense too; what kind of father wouldn't put his daughter first?

"You have a very _unusual_ thought process," an amused voice sounded from above him.

Tamaki's eyes snapped open, then he blinked in confusion. He hadn't realized he'd dozed off. His body felt suddenly heavy and he found he couldn't move, so he looked around as far as he could just moving his head. Near the door, perched on top of the dresser, was a shadowy figure. He couldn't make out much detail in the dim lighting of the room, but he flinched as he saw silver eyes staring back at him.

"Sorry about that," the female voice said. "I don't normally like to peek into dreams, but you were broadcasting fairly loudly."

"Who are you?" Tamaki asked. He frantically tried to raise himself to a sitting position, but his clothes felt strangely rigid and heavy, pinning him down. "What have you done to me?"

"That was a pretty mean thing you said to Haruhi-san," the figure said, ignoring his questions. "I understand overprotectiveness and all, but you shouldn't put any emphasis on her being a girl instead of a boy. Some boys can be stupidly self-sacrificing as well. I know one who turned out pretty well." The eyes softened slightly, but retained their piercing silver shine. "The others seem to have successfully explained their view to her, though. She should be apologizing the next time you see her. But you should also offer one in return."

"I should–"

"You should probably get some sleep." The silver eyes seemed to flash, and Tamaki's body suddenly felt as heavy as his clothes did. "You've had a busy day and you need your rest." The eyes turned upwards at the corners and he had the impression the mysterious invader was smiling. _"Sweet dreams~"_

Tamaki passed out almost instantly. The figure held her gaze on his still form for a few more moments, then blinked as he suddenly smiled dreamily in his sleep. She closed her eyes briefly and set a pair of glasses over her face, when she opened them again they appeared a soft purple through the lenses. There was a slight sound as Tamaki's clothes reverted from their temporary rigid form, but the blonde continued to sleep obliviously. She dropped down to the ground noiselessly and opened the door, the light from the hallway revealing a tall, slender figure as she exited.

**ooo**

Takeshi knocked on the closed door and waited for several moments.

"Enter," answered a voice from inside.

Takeshi threw the latch and pushed the door open. "Kyouya-kun, I almost forgot, but Matsu-kaasan wanted me to ask you—" he suddenly froze as he took in the sight of Haruhi sprawled on the other boy's bed while Kyouya stood off to the side. The doorknob creaked as Takeshi suddenly applied pressure. "Am I interrupting something?" he said, his voice artificially calm.

Haruhi blinked, "Eh? Takeshi-sempai, are you okay?"

Kyouya sighed as he grabbed a shirt off a nearby chair and picked up his laptop. "Haruhi-kun apparently had a disagreement with her dinner, the others ran her to the first restroom they could find, which happened to be mine, apparently." He stepped around Takeshi and started walking down the hallway. "We'll discuss this later, I'm going to work on tomorrow's schedule, please try not to make a mess," he teased as he walked off.

Takeshi bristled at the request and all it implied, then shook his head and visibly deflated. Thunder rumbled in the distance and he turned back to face the room, where Haruhi was now sitting up, her feet swinging along the edge of the bed as she looked out the window. "Haruhi-san, did anything else happen with Kyouya?"

Haruhi shook her head. "Nothing much. He was just trying to explain why he felt I should take better care of myself in the future."

"By doing what?" Takeshi fought to keep the anger from his voice, thought he knew it was a useless effort before her. "What sort of explanation involves him being shirtless and throwing you onto a messed up bed?"

"A messed up.." Haruhi's eyes narrowed, "Hey, nothing happened! He was probably just out of the shower when Hikaru and Kaoru shoved me in here. We just talked, nothing more."

Takeshi sighed and walked over to the nearby desk. He sat down heavily in the chair, "I know. I'm sorry. It's just... like earlier today. I was worried about you."

"I know," Haruhi's tone softened. "The others explained that to me too, I'm sorry I worried you." She looked up and stared at him, "You and Tamaki seemed to take it worse than the others, though. Tamaki's just being weird, but I haven't seen you act that way except around your family."

Takeshi raised his head in surprise. "Well, I have a reason to," he snapped. "You're my Ashikabi."

"Eh?" Haruhi's hand rose absently to run across her lower lip, "You mean your condition didn't go away? You're still, um, 'Reacting'?"

Takeshi gave her an incredulous look. "What? No that... it did what it was supposed to. But it's not just that, I also... I mean we... did _that!"_

"We kissed?" Haruhi blinked obliviously. "But that was just to help your condition I thought. What else do you mean?"

Takeshi let out a strangled sound and rose from his chair in agitation. "You know what? I don't want to talk about it right now. Let me get my head straight first." He spun and headed for the door. "You should get some sleep, it's getting late."

"Ah," Haruhi rose to her feet. "Wait, Sempai—"

Suddenly the window flashed with light, barely a second later thunder cracked through the air as the storm outside reached a new level.

Takeshi paused as he felt a slim hand grab onto his sleeve. He turned around just as Haruhi let go, an embarrassed blush covering her face. "Haruhi-san?"

"Ah, erm." She looked uncharacteristically flustered. "Sorry, it's nothing."

Lightning and thunder boomed through the room once more and she snapped into rigidity, thought she didn't vocalize anything.

"Ah, ahah... sorry," she said. She quickly looked around then headed over to a walk-in closet. "I just remembered something important I needed to do, so I'll just step into here for a bit..."

"Um, Haruhi-san," Takeshi said in confusion. "What sort of business involves a closet—?"

Another boom filled the room as she slammed the door shut.

Takeshi blinked. "Haruhi, are you scared of thunder?"

Silence.

Takeshi stepped over and yanked at the door handle, "Haruhi! Come back out here, it's even worse if you try to deal with it all by yourself!"

"It's okay, Takeshi-sempai," a shaky voice floated from the closet. "I've always rode it out this way."

"...Always?" Takeshi slowly lowered his hand from the doorknob. "Wasn't there anybody to stay with you?"

"My dad's always busy with work," she returned. "Aside from him, who else would be around?" Thunder crashed outside and he heard a muffled squeak.

"Who...else?" Takeshi blinked. "You've always been alone?" _She didn't call for help, even when we were right there in front of her,_ he mused. _She's always dealt with things on her own. She's always _had _to. . ._

"You know," a familiar voice said from behind him. "Closets like that tend to have metal linings that run through the frames of houses like these. So it would probably be the easiest place to run into a random lightning bolt—"

Another boom echoed through the room as the door simultaneously burst open. Haruhi literally flew out from the small room and crashed into Takeshi, knocking them both to the ground, flat on his back. He reflexively curled his arms around her body as she landed on top of him.

Thunder boomed again and Haruhi burrowed her face deeper into his chest. "That was a cruel joke," she complained.

The voice from before sounded amused. "But it got you out of there. He's right, you know. You shouldn't have to deal with anything by yourself anymore. You have your Club and you have Takeshi. You're his Ashikabi, that practically makes you family."

Takeshi craned his head back, staring up from the ground at the figure standing over him.

Riko raised a hand in greeting, "Yo, Takeshi-nii."

**ooo**

"How long have you been here?" Takeshi said carefully. He had to concentrate to maintain an even tone, if he relaxed too much, he'd probably do something he would regret later.

He and the rest of the club, along with a curiously rested Tamaki, were seated back in the main room. Haruhi was seated next to him, not touching him, but closer to him than decorum probably allowed. She was currently wearing a pair of noise-cancelling headphones Hikaru had brought with him, music playing low enough to let her hear the others even while giving her a background noise to take her mind off the thunder outside.

Riko was lying on a couch still recovering from Hannya exposure, so she simply raised a twitching hand towards a pair of redheads. Takeshi slowly turned his head, and the look in his eyes caused Hikaru and Kaoru to cling to each other.

"We'd run out of ideas to scare Haruhi with," Hikaru explained. "So we figured we could ask your sister for advice!"

"We had her number from our visit the other day," Kaoru added. "When we asked her if she had any, she told us she had the perfect idea for what we were doing!"

Takeshi looked back over at his sister, holding the stare until she was coherent enough to formulate a response.

"I was taking Primy for a walk when they reached me," Riko said finally. "It seemed as good an idea as any at the time." She slowly levered herself back into a sitting position. "I snuck into the house while you were all distracted by Primy – that was the funniest thing I've ever seen by the way. I never would have imagined Haruhi would have the guts to just _pet_ him! Anyhow, once I saw that wasn't going to work, I started thinking of some other ideas to try, but then I overheard your arguments in the aftermath."

"But we never saw you anywhere!" Hani protested. "I would have sensed you, or Takashi would have!"

Takeshi shifted his shoulders uneasily. "Riko is very proficient at getting around undetected; she's one of the biggest pranksters in my family. While Karin's are probably more imaginative, Riko's executions are practically undetectable. We still don't know how she pulls off some of what she does."

""Re~ally?""

Takeshi glared at them and the twins subsided. He pretended to not notice Riko holding up a hand to her head and making _call me_ motions with it. He cleared his throat, pointedly looking at his younger sister.

"Anyhow," she continued. "So I heard your conversation, didn't quite like what I heard, so I changed targets."

"To who?" Kyouya said, clearly suspicious.

Riko merely smiled coyly and pressed her hands together innocently.

Somehow, every head turned as one towards Tamaki, who was still looking slightly dazed, lost in a daydream of some kind. He suddenly let out a strange giggle and blood began trickling from his nose.

"What did you do to him?" Takeshi demanded.

"No~othing... much."

""Pervert,"" the twins stared at Tamaki with a look of contempt. ""Nosebleeder! Hentai!""

"Here's what I want to know." Everybody turned to look at Haruhi, who's brows were furrowed in concentration. Her eye twitched as another crack of thunder – loud enough to reach her through the headphones and music – echoed through the room. "So all the weird things you guys were doing to me today, the random places and objects you'd throw at me. Are you saying this all started because you were trying to look for my _weak point?"_

"Um, I guess you could say that," Hikaru shrugged.

Haruhi snapped her eyes over to Takeshi, "Sempai, please tell me you weren't part of this."

"Of course he was!" Kaoru exclaimed. "Once he realized what the prize was he was all for it, his enthusiasm only second to _Tono's_!"

"That's—" Takeshi bit out.

"Ah, that reminds me," Kyouya said as he rifled through a briefing folder. He withdrew the stack of photographs and handed them to Takeshi with a flourish. "Your prize, good sir."

Takeshi numbly took the photos, then grimaced as Haruhi and Riko leaned into him to look at them.

"Hey, she looked pretty cute back then," Riko said. Her eyes flicked over to the girl across from her. "You should grow your hair out again, I think it suits you."

"Takeshi-sempai," Haruhi said slowly. "I thought you were better than this. . . "

Takeshi looked around in dismay, from Riko and the twins who were smirking at him; Kyouya's smug expression; Hani's disappointed look that gave Haruhi a run for her money; Mori looked as impassive as ever, but Takeshi detected a faint note of disapproval in his eyes. Tamaki was still in a daze, thought Kyouya had shoved a tissue up his nose.

"This isn't what it looks like!"


	64. F:SD Sidestory 04 Storytime

_(a/n) – sorry for lack of updates, stuff and stuff with school projects and whatnot. no ouran for now cuz i sorta lost my train of thought too..._

_here's something that wouldn't leave my head after watching the lucky star oav's_

* * *

><p><strong>FateSchool Days – Sidestory 04: Story Time**

* * *

><p>Rin Tohsaka-Emiya was not a happy person. Today was yet another weekend where the majority of the household was absent, people either day-tripping around the country or otherwise spending their free time with their friends in various downtown diversions. As always, most of the younger children were left behind under the watchful supervision of one or two of the adults. Normally somebody would volunteer, but in the few cases where that did not happen they would draw straws.<p>

Today, Rin had drawn the short one.

Normally she would not mind so much, except this time _That Woman _had decided to leave her brats at home, so Rin found herself staring into the watery eyes of Aleksi and Aliisa and struggling mightily not to curse their drill-haired mother out loud. "What is it _now?_" she demanded.

The fraternal twins looked at each other then shrugged. ""We're bored,"" they chimed together.

"Ichi-nee just wants to spend all her time in her garden," Aleksi said.

"And Shin-nee is doing her quiet thing again," Aliisa added. "She's no fun to be around."

"Well, just watch TV or something!" Rin said.

"Mama said we shouldn't watch TV without an adult," said Aleksi.

"And the adult can't be Matsu-kaachan."

Rin face-palmed as she immediately recalled several instances explaining why Luvia had made that rule for her children. For all her apparent intelligence, Matsu was far too careless in leaving her video collections in the entertainment centers. Unfortunately, while Rin was confident in simply turning on a television and channel surfing, she still had never bothered to learn how to flip through the various auxiliary inputs, nor did she even know which doohickey was most likely to hold the redhead's disc or tape or whatever she used nowadays. So, sitting them in front of an electronic babysitter was probably out of the question.

"Having problems, Kaa-chan?"

Rin looked over to see Karin walking over with a small book tucked under her arm. Sometimes she wondered about Karin, she almost never seemed to leave the house except for school. "Maybe. Bored kids. _Her_ bored kids. But if you think you have a suggestion, don't think we've forgotten that little mess you and Koyuki made."

Karin pouted, "That was _years_ ago. Besides, this one's not so messy." She held up her book, "I thought we could read them a story."

"Story?" Aliisa perked up. "What's it about?"

Karin flipped the book around and stared at the cover, "Oh, it's about a prince, a girl, fairy godmothers, and the like."

Rin arched an eyebrow, "Cinderella?"

"Something like that."

Rin dusted her hands off, "Well then, I guess I can leave these two to you. I'll be in my study." She started to step away, then stopped as she felt a tug on her sleeve. She turned around to find Aleksi holding his arms out towards her.

"Lap," the boy demanded.

"Oh for the love of—" Rin began, then she saw Aliisa mirroring her twin's pose. She sighed and dropped onto the nearest couch, shifting positions to make herself comfortable as the two toddlers climbed on top of her. Her arms automatically came up to cradle them against her side – years of parenthood had given her a few habits she had yet to grow out of – and she gave Karin a perfunctory nod once they were settled in. "Let's get this over with... "

Karin had a smile on her face as she sat down in a nearby chair and settled the book on her own lap. " 'Kay. So, here we go. . . Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a young woman who—"

"What was the woman like?" Aliisa was almost bouncing with excitement.

"Um," Karin glanced down at the book, then flipped a few pages. "Wait one... " She thumbed her way through the next few pages with increasing speed, then simply held up the book sideways and tilted her head to the side. She kept a thumb pressed against the raised end of the book so the pages fell one at a time. Her eyes flickered back and forth at a speed which, quite frankly, unnerved Rin. Finally she clapped the book closed and placed it on her lap. She remained still for a few more moments, then her face lit up with a mischievous smile.

...

_Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a young woman who lived in a small town with her wicked stepmother and stepsisters._

_Our heroine was cruelly mistreated by her family. Her body was thin from the terrible food that was all she was given to eat, and wiry from the labors her family would force her to do. Her eyes were like bright, hm... sapphires. She had long, flowing hair, the color of the ashes they forced her to sleep in. Since she always had to do the chores, she kept it tied up, out of the way. Here, and here..._

...

Karin motioned her hands to either side of her head, suggesting the positioning for twin-tails.

""Ooh... ""

Rin narrowed her eyes.

...

_But the young woman was prideful, she refused to let anybody know how she felt about her family's treatment of her. So to outsiders, she was always unfailingly polite and well-mannered. But behind that mask, she was quietly raging and looking for opportunities to get even against her wicked stepmother and stepsisters._

...

Rin was fairly certain that's not how the story went... at least not as she had remembered it from her own childhood.

...

_But, in that same land, there was a young prince. His father had recently passed away and he was growing used to the idea of being a hero of his kingdom. Our young heroine, like many others in the land, was smitten by the dashing prince—_

...

"What's 'smitten'?" Aleksi asked.

...

_Smitten, verb, past-participle; in this context it's to be strongly attracted to someone. A~anyhow, our heroine was deeply in love with the young prince. But, because she was so used to hiding her feelings, she pretended to be as cold towards him as she was to everybody else._

...

"Oh no!" Aliisa gasped.

Rin's uneasy feeling increased as she felt Karin's eyes on her.

"What's her name?" Aleksi asked.

Karin opened her eyes in mock surprise. "Oh, her name! I'm sorry." Her smile grew wider as she looked Rin in the eye.

...

_Our heroine's name... is Tsunderella._

...

"Huh?" Aleksi frowned. "I think I've heard that name before... "

Aliisa put a hand to her cheek, "Me too. I think it was... it was in that big book Mama showed us!"

"The one with all the words?"

"Yeah!"

Rin quietly fumed at her own step-daughter. Karin smiled innocently in return.

Aleksi half turned around, "Rin-kaachan, do you know what 'tsunde–' " He suddenly gasped as he saw her scowling face. "Ah! Just like the picture!"

Aliisa seemed to come to the same conclusion. "Rin-kaachan is Tsunderella?"

The twin-tailed parent opened her mouth to say in no-uncertain terms she was most _definitely_ not Tsunderella, but she paused as she saw the wide-eyed, innocent looks on the two toddler's faces. Her mouth bobbed silently for a few moments, then she lifted her head as Karin let out a muffled chuckle.

"Yes," she sighed, slumping back against the couch. "I guess I'm 'Tsunderella'." She narrowed her eyes. "But Luvia is one of the wicked step-sisters."

Aleksi and Aliisa gasped in dismay. ""What?""

Karin toppled out of her chair, cackling madly.


	65. EC: Ouran 11

_(a/n) – random shoutouts, not sure how many of you noticed but i have a new story also being worked on. considering i've been dumping everything into this one, i'm not surprised people wouldn't check my profile. see **"Scrapped" **(.net/s/7445882/1/Scrapped), a sekirei prequel-fic about our favorite canon kuudere. anyhow, it's not an EC-centric story, hence why it's not here, go check my profile. i'll probably being going back and forth between the two, unless i find myself without much classwork and can work on them both during the week.  
><em>

_second thing is a new EC series by **maximorph1 "Black Knight" **(.net/s/7449423/1/EC_Black_Knight). it's kiri-centric with at least 2 major story arcs + a few character building snippets. i find it notable for the Clan Wars arc, which was the long discussed but never pulled off 5th HGW using the EC children_  
><em>(img684. imageshack. us img684/ 8025/ ecfateclanwarsv2. jpg) here's a minor teaser_

_now, regarding the actual ouran plot, probably my own fault, but since i'm pulling random story arcs from the manga i find myself writing the events in that storyline too closely. i try to shuffle it a bit, but more often than not i find myself shoe-horning in takeshi's contributions and sidelining tamaki's interactions with haruhi. although part of that is inevitable if we're replacing our OC as the romantic interest, i'm not entirely happy with it. let me know if you agree, or if you think i'm doing fine. aaanyhow...  
><em>

* * *

><p>The ninety-ninth repetition is completed and I set the quill to the side to let the ink dry. Shaking my hand out to work out the kinks – quill nibs are much harder to write with than a ball-point pen – I lean back to inspect my handiwork. My target's name is scrawled across the page in several neat columns, leaving an open space ready for the one-hundredth iteration. It's written on parchment – <em>real <em>parchment – since this is too important to allow for artificial stationary to enter the mix and the ink was created from scratch using imported oak galls and iron.

I sense the presence over my shoulder shortly before the man behind me speaks up in delight. "Ah! I see you have completed another curse, Hime. Is this the same target as your other ones?"

On the far side of my desk lies a stack of papers, parchments, cards, and other simple objects. Each of them have my curse's target written on them in neat handwriting, the product of my labors for the past several days. The curses have been chosen with great care, designed to steal away the soul of my target. Once this final piece is completed I should have enough for my purposes. To shower my target with curse upon curse and achieve my goal. Perhaps he will run away after the first several curses, as many recipients in the past have done so. Then again, these are _special_ curses, and I've chosen my target with these spells in mind.

I don't know what I'd do if the curse failed, but the idea is so abhorrent I'd rather not think about it. Instead I turn my head and level a stare at the man behind me. "You're friends with the club members; have you given them adequate warning, Nekozawa-kaichou?"

"Indeed," a smile emerges from the others' hooded face. "Though I am curious to know, what sort of grudge do you have against this individual?"

I turn back to stare down at the drying parchment, avoiding my Club President's gaze. "Actually, he... " I paused for a few moments, try to sort out how I could best put this into words. "He has captured my soul... "

**ooo**

* * *

><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Ouran 11<strong>

* * *

><p>Takeshi was in the clubroom, as usual. However, instead of actively entertaining his guests, he had begged Kyouya for the day off so he could study for an upcoming test. It wasn't that he was falling behind in his grades, he just felt like he wasn't where he wanted to be in regards to his schoolwork. The Host Club's vice president was remarkably understanding, however he did suggest that Takeshi make use of a spare table in the room, rather than finding a different place to study.<p>

"As you probably know, aside from you almost all of our members are in the Top Three rankings for their grades," the bespectacled boy had said. "I'm sure we could assist you in your studies should you ever find the need."

Takeshi had appreciated the gesture at the time, but after several hours the real reason for Kyouya's request became apparent as another shrill voice cut into his reading.

"Kyaa~ Takeshi-kun looks so serious when he studies!" exclaimed one of his regulars. Her voice was lowered into what she probably thought was a whisper, but her excitement kicked the volume to a level where it was easily distinguished from the background conversation.

"He's so handsome when he's serious!" another voice squealed.

The pencil Takeshi had been taking notes with snapped in his hand and he lowered his head into the now empty palm with a grimace. Apparently his new position resembled what he privately liked to call a 'Tamaki-Pose', because the couch behind him erupted with more squealing.

"Would any of you ladies like more tea?" he heard the Shadow King speak up. Despite having several full, lukewarm drinks on their tables already, the distracted students readily accepted the offer. Since Takeshi's normal customers couldn't put in their usual payments unless they designated a different host for the day – which wasn't possible simply because most of the hosts were booked days in advance – Kyouya had clearly connived the third-year into sticking around... and then went about making up the lost income with sales from the club's minibar selections.

On one hand, Takeshi really had to admire the Ootori's ability to adapt to the situation and make the most out of it. On the other hand, he was becoming rather annoyed at the distractions keeping him from his studies. And if it wasn't _these _girls...

Almost as if the thought had been a signal, a large group of girls across the room began shrieking in happiness as Hikaru and Kaoru concluded one of their little plays.

_That's it, break time._ He fought the urge to slap his notebook shut and storm out of the room, controlling himself enough to carefully pile away his books and notes into a neat little pile and rise gracefully from his chair. Fortunately he didn't have to acknowledge his stalkers; in fact by ignoring them he allowed them to believe they had been successful in their surreptitious observations. The hushed squeals that erupted as he passed them let him know he'd guessed right. He sighed quietly as he realized – not for the first time – just how much he was getting used to the antics of the girls who populated the Host Club.

As he walked over to the door, he idly scanned the room for his Ashikabi. Haruhi appeared to be engrossed with her own set of customers, but as his gaze fell upon her he noticed her eyes flick over towards him as she tilted her head. He looked away evasively and shook his head briefly as he continued walking towards the front desk. From the corner of his eye he saw her leaning back into her couch with a smile as her customers giggled happily to whatever she had just said to them.

The whole exchange was lost by the rest of the room, her actions perfectly in keeping with fielding and responding to a question from one of her own customers. Had she not been his Ashikabi, even he might have assumed her motions were completely unrelated to their exchange. As it was, he doubted anybody else in the room would have been able to notice the silent conversation. It was no wonder she was hailed by the club members as a 'Natural-type'.

_Are you alright?_

_It's nothing, don't worry._

He felt the dark mood he'd been nursing evaporate in the face of her concern, but he squashed down his response as Kyouya looked up from where he was sitting. "Emiya-sempai?" he asked curiously.

"Just going for a quick walk to clear my head, Kyouya-kun," Takeshi replied. "I should be back shortly."

Before the other student could respond, Takeshi had swept through the door and out into the hallway. As he did so, he nearly knocked over a female student who had been reaching for the door handle. His arm snapped out reflexively for her own, keeping her from falling, but the collision knocked several items out of her arms where they dropped to the floor with a clatter. "Ah! I'm sorry about that," he said.

The female student immediately dropped to her knees to sweep them back into a neat stack without a word. Takeshi also knelt down to assist her, when he suddenly noticed a small wooden doll to one side. A very _familiar_ wooden doll.

The student was just reaching for the figurine when Takeshi snatched it off the floor before she could grab it herself. There was a soft outcry from her, but Takeshi ignored it as he gazed into the carved face of a Beelzenef cursed doll. Suddenly, Nekozawa's warning several days ago flooded back into his mind.

_...You should beware of a female who plans _terrible _curses for one of your number. . ._

Takeshi looked up at the female student glaring at him. Her long, black hair was parted down the middle to frame a stoic-looking face. She wore the uniform of a first-year student, but despite that she did not seem nervous to be stared down by a third-year. Instead, she held out her arm expectantly. "Please return that item to me," she said quietly.

Takeshi held it out of her reach, narrowing his eyes. "Do you even know what this is?" he asked carefully. He could be wrong, maybe this wasn't the person Nekozawa had been warning him about; maybe she simply thought it was a cute thing to carry around. Girls sometimes did that.

Her next words disabused him of that notion. "It is a very powerful cursed item. I need it for... my own purposes." Her own eyes narrowed at him. "And it is not meant for you. Please, return it to me before you accidentally bring misfortune down upon yourself."

He still held it away. "Who is this for?" he asked. "Whatever they might have done, you might still be able to work things out with them. This is not the way to solve things." He didn't really think that Nekozawa's little toys had any power whatsoever, but he did share Haruhi's belief that people shouldn't be trying to bring down curses upon those who had wronged them. If they were allowed to hold on to that mindset, in the rare event a real cursed item showed up it could prove to be disastrous.

The girl's eyes flicked over his shoulder to the door behind him. "My only target lies behind you. Please, return that item to me." Her face was still expressionless, which cost him a split-second of reaction time when she suddenly lunged forward to snatch it out of his hand.

He smoothly swung the figurine to the side, dodging her grasping fingers and brought his arm up to where he could see it. Inwardly he grimaced. This was probably a girl similar to Ayanokouji-san, holding an unhealthy crush on one of the Host Club members, most likely jealous at the attention a specific customer had been receiving from that particular Host. He'd have to let Kyouya know so he could take the appropriate steps. But first he needed to know who this girl's target was. He absently dodged a few more retrieval attempts as he flipped the Beelzenef figurine around in his hands so he could see the name written down on its back.

He froze as he read the characters placed down in neat handwriting. "Huh... " he said.

**ooo**

"Reiko Kanazuki," Kyouya said as he tapped away at his laptop. "First year student, from a fairly respectable family, but her grades are unimpressive. She's assigned to Class D." His fingers stilled as he came upon the next section in his database. "She's a member of the Black Magic Club."

""Well, that explains all of _this._"" The twins motioned towards the piles and piles of trinkets, papers, and totems now spread out along the table. They stared at the girl now sitting quietly at the far end, looking nonplussed at the attention she was currently receiving. She had remained there quietly until the Host Club ended its activities for the day. ""And we thought she was your typical, reserved, long black-haired bishoujo.""

"How unfortunate, it seems curses are her hobby and specialty," Kyouya adjusted his glasses. He flipped over one of the sheets of paper, the name 'Mitsukuni Haninozuka' clearly written in bold lettering.

"Wahh!" the tiny blonde wailed. "Why am I being cursed? Am I going to be killed?"

Mori immediately stood up from his chair and stalked over towards the girl. "...I'll have a talk with her," he said darkly. He began to roll up his sleeves.

"Mori-sempai!" Tamaki barked, "You musn't use violence!"

"Indeed," whispered a dark voice. Nekozawa appeared out of nowhere to drape his arm over Tamaki's shoulders. "Interfering with a curse will cause _great_ misfortune, isn't that right, Suoh-ku~un?"

The taller blonde shrieked and threw himself to the side.

"Nekozawa-sempai?" Haruhi blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Why wouldn't I come to my cute, little club member's defense?" Nekozawa turned and leaned towards Hani, oblivious to Mori looming over his side. "What about it, Haninozuka-kun? What have you done to earn our Curse Mistress's attention? Kanazuki-kun has said you captured her soul... " He leaned over and picked up one of the totems. "She plans to get even with you by capturing yours in turn."

Takeshi turned towards the girl, sitting quietly by herself. "Is this true?" he asked, the air behind him darkening slightly. Nekozawa gasped happily.

Kanazuki nodded calmly in the face of the threat. "It is," she confirmed. She reached into a pocket and pulled out a small object, displaying it for everybody to see. "This is a type of curse that captures a person's soul, by writing their full name like so."

Hikaru leaned forward. "Isn't that... "

"... an eraser?" Kaoru frowned. "Yes, yes it is... "

Nekozawa picked up a hand-mirror from the table, "And as you can see here, she uses a mirror – one of the strongest objects for reflecting an individual's soul – and applies her curse using _pink nail polish!_"

Takeshi's technique fizzled as he suddenly blinked in surprise. "I'm sorry, what?"

Haruhi poked at a different part of the mirror, "And what are the hearts for... ?"

"Here," Kanazuki had joined them at the table and held up a crude drawing of an umbrella, with her name written to one side of the handle. She slid the paper towards Hani, "This is an incomplete curse, Haninozuka-sempai, if you could write your own name on the other side, it will complete the spell."

"Um," Kaoru was poking at the eraser now. "Is this what I think it is... ?"

"If I recall correctly," Hikaru said, "Some of the girls in elementary school would often do things like this... "

"Oh!" Nekozawa looked pleased. "So you know of it!" He pulled a small tome from his sleeve and displayed it's brilliant pink cover. "As far as curses go, even this one seems popular amongst the masses!"

_"Girls in Love, Win his Love" _Haruhi read the title in a disbelieving tone. Hani peeked his head around her arm to look at it.

""That's not a curse book!"" the twins exclaimed.

"No," a quiet voice said from behind them. "It is a curse," Kanazuki insisted. She briskly walked up to the blonde third-year and bowed respectfully. "Haninozuka-sempai, a strand of your hair, if you please." Without waiting for his reply, her arm shot out to grab at his head.

"Ahh!" Hani wailed in pain. He quickly rushed over to hide behind Mori as the female cultist inspected the bright yellow hair she'd retrieved.

Kanazuki pulled a strand from her own head, not even flinching at the sharp pain it must have brought her. She brought both hands together and began to fiddle with the two strands awkwardly. "If I intertwine this with my own hair, it creates a powerful curse which will bind our souls together," she explained.

Almost nobody could respond to this sudden chain of events. At least not in a coherent manner.

"Ah... " Tamaki stumbled over. "Kanazuki-san, could it be... you actually... _like _Honey-sempai?"

Kanazuki looked up for a long moment as she thought about it. She shook her head and pulled out a handkerchief to store her newly-made charm. "Technically speaking, I am merely capturing his soul."

"Right... so you're trying to steal his heart."

"Hm, if I had to put it into words... I suppose you could say Haninozuka-sempai occupies nearly nine-tenths of my thoughts and causes my heart to race," she said with a completely straight face.

"So all you need to do is just think about Honey-sempai... " Haruhi said.

"He's very small and good-looking, just like a pixie, which I find I am drawn towards."

"You've got a fetish for small, handsome things?" Kaoru asked.

"He has captured my soul, so I must capture his in turn," she continued, ignoring the side comments. "Therefore, until I have succeeded, I will continue to curse Haninzoka-sempai." Her face remained impassive, but a light blush now dusted her cheeks.

"She's obsessed," Hikaru concluded.

**ooo**

A few days later, Haruhi walked in to find Honey chomping morosely on a large cake. It seemed no matter what his mood was like, he nevertheless found time to indulge in his favorite treat. She looked around briefly, then walked over to a nearby table where Takeshi was going over his schoolwork again. "I thought your test was today," she said. "Why are you still studying?"

Her Sekirei – she mulled over the unfamiliar word for a few moments – looked up with an annoyed expression. "I think I flubbed one or two of the questions, I'm just going over my notes to see if I can figure out where I made the mistake."

"I see." She dropped into the seat across from him and nodded back the way she had come. "Honey-sempai seems to be pretty worn out."

Takeshi grunted, "That's putting it lightly. I guess since she was found out, Kanazuki-san feels she can move around more openly. She's been visiting him during the breaks between classes, asking him to sign his life away or some other sort of curse." He spun his pencil around his fingers idly. "Half the class thinks it's kind of cute, the other half is just getting worried about his mental health. A Hani-kun that's not bouncing around like he's on a sugar-high is... disturbing to be around."

"Shouldn't we do something about it then?" Haruhi asked.

""We could push them together."" The twins dropped into the leftover seats between them and leaned back. Takeshi started packing up his books, apparently concluding he wasn't going to be getting any work done while the two of them were around.

"When you think about it," Kaoru said, "Their compatibility must be pretty high."

"Opposites attract and all that." Hikaru leaned his head onto his hands with a grin. "Also, if you're the type of person who would like Honey-sempai, then it suggests you might do well with kids."

"You guys," Haruhi let out a long-suffering sigh. "Try putting yourself in his shoes for a moment... "

The two redheads fell quiet for a few moments, then shuddered. ""Boring,"" they finally announced.

"I do wonder though," Takeshi said thoughtfully. "Since Kanazuki-san resembles one of my sisters."

"Which one?" Hikaru asked.

"Probably the one you'd never pay attention to," Takeshi said flatly. "Heck, even I sometimes have a hard time noticing when she's around. She's always quiet and doesn't seem to make friends easily." He frowned, "In fact, I'm not sure she has _any_ friends other than her sisters."

"Hm, is that the one with the doll? Or the one with blue-hair?" Haruhi asked.

Takeshi opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted as Honey walked over to their table.

"Takeshi-kun is right," Honey said. "I've been watching her too these past few days. Aside from the Black Magic Club, I don't think Kanazuki-chan has any friends." He nibbled on his fork thoughtfully. "It's rather sad, actually. What would you do in my place?"

"Well, I don't know about Kanazuki-san specifically," Takeshi rubbed his chin. "But my sister – sisters," he corrected with a glance towards Haruhi. "If either of them found somebody they cared about, they'd probably latch onto them in a heartbeat and do whatever they could to make their ashi– to make their crush understand their feelings. If they couldn't outright say it, they'd find some other way."

"So maybe it's the same for Kanazuki-chan," Honey said. "Maybe it's because she's really bad at socializing, but I think curses and spells are her only ways for communicating her feelings."

"You could be right."

Honey fell silent again as he stabbed at his cake. "Seeing it that way, I guess I can't be upset at Kanazuki-chan. She's just trying so hard, I can't be angry at her for that."

The door to the clubroom clicked open and the girl in question poked her head through the gap. "Excuse me, Haninozuka-sempai?" She looked around the room for a few moments, then her gaze fell on the table where he'd been eating his cake previously. She walked over to the table, then picked up Honey's plush rabbit where he'd left it in his chair. "I will be borrowing this, if you don't mind."

"What? What are you going to do with Usagi-san?" Honey nearly dropped his plate.

"I think he can angry at her for _that_," Hikaru snarked.

"I will be using a curse that works when you cast the spell on an important item of theirs," Kanazuki explained. "I will return this to you tomorrow, so if you'll excuse me... "

"No! _No!_" Honey wailed.

Kanazuki suddenly blinked as Mori loomed over her and deftly plucked Usagi-san from her hands. The tall boy stared down at her with an expression of disapproval. "...If you really wish to capture his heart, shouldn't there be other methods you can use?"

The cultist narrowed her eyes at the tall third-year. "Hand me the stuffed animal, please. If you interfere with this spell, then I will have to cast a curse of misfortune on you."

"Mitsukuni's not the type of person who would be swayed by the threats of someone who doesn't think of others' feelings," Mori said. "It doesn't matter how many curses or spells you would use, such things wouldn't have any effect on his heart."

The other Hosts fell silent at the sight of the normally taciturn student lecturing the first year. As Mori spoke, they noticed Kanazuki's eyes widening, then she lowered her head, hiding her face underneath her bangs.

"It's... not like I haven't considered his feelings," she said quietly. "And I don't expect anybody to understand my situation – I don't expect that he'll really start to like me or anything."

She looked up at Honey briefly, then ducked her head again. Her hands shook against her sides. "But, I'm no good at... talking... like this. It's impossible for me, so... I can only use a curse to—"

"That's not it, Kanazuki-chan!" Honey bounced over to her. "If you need somebody to understand you, you can only talk to them!" Honey reached out and grabbed Usagi-san back from Mori, clutching the plushie to his chest. "If you want somebody to like you, then you need to talk to them a lot!" He knelt down so he could look at her face with an unobstructed view. "Takashi is right, I don't like people who try to change others with curses or spells. But if you wanted me to know about what you like or what you're not good at, I'll be happy to listen to you!"

"Honey-sempai," Hikaru was saying in a low voice. "That sounds like something _Tono_ would say... "

Haruhi smiled warmly as Kanazuki's face went red. She suddenly felt a bump against her shoulder and looked over to see Takeshi next to her, his face turned away. She grinned again and leaned against him briefly to bump him back.

"Kanazuki-chan," Honey said, standing back up. "I like people who try their best at things, even if they're not very good at it."

"That really is something he'd say!" Kaoru whispered back.

"Honey-sempai is being so manly and cool!" Tamaki sobbed.

The others jumped back, "Where did you come from?" Hikaru demanded.

"I like..."

They fell silent again as Reiko Kanazuki lifted her head again to look Honey in the eye. Fortunately, since she still towered over the diminutive third-year, she didn't have to raise her head very far.

"I like... c-curses," she said softly. "I'm not good at socializing, so I don't have very many friends. But then... one day, I fell in the hallway. Of all the people around, you were the only one to stop and see if I was okay. And then... you smiled at me..." She blushed and looked away again. "It made me... very happy," she finished.

Haruhi looked up as Takeshi suddenly groaned.

Honey blinked, then tapped a fist into his palm, "Ah! I remember now! You're the girl that tripped over Usagi-san after I accidentally dropped him that one time!"

Takeshi face-palmed while the others blinked in surprise. ""Huh? So it was Honey-sempai's own fault to begin with?""

**ooo**

"So how much of that was true?"

Takeshi looked up from his notes to see Haruhi standing over his table with a pair of drinks in her hands. "Huh?" He accepted one of them, then waited for her to circle over to the next chair over and drop into it. "What do you mean?"

"The story about your sisters, how they were like Reiko-san," Haruhi said.

Takeshi took a sip of the offered beverage, lifting an eyebrow appreciatively at the taste. "Everything," he said. "Every single word. I was mostly thinking of Koyuki, but you reminded me of my own Reiko." He frowned. "Koyuki probably has it just as bad as Kanazuki-san, except part of her problem is she's introverted by choice. She's just too scared too make any friends outside the family. She might be alright later, since she's a half-Sekirei like me. Sooner or later she'll have to open up once she Reacts."

Haruhi winced. "Doesn't that worry you, though? You seem pretty well adjusted, but you didn't seem to have a good reaction when you uh... Reacted. From the sound of it, she might have a much harder time suddenly trying to find a way to express herself."

Takeshi shrugged, "We'll figure it out when it finally happens. I'm actually more worried about our Reiko. She's even more quiet than Koyuki is, but she's Scrapped. She wont even have the chance to get Winged."

Haruhi tilted her head, "Scrapped?"

Takeshi blanched. "Ah, well..." He looked down dejectedly at his notes. Was he ever going to be able to finish his studying? He sighed and closed his notebook... again. "Well, it's kind of like this. . . "


	66. Emiya Clan Misc: Lorelei

**Emiya Clan Misc – Lorelei**

* * *

><p>In another time, another place, two supernatural beings played a deadly game of tag. One blue, one red, they flashed back and forth across the streets, faster than any human eye could hope to see. Light flashed as bare steel reflected the sun's rays, a high-speed game of keep away between two Servants in the Holy Grail War.<p>

The blue knight grit his teeth and bared a smile. This rush, this adrenaline, it was everything he could have hoped for. "Aaaarcher!" he shouted, rapidly closing the distance between them.

The red knight responding by conjuring innumerable blades, throwing them against the blue knight in a last-ditch effort to maintain the distance. An expert twist of the body just barely managed to avoid the path of a spear, blood-red and glowing with malevolent energies. With all of their focus on the opponent, the red knight failed to notice the spear had cut down the light post chosen as a landing spot. Having unexpectedly missed their landing point, the red knight lost their balance and tumbled to the ground.

The contest was over in a heartbeat. Lancer quickly closed the gap, thrusting out a hand to catch the red knight's wrists and lock them against the ground. His opponent struggled briefly, then looked at him with eyes burning in anger.

"Archer," Lancer growled. "I've caught you!"

The red knight's eyes closed, knowing her life was over as she knew it.

"Please, go out on a date with me!"

Archer-ko groaned and slammed the back of her head against the pavement in frustration.

...

* * *

><p>In yet another time, yet another place, a tall figure laid out a carefully prepared circle of steel and iron filings. The ingredients for the summoning circle had been carefully chosen from memory, the summoner had been present the last time this ritual had been performed successfully. Unfortunately, circumstances beyond her control had prevented her from reaching her goal at that time.<p>

But this time... _this time_... she would succeed.

The final item, a large jewel carefully 'borrowed' from one of her step-mother's hidden locations – in the third drawer of the left-hand dresser of the master bedroom – had been placed carefully in the precise center of the field. Closing her eyes, she raised a hand over the circle and began her chant.

_"Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut... Five perfections for each repetition..."_

...

* * *

><p>The chase was back on.<p>

A blunted sword fired at speed of over one-hundred-twenty kilometers per hour was certainly a force to be reckoned with. However, even one fired at point-blank range would not be enough to disable a Heroic Spirit for very long. That is, unless one had taken care to aim it very... _carefully_.

Archer smirked as Lancer hobbled his way after her. She had to admire his resilience, even if she was more than annoyed in the way he had chosen to display it. She sighed as she passed through the next street over. She could have really used Saber's help right about now, but the King of Knights was still nursing a grudge ever since Archer had found her ice cream stash and plundered it.

She didn't see why; It wasn't like the ice cream had been_ hers_, after all. It had been Shirou's money which had paid for it, which clearly meant it was Shirou's. What was Shirou's was also for everybody, right?

On her next leap, Archer suddenly felt an odd tugging sensation on her body. If she had still been slumming it in the Throne of Heroes, she might have recognized it for the summoning spell it was, but here in the physical world, already involved in the Heaven's Feel Ritual, the lack of context didn't allow her to see it for what it was immediately. Still, the contract she had with Rin held bound her to this world automatically, even as she slowed down her pace while she split her concentration between escaping Lancer and figuring out this odd feeling.

...

* * *

><p><em>"Thy body shall be under my command, my fate shall be determined by thy sword. If thou wouldst obey this mind and this reason, then answer my call."<em>

The summoner frowned. All the conditions were as good, or even better than the previous times she had attempted this summoning. She couldn't understand why she felt resistance. She shrugged, best to soldier on.

Hopefully nothing bad would happen to Kaa-san's jewel, otherwise she'd never hear the end of it.

_"Here, I vow..."_

**ooo**_  
><em>

In another part of the building, a certain redhead was stealthily making his way out of a large room. He wasn't supposed to be there, and he hoped he could get away before the _thing_ he had left behind developed any complications...

*BOOM*

...well, so much for that. The redhead gave up all pretense of stealth and ran away as fast as his body would take him.

His course took him past two girls seated at a table in front of a large tray of pudding. Although they both wore matching dresses of light-leeching black in the same cut and style, they were not quite alike. One was short enough where her feet didn't touch the floor, she swung her legs back and forth childishly; the other was much taller and developed, she held herself with the grace and seasoned calm of someone twice the age she appeared. Both of them looked up from their midday snacks as the redhead zoomed past them, then they both wrinkled their noses as a greasy, thready smoke filled the air.

"Ah... _ahh..."_

...

* * *

><p>Archer leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding a spear-tackle from the obsessed knight. She rebounded off the alley wall, instantly tracing a wall of swords to precede her in a vanguard as she launched herself forward with a flying-kick. She smiled in satisfaction as Lancer gulped in dismay, then narrowed her eyes as his eyes suddenly widened.<p>

"Nice view!" he suddenly cried, throwing out a thumbs-up.

Archer blinked, then remembered she was still in her civilian attire, with it's soft jacket and... thigh-high stockings... and skirt...

Displaying agility that would draw the envy of any acrobat, she flipped around in midair, snatching two of the flying swords in her hands as she spun, and continued diving at him face-first, her blades pulled back for a killing – or at least severely _maiming_ blow.

_Achoo!_

Suddenly, in the back of her head, she heard what sounded like an odd, echoing sneeze. The last thing she saw as a strong magic pulled at her was Lancer's eyes widening in dismay.

Then reality fell apart around her.

...

* * *

><p><em>"Emerge from the ring of control, guardian of the balance!"<em>

Riko suddenly felt the explosion of power as a new magical presence emerged into the world. Anybody with a sliver of mage sense would realize what was going on, which meant everybody in the house now knew what she was up to, but she didn't care. Her glasses misted over and she absently ran a hand across her suddenly drooling mouth. _Hehe... I've done it!_

As the smoke cleared she had just enough time to wonder why the summoning circle still appeared to be empty when her danger sense suddenly flared. She looked up in surprise, then dove backwards, away from the circle as a hail of swords suddenly speared themselves into the floor, shortly followed by a petite-figure slamming to the ground after them. Riko took in her long, braided white hair, red dress-shirt, and black skirt. The young girl was very cute, Riko decided. Very powerful, but most definitely not EMIYA.

"Hauuu..." the girl struggled to her feet, grabbing at her head with both hands. "What the heck was that?" she complained. She looked up suddenly, staring at the purple-haired teen standing at the circle's edge, then dropped one hand to her chin. "Huh, is that you, Rider? I like what you've done with your hair."

**ooo**

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><p><em>(an) – the EC forum members have long asked for archer-ko, but nobody could think of a way to bring her in without cheating._  
><em>well... i gave up. i cheated. (r)eiko!sneeze-powers, activate!<em>

_sword dancers, ahoy!_


	67. F:SD 16

_(a/n) – Random prompt I'm too lazy to make an intro for. Let's just say Shirou, Gil, Sakura, Miya, and even Rin are out of the house._

* * *

><p><strong>FateSchool Days – 16**

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><p>Karin's brows furrowed as she concentrated on the problem at hand.<p>

Leaning forward so her head was resting against the surface, Arturia moaned in discontent as her stomach growled audibly.

From the doorway to the dining hall, Keiko blinked in confusion. "What are you two doing?" she asked.

"Foo~od" the petite blonde wailed.

"We're hungry," Karin added.

"And everybody who can cook is out?" Keiko scratched her head as she walked past them and into the kitchen. "Hm, they wouldn't have left us completely high and dry, would they?" There was the sound of doors opening and closing as Keiko searched cabinets. She came back through the swinging doors and tossed a pair of plastic-wrapped styrofoam cups towards her sister and mother. "Here, instant noodles. That should tide you over until one of them gets back."

Karin poked into the lid and stared down at the dehydrated square block, while Arturia still looked as if a kitten had died. "What am I supposed to do with this?" the redhead asked.

Keiko's eye twitched. "You throw in hot water for a few minutes and eat it. It's instant noodles."

Her sister flipped the cup around in her hands dubiously. "Where do you get the hot water from?"

"Are you serious?" Keiko pointed at a small machine in the corner of the kitchen. "Right there, a water heater. Pour in some water and just turn it on for a bit."

"How do I turn it on?"

Keiko blinked. "I thought you were good with machines... "

Karin rolled her eyes, "Oh please, _Aisai_, it's not even connected to any networks, what do you expect me to do with it?"

Keiko sputtered, "It... it's _hot water_ and _instant noodles_."

**ooo**

"Ahah!" the redhead perked up suddenly. "I've got an idea!" She suddenly leaned across the table, reaching out an arm for the top of Arturia's head.

_*SNAP*_

There was a sudden blur of motion and suddenly Karin found her wrist ensnared in Arturia's iron-grip. She stared into green eyes narrowed in annoyance.

"Don't even think about it," Arturia warned her. "I'm not going out to get you hamburgers. Besides, all of my black clothes are in the wash." She released her step-daughter's arm and leaned in her chair. "Also, there hasn't been a Burger King in this area for several years now, so it would be a pointless effort."

"Mos Burger's still open," Karin replied.

"How lazy can you be?" Keiko growled.

**ooo**

Kiritsugu wandered into the kitchen and found the three women sitting around the dinner table with sullen expressions. "What's going on?"

"They're hungry and don't know how to get food without Dad and the others around," Keiko said. She nodded at Karin, "She can't even boil water to save her life, apparently."

Karin was poking at the noodles, breaking off small pieces and tossing them into her mouth. "They're dry," she complained.

Keiko snorted.

Kiri's eyes lit up, "Is that it? Well if you need to then I—"

_""No!"_" shouted the other three.

"Son, you are my pride and joy," Arturia said. She stood up and loomed over him, "But if you take one step into that kitchen then I will _end_ you."

Kiri gulped and slowly found a seat at the table.

**ooo**

Karin's head popped up as yet another person walked into the room. "Yuki!"

Koyuki stared at the three females and one annoyed-looking male sitting around the table. "Sister," she greeted in return. She nodded greetings towards the others, "What are you all doing here?"

"Apparently we're waiting for food to magically appear in front of us," Kiri said in annoyance. "Since they don't know how to cook and they won't let me even go into the kitchen."

Koyuki froze momentarily as her mind conjured up the horrors that would result if her brother was allowed to have his way. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and stepped into the kitchen herself. "I... see," she said. "I might be able to do something about that... "

"Yes! I knew 'Yuki would save us!" Karin cheered as she heard the sound of condiments and bowls clinking together. "She's totally the type to have learned how to cook and do all those wifely—" She broke off as Koyuki returned with a bowl of ice cream for each of them. "Ah, 'Yuki? This isn't what I quite had in mind."

"It is the only thing I know how to make," Koyuki said apologetically. "Maybe it will alleviate your hunger slightly?"

"But... but... I _believed _in you!" Karin cried.

Keiko shrugged and dug in to an early dessert. "I'm not the one who's starving, but isn't this better than nothing?" She lifted her spoon, then froze in place as she looked up.

Kiri and Arturia both held out their empty bowls towards the bluenette. "More, please."

**ooo**

"Maa~ what's with all the long faces?"

Karin looked up dejectedly, "Hey, Sakuya." Her head collapsed back onto the table's surface. Then it lifted again as she sat up straight in her chair, "What's that you've got there?"

Sakuya dropped the two large bags she had been carrying onto the table and rubbed her arms. "The groceries. How else am I supposed to make dinner tonight?"

"Wha? But... you... "

"Gil-ojisan asked me to cover for him tonight," the purple-haired girl said as she brought one of the bags into the kitchen. She came back out for the second set, a pink, frilly apron slung over her arm. "Didn't you hear?"

"No, but... you can cook?" Karin looked around the table as if for confirmation.

Koyuki nodded as if it had been the most obvious thing in the world. Kiri was nodding and grumbling about the unfairness of life. Arturia had pulled a plate out of nowhere and was sharpening her chopsticks.

"Since when?"

Keiko had a fist held up to her mouth, her eyes shining with amusement. "She's only been helping out when it's her mom's turn since she was, I dunno, eight?"

"Seven and a half," Sakuya sniffed with an air of wounded pride. She finished tying her apron And started to push the kitchen door open. She paused in the frame. "Oh, Karin?"

"Yeah?" Karin looked up nervously.

**"I'll be sure to whip up something **_**special**_** just for you," **Sakuya said without turning around. **"Be sure to enjoy it!** Dinner should be ready in about two hours, everyone!"

Keiko started laughing as Karin's face paled. She stumbled out of her seat, clutching at her stomach as she headed for the far door. "I'll just go let the others know... "

Arturia's hands shook as she clutched her chopsticks. Tears streamed down her face. "Two _hours_?" she wailed.


	68. EC: Ouran 12

_(a/n) – sorry for the late update. my muse has taken a few hits as school kicks into it's second half. busy busy. etc etc. in other news, the EC thread on the forums has hit over 5000 posts and had to be expanded to a second thread, the 2nd thread that has done so as if this posting. yay?_**  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Ouran 12<strong>

* * *

><p>Haruhi was eating lunch at her usual table when a shadow across her. Expecting one of the twins, she was startled to find Takeshi standing beside her with his own lunch in hand.<p>

"Mind if I join you?" the third-year asked her. He slid into the chair next to her when she nodded and began unwrapping his bento.

She finished chewing to cover her surprise. "Takeshi-sempai, it's rare to see you in here. How was your test?" she asked. She'd noticed him studying more and more often during club hours as the winter break approached. Her own classes' series of tests had finished yesterday, and she assumed the rest of the school followed a similar schedule.

"All done, at last." Takeshi snorted as he looked around the noisy dining hall. "Eating in my usual spot is too quiet for me right now, so I thought I'd try something different." He had a slightly sour expression on his face, though it most definitely was not from the food he had brought to the table. Haruhi almost missed his reply as the contents of his lunch made itself known to her. "I think I did alright," he continued, "I don't think I made any major mistakes this time, so I think I should be in the top ten. Though I wish I could have taken it as easily as Hani-kun seemed to, he finished with almost half an hour to spare." His voice shifted, sounding amused. "Did you want to try some? You could have just asked."

Haruhi blinked as she suddenly realized the position she had ended up in. She was leaning almost on top of Takeshi, bringing her head in to follow that heavenly scent back to the small dish in front of him. She quickly raised herself back into a normal position. "Ah, sorry, it's just that I've never seen your lunches before." She tried but couldn't quite keep her gaze from straying towards his bento. "Did you make that yourself?"

Takeshi had an odd expression on his face as he stared at her. After a few moments he coughed and looked down, "Ah, actually I let my parents do all the food prep. They actually fight over who gets to cook on any given day." He used his chopsticks to grab a portion of his meal and drop it onto a clean section of her plate. "Here, today you get to sample Sakura-kaasan's cooking."

Haruhi didn't waste any time, scooping up the food and tossing it into her mouth. As the taste dissolved over her tongue, she knew her face had taken on a slightly dazed look. "It's good~" she moaned.

Takeshi chuckled as he unscrewed the cap to his thermos and set it on the table. "That's the Emiya family, we never ever want to eat out."

"I can see why not," she replied. She held her fork against her mouth, eyeing the rest of his meal speculatively.

Takeshi's grin grew wider at her focused stare, but then he yelped as another student bumped into him, a careless elbow knocking over his thermos and spilling tea across the table. "What the–!"

"Ah, my bad," a familiar redhead drawled. Haruhi looked up to see Hikaru dropping into the seat next to Takeshi. There was a whisper of movement from her other side as Kaoru did the same. "Sorry about that, Emiya-sempai."

"No harm done," Takeshi said as he peered into the container to check the remaining liquid. He sighed as he tossed a napkin over the spilled drink and rose to his feet. "I'm going to go refill, I'll be right back."

"Take your time," Kaoru said, spreading his own napkin over his lap. "We're not going anywhere."

With a brief nod towards his fellow hosts, Takeshi grabbed his thermos and stalked over towards the dining hall's bar. As soon as he was several tables away, Hikaru quickly shifted positions, hopping into Takeshi's seat as he and Kaoru leaned in to sandwich Haruhi between them.

"So," the elder Hitachiin said. "What's going on between you and Emiya-sempai?"

Haruhi blinked, reluctantly delving back into her own meal; it would be rude to steal her sempai's lunch without his permission, after all. "Nothing special, why do you ask?"

"Do normal students with 'nothing special' between them share each other's meals?" Kaoru asked.

"You two do," Haruhi pointed out.

The twins blinked at each other over her shoulders. "She's right about that," Kaoru admitted.

"Speaking of which, did you want some of my salad?"

"Sure, did you want my meat?"

"You _know_ I do," Hikaru grinned at his brother.

Haruhi blinked and waved her hand towards the bento box now in front of Hikaru. "It's just this is the first time I've seen Takeshi-sempai actually eating in the cafeteria, and I can't help but feel like I've been missing out."

Hikaru eyeballed the home-cooked meal speculatively for a few moments, then speared one of the pieces with his fork before Haruhi could even react.

"Ah, I don't think you should—"

"Wow, this _is_ good," Hikaru eye's widened as he chewed. He picked up another piece and held it out, "Try one, Kaoru."

Kaoru leaned forward as he accepted the sample. "Mmm..." His eyes flicked over to Haruhi's as he resettled himself in his chair. "But I still think your stuff is better, Haruhi."

"Hmm, I don't know," she said. "This is the sort of stuff you might find in a high-class restaurant."

"Hah," Hikaru scoffed, grabbing another piece. "Trust me when I say those chefs don't hold a candle to this stuff." He noticed Kaoru narrowing his eyes at him and nodded. "But, Kaoru's right, I think _your_ cooking is way better."

Haruhi arched an eyebrow at him. "False flattery gets you nowhere," she said. She resisted the temptation to join in as the two poked at the Takeshi's lunch while he was still away from the table, although the scents floating up from the box chipped away at her resolve. "I wonder if I can get the recipe from his mother. . ."

Kaoru cleared his throat.

"_Anyhow_," Hikaru said. "We were just wondering what you think about Emiya-sempai."

"What about me?"

Hikaru tilted his head back casually, staring up at Takeshi as the purple-haired student loomed over him. "Yo, Emiya-sempai. We were—"

"—just about to ask Haruhi if she thought you knew how to dance," Kaoru finished smoothly. "The Club is going to be hosting their annual Christmas Ball."

Hikaru grinned and spun around in his seat. "I hope you're in practice with your ballroom dancing, Emiya-sempai."

"Not really," Takeshi admitted. "But it's when, a week from now? I'm sure I could manage something presentable by that time." He gave the Hitachiin a pointed glare, and Hikaru dutifully moved back into his own seat as Takeshi placed his newly refilled thermos back onto the table.

"What about you, Haruhi?" Kaoru was asking. "Have you ever had the chance to experience a formal dance before?"

"Those sorts of things don't interest me," Haruhi replied, digging into her own food. "I'd rather just skip the whole thing, if we have enough people already."

Kaoru grinned. "We thought you might say that," he said. "_Tono _said he'd cut your debt in half if you were able to master at least one dance by the end of the week and impress the customers with it."

Haruhi suddenly bit down onto her fork with enough force to chip at the silverware. "H-half?" she gasped, pounding at her chest. She fell silent as she ran the calculations through her head. This was a huge chance to help relieve her burden. "Um, I suppose I could," she said slowly. "But who would be teaching me?"

"Oh, you know our King," Kaoru assured her. "When he realized you might not know how to dance, he sort of blurted it out in the middle of class. Trust me, you've got _plenty_ of volunteers lining up to teach you now."

Haruhi muttered something low under her breath.

Meanwhile, Takeshi was staring down at the remains of his lunch. "... Where did all of my food go?"

**ooo**

"What are you up to, Takeshi-nii?"

"Hello to you too, Riko," Takeshi said, not looking up from his computer. He continued to ignore his sister as she navigated the furniture carelessly piled to one side of the room. She looked over at him curiously, then at the empty space in the middle of the floor where the couches and tables used to be, then back at him as he stabbed at the keyboard, replaying the video he was currently reviewing.

Riko stopped behind his chair and leaned over his shoulder. "Waltz?" she asked after a few seconds.

Takeshi absently nodded, "The Host Club is apparently putting on a Christmas Ball this weekend."

The skater perked up, "Ooh, a party? That sounds fun."

"It's not for you," Takeshi said. "Formal dancing... fine-dining... " He grimaced, "... tuxedos. I was thinking of asking Uzume-kaasan if she could tailor some formal clothing for me."

Riko shuddered, the motion sending small waves through her hair. "Ah, well, you're right; I prefer a good rave and some faster-paced beats myself." She took a closer look at the screen as Takeshi rewound the video and replayed a specific section. She lifted her head and stared at the open space on the floor. "Are you trying to learn from an online video?" she asked incredulously.

"Unless you have a better idea," Takeshi said. "I don't seem to recall any of us learning ballroom dancing when we were younger."

Riko tapped a finger against her chin, "Hm... true. I know, have you thought about asking Saber-kaasan?"

Takeshi frowned, "I don't really see her as a dancer."

"Ah, but you forget, dear brother. She was a King." Riko leaned against the back of his chair. "More to the point, she was King of the Britons. Didn't England have a huge influence on the modern Waltz?"

"Yes, in the eighteen-hundreds," Takeshi said. "I'm pretty sure Arthurian Legend takes place just a bit further back in the timeline."

Riko took the correction in stride. "Well, if nothing else, I'm sure she has plenty of anecdotes about courtly behavior and experiences of the dances of the time. It's better than nothing."

"I suppose... " Takeshi rose from his chair, stretching out briefly before he made his way for the door. He suddenly paused as he was passing the pile of furniture. "Wait a second, Arturia-kaasan _was_ a King. That means even if she did know how to dance, she only knows the _male_ parts. Which means... "

"You'd be learning the female part from her? Probably." Riko has a wide grin on her face as she shrugged. "You can't win at everything, Takeshi-nii." She chuckled merrily, then she had to duck her head to avoid a thrown seat cushion.

**ooo**

A few days later, Takeshi watched as Haruhi moved across the clubroom's floor with a female second-year student. His Ashikabi had improved greatly in the past week, the first few days she had been tripping over her feet and sending her dance partner and herself tumbling to the floor. Now, though it was not quite graceful, it was more than he thought she would have been able to do.

""So, Emiya-sempai, what do you think?""

And it was more than he was currently able to do, though he would certainly not admit that to the two grinning boys standing behind him. Takeshi reset his glasses over the bridge of his nose. "Haruhi-san is a quick study," he said. "She's improved greatly." He turned towards the Hitachiins but looked past them at the figure sitting by the windowsill. "Is that why Tamaki-kun is looking down? Because she might actually win his bet?"

Hikaru grinned, "I doubt that's even occurred to _Tono_. He's just upset because _he_ wanted to be Haruhi's practice partner."

"Which doesn't really make sense, when you think about it," Kaoru added. "I mean, their height difference is huge. There's no way anybody could dance like that."

All three of them studiously ignored Honey and Reiko Kanazuki spinning around to the side, their pace far too fast for a Slow Waltz. Despite being female and several years younger than her partner, Kanazuki still towered over the blonde, yet it seemed she was nearly being pulled off her feet by their speed. It was more in line with a Viennese Waltz, though Honey seemed to have forgotten there were any other dance motions besides spinning in place.

"So how is your practice going?" Kaoru asked.

Takeshi simply shrugged. "It goes," he said evasively. It just so happened Rin had been in the same room with Arturia when he'd asked for advise. Rin had confessed some basic knowledge of the modern dance forms, the Clock Tower was a very formal society in itself, so Takeshi didn't find it terribly hard to believe. Unfortunately, it seemed Luvia had been passing through the room at that time, and she had claimed her own experiences clearly overshadowed the brunette's. Takeshi and Arturia had watched in horrified fascination as the two women began another series of one-upmanship. The resulting catfight had taken out nearly the entire wing and sent almost one-fifth of the entire Clan into the infirmary.

Needless to say, Takeshi found himself practicing using his video aid, although Riko was willing to help him out a few times. Takeshi shrugged again, returning his focus on the redhead. "I've been able to put my time to good use, never fear."

Very efficient use, in his mind. In between practices, he'd gone to Uzume to have her take his measurements and cut out some formal wear for him to use. The Veiled Sekirei teased him about his dancing almost as much as his sister did, but he endured her good-natured teasing. He did notice Uzume seemed unusually weary, though he put that down to the fact she was making his outfit on relatively short notice.

Mother had been slightly miffed he was reducing his practice sessions with her to allow enough time for this extra practice, but she let it slide for the most part. He did have to put up with her own form of teasing in addition to the bruises he normally received from her, and once again he cursed whatever power or deity it was that caused the women of his family to express their affection in the form of relentless teasing and pranks.

**ooo**

Ouran Academy's Central Salon was the largest single-room building in the campus. To possess the right to use it – even for a single night – suggested a level of power and influence only the best of students could manage. In a school that boasted the attendance of the country's most prestigious families and social elite, it was the most sought after symbol in the academy. Fortunately, most of the battles for the locale took place only twice a year, during the school's spring and fall festivals, so there was not quite the difficulty in gaining the rights to the building that there might have otherwise been.

"Thank you for coming, all of you who have gathered here tonight; it is our great fortune to be able to bear witness to your combined loveliness. " Tamaki, a dashing figure in pure-white suit, stood on the grand staircase's second-story landing as he crossed an arm over his chest and bowed at the waist. "The Ouran Highschool Host Club bids you a warm welcome to our Christmas Party!"

Lining the stairs flanking the raised platform, Takeshi and the other six hosts mirrored Tamaki's pose. _""Irasshaimase~""_

Kyouya straightened to his full height and stretched out his arms to encompass the whole room. "We hope you enjoy yourselves to your heart's content as you dance with our Host Club members. We have various other entertainments available as well, games of chance and risk. Each win will earn you points for tonight, as well as each dance you are able to claim from our members."

Hikaru and Kaoru grinned and held out their arms. One fanned out a deck of cards, while the other juggled several pairs of dice in the air.

Kyouya lifted a finger. "The eight lucky women with the greatest points will have earned the right to have the final dance of the night with a club member. Furthermore," he waved his arm towards Tamaki. "The young lady who earns the highest number of points total, or the one voted as the best dancer will be crowned as tonight's Queen. And her reward... will be to receive an impassioned kiss on the cheek from our very own King!"

Tamaki graced the room with a dazzling smile. "Good luck to all of you, I hope you all do your very best... " He held out his hand and winked to the crowd, "... my lovelies."

The crowd erupted into shrieks and more than a few girls fainted dead on their feet. Hikaru and Kaoru grinned as they descended the stairs and headed for their gaming tables. Hikaru slapped Haruhi across the back as he passed her, "Good luck, Haruhi. Try not to trip over your feet tonight, I hear it's considered bad form."

"I'll try," she grumbled. She schooled her expression back into one of polite interest as Takeshi walked up to her.

"You look tense," he commented. "Not used to things like this?"

Haruhi really did look somewhat queasy. "Not really. Normally my Christmas just involves a small cake my father brings home from work. On the occasions that we did go out, it was mostly to the town festival. Nothing quite like," she waved helplessly at the gathering. "Like this."

"Hm." Takeshi watched Honey being hauled off towards the dance floor by a girl dressed in a modest black dress while Mori followed at a careful distance. "I think I can see why you'd find this unsettling then."

"What were your holidays like?" she asked him.

"Nothing like this either," he admitted. "But I think I'm actually liking it better this way. Back at home it would be... chaotic to say the least."

Haruhi recalled the various colorful personalities his family displayed. "Yeah, I think I see why you'd consider this to be a quiet affair."

"It's wasn't all bad, though," Takeshi mused. "If nothing else, with an excuse to go all out, Father and the others would really put together a feast worthy of kings."

"It may not be fit for a king, but I daresay our buffet selection is not something to scoff at." Kyouya walked up to them, clipboard in hand. "If you'd like to try, Haruhi, we have quite the selection available."

"Hmm, really?" Haruhi tilted her head. "Do you think they have something like—"

"Haruhi!" Tamaki walked up to them at a brisk pace. "Remember your wager, not only did you have to learn to dance but you must also impress our customers! In fact, I have the perfect opportunity for you."

The other three lifted their heads as Tamaki turned back towards the crowd and held his hand out. A young woman dressed in a white dress with silver highlights stepped towards them. She was very slender and petite, roughly the same height as Haruhi herself. Like Tamaki, she had blonde hair, though hers was a shade paler than his, and it was tied back with a silky black ribbon, leaving the rest to fall behind her in a high ponytail.

Tamaki addressed her in impeccable, slightly accented English, and the young woman responded in kind. Tamaki turned back towards Haruhi and bowed slightly. "Haruhi, this is a foreign visitor from Wales who chanced upon this gathering. You apparently caught her eye tonight so she requested to have her first dance with you specifically."

"Oh, um," Haruhi looked back and forth between the visitor and Takeshi, who had suddenly gone rigid. "I guess I should. What did you say her name was?"

Tamaki smiled, "This is Lily Pendragon, she says she's from one of the oldest Houses in the British Isles."

"That sounds correct," Kyouya said. "Although I don't think I've heard the name 'Pendragon' in recent times... "

Takeshi was silent, staring at the young woman who seemed to be avoiding his eyes.

Haruhi schooled her face into a polite expression and bowed. "Well then, ah, Pendragon-san, I would be honored to have this dance with you."

Tamaki translated her message and the girl curtsied gracefully, holding out her arm expectantly. Haruhi held out her elbow and the two disappeared onto the dance floor together.

"Such a lovely lady," Tamaki mused as he turned back towards the other two. "I could definitely see her English ancestry, but some of her features looked somewhat Asian as well."

"It's most likely a pseudonym," Kyouya agreed. "Still, I believe the invitation she presented at the door was in order, so I don't see any harm in letting her enjoy herself. She must have her reasons for hiding her identity."

"Yes, it is Christmas after all!" Tamaki exclaimed. "Don't you think, Emiya-sempai?"

Takeshi struggled to find his voice. "Sure... " He continued staring off in the direction where Haruhi and 'Lily' had disappeared to. "I'm certain she has her reasons... "


	69. EC: Ouran 13

_(a/n) — breaking (but late) news. The Emiya Clan now has a TVTropes page!  
><em>

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><p><strong>Emiya Clan – Ouran 13<strong>

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><p>The dance number ended with a flourish and the orchestra took a short break to retune their instruments. Almost as soon as the last strings vibrated into silence, Tamaki quickly made his way over to his friend. "Kyouya!" he hissed in a stage-whisper.<p>

Kyouya ignored the blonde for a few moments as he bent over the hand of his latest partner. "It has been a pleasure to have this dance with you, Kanada-san. Might I suggest you enjoy some of our alternative entertainment options while there is a lull in the festivities?" He nodded towards the far wall, where Hikaru and Kaoru had set up tables where they played simplified games of chance for the crowd.

"But I'd much rather continue dancing with you, Kyouya-sama!" the girl protested.

"As would I," he shamelessly lied back. "Regrettably, duty unfortunately calls. However I would remind you that if you earn enough points from those games, we may yet be able to spend the rest of the evening together."

That seemed to convince the girl, who immediately giggled and dashed off towards the growing crowd. Kyouya watched her leave, then turned towards the impatient blonde standing beside him. "Yes?"

"Honey-sempai spotted Kasugazaki-san out on the floor," Tamaki reported, referring to the girl who had been teaching Haruhi how to dance the week previous. "Kaoru says he's also spotted Suzushima-kun in the crowd, so we're all set to go. Where's Haruhi?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that." The two hosts looked up as Takeshi made his way over to them. "I haven't seen Haruhi since the opening festivities."

Kyouya and Tamaki traded a glance. "Could she be with our guest, still?" the black-haired host suggested. He searched his memories of the evening. "I don't think I recall seeing her around either."

"Could she have spirited Haruhi away for her own nefarious purposes!" Tamaki gasped. "Haruhi is certainly attractive enough to warrant confusion! I told you we should have let her come as a girl in the first place!"

"Somehow I _don't _think that would be the reason," Takeshi said flatly.

"You disagree she's attractive?" Kyouya asked slyly.

"What if she took a liking to Haruhi and hauled her off?" Tamaki was muttering to himself, clutching at his head. "One never knows what a British woman would consider proper... "

"Of course I think she's—wait, where did you get that sort of idea about British women?" Takeshi said, suddenly turning towards the blonde.

"He must be channeling his inner Frenchman," Kyouya shrugged. "Still, he is correct that this may delay our plans somewhat."

"What plans?" Takeshi said. He noticed Honey and Mori wandering through the crowd, looking as if they were searching for something and trying not to be obvious about it. Glancing in the other direction he saw Hikaru and Kaoru successfully keeping a large group of women distracted with their games, though Kaoru threw a brief, questioning glance in their direction. He blinked as he sifted through the various behaviors and turned back towards the others. "What did you need Haruhi to do?" he said in a low tone.

"It's nothing harmful," Kyouya assured him. "Do you recall Kanako Kasugazaki-san?"

"She's that one client who's been jumping back and forth between the various hosts these past few months, isn't she?" Takeshi said after thinking for a few moments.

"Haruhi! Otou-san is coming to save you!" Tamaki suddenly shouted. Takeshi was very glad he was unable to follow the train of thought which had led the blonde to say that. Without looking, Kyouya reached out and gently pushed Tamaki in Honey's direction.

"Correct," he said to Takeshi. "Although she wont admit it to herself, it seems she was attempting to incite a jealous reaction from her arranged-fiancé. He's transferring to a school out of the country next semester and Tamaki is under the impression that she requires some sort of closure before they separate."

"Tohru Suzushima," Takeshi said, rubbing his chin. "I was wondering why you were asking Matsu-kaasan for that information. Is the reason why you extended the invitations for this party to the rest of the school as well?"

"Partially," Kyouya admitted. "But it also serves as an opportunity to demonstrate the club's power and resources to the widest range of people available."

"Right... " Takeshi sighed and crossed his arms as he threw another glance around the room. Leave it to Kyouya to come up with an action that would do the double duty of helping his friend while still improving the Host Club's reputation. "So why do you need Haruhi-san?" He frowned as found himself still unable to locate his Ashikabi.

Kyouya adjusted his glasses and flicked his eyes over to where Tamaki was making animated hand gestures at Honey and Mori. "It was decided that Kasugazaki-san's plan had merit but it was simply too subtle to guarantee success. The twins laid out a plan to force the two into a confrontation so they could clear the air with each other, but it requires Haruhi's participation in order for it to even begin. Speaking of which... "

"Kyouya-sempai." Hikaru shouldered his way through the crowd, Kaoru following closely behind him. "Are we ready to start yet?"

"We need to get this letter over to Suzushima-sempai pretty soon if the timing is going to work out right," Kaoru said, holding up a small, unsealed envelope. "Where's Haruhi?"

"That's what we're trying to find out," Takeshi bit out, trying not to grind his teeth in frustration. "Hikaru, Kaoru, while you're here I really need to ask you. Did you ask any of my sisters for favors when coming up with your little plan?"

The two redheads glanced at each other, then slowly looked back at him, casually adjusting their posture so they could dive to the side at a moment's notice. ""Maybe?""

Takeshi narrowed his eyes at them.

"Okay, it wasn't much, we just asked for their input with writing a love letter," Hikaru said quickly. "We just wanted to get a woman's touch; you know, give it a little bit of authenticity."

"It had nothing to do with Haruhi," Kaoru assured him. "Aside from the fact that we were planning on using it to lure Suzushima-sempai to a disused classroom so Haruhi could meet up with him. After that we just point Kasugazaki-san their way... "

"...and bam!" Hikaru snapped his fingers. "Instant misunderstanding that—assuming Suzushima-sempai is the type of person we think he is—will be quickly correctly and resolve both of their unresolved issues!"

The two of them straightened up with pride at their interpersonal problem-solving skills, as Takeshi simply stared at them in disbelief. "...That's it?" he finally said. He turned towards Kyouya, "_That's _their plan to 'force a confrontation and clear the air' between those two?"

"It does sound rather simple on the surface," Kyouya agreed. "But keep in mind that simple plans often have the best chance of success, as opposed to ones so complicated that even the slightest change in a variable could upset the whole thing."

""How did you know we asked your sisters for help?"" the twins asked suspiciously.

"Because they're here," Takeshi said. "In fact, I'm absolutely certain that Tamaki's 'special' guest, the one who he asked Haruhi to escort, is my eldest sister."

"Truly?" Tamaki suddenly walked up with the remaining Hosts trailing him. "You can't imagine the relief it brings me to hear that. I was afraid Haruhi had been stolen away and forced to—"

"My sisters aren't like that," Takeshi growled. He suddenly took on a pensive look. "Well, _most_ of them aren't like that... maybe some of them... "

Honey perked up from his perch on Mori's shoulders. "Ah!" he exclaimed, pointing behind the group. "Haru-chan!"

...

* * *

><p><em>An hour earlier. . .<em>

Haruhi wasn't quite sure what to make of this situation. Although Tamaki-sempai had asked her to escort the foreign girl for the time being, she was certain that didn't mean letting the girl drag her from the main hall and down the dimly light, disused corridors. She might have found it awkward—another person might have felt the need to carefully explain at some point that she was not exactly the best canidate to have a clandestine rendezvous with—but then again...

"You're one of Takeshi-sempai's sisters, aren't you?"

The blonde broke step slightly, then turned her head towards the host, giving Haruhi an uncertain-looking smile. [What?]

Haruhi frowned. [You are senior Takeshi sister?] she repeated in her own halting English.. She shook her head, "Sorry, my English is still not that great, though I am practicing."

'Lily' slumped and stopped in the hallway. "It's more than I would have expected, actually," she said, switching to completely unaccented Japanese. "Was I that obvious?" she complained.

Haruhi smiled, "Probably not to everyone, though I think Kyouya-sempai might have been a little suspicious." She placed a finger against her mouth briefly, then pointed. "Aika, right?"

"A-ri-ka," the blonde said. She resumed walking down the hallway with a slight huff and Haruhi automatically fell into step with her.

"Sorry, Arika-san," Haruhi corrected herself. "The accent was a nice touch, by the way. It actually sounded authentic."

"Oh it is." Takeshi's oldest sister turned towards one of the doors and rapped against the door jamb. "Kaa-san insisted my brother and I learn it and forced us into lessons when we were younger. A few of the others joined in as well." After a few moments the door opened and Arika waved the host forward. "After you."

"What's this about?" Haruhi asked. She stepped into the room and immediately noticed the rack of clothing on the far end. A portable vanity had been set up against the wall, with a cart full of various make up supplies and dyes. Finally she turned towards the two women sitting in the comfortable-looking chairs in the middle of the room.

"_This_ is a little gift for our dearest older brother," Riko said as she waved them into the room. "It's a shame to have such a grand party and not be able to spend the time with his Ashikabi the way he wants to." She gestured towards the woman sitting opposite her, "You remember Uzume-kaasan, yeah?"

The Veiled Sekirei lifted her teacup in greeting. "Evening."

"Hello." Haruhi tilted her head. "Back up a bit, you've lost me."

Arika left her side to join her sister on one of the couches, helping herself to the tea set that had been placed there. Riko shifted a bit to make room, but kept her eyes on the host. "I'll explain it clearly because you seem like the type who doesn't get subtle," the middle-schooler said, "We're playing matchmaker."

"Oh?" Haruhi took a seat next to Uzume and nodded gratefully as Arika poured her a second cup. She inhaled the aroma of the tea with a pleased expression, then focused on Riko again. "Who are we playing matchmaker for?"

Riko's expression froze and Haruhi could have sworn she almost heard something cracking. She quickly checked her teacup and the rest of the tableware to make sure none of it was damaged. She glanced towards the younger girl and thought she saw a slight chip in her glasses, but then Riko shook her head and they appeared completely whole. "This girl... " the lavender-haired girl growled.

Haruhi looked around to see who Riko was addressing and was slightly put out to find Uzume biting on a finger to keep herself from laughing. She looked the other way and saw Arika slowly stirring her tea with her head lowered, though her shoulders were shaking slightly. She blinked and widened her eyes as the process of elimination reached its inevitable conclusion. "Wait, _me?"_

"Yes. You." Riko rubbed at her forehead. "Your relationship isn't where we'd like it to be so we're giving you a hand." She leaned forward to help herself to the teapot.

"Ah," Haruhi said. She was quiet for a few moments, then looked up. "With who?"

***CRUNCH***

This time the cup Riko was holding _did _shatter, fortunately before she had begun pouring. She gave her hand a betrayed glare before she looked at Haruhi in disbelief. "Are you _serious?"_

Haruhi smiled, "Actually, no. Even if I wasn't sure, there's really only one person we both know that you'd be doing this for."

Riko glared at her. "Just for my sanity's sake, please tell me who you think I'm talking about."

Haruhi nodded agreeably, "You're trying to hook me up with Tamaki-sempai, aren't you?"

The table rattled as Riko's head found the surface while Uzume finally gave in and tipped over laughing, holding on to her sides as she rolled along the couch cushions. The girl lifted her head and brushed her dark hair away from her face, drawing Haruhi's attention to it briefly before she settled back into her seat. "Why don't you go start picking something out, Kaa-san," she grumbled.

The brunette managed to pick herself up, mumbling something about 'Shirou back in the day' as she made her way to the clothes rack in the back of the room.

Haruhi finished her tea and carefully placed it back on the table, looking up at the younger girl. "So, why does my relationship with your brother require that you bring me this far away from the party?"

Riko held up a finger, "First, try to think back to when you first met Takeshi-nii. How did he act then?"

"Hm," Haruhi leaned back into the cushions as she thought. "He seemed to get along well with Honey-sempai, but that's sort of a given considering it's... well, Honey-sempai. Other than that he seemed very polite, almost _too_ polite. I guess I'd have to say he was somewhat... distant. But he was also sick the first day I met him, so that might have affected his behavior back then."

Riko nodded, then spread her hands open, "And what about now?"

"Well on the surface it seems like he's a lot worse," Haruhi said bluntly. "He's a lot more snippy and seems to be annoyed at every one else, especially towards the twins."

Arika lifted an eyebrow. "_That_ sounds a little more like the Takeshi we know... "

Haruhi nodded. "I didn't realize it until we visited your family. But if I had to guess, I'd say he's always felt that way, only now he feels comfortable enough to express it." She shrugged. "I don't think anybody minds, really. Kyouya-sempai seems kind of the same except his berserk button seems to be more along the lines of financial transgressions, while Takeshi-sempai is set off more by acts of impropriety."

Riko grinned, "I suppose Hika-chan and Kao-chan are giving him quite the workout."

"Definitely... " Haruhi sighed. "To me though, he still seems the same: still polite and somewhat distant, though he comes to talk to me sometimes when it seems like he's getting overstressed by the club." She looked up. "I suppose you must hear a lot from him as well, considering he's not talking to the rest of us much."

Arika and Riko traded a glance. "Not really," Arika said. "If he does talk to somebody, it's not us. Kaa-san?"

"He hasn't spoken with Miya about school in quite some time," Uzume said. She was still making trips back and forth between the clothing rack and the couch. "I even asked Matsu about it, she hasn't seen him sit down to talk with anybody in a while."

Riko turned to give Haruhi a smile full of teeth. "Is that so~?"

The host gave the other girl a suspicious look, "What?"

"Oh. It's nothing. Just the idea that my brother seems to be more comfortable around the club as a whole but still seems to act cautiously around you, while still looking to you to set his mind on ease."

"I guess," Haruhi glanced down. "He must be feeling ashamed that he had to React to me."

"Oh my god, this girl is so dense!" Riko slammed the heel of her hand across her forehead.

Arika gave her sister an amused glance, "Well, you were the one that said she didn't get subtle. Yet, here you are trying to be all circular with your teasing."

"Oh, hush, Nee-chan." Riko rubbed her face a bit more then looked up with an aggrieved expression. "Kaa-chan! Have you picked out a dress _yet?"_

"Almost," Uzume said. She was behind Haruhi once more, holding up two more dresses. "She's too slim for a proper evening gown, I think. I'm trying to decide between these two cocktail dresses." She peered over the back of the couch. "I'm thinking knee length, to show off her legs a bit more."

"Wait," Haruhi stammered. "What's going on? Who are those for?"

"This is our Grand Plan to improve your relationship with Takeshi-nii, of course," Riko said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Well, Plan B anyhow. Plan A was to have Arika dress up in a nice formal suit and have her pretend to hit on you to make him jealous."

"I'd much rather not, thank you very much," the blonde narrowed her eyes at her sister.

"Ah, but you have the perfect chest to pull it off! Look at Haruhi-chan, if she could pull it off I'm sure you could just as easily!"

"Ah, I had the perfect suit picked out for the occasion too," Uzume cried dramatically.

Arika held up a hand and squeezed it into a fist, audibly cracking her knuckles.

For some reason Haruhi felt like crossing her arms over her chest defensively, but fought against the reaction. "Um, but how would having his sister flirting with me make Takeshi-sempai jealous?"

"It wouldn't, because she thinks she got caught." Riko nodded as if everything had become clear with that statement. "That's why we're just going to throw you at him. Subtlety doesn't seem to work on my dear brother either."

"Wait, but, wha—?" Haruhi sputtered as a pastel-pink dress was pressed into her and she looked up to see Uzume with a glint in her eye.

"Get dressed," the brunette ordered. "By the time we get you ready half the night will have already passed. We have no time to waste!"

**ooo**

At Honey's exclamation, Takeshi was already spinning around, looking for where his Ashikabi had gone. He didn't spot her, but he did spot 'Lily Pendragon' in conversation with a long-haired brunette and black-haired girl with glasses as the trio casually moved through the crowd. He suddenly did a double-take and looked at the dark-haired girls again.

[Ah! Madam Pendragon, it is a pleasure to see you again!] Tamaki moved past them to grasp the girl's hand gently, even as he gave her a dashing smile. [Have you been treated well by Mr. Fujioka? I don't see he—him around here. I hope you two did not misplace each other!]

Takeshi fumed silently as Arika turned amused eyes on him before she looked back at the host with a coy smile. [Oh, your host was a perfect gentlemen,] she replied. [I had her help me with a small favor.]

The other hosts all had their own grasp on English, so they all froze at the same time as Arika's words hit them. Tamaki visibly lost his composure, but seemed to recover almost as quickly. Still, the look on his face set the dark-haired girl tittering and Takeshi had finally had enough.

"Arika, Riko," he growled. The two taller girls turned towards him, both of their eyes still dancing with mischief. "What are you two doing? And why is your hair like that, Riko?"

The attractive-looking brunette sandwiched between the two looked up in surprise. "Ah," she said. "I was wondering about that; I could have sworn your hair was purple the last time I saw it. You dyed it?"

Riko fingered her long locks distastefully, "Purple's an unusual color, people tend to notice it. Black, brown, or blonde seems to be most common here, but I personally dislike how I look with the other two."

The voice, so familiar, caused all of the hosts' heads to snap back to the shortest girl. "H-Haruhi?" Takeshi stammered. He didn't miss the way Riko grinned triumphantly at the lack of an honorific.

The brunette looked down and smoothed the fabric over her legs, then clasped her hands together timidly. Her hair, now nearly twice its usual length, had part of it pulled into a braid in the back of her head, while the remainder was left to hang down to her shoulders. She wore a sleeveless dress with a single strap running over one shoulder. The material hugged the her body tightly before it flared out into a wide skirt, emphasizing and enhancing the slight curves of her body. The skirt was longer in the back than the front, which framed her slender legs. The new appearance, combined with the new posture forced on her by the high-heeled sandals she wore, gave her an appearance that no person could possibly mistake for a boy. Even had she not been wearing her hair long, which Takeshi understood to be a very finely crafted wig, he might not have recognized her with the new look.

He was not alone in that assessment; the twins and Tamaki were completely speechless, the two redheads pointing at the girl in unison, their mouths wide open but no sound coming forth; Kyouya's pen had frozen in the act of writing on his clipboard; Honey appeared even more giddy than usual; and though Mori looked as stoic as ever, Takeshi could tell he wasn't completely unmoved.

Tamaki was the first to recover, "Haruhi, you look absolutely lovely."

Haruhi blushed slightly, while Riko sent a glare at Takeshi from over her shoulder. "Thank you, Tamaki-sempai."

"Otou-san is very pleased!" Tamaki continued, diving forward to ensare his 'daughter' in a fatherly glomp. His forward moment was suddenly checked, though whether it was from Hikaru suddenly latching on to the back of his coat, or the fist hovering just in front of his face was anybody's guess.

Arika retracted her hand as Kaoru added his own arm to his brother's and yank the King back towards the group.

Kaoru was eyeing Haruhi's dress with a professional eye. "That's actually not bad," he concluded. "We were thinking about doing something like that, but maybe a little bit more plain since we weren't sure if we'd have time to adjust everything properly." He reached under his coat, pulling out a medium-sized bag from somewhere. "In fact, I think I have a shoulder-sculp that would look perfect for that."

Hikaru caught a questioning glance from Arika. "Our mom's a designer and our grandma specializes in flower arrangements," he explained as Kaoru pulled out a large, white flower set against a pink ribbon that was matched Haruhi's dress almost perfectly. "We were going to dress up Haruhi too, then have her keep Suzushima-sempai in place long enough for Kasugazaki-hime to come to a mistaken conclusion. This saves us a lot of time now, _Tono,"_ Hikaru turned to the other blonde. "We still have to set up for Kasugazaki-hime. You want me to go deliver the letter now?"

"Actually," Arika interrupted him. "We had plans for this girl... and they don't involve any of you."

Tamaki sputtered, "What? But what about reconciling Tohru-kun and Kanako-hime? The Ouran Host Club exists to bring happiness to all of our customers, be they male or female."

"Tamaki-sempai is right, Arika-san," Haruhi said. "I'm glad you felt like helping out your family, but it's true that Kasugazaki-sempai doesn't have much time left with her fiancé." She turned back towards the rest of the club, seeing the relieved smile on Tamaki's face. She noticed Takeshi's eyes completely focused on her, but the other host remained almost as silent as Mori, not betraying his feelings. She gave him an apologetic smile and watched his eyes flash with... something.

Riko broke the mood with a snap of her fingers. "Let me see that letter," she ordered imperiously. Kaoru pulled the small envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Hikaru, who passed it along to her. She slipped it open and read the contents. After a few moments, she smiled happily. "This letter," she declared, "is made of such win."

""Don't you think?"" the twins gushed. ""Kyouya-sempai said it might have been a little too mushy, but he agreed in the end that it would work.""

"Still," Riko said, refolding it carefully and replacing it in its envelope, "it seems a bit out of character for Haruhi-san. You just need somebody to meet with this guy and keep him in place long enough for his girlfriend to show up and think he's about to cheat on her?"

"That's a rather crude way of putting it, but that does sum up Haruhi's role nicely," Kyouya said as he adjusted his glasses.

"I'll do it!" Riko grinned as the others turned to stare at her. "What? I might not be Fuuko-nee, but I'm sure I can create an awkward scene just as well as she can." She handed the letter back to Hikaru, "I think I'll go on ahead and um... _prepare_ the room. Give me about ten minutes and then go ahead and give this Suzushima-san the letter."

"Oh...kay?" the redhead responded automatically.

"Well then," Tamaki clapped his hands together. "Now that this is taken care of, why are we all still standing around here? We still have guests to entertain!" Almost as if on cue, the orchestra had finished their tuning and started to play chords, signaling their readiness for the next dance numbers. As the hosts split up, Tamaki turned back towards Haruhi and bowed. "Does the young lady need an escort?" he asked.

"Um, actually," the brunette glanced towards Takeshi, but he remained silent. At least until Arika gracefully walked up to him and kicked him in the shin.

The purple-haired host jumped, then glared at his sister briefly. "If you don't mind, Suoh-kun," he said quietly, but forcefully. "I... would like to escort Fujioka-san this evening." He held out his hand in invitation and bowed slightly.

" 'Haruhi-san'," his Ashikabi corrected him, taking his hand with a smile.

"Actually you might want to think of a different name for tonight," Arika pointed out. "Say you're your own cousin or something." She grinned as she stepped away slightly. "You two enjoy yourselves now~" She looked at Takeshi and pointed two fingers at her eyes, reversing the motion and jabbing her hand towards him. Then with a wave, she turned and disappeared into the crowd.

Tamaki had his hand over his chin as he stared at the two. "Very well," he finally said. "Father will approve of this... for now. Take good care of my daughter...'s cousin, Emiya-sempai!"

Takeshi eyed the blonde as he stepped away and was immediately surrounded by giggling schoolgirls. "He's really hung up on this whole 'family' idea, isn't he?" he commented.

Haruhi stepped in and wrapped an elbow around his arm. "It's not a bad idea," she said. "Family tends to look after each other."

"Yes." Takeshi seemed to stare in the direction where his two sisters had disappeared to. "I suppose they do." He looked down at his Ashikabi, looking up at him in innocent curiosity. He tore his head away and glanced towards the musicians' pit, fighting the blush that threatened to appear on his face. "Well, um, would you like to dance?"

With his head turned away, he didn't see the slowly growing smile that appeared on Haruhi's face. "Sure, I'd love to."

**ooo**

"Kanako!" Tohru Suzushima shouted as he ran after his sobbing fiancée. They had long since abandoned the warmth of the school's corridors and were now racing across the snow-covered courtyard.

With her high-heeled shoes, Kanako Kasugazaki was unable to maintain her pace, so Tohru was able to catch up shortly and grab her hand with his own. "Kanako!" he repeated, pulling her back towards him in an embrace. Her eyes were vibrating with emotion, tears still pouring over her face as he pressed her into his shoulder.

She reared back and slapped him. "You pervert!" she shrieked.

From a balcony overlooking the scene, Tamaki gulped. "Well, I somehow imagined this going a little bit better," he said.

""Ah, _Tono,"_ the twins peered over the edge. ""Do you still want us to hit the spotlights?""

Tamaki looked down in concern as Kasugazaki straddled her downed fiancé and beat him over the head with her scarf. "... Let's just give them a bit of time to work things out, before we call attention to them."

Behind the three concerned hosts, Arika glared at her sister. "What did you _do?"_

"I invoke Article 38," Riko said evasively.

**ooo**

Much later that night, Haruhi found herself wandering around the floor, finding herself appreciating the chance to simply wander around the party without having any roles or duties to perform. After the she and Takeshi had monopolized each other's time for a few short dances, he had returned to his duties as a host while she had wandered around to talk or dance with the rest of the hosts. And the buffet. Kyouya had been right about there being some very delicious entrees along the table.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Hikaru drew everyone's attention from atop the same staircase Tamaki had been standing at the start of the party. "The Ouran Host Club hopes you have all enjoyed your evening so... far..." He looked over nervously at Suzushima and Kasugazaki to one corner of the room, both of them bundled heavily in blankets after their long exposure to the snow. Suzushima appeared to have some light bruising over his cheeks and Kasugazaki was dabbing a wet handkerchief against them as she whispered apologies to him.

Still, both of them appeared happier than they had in weeks, so it seemed Tamaki's plan had worked out, eventually. The leader of the Host Club was apologizing profusely and doing everything he could to ensure they suffered no long-term effects from their little tussle.

"Before we begin the last dance of the evening, it is time to announce the winners of tonight's ongoing contest. We'd like to remind everyone that these eight winners get the chance to have the final dance with our Host Club's members, and the top scorer gets a special prize!" Kaoru joined him at the balcony and the two read off a short list of names, the top point-getters in their side games of chance. They'd had some doubts at first about the fairness of the prizes, especially as large portion of the crowd gasped in dismay. But then they realized that for most of the girls to have won as many points as they did, in doing so they had stayed out of almost every dance that night.

""And our number one scorer, the Grand Prize goes to... "" Kaoru unsealed the envelope and pulled out the winning scorecard. He suddenly frowned and showed the card to his brother as both flipped it this way and that to read the name. ""Ah, it just says 'Karin' on it... no family name."

_"What?"_ a familiar voice shouted from the crowd.

Arika glanced over at Riko. "You brought _Karin _along with you? How come I never saw her?"

Riko fingered her hair. "She borrowed the last of my hair dye and put on some contacts. I think she wanted to bring Keiko too, but since that would have involved getting her a suit, she backed out at the last minute. Literally." The two looked over to where a spotlight was now shining on a beaming girl with her long black hair pulled up into a french twist. "Instead of heading back home, I guess she decided to stay for the games and the chance to spy on her brother."

Hikaru and Kaoru were also eyeing the redhead turned-blackette suspiciously as she made her way up the stairs. "Aren't you a little _young_ for this?" Kaoru asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Im almost thirteen," Karin replied, sounding offended. "Some countries consider that old enough for adulthood."

"Yeah... no." Hikaru said flatly. "I wouldn't feel right letting you near _Tono_."

"Well, it seems to me Tama-chan is a bit busy," Karin said, pointing to where the blonde was still hovering over the two second-year students in the corner. She smiled cheerfully at the two, "Trust me and follow my lead."

They looked at her dubiously, but Hikaru flicked his microphone back on. "So, Karin has earned the right for a kiss from the Host Club's very own 'King'!" he announced. "However, it appears that Tamaki is somewhat occupied, so we're switching that over to... " he glanced over to where Karin had her computer out and had quickly typed a short note on the screen, "... Takeshi-sempai." He blinked and looked at her in horror and covered his microphone. _"Takeshi-sempai?"_

"Relax~" she said, tapping at the screen again.

Kaoru recovered first and grabbed the microphone. "But, ah, it seems that the young miss has just informed us that she is actually a relative of Takeshi-sempai, so she has offered to waive her prize and give it to another person."

The crowd erupted into screams and shouts as various girls appealed to the girl to let them in on her prize.

"But we're going to do this impartially," Kaoru said, holding up a narrow-beam flashlight Karin had produced from somewhere. He glanced her in confusion. Just where was she hiding all these things on that dress of hers? She didn't appear to be carrying any bags. "Karin-chan here will be facing away from the crowd and will shine this light over her shoulder. Whoever it falls on will be the new winner of her prize!"

The crowd seemed to accept this, but there was nearly another outbreak of hysteria as they all tried to focus themselves on where they thought she'd be aiming her flashlight. The Hitachiins watched as the girl closed her eyes—she was already facing away from the crowd so why..?—and waved the flashlight around over her head before she steadied it on a particular individual.

"Go figure," Haruhi muttered, closing her eyes against the bright light.

**ooo**

Hikaru hid behind his brother as he face-palmed. "Okay, what the heck?" he complained. "I know you told me you had a photographic memory but how do you still pick her out of a crowd of nearly a hundred other students?"

"Family secret," Karin grinned.

"And our alternate prize winner is the lovely... " Kaoru hesitated, unsure on how to address the girl-disguised-as-a-boy-dressed-as-a-girl.

"Ah... Natsumi Fujioka!" Haruhi said quickly. "I'm, um, Haruhi's cousin," she said with a wince.

Suprisingly, the crowd accepted the false name quite easily, although a few nearby girls quickly asked her if she had any inside information on 'Haruhi-kun'. She watched the crowd part as Takeshi made his way over to her side. People backed away to give them space and a spotlight shined down on them from overhead.

"Takeshi-sempai," she greeted him nervously. She glanced to the side and found Riko smirking at her.

"Natsumi-san," he returned without even a hint of irony. His expression was as controlled as ever, but now Haruhi could put a label to it. This was the face he used when he desperately did not want to let any of his feelings leak out. Most people had their own versions of a 'game face', but they usually let slip whatever emotions or thoughts they were holding behind it. Takeshi's was notable for being almost completely impenetrable, though that in itself let her know what he was thinking, because she rarely saw him bring it up except when he was around her.

Tamaki was shoving his way through the crowd, evidently having just realized he'd been replaced as the night's 'prize', when Honey sidled up to him.

"Ne," the tiny blonde mused. "Could this be Haru-chan's first kiss?"

"What?" Tamaki exclaimed. He turned towards the girl hovering at the edge of the crowd. "Is this true?"

Arika shrugged. "It's not like I've been following them all night, but I can guarantee they haven't done anything this evening."

"It's just the cheek, right?" she smiled to take the sting out of her words. She was relieved to to see his face light up slightly at the idea there would be a course of action where they both could save face with the minimum amount of exposure.

"If that is what Natsumi-san wishes," he said as if he were the one assuring her. He straightened up slightly, then bowed at the waist as he took her chin gently and turned it away from him. As he leaned in towards her, they both slowly closed their eyes.

Tamaki suddenly charged forward, "Wait! Hold that kiss!" He shoved his way past the last person standing between him and the two hosts...

...then his vision suddenly blacked out and he stumbled, tumbling forward and knocking Takeshi off balance. The resulting outcry caused Haruhi to blink her eyes open and reflexively turn towards the disturbance, just as Takeshi brought his mouth down on her own.

Brilliant white light flared in the middle of the room—overpowering even the spotlights shining over the two—as Takeshi's wings manifested themselves. His eyes had shot open to stare into Haruhi's as soon as their lips had touched and he slowly raised a hand to cup her cheek. His Ashikabi smiled at the gesture and brought up her own hand to rest against his shoulder.

As the light faded and everybody's eyes had readjusted, they pulled away from each other and simultaneously moved their hands to their own mouths, each trying and failing to hide the blush that had bloomed on their face. Takeshi spun around to find Tamaki untangling himself from Riko's hair, where it had flown up to blind him when he'd tried to shove her out of his way. His sister had an extremely annoyed look on her face as she pulled herself free.

"Mou," she complained. "I nearly missed the show!"

Around the two hosts, the crowd was murmuring in surprise.

"What was that?"

"Was that CGI?"

"Man, the things they're doing with glass screens and hologram projections nowadays... "

"Where's the glass though?"

There was a section of girls keening in dismay at the thought of a random girl stealing their beloved Host's lips before they could, although a few were consoled by the fact that it hadn't been Tamaki-sama who'd suffered that indignity.

The remainder of the hosts were now staring at Takeshi with odd expressions. They'd always known he was somewhat unusual, with very odd family, but... wings? Takeshi noticed their stares, especially the piercing glare from Kyouya that let him know the Shadow King was not going to let him get away without some pointed questioning. He sighed in resignation as Haruhi moved back towards him to grasp at his hand.

"Well," she said. "You can relax now. I think there's no point in hiding your secret amongst your friends anymore."

"Who says I'm not relaxed?" He stared down at his Ashikabi, finding her looking up at him with a warm smile. His own mouth twitched, but he was unable to give her one of his own. She didn't seem put out, instead her smile grew even wider and she patted his arm before pulling it around her.

"Nice try, but you can't fool me," she said.

**— Ending 1** —

* * *

><p><strong>ooo<strong>

_(a/n) – this was the original ending i had written, but it was deemed somewhat silly. still, the forum seemed to like both equally, so here they both are..._

**— Alternate Ending —**

"It's just the cheek, right?" she smiled to take the sting out of her words. She was relieved to to see his face light up slightly at the idea there would be a course of action where they both could save face with the minimum amount of exposure.

"If that is what Natsumi-san wishes," he said as if he were the one assuring her. He straightened up slightly, then bowed at the waist as he took her chin gently and turned it away from him. As he leaned in towards her, they both slowly closed their eyes.

In another universe, this would have been the part where somebody tripped, or made a loud noise. Something which would have resulted in the two of them looking up in surprise, only to fall on each other as chaos erupted around them. Indeed, Tamaki had been running towards them at that point, attempting to shout something along the effects of 'Father cannot approve of this!' or something like that. He might done so and probably tripped over his feet, had Arika not stepped out from the crowd and into his path to put him in a headlock. No, the kiss on the cheek ended as nothing more than a kiss on the cheek.

However the great Demi-God Murphy—whom many have theorized as the true power source behind the Second Magic—does not like to be denied. And Murphy strikes back hard when he is denied. In some cases there might be a fantastic series of coincidental events which would produce the desired end result. But sometimes Murphy simply does not feel like being subtle.

"That's it?" Riko said in disgust as the two pulled away from each other. "All that planning and work and all we get is _this?_"

Takeshi frowned as he stared at his sister over Haruhi's shoulder. "What's wrong with 'this'?" he asked. "I'm fine with how this ended up. In fact, given the fact that you _and_ Karin were involved, I'm surprised nothing ridiculous happened."

And with that, Takeshi's fate was sealed. Reality shifted and everyone had the oddest impression of deep, booming laughter in the core of their being.

Riko slapped the heel of her hand over her face, then drew it down slowly. "Takeshi-nii," she grumbled.

"Yes?" he asked, idly patting Haruhi's hand as he made to step away from her, as was proper. He looked up just in time to see Riko lower her hand further... and pull her glasses down with them.

The Daughter of Medusa channeled her magic through her eyes and leveled a piercing stare at her brother. She had no hope of actually transmutating him since her Mystic Eyes had never worked particularly well against living objects, and as a person raised in a magus family Takeshi had fairly high natural resistance to magic. It was still enough to slow him down and force him to focus on running his own prana through his circuits to shake off the effects of petrification, plenty of time for her to simply step forward and give her brother's Ashikabi a quick shove against her back.

Haruhi's eyes blinked open in surprise as she stumbled forward. Takeshi, having instinctually dropped into a combat crouch after the unexpected attack, regained control of his body just in time to catch her face to face.

Literally.

The crowd erupted with gasps and cries. Many from the various females who suffered schoolgirl crushes on the members of the Host Club and were dismayed to see some unknown girl brazenly jumping one of their members. Many other students, high members of society, were in shock at the blatant lack of decorum on display before them. They all were startled by the appearance of glowing white wings that erupted in the air, but oddly enough that mattered less to them than this breach of protocol.

The only people who paid serious attention to the sight of a Winged Sekirei with his Ashikabi were the other members of the Host Club and the other members of the Emiya Clan present. Where the former were in shock at the sudden display, the latter were diving for cover for what they _knew_ what would happen.

_**"Ri-ko-o"**_ Takeshi growled. Haruhi took one look at his face then quickly moved to put the the boy between herself and his target.

Riko replaced her glasses nervously as several unfortunate students behind her fainted outright. "Eheh... Totally worth it."

**ooo**

* * *

><p><em>(an) — mm this will probably be the last major ouran for a while. unfortunately my muse has been dying a slow death. i blame school._

_i'll prolly post a (hopefully) short epilogue next chapter where it jumps to the end of the manga. assume alot of the other stuff in between has been happening here and there, but recall the manga follows ComicBookTime and this... doesn't. only one year at most will have passed, so there wouldn't be a lot of repeated spring/summer arcs._

_i may go back to fill in that gap, probably as likely as i might do any post nerima stuffs. for now, some people on the forums seem to have complained about gekkou and kumako disappearing off the face of the earth, and with usagi drop having recently been animated there seems to be some requests to head back to the grade-schoolers. keiko and karin seem to have been fleshed out pretty well by now, and anything with koyuki would prolly be more fun to do in a post-nerima timeline. that just leaves sakuya... hmm..._

_isn't it sad sakuya? (doesn't quite have the same ring..)_


	70. F:SD 17

_a/n—i found this handy dandy plot generator thing: www dot- jesterball dot-com slash-Animations slash-animeplotgenerator dot-html (or just google 'animeplotgenerator'...stupid ffnet links)  
><em>

_and got:_

**sinister**

**naval commanders**

**run a syndicate of**

**radical**

**highschool teachers**

**because the animators were bored.**

_um... enjoy?_

* * *

><p><strong>FateSchool Days — 17**_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Dark General Hayt! Your evil reign comes to an end here!" the masked figure announced triumphantly. Arms clad in flexible red armor swung through the air in complicated motions and the Red Knight of Justice struck an inspiring pose. The other four equally colorful soldiers behind him mirrored his pose, raising their arms high into the air and each kicking out a leg to the side.<p>

""Justice! Will! Prevail!"" they all shouted.

"Justice will prevail!" Kumako shouted at the television.

"What are you watching?" Gekkou blinked as he walked into the room. He looked down at his glass of milk as if checking to make sure it wasn't one of the _odd_ drinks Mother had always told him never to touch.

"You fools!" Dark General Hayt roared. "I am a naval commander! We don't have generals, I am an _Admiral!_"

"We refuse to listen to more of your evil, twisted lies, evil doer!" Yellow Knight of Justice shouted. "Take this, Yellow Knight of Justice, _**KIIIIIIICK!**_"

Kumako slumped back into her seat. "Yellow Knight of Justice Kick is weaaak," she complained. "C'mon, Green Knight of Justice! Use your—"

"It's not strong enough!" the green-armored soldier gasped as Yellow rebounded off the General... Admiral... whatever. "Curse you! Eat my Green Knight of Justice, _**PAWWWWWNCH!**_"

"Whoo!" Kumako threw her arms up in victory.

"You know what, never mind," Gekkou said, continuing on down the hallway. "I don't want to know."

"Gah!" Dark Admiral Hayt reeled backwards as sparks exploded from his chest. "You think you may have won this round, Knights of Justice, but I know your secret!"

"Oh no!" Kumako gasped.

"...in truth, you are _Ordinary High Schoolers!_" the Dark Gene—er, Admiral—announced triumphantly. "And so, I have taken over your school, and brainwashed your teachers!"

"No!" the five Knights gasped in unison. They swung their arms through another series of complicated loops, ending with Red Knight clenching his fist at the screen. "If you harm those innocent people, we will have to punish you!" He shook his fist for extra emphasis.

"I won't be doing anything of the sort," Dark Admiral Hayt corrected. "But can you survive without hurting them yourselves?" He swung his arms through his own wild gestures, then dropped to punch the ground at his feet. There was a sudden explosion of white smoke that hid him from view, when it cleared the Dark Admiral was joined by five adults in dark colored, evil-looking armor.

"My students!" the center teacher said with a threatening pose. "You are to be punished! We are no longer the kind, thoughtful teachers you know and love, we are _radical_ teachers!"

_**""No!"" **_shouted the five Knights—and Kumako—in unison.

The brunette then tilted her head to the side, her long ahoge curling into a shape reminiscent of a question mark. "What does radical mean?" she mused to herself. She shrugged as the five Knights made threw their arms up in dismay, but then the image froze.

_"What will happen to our heroes?"_ the announcer... announced. _"Will the Knights of Justice be able to defend themselves against these radical teachers? Will they be able to overcome Dark General Hayt's brainwashing and save the innocents? Find out next week, on—"_

"Knights! Of! _JUSTI~ICE!_" Kumako threw her arms up again as the credits rolled.

Sitting quietly beside her, Reiko frowned at the screen, then at her older sister as the hyperactive girl ran around the room. "Stock footage... too much," she complained.


	71. Emiya Clan Misc: Sub Zero

_a/n — on the forums there was talk about the "Zero Challenge". the premise is simple: do a one-shot where an EC kid gets summoned in the Zero no Tsukaima universe. run over a few plot points aaand done.  
><em>

_some people actually went for multiparts but i just had this one idea that got stuck in my head so here it is. unfortunately even though it features koyuki it has to do with less of her own reactions and more with the immediate aftermath of the summoning.  
><em>

_shrug.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>.<br>**

**Sub Zero  
><strong>

**.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>The first thing she noticed was not the dust cloud that obscured the summoning platform. Rather, the first thing she noticed was the <em>size<em> of the dust cloud that prevented her from viewing the results of the Summoning Ritual.

The petite student tightened her grip on the wand she held in one hand—trying with all her might not to let her disappointment show through either her expression, or the slight trembling of her hand. She almost wailed in frustration. _No... not yet __**another **__failure..._

A sudden gust of wind made her reflexively raise her arm to ward off the flying debris and protect her eyes. The gasps erupting from the surrounding crowds made her snap it back down to view the shocked faces of her classmates, the concerned visage of her professor, and—finally—the figure now rising from a crouch in front of her.

Four limbs, one head—no scales, feathers, or leathery hide. Not a magical creature by any stretch of imagination. Instead a pale-skinned woman in unfamiliar clothing stood quietly—easily several heads taller than herself, the pink-haired student noted darkly—and quietly surveyed her new location.

"Louise," the bespectacled man gently reminded his frozen student.

The pinkette jerked with a start and glanced to the side. "Professor?" she pleaded. "This must be some sort of mistake, let me try the summoning once more..."

Out of the corner of her eye, Louise saw the newcomer's attention focus on her.

Professor Colbert sadly shook his head. "I'm sorry Ms. Valliere, but the rules state quite plainly that—" He was interrupted as the strange girl spoke several words, none of which could be understood by either party.

Or by anyone around them, it seemed.

"Hah!" Kirche chuckled haughtily. "Trust Louise the Zero to summon a failure of a familiar as well. She's probably really just some brain-addled commoner who was paid to come here and try to save face for her master."

The girl repeated her question using the same, foreign language. Still seeing nothing but confusion from everyone else, she shook her head and reached into a small bag slung along one shoulder. From within she pulled out a strange, flat device that appeared to glow.

A few students lifted their wands warily, though the girl appeared to ignore them as she tapped at the surface at random. When she was done, she lifted her head and took one step towards Louise, only to seemingly change her mind as she spun on her heel and offered the strange contraption towards Professor Colbert instead.

"What's this?" Colbert muttered under his breath as he quickly ran through several spells, both to check for traps and to possibly divine just what the strange object was. Finding nothing he carefully accepted the device and held it up to his face.

Louise watched as his eyebrows shot up. "P-professor?"

"It's a note," Colbert said in surprise. "To you actually, but seeing as this young lady has given it to me..." He cleared his throat briefly and adjusted his glasses.

_To: Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière,_

_If you are reading this, then you have probably just summoned my sister to your world to act as your Familiar. Unfortunately your world's __language is mysteriously—some would say magically—beyond our grasp to learn, so you'll need to provide a translation spell in order for you to understand each other. Fortunately we have someone here who's able to transcribe a written note for us, so here we are!_

_Please have that nice Prof. Colbert person do it _(Colbert paused to cough into a fist) _because we don't really want the poor girl to be blown up._

_Aaanyhow. I suppose introductions are in order. The girl you're staring at while probably giving your wand a deathgrip is Koyuki Emiya. At the time this note was written she was a bit on the shy side... hopefully she's a bit better by the time this message actually becomes useful._

_**Yes;** she can use magic._

_Please stop screaming, it makes you look petty._

Colbert lowered the doohickey and arched an eyebrow at Louise. Beyond him, several students were rubbing their ears as Louise clapped her hands over her mouth, mortified. He lifted the 'note' once again.

_**No;** she is not a noble... in our world at least._

_Professor, please also stop shouting, it undermines discipline._

_Now then, Louise, we know your first reaction towards having a familiar is to treat them as if they were a common—albeit reasonably intelligent—pet; let us hypothetically say. . . a dog._

_**Please do not do so.**_

_Koyuki is very liable to do whatever you tell her to do, but her ego is as equally fragile as the next girl's (but not mine! hahaha. . . ahem)_

The professor glanced towards the crowd and pointed at the flat device. "That was in the note, I'd never laugh at something like that."

_If you do so, at some point 'Yuki will return home, and she will share her stories with us. And we __**will**__ find you. Try to at least treat her as a peer, or at the very worst, like a maid. Speaking of maids we hear you have a very nice one at your school. You should meet her, I bet you two would get along swimmingly._

_Now then, 'Yuki is probably still sitting there confused, wondering just what we had her give you to read, and you have a ritual to complete. She's already winged so you shouldn't have any problems, but juuuust in case, please don't be frightened out of your mind if she glows and grows wings. Other than that. . ._

(Colbert turned green slightly) _Make with the kissy-kissy. Koyuki likes hers with a lot of tongue. (She seriously does, no matter how much she tries to shove your face away. That's just how she shows her appreciation. Honestly.)_

_Have fun now! (^-^)/  
><em>

_K. Emiya (Plus one very helpful translator)_

_P.S. Prof. Colbert the runes you see probably mean _exactly_ what you think they do. If you can, let 'Yuki what they mean if she gets them on her right hand instead of the left. She's got a soft spot for animals._

Louise blushed crimson as Professor Colbert wordlessly cast a translation spell on the newcomer. "Ah, 'Koyuki' is it?" he said as he handed her back her 'note'.

The girl nodded once, then took in her new master's face as she stepped forward and settled into a kneeling position before her. "You are correct. And judging by Ms. Valliere's expression, I assume my sister's note was rather... irreverent?"

* * *

><p><em>Several years ago. . .<em>

"Aaand. . . done!" Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière, the Duchess of Emptiness, dusted her hands as she wheeled her chair away from the keyboard.

"I'll let her know to keep the file on her tablet and hold onto it 'just in case'." Karin grinned. "Should we make a second note for her to give out during the next day? By then a bit more should have happened to cement her reputation with the other students."

Louise frowned thoughtfully. "We. . . could. . . but how should we go about this?"

Eiko piped up from the opposite side of the room. "In ninety-five percent of the realities I've visited or otherwise heard about, the Familiar ends up dueling against Guiche. In another four percent, it's Montmorency. That last one percent is up in the air."

Karin pressed her hand to her chin, "Hmm. . . let's just say, 'by now she's shown that that blonde fop who's boss.' That should still be _technically _correct while keeping the right tone of omniscience."

Louise mulled it over, "Actually, I'm betting Guiche would be more likely to try to hit on your sister than to challenge her. I'd put money on Mon-Mon."

"Great! We can add, 'Hell-oo? Ice magic? _Water affinity?_' That should do nicely."

Louise nodded and began to compose a second note. "I'd still like to think this wasn't necessary," she sighed. "I wasn't _that_ bad, was I?"

"Yes, yes you were," Eiko said bluntly, then checked the clock on the wall. "We still have a while before your Shirou finishes catching up with Daddy. Do you think we have time to make another note?"

"Ooh, ooh!" Karin clapped her hands. "Let's do Kaien's next! Ooh what I wouldn't give to see her face when she finds out about _him!_"


End file.
